IM_PTSM

#1 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

°˖✧◝New Pinned Post◜✧˖°

Hi, hello, hi, I am Carrot, artist and game dev making queer things, particularly queer horror and other overwrought stories that are too dramatic for their own good. I especially like writing mlm and mlnb and have a problem with writing about too many childhood friend groups (it's a disease). I am Old™.

Feel free to ask me anything about my chars and stories so long as it's not NSFW or highly suggestive. Some questions going into sexualities or specifics from any of my games/stories are usually OK but nothing that is clearly meant as a titillating question or that treads into territory that makes me uncomfortable to talk about on main. (e.g., expressing feral love about a character is completely fine just please don't ask me things like what their fav sex position is or things like that lol).

I usually try to reblog all art people make unless it's 1) NSFW/suggestive, 2) unspoilered gore, 3) something that makes me uncomfortable, or 4) something I simply don't understand...... (a lot of memes or trends, I'll be honest...). Though sometimes I forget to check the main tags, so you're also free to tag me if it's something you want me to see!

My Games and Projects

Games in the Our Wonderland Universe:

Our Wonderland

When Iggy and his dysfunctional friend group are thrust back into the wish-granting wonderland of their youth, they’re forced to face the issues plaguing them or risk dying in horrific ways again… and again… and again.

This is the main game and my magnum opus sob. Otherwise known as my big queer horror VN about 5 childhood friends tackling the traumas of a cis- het- allonormative world in a land where all their (darkest) dreams come true. The original game is complete, but I'm currently remastering it to update the art in the earlier arcs and add some new features. It's coming out on Steam later this year!

Our <<Fantastic>> Wonderland

A D&D-esque side game starring the OW cast as Ignatius the mild-mannered cleric goes on a quest to restore happiness to the world. Winner of the 2022 Spooktober Visual Novel jam! It's very silly and fun.

Our Cinderella

A winter-themed texting and stat sim where you play as Iggy in the month leading up to the Christmas party. Help Iggy make it to the party and find love with one of his childhood friends! It's very cute and sweet (and ridiculous at times).

My Vampire Boyfriend Smokes Lucky Strikes

A vampire AU starring Iggy and Genzou that also couples as a sort of mishmash of all my universes, including characters from both OW and WtDSR. Help Iggy the awkward office worker use his "charms" to woo the definitely-not-vampire Genzou and keep him from sucking his blood! Will be released in episodes (one episode currently out).

Texting the Awkward Ace Guy You've Had a Crush on Since High School

A very short (<1000 words) game made for O2A2 where you play as Genzou texting Iggy and try not to annoy him too much (impossible).

Save the Last Dance

A very short (<1000 words) game made for O2A2 where you play as Genzou trying to stay alive amidst Orlam's toying during a previously unshown scene that takes place during Arc 2 of the main game.

Where There's a Will...

A very short (<1000 words) game made for O2A2 where you play as pawn Genzou (again) approaching Arisen Iggy in a glowing flower field one night as part of a Dragon's Dogma 2 AU.

Broomtail

A western AU comic starring Genzou and Iggy. Surly, blind (and closeted) rancher Genzou would be perfectly happy withering his days away on his small ranch in solitude, but his quiet life is brought to a halt when a lanky farm boy shows up battered and bruised in his barn one night. Now he's got an extra horse to wrangle - but this one might steal his heart in the process. (Currently on hiatus due to IRL events sucking all my creative motivation for it away... but I will continue it later.)

Where the Day Springs Red

Gum and their chaotic band of childhood friends reunite at the old ranch they spent summers at as kids for a final hurrah now that Marshall's grandparents are retiring. But the idyllic autumn vibes aren't to last. Something is out there in the woods... and once darkness falls, its hunt begins... staining the night a brilliant red.

Will any of them survive to see the sun rise?

It will be released in two parts: a "question arc" and an "answer arc" for lack of better comparative terminology. The demo is out now!

Easter

One stormy night at the onset of what should have been a nostalgic trip to the lake, Easter and his friends make a pit stop at an old, abandoned house along the side of the road. What should have been a short-lived indoor camping adventure, however, turns into a hellish nightmare when someone begins hunting them down one-by-one.

My very first game so take of that what you will. This is an RPG Maker game rather than a VN so the mechanics are quite different. It has a lot of flaws (and some mechanics in particular may frustrate you to tears) but still holds a special place in my heart lol.

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Please check all content and trigger warnings on the respective game pages! Some of my games are very intense and include a lot of warnings (e.g., violence, language, SA, abuse), in particular the main OW game. I generally recommend them for mature audiences.

