turns out, your favoourite friend is the one you should avoid.
it’s me again. now i’m gonna tell you everything that always been stuck in my mind, but i never tell everyone cause, hhh i know i’m wrong for thinking like this but i just can’t take it.
SO, ig you guys see my post on tumblr yeah i’m just lonely and depressed teenager. back then. but then i find a way to reduce my sadness and i think (thought) i healed. i’m living my life positively thank god.
and here comes the “am i really heal? or just pretending i’m heal but actually not?” thought. Just because, this one friend.
at first shes my favourite friend cause she’s the funny one, and relate to me. But.. it’s getting annoying??? like how she always cry quietly until we all didnt know, but then post it on twitter that she’s crying. Well, at first i accept that and shows sympathy, and she kept doing this agaim and again and again. Someone will call me mean, if i annoyed by this. but c’mon, i, as a friend don’t know how to act like does she really don’t want to talk about it? or she wants to talk about it? you now she’s like bojack hoseman on season 5 episode where he mention about her mom died and he don’t wanna everybody talk about it and being pity towards him but actually he’s the one who always mention that his mom died and i’m being diane. Also, she always mention sad sad blablabla no one care for me blabla everyone hates me blabla. hhhhhhh while WE. EVERYDAY. ALWAYS. hangout???????????????????? (cause we live togeter in dorm sorta type.
ok second, she always joking around about “it would be fun if i have father” “i dont have father” you know what? her father still alive, and he still came to see her. and... it’s trigger me. i don’t have mother, and cry about it for 5 years? then i think i heal never brought about it accept it think it’s destiny maybe it is the path i am gratefull for everything AND THEN SHE’S SAYING THOSE SENTENCE MAKE ME TRIGGER AND MAKE ME THINK SOMETHING THAT I ALREADY BURN.
third, i ever give her tips yk, like how i thru this, think something else, be gratefull for what you still have, don’t be too sad for what leave us. She turns out saying her mother hates her too. JUST BECAUSE her mother RARELY call her. WHERE DO YOU THINK MY MOTHER AND FATHER DOING ALL OF THIS TIME? they never call me too?? never checking on me, you know things like this trigger me. like, i always try to ignore about thngs that happend to me, and always looking on a possitive side.
But hhhhhhh it’s hard to explain, i bet you guys think i am mean, cause always comparing what i’ve been thru with her.
idk, trigger or something? it’s like something recall my bad experience that actually i already burnnnnnn every scene in my head.
