Work In Progress

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

I told you I was heartless, but you didn't believe me.

dmh 12.11.2016

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

Wow, I really fucked myself up.

dmh

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

I knew this was coming but I didn't expect it to hurt so badly.

12.7.16

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

The words registered in my mind, and hit my stomach like a rock. 
I had been preparing myself for this news, but I guess I still wasn’t ready.
Yet here I am with a smile on my face, doing my best not to let you see how afraid I am.
I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want you to change, but all I can do is hope for the best.
I’ll be here waiting, I promise you that, as long as you promise to come back.

12.6.2016

[papertowels-blog]

[rmdrk]

#Brokenflowers is out everywhere - ONLY through my site do they come signed for a limited time. (link is on my bio) #rmdrake

[perrfectly]

[findingwho-iam-blog]

It actually hurts me how much I love you. I ache from the amount of love I feel from the simplest interactions with you. A kiss, a hug, or a simple smile can send my heart racing. But then you go deeper and open your soul up to me. And that’s when my heart really starts beating and my mind starts racing. You trust me, you care for me, and that’s a first for me. There is a side of you that few see, and it’s beautiful. You open yourself up and let me into these walls that you have built up for your entire life. And inside of these walls is this amazing human being, one I am so completely in love with. But when you try to knock my walls down, I don’t know how to react. Because inside of my battered walls is something less beautiful, and I’m afraid to let you in. I’m afraid you’ll run for the hills and find something with less dark secrets. One who can let you in without scaring you away. And I acknowledge that is not me. So only time will tell if you accept me or run away like all of the rest. I’m putting my trust in you, completely, which is something I’ve never done. So I hope you don’t turn your back on me and throw me out, but I just have to wait and see.

dmh 11.11.2016 1:35 am (via findingwho-iam)

[findingwho-iam-blog]

I was falling so hard for you, until you called me her name.

-DMH 5:06am (via findingwho-iam)

[findingwho-iam-blog]

Every time I close my eyes, I see you. I see your captivating blue eyes, And your infectious smile. I see your one adorable dimple, And I catch you nervously fixing your hair. Every time I close my eyes, I hear you. I hear your soothing voice, And your words of encouragement. I hear your smart ass remarks, And your laugh that stops me in my tracks. Every time I close my eyes, I feel you. I feel your comforting presence, And your body’s warmth. I feel your gentle hands on my shoulders, And your lips every so gently grazing my forehead. Every time I close my eyes, I find you. I see you, I hear you, I feel you, And my heart breaks all over again. I see you doing all of these things, And they’re no longer aimed at me. Every time I fall asleep, I know the truth. I see you happy and in love, And I see the one who replaced me. I finally realize that you’ll never love me again, And I wake up in tears, alone.

Nightmare. DMH (6:41am, 10.15.2015)

[schizoidia-deactivated20140519]

I am unable to describe exactly what is the matter with me. Now and then there are horrible fits of anxiety, apparently without cause.

Vincent Van Gogh (via c-ovet)

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

One by one they came to collect Pieces of my heart, body, mind, and soul. I reached down deep each time And opened myself up to every new one that came along. My heart grew fond of each new love Hoping this one would be different from the last. They said I was strong, a fighter But my armor was weaker than they thought it would be. Soon each one realized the truth They saw some helpless, broken girl in their arms. So they all turned their backs Never looking over their shoulder to see how I was. Tears stung my eyes each time And with them they took a piece of me that I could never reclaim.

Gone DMH (1:06am, 10.9.2015)

[findingwho-iam-blog]

I trusted you to be different.

dmh (9.28.2015 3:31 am)

[findingwho-iam-blog]

I want to get drunk off of your lips. I want to drown in your voice. I want your eyes to be my weakness. I want your embrace to haunt me forever. I want to lose myself completely, all because of you.

dmh (9.25.2015 2:37am)

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

What we felt was natural, Nothing was faked or forced, We simply clicked. From the first time we met, The connection was undeniable, Sparks flew when we touched. But you were a coward, Time was our only enemy, And we both saw the battle ahead. My mind was made up, I put on my armor, And I turned to face the war. You made up your mind as well, Laid your armor down, And you turned your back on it all. I saw you wave a white flag, Surrendering to the battle before it began, Your heart had given up on us. This had been a fear of mine, But I never saw it coming so soon, Yet there I stood, alone. Weapons in hand, Armor on my heart, Determination in my eyes. But each was now useless, All of their purpose vanished, When your words hit my ears. My world felt empty, Tears stained my cheeks, And my entire body went numb. "I never should have trusted you" My words spoke without any thought, They escaped my lips on their own. "No, you shouldn't have", Your words were the final blow, And I collapsed to the ground. As my door closed behind you, My heart shattered, And my tears couldn't be controlled. I accepted your decision, The battle for 'us' was not worth it to you, So we simply just gave up.

dmh “Coward” (1:13am 9.22.2015)

[im-a-workinprogress-blog]

I'll regret this all in the morning.

dmh (3:02am) 7/17/2015

[findingwho-iam-blog]

In a week He will be engaged He will have all he’s wanted He will no longer need me. In a week I have to smile and pretend I’m happy I have to officially let go I have to say my final goodbye. In a week It will all be over It will never be the same It will officially be the past.

1:12am 7.10.2015 (dmh)