Ella

18, they/them, aroace lesbian "Pangur Bán and I at work, Adepts, equals, cat and clerk: His whole instinct is to hunt, Mine to free the meaning pent."

[pangurbanourcat]

Help Palestinian refugees with a Click

Please help deliver support to Palestinian families; all you have to do is to click once a day for free, every day!

Fund that gives menstrual kits to people in Sudan!

https://www.globalgiving.org/projects/padsforpeace

And here’s a link about the heatwaves in India https://www.seedsindia.org/making-communities-resilient-during-heatwaves/

Please do not follow or tag me asking for help. I will block you. I would love to help you but I truly have no reliable way of knowing if you are real, and I do not want to accidentally support a scam farm. I'm sorry.

My name is Ella. Here is a document containing my interests:

🙂

🙂

https://pangurbanourcat.tumblr.com/ Hyperfixations Inventory Pink highlight Tttt = currently dormant hyperfixation (it does not give me

Here is my Glomble:

And here is my Pixilart:

Asparaguswinds's Gallery

Pixilart, free online drawing editor and social platform for everyone. Create game sprites, make pixel art, animated GIFs, share artwork and

Tags I use:

#mutual aid -- gofundmes and such

#thank you for the ask -- asks

#MyDivineVisions -- me talking about things I've observed

#MyMarginalia -- my art

#MyIconography -- my photos

#MyCodex -- all of my original stuff

#MySelfFlagellation -- venting

#MySelfFlagellation stupid -- venting but not about anything serious

#.Scriptorium -- reblogs (cause I'm copying other people's stuff to my blog like copying a manuscript get it)

#.Scriptorium annotated -- reblogs I added anything substantial to

#serious tone reblog -- any reblogs I feel weird adding a cheeky tag to, like serious calls to action or talking about people who have died (+This is purely based on the tone I perceive and trying not to be insensitive, not a measurement of how serious I take what you're saying!!)

#serious tone reblog annotated -- any of the above that I added anything substantial to

#others art -- other people's art that I reblog

#.taffyposting -- photos of pangur number one (my cat)

#.charlieposting -- photos of pangur number two (cat that recently showed up)

#.cockroachposting -- any photos featuring my faithful companions (block this one if they gross u out)

#.for reals schizoposting -- anything having to do with Schizotypal PD, which I suspect I have, as well as posts I made before I started questioning that line up with the symptoms

#catholicism -- the moral complexities of this thing that has done (and is doing) so much damage but also means so much to a lot of people. +chicago pope. who is also morally complicated for participating in it. +me complaining about how much catechism sucked

#hopecore -- hopecore hope core copecore manifesting and having faith there is hope manifesting and having faith there is hopemanifesting and having faith there is hopemanifesting and having faith there is hope people are good

#wof -- wings of fire stuff

#dont eat the neighbors / #dont eat the neighbours/ #big teeth bad breath / detn

#star trek

#crime and punishment

[troublepunk-ldn]

me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.

me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people

[pangurbanourcat]

.....Is it problematic that I'm fine with endogenic systems? I just don't see an issue with people using the most appropriate terminology available (plural and stuff) for the way their brain works.

Even if you purposefully give yourself DID I don't see how that's problematic. It's your brain, do what you want! It seems like splitting itself is something the human brain can historically just do when it needs to, and I don't see why purposefully inducing that is bad.

[coleopterabyte]

Part of the reason I'm so adamant about encouraging people to get comfortable with bugs, my own interests aside, is because we cannot have a bright, solarpunk future without them.

A green future is not a bugless future. It is, in fact, a fairly bugful future. If you care about ecological stability, then you need to start with bugs, because they're the most at risk with our current use of pesticides.

[pangurbanourcat]

And you don't even need to change your base feelings about them as long as you are supportive of them through your actions, aka understanding them and encouraging their proliferation in the ecosystem

[changelingcoded]

how are we feeling today

[heckydizzle]

@funnier-with-stpd

[pangurbanourcat]

I've always thought of this as "being the point of view character right now" or "not being the point of view character right now." Because it coincides with me listening to other people having conversations (while I feel calm.)

[jeszul]

[darkgreenonion]

@funnier-with-stpd

[pangurbanourcat]

imagine there's a water filter over this image

oh whoops my bad for most of my friends being female because I knew them since childhood. Yeah they're not my community, girls rule and non girls (me) drool. Also sorry for saying that I have things in connection with women just because oh just because I grew up being told that I would become a woman and my body's autonomy is talked about as being/not being a woman's right even when the word woman doesn't need to be used and that I'm treated as a woman even when I don't want to be and that being treated as a girl when I was a child directly influences my thoughts in the present day like having a fear of embarrassing myself around men specifically. Sorry I totally forgot I'm not allowed acknowledge any possible connection to perceived womanhood anymore. And that those things aren't actually connections to womanhood because not every single woman on the planet experiences them.

