the friends in high places.

a private multimuse/1x1 rp blog.

[imperialdreams]

Minjae was huffing, carrying his own luggage (he didn’t pack light, as it turned out), out of the car trunk and lugged them into the entryway of the Shin vacation home.

“It’ll be fun.”

“Uh-huh.”

Ryujin knew that Minjae was fully aware of her lie. She wasn’t trying too hard to convince him in the first place. Talking him into doing anything that wasn’t locking himself up in him and playing games was difficult, but sometimes even she wanted to go out to do something.

Or, make a little progress that wasn’t game related, at least.

She picked up her own bag, and her laptop, shutting the back door of the car with her hip. “You just aren’t ready to get your ass kicked all weekend long.”

All she got in response was some mumbling that she was sure was some insult and despite not knowing what he said, she smiled to herself.

Minjae was smart, but he was easy to get riled up over nothing.

Hyunwoo was just as startled as Yougjin when Ryujin was in the Shin family home, scatidly dressed around some twig like guy who was busy playing a game—that Hyunwoo was instantly interested in.

A racing game? Nice.

While he went to sit near Ryujin’s guest, he noticed how he scooted away from him slightly and only nodded quietly when he asked if he could play. Hyunwoo couldn’t dwell on it for too long, however, as he was instantly now in a race with someone who was clearly much more experienced than him.

Meanwhile, Youngjin was bickering in the kitchen with his sister.

“Who!?”

“Who what?”

“Who is that guy? Do mom and dad know you’re here?”

“Yes, do they know you’rehere?”

“Well—do they know you’re here with a guy?”

“Minjae.”

“Huh?”

“He’s Minjae.”

“Okay, who is Minjae?”

“A guy.”

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to figure out why his sister brought some man to their family vacation home. Alone. Just the two of them. She wasn't making figuring this out any easier.

Sure, she was an adult but still! The entire situation was uncomfortable now.

Hyunwoo turned to Minjae on the couch after his loss, watching his character throw a fit on the screen while Minjae’s celebrated. “You’re good at this.”

“Mhm.”

He wasn’t much of a talker.

“Do you know computers and stuff?”

“Yeah.”

It wasn’t as if Youngjin wasn’t aware that Ryujin dated. Of course she did. But, that guy? He peeked over his shoulder at Hyunwoo and Minjae who were staring down at a phone together. Hyunwoo really could make friends with anyone. What were they even doing?

“Are you dating him?”

“…”

“Ryujin?”

She was staring at the two men in the other room, well, more specifically, at Minjae.

“Not yet,” but, she paused. “Sorta.”

At first, he thought the honesty of her answer shouldn’t have surprised him so much; Ryujin was always more goal-oriented than he was, but he couldn’t help it. But when she corrected herself, he was left just as frustrated as before. So, which was it?

(In Ryujin's defense, she wasn't sure of which one it was either.)

“Is that why you’re dressed like that? What did you plan on doing—”

“Don’t you get tired of asking so many questions?”

He sighed, his attention drawing away from Ryujin and toward an old family photo. Ryujin wasn’t in it. Lucky. “I just don’t get it. He doesn’t look too promising.” Weren’t their parents going to set her up with someone, anyway? But, looking at him… he didn’t look like he did any hard labor. He looked like—

“You’re like a twig.” Hyunwoo laughed, slapping Minjae on the shoulder and nearly knocking him off the sofa in the process. His laugh brought a bit more life to the building, especially accompanied by the synthesized tunes of the game.

(Hyunwoo was the kind of person that Minjae hated.)

@cir

[imperialdreams]

cir​:

It wasn’t planned, at all, really. 

Somehow, somewhere down the line one thing had led to another, and now they were spending Halloween together. Maybe Ryujin had hinted passively that her friends hadn’t made any plans, and maybe Minhyuk had just as casually mentioned that he hadn’t had any to begin with. Or it could have been that the plan was to spend it together from the beginning, obvious in the way Ryujin arrived at Minhyuk’s place with matching costumes, a bag full of candy, two boxes of chicken and two cans of beer. 