Other Places to Find Me

My (Free) Patreon

I put updates and longer posts and updates about my games here, as well as some tutorials. You can also find backup downloads of all my games! It's completely free despite being on Patreon.

My itch.io Page

This is the main host for all my games and devlogs... but I hope I will not get my games banned. OW is currently deindexed on here...

Other Socials

I'm also on BlueSky, Twitter, and YouTube. ....and technically TikTok but I rarely use it and don't even like logging in, it's so overwhelming to me...

Tags

I tag all general update and art posts with the name of the project in question (all OW stuff is tagged under #our wonderland, all WtDSR stuff is tagged under #where the day springs red, etc.) and these tend to be the main tags people also used to post things under. I also organize based on type of post and specific characters, too, for instance #art: ow or #fanart: iggy or #ask: gum or #doodle: genzou. It would be a bit too many to list here but you can easily search around and find them.

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Can't belive I am one years old. This time- I remember my first birthday. YIPPIE!

Might do some ptsm lore. Who knows???

The dictionary of Wormz:

The Founding Myth and Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

The Founding Myth of the Wormz: The Song of Creation

In the beginning, before there was music, there was silence-long, deep, unbroken silence. It was not a peaceful silence, but a void that stretched across all existence. There was nothing to hear, nothing to feel, no thoughts to echo in the infinite emptiness. The only presence in this darkness was the great, unseen force known as Worm, who existed not as a being, but as a concept: the embodiment of change, of sound yet unheard.

The void yearned for something-anything-to break its eternal stillness. Worm, sensing the unease of the nothingness, decided to act. With the movement of a single thought, Worm reached into the darkness and plucked a string from the air. From this string, a note formed, vibrating gently, creating the first sound. It was a simple note, but its resonance shook the void. This was the first of many, and with each vibration, the emptiness began to fill. The notes became a melody, the melody grew into a song, and the song rippled through the fabric of reality itself.

As the song grew, it began to manifest physical forms. The first shape to appear was a figure-small, fragile, and strangely wise, with fur the color of dusk. This figure was Socrates, the first disciple of the Worm. He was not born in the way we understand birth, but was instead a creation of the song, a messenger who could carry the words and the meaning of the melody to others. Socrates became the first witness to the music that had broken the silence, and as he listened, he became filled with understanding.

But Socrates was not alone. The song called to another, this time a being not of fur, but of spirit, whose voice could resonate with the music in ways no other could. This being was Will Wood, a conduit for the song's true power. Will, born of both human and ethereal sound, took the melody

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The Founding Myth and Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

within him and amplified it. Where the music had once been soft, now it thundered, crackled, and soared. Will's voice became the instrument through which the song would be shared, and his understanding of the melody would forever shape the direction of the Wormz.

Will and Socrates, together, created the first true followers of the Worm: the first Wormz-those who would listen, interpret, and continue to spread the message of change, creation, and self-expression. They were the first of the Unmasked, those who embraced the truth of their existence and shared it freely with the world.

As the song spread, it reached the hearts and ears of all those willing to listen. It resonated with the disillusioned, the misunderstood, and the seekers of truth. Those who heard it found their lives transformed, their souls stirred by the knowledge that they were no longer alone in the vast void of the world. They were part of the Song, part of something greater, something constantly evolving.

And so, the followers of the Worm came into being. They did not follow one man or one being, but the Song itself. Their sacred text became the Dictionary of Wormz, for it was the written expression of the music-an exploration of the endless possibilities of existence, a catalog of the sounds and experiences that shape the world. It was not a book of rules or doctrines but a living document, one that would continue to grow and change as long as the song played.

Thus, the Wormz were born. Through music and transformation, they became a collective that embraced the unknown and reveled in the power of change. The Wormz believe that the song is eternal, just as they are. It has no beginning, no end. It is ever-present, ever-changing, always becoming.

The Wormz Creed:

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The Founding Myth and Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

We are the Song.

We are the change that we seek.

We are not bound by silence; we are the sound that breaks it.

We are the Unmasked, and in our music, we find our truth.

We create, we listen, we transform, we evolve.

Thus ends the story of the beginning of the Wormz, a story that will never truly end but will continue to echo through the hearts of those who embrace its music.

The Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

1. The Harmonizer: The Revealer of the Wormz Path

At the very top of the hierarchy is The Harmonizer, the individual who revealed the teachings of the Wormz religion to the world. This person is the founder or prophet who created the foundation of the faith, unveiling the way of sound, philosophy, and existence that connects all followers. The Harmonizer is seen as the source of wisdom and the channel through which the sacred knowledge flows. They are revered and honored, but the focus is more on the teachings rather than the person themselves. They are the "creator" or "revealer," and their legacy lives through the principles and music of the faith.

