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l’appel du vide

[imissmobo]

why can i never just do something without taking into consideration how people are perceiving me doing said thing

[imissmobo]

I AM A PACKING PEANUT

you told me when you moved away we would stay best friends and not to worry about the rest

you wouldn’t forget about me or meet better people that you would fall in love with instead

so i sat on your bed as you packed the last of your belongings but i wasn’t one of them

maybe i am just a packing peanut. so small if you think about it but simultaneously taking up enough space to make a room feel just awkward enough for you to slam the back door and drive far far far away without the love you once had for me

i eventually went to see you. i drove all day in the pouring rain

you said to just let us go and leave you be so you could finally be happy

i had never thought there was anything wrong with me more than i did in that moment

maybe i am just a packing peanut who’s only life purpose is to be used as filler to protect better and more beautiful things

as i slammed your back door i saw the green jacket i once lent to you hanging up on a chair. i let myself cry as i drove far far far away without the love i once had for you

i think i pollute every piece of life i touch but arguably my own the most

experts say i might biodegrade in 500 years and finally get to seep into the wet soil of earth and come back as a flower or some type of pretty plant

but 500 years is a painfully long time to wait

you could’ve at least given me my fucking jacket back