“Your big butt’s taking up the whole couch.” Ryujin comments, the grin reflecting into her voice. She plants herself a little more into the seat, purposefully nudging over at Minhyuk besides her. His weight shifts a bit more into the corner of the couch as Minhyuk murmurs something at her. 

“What’d you say this time?” 

“Nothing.” 

Ryujin slips her elbow right to his side, putting enough pressure there till he caves in with the smallest smile she barely manages to catch a glance of. “I said… better than having none and not taking up any.” 

“Your insults have really leveled up after hanging around me, I’ll give you that.” She looks over at him, but is quick enough to not let him distract her from the screen. They’re head to head on Mario Kart, constantly switching between first and second place depending on the next turn on the race track. 

“Are we still playing Among Us after with your other friends?” 

“I… only could get like three of them to respond. Not sure how fun a five person game of Among Us would be.” It’s a half-lie. She’s trying to read him, but not read too much into him. “I was thinking we should just stick with playing with each other for tonight?” Sometimes he’s an open book and other times he’s good at keeping himself closed off, but it just gives her more of a reason to try a bit harder at understanding him. “Unless you’re upset about losing out on the chance on meeting others girls, then—” 

Minhyuk cuts her off, immediately so. “No, that’s not the reason I—” 

Ryujin sees her chance and takes it, using the moment of his distraction to make it count and run ahead of him on the last sprint of the last lap. She mimics her character on the screen, standing up to copy the same victory dance. She doesn’t waste another minute in grabbing at the princess dress sprawled on the chair beside her, waving it in the air. 

“Looks like you’re gonna be the princess tonight!” 

@imperialdreams

[imperialdreams]

cir​:

“So did you keep anything else in the dark from us? Besides the boobs part?” 

“I’m sure you’d love to hear that I’m sixteen too, right?” 

Moon’s soon choking on his drink, enough for her to have to go through the motions of hitting his back a couple of times until he returns back to normal. He gathers himself back on his stool before murmuring, a bit more quietly. “You are fucking with us though, right?”  

Instead of a direct answer, she lifts her beer with her left hand, “I’m drinking with y’all. What do you think,” and texts in her right. 

[Direct Message to urhaa7689] i gave him the benefit of the doubt. never should doubt my doubt  yea, I think bee already ordered another round LOL  more worried about moon tbh. i think his tolerance is mad low 

“Seven’s not even listening at this point.” Bee notes, before taking the new set of drinks and placing them in front of everyone. 

“You messaging Urhaa?” Moon’s words are slurred, his eyes beginning to do the same even while they gloss over onto her lit up phone screen. 

“Uh, yeah.” 

Ryujin immediately reacts by turning her phone around, screen facing down to the table. She’s not sure why it’s the instinctive thing to do – why she felt the way she did about  her conversations with Urhaa. How they felt different, in a way she couldn’t quite share with the rest of the guild. Ryujin assured herself it was simply because Urhaa was a girl too, and sometimes that made all the difference. 

She grabs the cup in front of her, finishing what’s in it before deciding to message once more. 

[Direct Message to urhaa7689] would’ve definitely been longer had you been here though

Minjae pulled at the mask that covered the lower half of his face and let it snap back at his mouth, staring at his phone’s screen after having ditched a raid in the game he was in to respond to Seven. They were certainly taking their time with the whole ‘meet up’ thing—who cares to drink that long? Looks like a nightmare. Not that Minjae had much experience with drinking get-togethers in the first place. His own drink of soda sat in front of him, half empty with ice cubes slowly melting inside of the glass.

[Direct Message to SevenOfEight] shocking! scandalous! u must be pretty manly to put up that kind of fight and hold your drinks lol

Well, she did seem more like a functioning member of society than any of them, and he would include himself in that comparison. Again, he stared at the group as they chatted and drank. He wished they would be done already, because the later they stayed the longer he’d stay. He had places to be! The computer shop, for instance, where he felt much more comfortable and had planned on browsing at after this whole thing ended. Sure, he had planned on leaving not long after they were all together, but seeing that Seven was a girl in reality, well, he wanted to see what would unfold after that. Chaos? Awkward conversations? It seemed to be the latter.