I will never deny that trans women have a connection to womanhood AS WELL (being women!) It's just not the same exact kind because we have different life experiences!!

The OP of the original post said that [because she's a good person and not a stinky tme] she would never claim a connection to manhood. She probably said that to get one over on "TMEs" , and I know most trans women don't want to claim that connection which is valid, but if you're reading this and YOU want to and the only thing stopping you is thinking it's morally wrong, I promise it's actually fine. You are allowed to be in communion and community with men/cis men/perisex men. First of all because they're people you can talk to, not movie monsters, and second because you probably have shared struggles you can commiserate on.

Specifically, the post says that having a prostate is not and could never possibly be a connection to manhood. okay let's look at attitudes surrounding prostates just for fun. Hmm having seen many advertisements about prostate medical treatment that have to state "please go to the doctor if you can't stop peeing in the middle of the night for no reason please please it's not that big of a deal to go to the doctor you don't have to suffer like this" ..... it kind of seems like... maybe... people with prostates are unlikely to go to the doctor when they're bothered by them because that's seen as weak.....hey what's another group in society that is treated as weak for acknowledging their problems..... also wait what kind of people are featured in those ads without exception, and what kind of person will the staff assume you are when you do book the appointment thus making the idea of going to the appointment super uncomfortable and something you want to put off if you aren't actually that kind of person......

Wow is having a prostate uniquely difficult because it's seen as something you're weak for having an issue with because it's connected to society's idea of being a man? Can people with prostates struggle with something in silence because it's a "man thing", even when they aren't men? Can women with prostates literally get cancer because of a connection to manhood even when they are women? ?

I promise that acknowledging this is not morally wrong and does not hurt trans men. And that the same is, of course, also true in the other direction.

[life-onthe-murderscene]

I did it in case you wanted the pic

[pangurbanourcat]

thanks. how do you perform this feat

[life-onthe-murderscene]

there should be a paint symbol over images when you upload them and it'll have water there

[pangurbanourcat]

I don’t have the app but thank you for this thumbs up

[pangurbanourcat]

My point is that the issues imposed upon you when you were closeted/perceived differently don't suddenly disappear when you transition and you're allowed to identify with those issues and create communities with cis people of that sex and/or gender in order to fight to resolve those issues (only if you want to).

Basically any time I said "connection to manhood/womanhood" or whatever, I'm just talking about a connection to society's views around the associated gender/sex, like toxic masculinity or the assumption that you have certain body parts. In an ideal world those associations and expectations wouldn't be a thing in the first place. But we don't live in that world so people do have to deal with them.

[cit-wingsoffire]

Sunny please!

Less of a “drawing” more of doodle to illustrate my ideas clearly.

I reread The Dragonet Prophecy multiple times recently and a detail I discovered that I didn’t remember until recently was that Sunny wasn’t originally described as golden. She was described as “tawny.”

I understand in practice that tawny is an orange-y color, but it invokes a dustier, dark color in my mind. So I took my Sunny’s normal saturation and greyed her out to get that color I’ve seen. It’s not perfect here but I gets my point across.

So cave Sunny wasn’t the prettiest, but I think over time she would absorb more sunlight into her scales until the other dragonets have to shield their eyes like “when did you get so bright?!?!”

Other things I note about her designs are that she isn’t very visible NightWing. It’s a fun idea for fandom Sunny designs but for the sake of story telling and the plot twist about her heritage, it makes the most sense that her the features she inherited from her dad are very minor.

She also has split horns to allude to that very distant ancient royal IceWing heritage she gets from her dad!

[pangurbanourcat]

tadc spoilers

I actually don't think Jax was favored in the finale too much over the other characters. The other characters got enough attention in my opinion and the parts where Jax was centered were extremely thematically relevant. Also the show is not thematically hollow. Those are both takes I keep seeing and I disagree with them both.

Theme: lack of human connection (that isn't curated by an algorithm and heavily surveilled) = destruction of self. Jax continually rejects human connection, hurting herself and others. This is contrasted by Pomni reaching out to her even after everything, as well as the other characters' relationships which keep them from abstracting (notably Zooble and Gangle.)

Jax telling Pomni she was making things harder by loving her after everything she had done reminded me of Crime and Punishment. It's harder to be forgiven and still loved after doing something horrible than it is to have not been loved in the first place. (and the difficulty and fear of being loved, vulnerability (tadc), being taken care of (c&p), being like the female characters (in c&p the female characters Sonya and Dunya are role models for their continual willingness to give and forgive yet Raskolnikov continually refuses being taken care of & agonizes over whether to help others, in tadc Jax is scared of being a woman).