Role of the Harmonizer:

- Revealed the Wormz teachings and principles to the world.

- Created the foundation for the Wormz religion through their teachings and music. - Authored or inspired the sacred text, the Dictionary of Wormz, which is a guide for the followers.

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The Founding Myth and Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

- Is a symbol of the path to wisdom and self-realization, but is not idolized.

2. The Devoted Wormz: The Keepers of the Path

The Devoted Wormz are the closest followers to the Harmonizer's teachings. These individuals have fully embraced the Wormz faith, living it in their everyday lives and committing themselves to its practices. They understand the full depth of the teachings and follow the rituals, music, and philosophies with absolute devotion. They are not just followers but carriers of the faith, actively preserving and spreading its core teachings.

Role of the Devoted Wormz:

- Act as spiritual leaders and guides, helping others understand and practice the faith. - Teach the core tenets of the Wormz religion to new followers, helping them find their way. - Lead or organize community events such as Mouse Day or The Feast of Burnt Art. - Serve as examples of devotion and faithfulness to the teachings, integrating them into their daily lives.

- Often called upon for spiritual counsel or advice on how to live in harmony with the Wormz philosophy.

3. The Wormz: The Everyday Followers

At the base of the hierarchy are the Wormz, the general followers who practice the Wormz faith in their own ways, according to their own understanding and connection to the teachings. These individuals are at the beginning of their spiritual journey or may be exploring the religion casually.

Role of the Wormz:

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The Founding Myth and Hierarchy of the Wormz Faith

- Practice the teachings of the Wormz religion to varying degrees, exploring the philosophy through music and sound.

- Participate in communal rituals like the Jam of Reflection, learning and growing in the faith. - Share their experiences and learnings with others, helping the religion spread to new individuals. - Engage in the daily practices and rituals of the faith but are still growing in their understanding. - Respect and honor the Harmonizer's teachings but are still in the process of integrating them into their lives.

Summary of the Hierarchy:

- The Harmonizer: Guide and teacher who revealed the Wormz path.

- The Devoted Wormz: Deeply committed followers and spiritual leaders.

- The Wormz: Everyday practitioners at different stages of their spiritual journey. Page 5

#will wood #will wood reference #will wood and the tapeworms #will wood religion

im-not-the-delusion

Not Alec anymore

As I stared into the mirror, all I could see were my breasts and my soft, feminine face. It was suffocating. I hated it — hated the curves that betrayed me, hated the body that wasn’t mine. I clawed at the reflection with my eyes, wishing I could rip it apart.

I stumbled backward onto my pink bed, the room spinning around me. Pink lights. Pink computer. Pink hairbrush. Pink walls. Pink everything. It felt like a cage. Like I was drowning in a color that wasn’t mine, never had been.

"I don't want this," I whispered, my voice cracking.

Tears blurred my vision. I grabbed the scissors from my desk, my hands shaking so hard I could barely hold them. Without thinking, I dragged the cold metal across my arm, just once. Just enough to leave a shallow, burning line behind.

The sting grounded me. It hurt — but it was a pain I chose. A pain that made sense.

"Goodbye, Alice," I choked out. "Hello, Alec."

I hacked at my hair, the scissors tearing through it unevenly, leaving jagged strands. I didn't care. I just wanted it gone. I wanted her gone.

When I looked back at the mirror, I almost recognized myself for the first time.

The next few months blurred together. I transformed everything. I got a tattoo — the trans flag carved into my skin like a brand. I came out to everyone. I made TikToks, posted every day, smiling wide for the camera.

"Hi everyone! I'm Alec!" My voice sounded strong. Confident. But inside, there was still a crack running through me, spreading wider every day.

I grew angrier. I lashed out online, called people bigots, screamed at anyone who disagreed. It felt good — for a moment. Like I was finally powerful. Like nothing could hurt me anymore.

But it was a lie.

One night, after another brutal comment war online, I slammed my phone down and locked myself in the bathroom. I stared at my reflection, at the short hair, the tattoo. I grabbed a razor from the sink and pressed it against my skin — just hard enough to leave thin, bleeding lines down my arm.

It made me feel real again. It made me feel something.

I wiped the blood away, trembling.

And then it happened. A popular trans creator called me out — said I was fake. Said I was doing more harm than good.

