Its okay to just and breakdown you don't have to be strong all the time. With Hanamiya
I am so sorry for the delay D: also i’m super sorry if this is subpar but I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless.
“it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
You stared at your phone, allowing the screen to darken. You could still hear your mother’s voice ringing in your ears, hot and angry, fueled by fire. You bit your lip, pausing at the entrance to your dorm, before forcing a smile back onto your face. Things would be okay.
Your phone kept ringing. Ringing and ringing—you were sure who was calling you this time, but you know if you acknowledged the noise, you’d pick up. You didn’t want to pick up. You rolled over on your bed and faced the wall.
You’d have a good day today, you thought. A great day. The window was closed. The work on your desk piled higher each day. At least, you thought, your phone had finally stopped ringing. At least you didn’t have to pick up.
You walked back from class slowly. You’d seen Hanamiya during breakfast, pausing in the cafeteria to assure him you were alive after having missed two weeks of work. “Just sick,” you said with a smile. “I’m all better now.” Your roommate gave a dubious stare.
3 AM found you still staring at your assignment. You’d typed all you could, but it was getting harder and harder to see your screen. You’d just get some air, you thought. Some air, and then back to work. The streets called your name.
It was chilly in the early morning. You stared as the sun rose over the horizon, watching from the steps of your building. Soon people would be rising for breakfast. You would, as you had for the last few days, follow them blindly and mutely make your way from course to course.
A body thumped down beside you. “You don’t seem the early type to me,” came a familiar voice. You remained fixated by the rising sun. “______?”
You shivered as his jacket draped over your shoulders. “My mom—” you began. Then a long, tired pause. “My mom is having a rough time.” As you turned, gray eyes gave away nothing.
“Yeah?” came the reply. You nodded slowly.
“She had a lot to say about it,” you added. Hanamiya’s eyes narrowed.
“Like what?” You gave a half-hearted shrug and bit your lip as it trembled.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Hanamiya paused.
“I don’t think it’s helping you not to.” Another pause. “You’re obviously the one having a rough time.” You blinked back the tears that rose unbidden. Hanamiya gave a deep sigh before collecting you into his arms.
“It’s okay to hurt, you know. To break down,” he said into your hair. “You don’t have to be strong all the time.” Your tears allowed the fabric of his shirt to wet as your shoulders heaved and shook silently. “There you go.”
“I don’t think she loves me,” you whispered. “I just want her to love me.” Hanamiya held you closer.
“I know,” he said quietly. “I know.”