I don't believe that any story with this much passion put into it and which has characters who make any sort of decisions can be thematically hollow.

[fairlyjeromey]

wish we got a glimpse of wolfs bedroom in the show

[pangurbanourcat]

“You know I actually hadn’t heard of that Charlie Kirk guy before he—” “I WAS THE FIRST. I HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING.”

[sweetpea67]

I don’t think most Tumblr people are intentionally trying to hurt anyone with moral OCD when they make posts that say things like “even after you apologize you should continue to think about how terrible you were and never forgive yourself” and “meditate constantly on your ability to do harm” and “if you don’t reblog this you’re part of the problem” and “you yes you are not doing enough for the cause” but it sure as hell is a real common side effect.

[pangurbanourcat]

I have had to ban myself from looking at the "for you" page because every other post makes me spiral. I only look at my followed tags.

"you have to constantly be aware of how you can be racist" yes I know, I already do that 👍I'm sure many people don't but this is not helpful for me. I am moving on.

[pangurbanourcat]

imagine there's a water filter over this image

oh whoops my bad for most of my friends being female because I knew them since childhood. Yeah they're not my community, girls rule and non girls (me) drool. Also sorry for saying that I have things in connection with women just because oh just because I grew up being told that I would become a woman and my body's autonomy is talked about as being/not being a woman's right even when the word woman doesn't need to be used and that I'm treated as a woman even when I don't want to be and that being treated as a girl when I was a child directly influences my thoughts in the present day like having a fear of embarrassing myself around men specifically. Sorry I totally forgot I'm not allowed acknowledge any possible connection to perceived womanhood anymore. And that those things aren't actually connections to womanhood because not every single woman on the planet experiences them.

I will never deny that trans women have a connection to womanhood AS WELL (being women!) It's just not the same exact kind because we have different life experiences!!

The OP of the original post said that [because she's a good person and not a stinky tme] she would never claim a connection to manhood. She probably said that to get one over on "TMEs" , and I know most trans women don't want to claim that connection which is valid, but if you're reading this and YOU want to and the only thing stopping you is thinking it's morally wrong, I promise it's actually fine. You are allowed to be in communion and community with men/cis men/perisex men. First of all because they're people you can talk to, not movie monsters, and second because you probably have shared struggles you can commiserate on.

Specifically, the post says that having a prostate is not and could never possibly be a connection to manhood. okay let's look at attitudes surrounding prostates just for fun. Hmm having seen many advertisements about prostate medical treatment that have to state "please go to the doctor if you can't stop peeing in the middle of the night for no reason please please it's not that big of a deal to go to the doctor you don't have to suffer like this" ..... it kind of seems like... maybe... people with prostates are unlikely to go to the doctor when they're bothered by them because that's seen as weak.....hey what's another group in society that is treated as weak for acknowledging their problems..... also wait what kind of people are featured in those ads without exception, and what kind of person will the staff assume you are when you do book the appointment thus making the idea of going to the appointment super uncomfortable and something you want to put off if you aren't actually that kind of person......

Wow is having a prostate uniquely difficult because it's seen as something you're weak for having an issue with because it's connected to society's idea of being a man? Can people with prostates struggle with something in silence because it's a "man thing", even when they aren't men? Can women with prostates literally get cancer because of a connection to manhood even when they are women? ?

I promise that acknowledging this is not morally wrong and does not hurt trans men. And that the same is, of course, also true in the other direction.

[life-onthe-murderscene]

I did it in case you wanted the pic

[pangurbanourcat]

thanks. how do you perform this feat

[life-onthe-murderscene]

there should be a paint symbol over images when you upload them and it'll have water there

[pangurbanourcat]

I don’t have the app but thank you for this thumbs up

[bundleofstx]

Another black trans woman who I know personally was just arrested for self defense after a white cis man attacked her and yet I don’t see the “community” rallying for her.

If you want to actually be a useful ally donate to her cashapp: $badwitch85

[pangurbanourcat]

imagine there's a water filter over this image

oh whoops my bad for most of my friends being female because I knew them since childhood. Yeah they're not my community, girls rule and non girls (me) drool. Also sorry for saying that I have things in connection with women just because oh just because I grew up being told that I would become a woman and my body's autonomy is talked about as being/not being a woman's right even when the word woman doesn't need to be used and that I'm treated as a woman even when I don't want to be and that being treated as a girl when I was a child directly influences my thoughts in the present day like having a fear of embarrassing myself around men specifically. Sorry I totally forgot I'm not allowed acknowledge any possible connection to perceived womanhood anymore. And that those things aren't actually connections to womanhood because not every single woman on the planet experiences them.