His phone vibrated in his hand, and he snapped out of his thoughts and tore his gaze away from the group to look at the new message. He read it twice, then three times, to really understand what it meant.

Was it joking? Or was she sad that he (she, Urhaa) wasn’t there? He struggled for a few seconds to think of how to reply, slumping further into his chair.

[Direct Message to SevenOfEight] are you flirting with me? lol but im sure it’s fun and ofc, i’d have them eating out of the palm of my hand like i do online

After he sent his message he saw the man he figured to be Bee slog his way past him and down the hall towards the restroom. So she’s left with one of them…? He turned his attention back to the duo and found his eyes again locking with Seven’s. In that moment, he was grateful for his mask, and dipped his head back down to look at the last message he sent on his phone, quickly sending another one to get the attention off of him.

[Direct Message to SevenOfEight] make sure u don’t stay out too late. don’t wanna be left hungover tmrw 😜

[toauz]

things you said when you learned i made a song about you (jungeun)

Jungeun makes a habit of not listening only once. She knows everything he puts out there has been played over and over in his studio whether she’s around to observe the process or not. This isn’t to be fair or line up with him, though. She listens because his craft is good, especially for someone who’s been at it for a while now, and even if it’s not her personal cup of tea sometimes, she’s in no place to speak constructively. If he likes it, so does she. Just in that “supportive girlfriend” way if not otherwise. 

Sometimes she wishes that were enough for him. This is one of those times.

Wonshik hums wordlessly. There’s a pause between this and what he chooses to do next, nothing that crosses the line between comfortable and tense even if just a little. Jungeun in the meantime swings her legs over away from the armrest, sitting so that her back’s sinking against the couch’s. She pats the space next to her, quiet as well. If Wonshik’s eyebrows are still doing that thing by the time he turns around and gets it together to ditch the project (for now), then… she may scoot over a tad when he joins her. If he does.

He’s walking over until he isn’t, not leaving any space between them when he settles.

Finally.

“You know,” he starts, wrapping his arm around Jungeun’s waist, lazy but still here, “we’ve been together for about six months.”

“Five and a half.” (Hours, tonight.)

“I’ve liked you for longer,” Wonshik reminds her, slipping his hand into hers so he can fiddle with it while looking at her. His brows aren’t doing that thing anymore, hers quirked a little funnily. He kisses her forehead so that hers stop doing a thing, crossing his ankles and propping his legs forward, looking down at his feet. “It’s just a little something.”

Tongue in cheek, Jungeun lets him leave it at that, squeezing his hand. It’s quick to forgive if you’re both sentimental. Sometimes she forgets him allowing her in this space is enough, too. Happy… however long we’ve been dating, huh? “Okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Good.” Fine.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

@imperialdreams

[imperialdreams]

things you said when no one else was around (wonshik)

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’m gonna release it.”

Wonshik smiled wryly, happy that the production aspect wasdone, but tired and greatly, greatly doubting his work. The studio space he hadrented out for finishing touches was pretty plain. The coffee table had wrappersfrom the fast food place Jungeun had picked up food for them, and a few emptycans of energy drinks sat randomly around the room itself. It was the aftermathof hours and hours of him tweaking things here and there, re-recording somethings, and balling up scraps of paper he had notes on.

“Why not? You’ve been at it forever.”

Jungeun was lying down on the couch, her feet perched up onan armrest. For the last few hours she’d been reading on her phone or watchingWonshik’s back as he worked on the mixing board. She was used to the wholeprocess by now. At first, it was a shock to see Wonshik, who on the outsideseemed pretty lazy, work so hard without giving a thought to anything else.Then, she started to get annoyed. He spent way more time working and not reallytaking time off to spend time with her. He’d gotten better, and Jungeun foundit hard not to want to encourage him.

Kind of like now.

The swivel chair moved side to side as Wonshik moved hisknees, avoiding Jungeun’s eyes and looking at some random piece of art on thewall that he could bet there was a similar one two studios down in thebuilding. “It’s not great. I don’t think my flow or anything really meshed. Iprobably shouldn’t have used—”

“Just do it anyway. It’s good.”

