TW/CW

• they/xe/it/he • 22 • pro recovery just not ready • MDNI plz •

[im-still-struggling]

Sucky thing about being gone so long is now I gotta figure out the new tags tumblr hasn’t flagged yet 🫩

[luckyp3nny]

i hate when people say 'be careful losing weight! you might lose your period!' bitch!? id do anything to lose my period. how is that supposed to discourage me!?!?

[im-still-struggling]

Wasn’t really active on here for a long time but kinda thinking of coming back…partner made me uninstall this and took away my scales and shit to help me recover after I nearly ✨died✨ but I’ve been letting myself go so much and I can’t even stand looking in the mirror half the time. I keep looking back at old photos of the time and wishing I was still like that. I feel awful for coming back because I know this is awful for me but I think if I just try not to get to that severe of a point again I can be okay…so…hello again diary of screaming into the void…

[im-still-struggling]

Guys I reached under my ugw by my birthday??? Also it’s my bday??? I’m 20 now???

[im-still-struggling]

I’m a fucking failure I fucking hate myself I finally fucking reach my 100lbs lost mark and I have to go and fuck it up I can’t fucking believe I ate two bowls of cheerios last night I was doing so fucking well I was 39 hours into a fast and I fucked it all up and now I gained 1.4 lbs the next morning meaning I’m no longer at my 100lbs lost mark I fucking hate myself

[im-still-struggling]

Guys….I lost 7lbs in a week and reached my 100lbs lost mark…wtf!!! I didn’t expect that surprise today??!!! I just need to lose another 6 to reach my ugw before I inevitably lower it!!!!!!!!

[im-still-struggling]

I came back to a small tumblr break (like a month bc life got busy) to more notifs than I was expecting tbh…also I’m super close to my next gw as well as my 100lbs lost milestone!

[im-still-struggling]

Oh my god somehow I’m 4lbs under the gw I didn’t think I’d pass how did I lose 8lbs in 2 weeks I was horrified I’d gained I’m going to cry oh my god I got to my next gw I’m actually making progress I’m so happy

[im-still-struggling]

Omfg I finally got a vape!!! I’ve been wanting one forever I love cigs but the vape is so much better for work yippee!!!

[im-still-struggling]

I need to do my weigh in but I’m so scared I think I gained a little I feel so disgusting and I worked my way down to higher res again after a binge I had and I’m getting back on track I think

[im-still-struggling]

Yesterday went horribly, I went over my cal limit by a bit because I drank, and then it turned into a binge, I ate an entire fucking medium impossible whopper meal and mozzarella sticks after already going over my cal limit, I hate myself so much for it. I feel so bloated and heavy and disgusting today. I'm not sure if it would be better to do a multi day fast or just a longer fast lower intake today to recover though, if anybody has advice please lmk /nf

[im-still-struggling]

I woke up dizzy and I haven't the energy to get out of bed today but I work in a few hours :/ for 7 hours, this is gonna suck (I know 7 hours probably isn't a lot to most of you but it's really hard for me and I have worked much longer shifts at previous jobs so I do know both sides of the coin)

[im-still-struggling]

Fellow AFAB Vegetarians!

Okay, well, I'm mostly vegetarian, I don't actually officially label myself as one because every once in a while I'll eat a little bit of bacon if I have to but 96% of the time I don't eat meat and hope to someday completely label myself as a vegetarian

Anyways! I started my period today, and I think every time I do it causes severe iron deficiency because yesterday I started fainting in public with my partner and I couldn't figure out why because I was fasting and restricting but not nearly to my limit, but then today I started my period and remembered last time I was on my period I also started fainting too and I think it's due to iron deficiency. I take iron supplements daily as a part of my regular daily supplements but it doesn't seem to be enough when I'm bleeding too and I just need some serious help finding some good lo-cal iron-fueling foods for when I *do* eat! I still do intermittent fasting but I'm going to try to avoid fasting 24+ hours until I'm off of it in hopes that reduces fainting, if anybody has any suggestions please share them!!

[heartsnhollowness-deactivated20]

‼️ PSA FOR RESTAURANT GOERS W/ EDS

ok so my friend works at a local restaurant chain in my area and he told me straight up that they dont serve diet coke. they serve regular with seltzer water stirred in to make it less sweet, but that’s still so much sugar and so many fucking calories. i applied for a job there but im never getting “diet” coke there in the future wtf 😭 but just be cautious if you go to a restaurant, make sure you know the exact taste of diet coke if you want to order one and if it tastes even slightly off then just drink water.

its a big deal for me bc its an ed rule ive had engrained into my system for YEARS- no sugary drinks. i have a phobia of liquid calories

[im-still-struggling]

In my opinion the sweetner and sugar tastes distinctly different and thankfully a lot of places only sell bottled drinks, but this is literally SO HORRIBLE, people also drink diet for more than dieting, so that’s really just…horrible? Reblogging this so ppl are aware that happens, wtf

[im-still-struggling]

Thinking about the fact that my mom literally conditioned me into my Ed habits, she always signed me up for fat camps as a kid and literally had an Ed at one point in her life (idk if she still has trouble with it we don’t talk anymore) and would tell me about what she’d do and was proud of it. It wasn’t the only reason but it definitely played a part…I was also frequently punished for my eating habits though (disordered ones)??? She’s so hypocritical, I hate her

[im-still-struggling]

The shelter I’m staying at is taking a trip to a buffet today with all the youth in the transitional program, wish me luck /lh

(I’m p sure I’ll do fine I’m 24.5 hours into a fast and am hoping to just have tea and water there, the feeling will be absolutely euphoric)

Edit: lol nvm they left without me I guess

[im-still-struggling]

Fuck I’m only 2lbs away from my ge and I know imma fuck it up I broke my fast 6 hrs early for a stupid iced coffee and I got snacks with my friend fuck I need to do higher res again after today I need to reach that gw