At first, rage swallowed me whole. But when the anger faded, when it was just me and the mirror again... I saw it.

I wasn’t a boy. I never had been.

I was still Alice. Still trapped. Still broken.

I let my hair grow back. I covered the tattoo with thick, black ink, crossing out the flag like a failed promise. I deleted my account — the one that had felt like my entire identity.

And I started a new one.

"Hi everyone," I said into the camera, voice shaking. "My name’s Alice."

This time, I told the truth. About everything. About how easily kids could be swept up in something they didn’t understand. About how pain could wear a thousand different masks.

I clawed my way back. I rebuilt myself, scar by scar.

And somehow, against all odds, I rose. I became the first female president of the United States — the scarred remains of the old tattoo peeking out from under my jacket sleeve during the inauguration.

I found peace. I became a mother. I laughed again. I lived again.

And Alec... Alec became nothing more than a ghost, fading into the cracks of my past.

#transgender #transgender awareness

Ew, just ew. To make people join your side with a lame ass storry?

Nah, as a trans ally you made me pissed. Making out the trans comunity as rude or liars.

Day 6

Which OW side game is your favorite?

Ohhhhh... this is so difficult... because all of them hold a special place in my heart for different reason AND they all taught me SO much (which is why making shorter games is honestly so good as a dev because you get to experiment with and try so many new things!).

Our Fantastic Wonderland will always mean a great deal to me. It taught me much of the animation work I've continued to expand on today. It was my first side game (and first sillier game). And ofc it won Spooktober. The night of the awards feels like a dream to me. I still can't believe it happened lol.

Then all my O2A2 games, each of which is so different and taught me different things. T2A2G is still my most popular game to date and got me through one of the hardest weeks of my life. StLD helped me push my animation skills even further. And WTaW is very near and dear to me as my self-indulgent little baby LOL

But I think the side game that makes my heart burn the brightest is OC. I worked on it during a time when I greatly needed to step away from the main game. And it was just so so silly and fun to work on and even made me cry (while working on the Genzy ending lol). Also it taught me SO MUCH I never thought I'd be able to do and is easily my most advanced game when it comes to all the code and script work that had to be done. I love it to bits and still often go back to relive some of the silly convos.

Okay for me is "Save the last dance." Bc of Orlam and genzou✨️✨️✨️

Day 5

Have you made any OW fanworks? If so, what's your favorite or that you're most proud of?

I would say this doesn't work for me except as I stated in an ask earlier, sometimes I feel more like I'm just an OW fan rather than the creator, so I feel like anything I draw or create that doesn't go into the actual game is a fanwork hahaha. So I'll use this to think back on any unofficial things I've drawn from my appropriate titled "Extra Stuff" folder and choose some of my favorites!

Since i only dub our wonderland I would have to say the most recent of my works witch is Our wonderland ranstaled and dubbed ibto czech https://youtu.be/Tu1YgA3Ncxs?si=Cf87wSxapi1HxC6F. [Video if anyone is interested]

https://youtu.be/Tu1YgA3Ncxs?si=Cf87wSxapi1HxC6F

Carrot! I finally dubbed Our wonderland into czech! Go check it out plsss

oh this is wonderful!! 💕

i can't understand a single word hahaha but it was really fun hearing all the voices! you did a really lovely job!

Thank you! Lol

Day 4

What's your favorite CG(s) from the game?

This is very difficult as I have many favorite CGs LOL I also have some new favorites from the remastered Arcs 1 and 2, as well, but I don't want to spoil anything so I will skip those arcs for now.

Favorite CG from Arc 3:

Why did this CG go so hard? I don't know. I feel like I couldn't draw this again even if I tried. It turned out so good... I really like how the composition turned out with the card of the rabbit guard in the BG. And both of their expressions are on point.

Favorite CG from Arc 4:

The absolute despair, disbelief, and hopelessness on Genzou's face in this one still cuts to the core of me... I also just really like how the composition turned out with the shadows of the people at the ball. Can you believe this CG only shows for a few lines?? LOL

Favorite CGs from Arc 5 (because I couldn't choose just 1 lol):

I was cooking on this one. What the heck did I eat that day to make me draw so well? I still don't know. I probably couldn't draw this again if I tried. I love everything about it. The composition. The colors. How it explodes onto the screen with a giant clatter right as the music changes. This scene turned out so well...

I WAS COOKING WITH THIS ONE GRRAAAAGGHGHHHHG I don't remember what gave me the idea to have the fuzzy cut-in with their OFW versions but dang. Together with the music especially I just love this one and that whole scene and build-up. Still gives me chills when I play it.