“Not this time.”

“Wonshik, come on.”

He frowned. He rarely got genuinely agitated with Jungeun, or anyone for that matter. But,especially Jungeun. This time, he was a little too tired and a little too angryat his own doubts to want to listen to her. “I just think maybe I should stickto working behind the scenes on other people’s tracks. I like that stuff, too,but I don’t wanna be the guy that does better for someone else than himself.That’s just bullshit.” It was something he knew was rumbling around his circlesslowly. Sure, he enjoyed collaborating and helping bring someone’s ideas to life,but if he couldn’t execute something for himself what was the point? It wasn’tlike he could mention it to any of his friends or anyone remotely close to himthat wasn’t Jungeun at this point. She didn’t care about that stuff, so she wasthe one person who he should be ableto talk about this kind of this, right? They were dating, so it made sense. Heshared enough of his work with her anyway.

So why couldn’t she see what he was seeing?

(And why wasn’t he seeing what she was?)

“Shut up. Who cares if you think it’s not good this time.You put a lot of work into it and you might as well just put it out. You canalways build off it again.”

For someone who went with the flow and relaxed way more thanher, Jungeun found that Wonshik was surprisingly hard on himself when it cameto music. Maybe because he had to give up a few things to pursue it (a fewthings meaning contact with his parents), but he did not once ever say he’dwant to give up like this. Not to her. It was disheartening.

“Besides,” she said, speaking before he could open his mouthagain (she could still see he was angry, his eyebrows were doing that thing again). “Even if no one else likesit, I’ll still listen to it.” It’d be right there on her phone, like everythingelse he put out.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

@toauz

[imperialdreams]

cir​:

“I still can’t believe you’re a girl. Female. Woman. Woe-man. Not dude. But dudet.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“But you said you…” 

“Okay to be fair he…” Moon looks at her up and down, eyes clearly not knowing what exactly to focus on. He ends up staring at her forehead to avoidance of her eyes, and it makes Ryujin have to hide a snort. “…she never said she was a dude ever. Once. Now that I’m thinking about it.” 

“It doesn’t change anything does it? Urhaa is one too.” She mumbles. 

Bee on the other hand, has his eyes straight on her chest. Ryujin snaps her fingers right in front of his eyes, as if to snap him out of it and return his attention elsewhere. She now now instead takes another look around the bar, looking for other girl. She sees a few, but they’re all too old and clearly not who she’s looking for. Although she had mentioned of not coming, it was difficult to still have kill her last bit of expecting. 

“I mean, it changes some things.” 

Ryujin’s gaze takes one last circle around the room before returning to the can of diet coke in front of her. “You guys are acting like you’ve never interacted with a girl in your life.” 

“I mean, you’re not too far off from being wrong. For Bee, anyway.” 

Bee throws a punch straight for Moon, who easily blocks it without a single moment of hesitation. “I can’t believe you’re actually a karate instructor. And for old people. Who teaches karate for old people?” 

“Old people need karate teachers too, yanno.” Moon throws a punch back, which Moon doesn’t see coming. It hits him straight on the shoulder, and it’s enough impact to throw him off the stool. Ryujin and Moon both start laughing, before they calm down once Bee’s back up and seated again. “I can’t believe Urrie ditched. Then again, she probably didn’t want to come see three… or two guys at a bar on Friday night. Maybe if she knew you were a girl, she would have changed her mind.” 

“You think so?” Ryujin sets down her empty can by Moon’s drink, head tilting in consideration. It was something she had thought about before, countless times. It was the reason she had felt so close and comfortable to Urhaa to begin with, whether Urhaa knew it or not. Moon’s comment now made her wonder if it might have made it a mutual feeling had she mentioned it earlier. 

Bee places a hand on Moon’s shoulder, and the other on Ryujin’s. “So our guild is actually two guys and two girls, huh.”