I will never deny that trans women have a connection to womanhood AS WELL (being women!) It's just not the same exact kind because we have different life experiences!!

The OP of the original post said that [because she's a good person and not a stinky tme] she would never claim a connection to manhood. She probably said that to get one over on "TMEs" , and I know most trans women don't want to claim that connection which is valid, but if you're reading this and YOU want to and the only thing stopping you is thinking it's morally wrong, I promise it's actually fine. You are allowed to be in communion and community with men/cis men/perisex men. First of all because they're people you can talk to, not movie monsters, and second because you probably have shared struggles you can commiserate on.

Specifically, the post says that having a prostate is not and could never possibly be a connection to manhood. okay let's look at attitudes surrounding prostates just for fun. Hmm having seen many advertisements about prostate medical treatment that have to state "please go to the doctor if you can't stop peeing in the middle of the night for no reason please please it's not that big of a deal to go to the doctor you don't have to suffer like this" ..... it kind of seems like... maybe... people with prostates are unlikely to go to the doctor when they're bothered by them because that's seen as weak.....hey what's another group in society that is treated as weak for acknowledging their problems..... also wait what kind of people are featured in those ads without exception, and what kind of person will the staff assume you are when you do book the appointment thus making the idea of going to the appointment super uncomfortable and something you want to put off if you aren't actually that kind of person......

Wow is having a prostate uniquely difficult because it's seen as something you're weak for having an issue with because it's connected to society's idea of being a man? Can people with prostates struggle with something in silence because it's a "man thing", even when they aren't men? Can women with prostates literally get cancer because of a connection to manhood even when they are women? ?

I promise that acknowledging this is not morally wrong and does not hurt trans men. And that the same is, of course, also true in the other direction.

[life-onthe-murderscene]

I did it in case you wanted the pic

[pangurbanourcat]

thanks. how do you perform this feat

[pangurbanourcat]

imagine there's a water filter over this image

oh whoops my bad for most of my friends being female because I knew them since childhood. Yeah they're not my community, girls rule and non girls (me) drool. Also sorry for saying that I have things in connection with women just because oh just because I grew up being told that I would become a woman and my body's autonomy is talked about as being/not being a woman's right even when the word woman doesn't need to be used and that I'm treated as a woman even when I don't want to be and that being treated as a girl when I was a child directly influences my thoughts in the present day like having a fear of embarrassing myself around men specifically. Sorry I totally forgot I'm not allowed acknowledge any possible connection to perceived womanhood anymore. And that those things aren't actually connections to womanhood because not every single woman on the planet experiences them.

I will never deny that trans women have a connection to womanhood AS WELL (being women!) It's just not the same exact kind because we have different life experiences!!

The OP of the original post said that [because she's a good person and not a stinky tme] she would never claim a connection to manhood. She probably said that to get one over on "TMEs" , and I know most trans women don't want to claim that connection which is valid, but if you're reading this and YOU want to and the only thing stopping you is thinking it's morally wrong, I promise it's actually fine. You are allowed to be in communion and community with men/cis men/perisex men. First of all because they're people you can talk to, not movie monsters, and second because you probably have shared struggles you can commiserate on.

Specifically, the post says that having a prostate is not and could never possibly be a connection to manhood. okay let's look at attitudes surrounding prostates just for fun. Hmm having seen many advertisements about prostate medical treatment that have to state "please go to the doctor if you can't stop peeing in the middle of the night for no reason please please it's not that big of a deal to go to the doctor you don't have to suffer like this" ..... it kind of seems like... maybe... people with prostates are unlikely to go to the doctor when they're bothered by them because that's seen as weak.....hey what's another group in society that is treated as weak for acknowledging their problems..... also wait what kind of people are featured in those ads without exception, and what kind of person will the staff assume you are when you do book the appointment thus making the idea of going to the appointment super uncomfortable and something you want to put off if you aren't actually that kind of person......

Wow is having a prostate uniquely difficult because it's seen as something you're weak for having an issue with because it's connected to society's idea of being a man? Can people with prostates struggle with something in silence because it's a "man thing", even when they aren't men? Can women with prostates literally get cancer because of a connection to manhood even when they are women? ?

I promise that acknowledging this is not morally wrong and does not hurt trans men. And that the same is, of course, also true in the other direction.

[pangurbanourcat]

I had a dream I gave birth to a baby that could talk what does that mean

Also I really really didn't want to have a baby and then I realized it was a dream because it was so unthinkable

[pangurbanourcat]

dreamed i gave birth to talking baby i didnt want