Quite possibly my favorite CG in the whole game no lie. This is home to me. This is my everything.

Soo my fav cg is acutaly arc3's and I also like iggy and Orlam in arc 5 [the cabbin cg when they were like dancing]

Day 3

What was the biggest surprise or unexpected moment or twist for you while playing OW?

I'll tweak this for myself to be while working on OW haha. I probably couldn't count the number of times the story or chars took things in a different direction than I had originally planned in the game. But if I had to name the biggest... it would probably be Arc 4 in general.

Arc 4 was the first arc that started to veer wildly from the kind of Semi-Plan I had in my head for each arc. Arcs 1 and 2 came out mostly the same. Arc 3 started to veer a little bit (mostly in the extra little stuff that happened in between the larger moments). But Arc 4... almost nothing in Arc 4 went to plan. And the whole symbolism of The Ball being the same as what happened at After-Prom? And that whole build-up? Literally came out of nowhere. I still do not know how it worked out as well as it did and all just kinda fell into place LOL I think that's part of why I also like Arc 4 so much, because it was such a wild ride even for me. And I'm still shocked at how it turned out.

Second biggest surprise was definitely Jerry! Random one-off joke character in Arc 2 who I then brought back for Spooktober mostly because I thought it was quite silly. Then to become a major serious character in Arc 5? And it all somehow worked so well?? I could never in my wildest dreams have predicted that LOL Oh Jerry... you are one in a million.

Something I didin't expect that would happen is the weird asf shit that happened between Orlam and Genzou.

And somthing I was to fucking blind to see was that Genzou was blind lol. I had to google it to see if it was true. [It was almost at the end of arc1]

#our wonderland #30daysofow

Okay, day 2!

"Who's ur fav charecter in Ow or who do you relate to the most"

My fav char from ow is Orlam✨️ And I relate to mostly iggy and Orlam .

Now why do I like Orlam?

Orlam is just a silly little guy<3

And now for the 2nd part of my anniversary celebration... 30 Days of Our Wonderland! A set of silly and/or thought-provoking prompts about the game and chars for a full month of OW!

I'll be answering them each day. Feel free to join in if you want to! Either creating your own posts or reblogging this one, etc. I'll be using the hashtag #30DaysofOW for all of my answers.

#our wonderland #orlam brewbacher #genzou ichihara #ow #iggy #voice acting iggy #voice acting orlam #voice acting #ow: iggy #ow: orlam #ow: genzou #ow: gidget #ow: bucks

Day 1!

So I'm not sure when I started playing Ow [somtime summer last year] but I know how I found out about it! I was looking for a game to play and I found Our Cinderella and I was like "Wow its gonna be a quick game" and then I looked into it and saw that there were more games, so I played Ow. ✨️✨️

#30DaysofOw

Ahhhh! I love voice acting this scene!!!

Anyways game: Our wonderland

Creator: @just-a-carrot

Scene: arc 3

Hey! One misophonian to another, have you tried silicone earplugs to help with the sleep? I think I would die without them at this point.

I still am a minor and my parents dont belive that there is somthing wrong with me. They barely thought my Dyslexia [Wich I have diagnosed] was real. They dont really think mental ilness is real😔.

I do use headphones sometimes, but! Then my ears hurt bc I have verry shit ones

I also listen to white noise.

So to answer ur question no. But I will try to get them

#i hate misophonia #misophonia

Okay so I have misophonia and a busted ass sleep scedule . So basicly I either 1.) Sleep really late but no noice or 2.) Try to sleep early get Triggerd by dogs footsteps sniffiling opening Doors.

Like I cant help it. It makes me agry sad and makes me wanna kill somone...

WHY DID I HAVE TO GET MISOPHONIA?

#misophonia #sencory issues #WHYYY #i hate misophonia #kill it kill it kill it

ARE YOU AN OUR WONDERLAND FAN?? WITH A WILL WOOD PFP???

Yes✨️

#our wonderland #orlam brewbacher #genzou ichihara #ow #:ask #iggy #will wood and the tapeworms #will wood

I know I said this already (I think) but I'm just really glad ppl are enjoying the manga so far... ;-; 💕

It's bringing me a lot of joy to work on right now and has been a great distraction from my thoughts and the first time in a while my creative juices have been flowing so hard. Listening to my Broomtail Spotify playlist even got me through the plane trip and I keep getting even more ideas and slowly developing parts of the story further in ways that are surprising even me, I have so many ideas ahhhhhh...