“Do you need to make every sentence creepy, or something?” Ryujin snorts, while she grabs at her phone. It’s an blatant motion to shove Bee’s hand from her. She taps the discord application, before typing out something to send. 

[Direct Message to urhaa7689] u avoided disaster. bee is 10x creepier in person. but moon and him are 100x more hilarious in person so… lose win? 

@imperialdreams

There was one thing about nerds: they were eccentric.

Minjae wasn’t sure if he fell completely into that category or any of its sub-genres, but staring at the small group told him that yes, those were his guildmates, and yes, they were nerds that stood out. Well, the other two guys did. Whoever they were. One of the guys he figured had to be Bee, he mused, based off his weird looks to the girl (of undetermined identity). The other two, well, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t expect a girl to be among them. Either Moon or Seven lied in-game. Not that he was one to say anything about it.

There was a brief moment he accidentally made eye contact with the girl who seemed to be looking anywhere but the two companions next to her. Probably looking for an exit. She didn’t seem like the type to play games. She was definitely better looking than he would have expected anyone from their guild to be, at the very least. All the more reason to not be around Bee. Sucks to be her.

His phone vibrated in his hands, the notification popping up over the mobile game he was playing. With a flick of his wrist, Minjae changed the phone’s orientation and looked over the message and then the table of his online comrades that he was not meeting, but observing from afar. Only one had a phone in their hands at that moment.

So she’s Seven.

[Direct Message to SevenOfEight] called it i knew he’d be gross and i told u, didn’t i?

Minjae wasn’t feeling all too guilty about not really ‘showing up’ to the meet up, but now there was a small tinge of regret. Seven was the one he spoke the most to as Urhaa, and knowing that she also wasn’t the same gender she played in the game made him wonder if that meeting was more uncomfortable.

Then again, he’d have to deal with Bee and how annoying he’d be about him not really being a girl and all the shit he gave him, so…

[Direct Message to SevenOfEight] i don’t believe bee could be funny. moon, maybe the meeting’s been awhile. u guys kicking it off? or gonna go for another round?

[imperialdreams]

cir​:

Although the home was occupied by another family now, he still paid it a visit, observing it from a distance. He made sure to check for the tree too, where they spent a chunk of their time — climbing it, picking at it, sitting on it. In a way, the tree had grown with them too, even if it still towered over him by meters. Then there was the creek. His feet remembered it better than his head, mindlessly being taken towards it, as if drawn to it. 

If he had taught himself how to leave a place, Hyunwoo had been the one to teach him more important lesson: on not forgetting how to return.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” 

He dodges a few more branches above him to bring himself right by the edge of the water, before he gets a better look at him. Youngjin takes in everything about him again, from his homey smile to his always playful gaze. If anything, nothing had changed about him; and so it felt strange, to be here as a completely different person. 

“Can’t believe even after so much time, I still have to keep you from completely regretting your decision to get into the water.” He says one thing, but does another. Youngjin leans down to slip off his shoes, then takes off his socks, placing them off to the side. 

“How’s your dad?” 

He crouches down to get his hands wet, more so to feel the water stream across his hands. It was a habit of his, to just let the water run while he let his mind run to other things. “Does he still insist on you guys getting a rice cake instead of a normal cake even now?”  

The neck of Hyunwoo’s shirt was soaked now, the water creeping further down as the water dripped down from his chin. “It might be one.” Hyunwoo broke out into a big grin, clapping his hands together loud enough that a few nearby birds rustled in the trees. “I wasn’t jumping in this time, but it sure is tempting. It’s hot out here.” He hadn’t even considered going into the water, but, it did seem like not a completely bad idea… he’d dry off before he got back to his parents’ place, right?

The thought was pushed back as he stared across the water at Youngjin. It’d been too long, but it didn’t feel like any time passed at all.

This was one of their meetings spots, after all.

“He’s alright, getting crotchety as he gets up there in age but same ol’ same ol’.” He was a little shocked that Youngjin remembered the cake debates from his household, but he was always better at that kind of thing than he was. “And of course he does. He’d die before having anything else. I had to hear the story of how grandpa always like rice cakes more and how great grandpa liked them and so on. Why wouldn’t they like rice cakes? Other cakes are so much better now…” While his father and sister fought over cakes, Hyunwoo silently agreed with his sister but kept by his mother while they hashed it out. It wasn’t worth joining in on.

They’d all be happy to hear Youngjin was in town. He just knew it.

“I’m surprised you’re here.”

Why are you here?

Hyunwoo dipped his fingers back into the water, wiggling them to disturb the current. It was something he’d done many times. Not the disturbing the water part: that was more Youngjin’s thing. No, it was the part where he’d let his fingers get pulled along the current, going with the flow. This time, he wanted to push back on it. Just a little. Time to shake things up.

“You’re bad at keeping in touch. I broke the DS you gave me and didn’t know what to do.”

[imperialdreams]

urianius​:

you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. that would always be one of those interesting universal truths everyone of every age group would come to pass on: because at some point, everyone would know what it felt like to miss their family. in comparison to most, doyoung had been acquainted with this feeling since early youth and found it as familiar as the back of his hand was to him.  

if he closed his eyes and tried hard enough, he could envision a much younger version of sooyoung folding her hands beneath her chin and fixing her older brother with large brown eyes. but the memory of her smiles were hazy, at best. doyoung felt a wave of discouragement overcoming him but suppressed the oncoming feeling of hopelessness in favor of studying jinsol once again. she was different from his sister, different in a way he couldn’t quite describe — so why, then, did he feel like an intruder?

it was a thought for another day to dwell on.

“that sounds like something they would do.” the words rolled off his tongue easily, and his imagination followed suit. doyoung didn’t recall his sister ever having an affinity for cooking or baking: she wouldn’t even touch the toys for kids when they were younger. overall, she had been much of a tomboy even in her younger years. it briefly struck him as odd that their mother would wish to see that specific trait of sooyoung changed, but then perhaps he was simply interpreting more into a normal bonding activity between mother and daughter than there was. whatever the case, he didn’t bother to hide his curiosity.

the subtle hints, the body language, the way jinsol’s voice softened: such details escaped doyoung as he listened and attempted to invoke a mental picture. it was difficult to follow words when there was no face, no emotions to accompany and give it meaning.

it was like looking into a mirror with no reflection to be found.

“thank you. for looking after her, i mean. she tends to go overboard when she really sets her mind on doing something; she’s always been like that.” his voice lacked the tinge of nostalgia and the man displayed no emotion that would speak of his fondness for his sister. he wished he could be as open, as expressive as jinsol was but as a matter of fact — he was not, and would never be.

the glass in his hand weighed heavy when he wrapped his one hand around the other, attempting to lessen the dull ache in his wrist. jinsol’s words were surprisingly honest and it led him to smile; something real and genuine. a chuckle reverberated in his throat. “oh, don’t worry. it must be difficult for you, too. but if it’s of any comfort to you, she’s always struggled finding the right words.”

yeah, he would know, wouldn’t he? after all, he suffered from the same problem.

Jinsol shook her head, waving off his thanks. “No, no. We look after one another. I mostly make sure she eats.” Bringing her boxed lunches like a mom, texting her asking if she ate and scolding her when she says she had some sort of health bar and nothing else… that was mostly her job. Among other things, but it was something Jinsol took strangely seriously. Just as seriously as Sooyoung took her work.

“She’s ambitious, definitely. I really like that about her. Actually,” Jinsol paused, her gaze shifting down towards her hands. “You could say I’m jealous of that. Sooyoung has accomplishments because she works hard and gets results.” The lines on her palms were the same as always. A diagonal here, a diagonal there. Nothing changed. Stagnant. “It makes me want to try harder,” she said softly, looking back up at Doyoung with a smile. Her hands weren’t that interesting. Did Sooyoung inspire Doyoung at all? He was here, anyway. That was something. Her relationship with her own brother wasn’t at all similar. In fact, her relationship with her brother was pretty good overall. Sooyoung and Doyoung definitely needed a push by the cosmos or something, Jinsol mused.

“It must be difficult for you, too. But if it’s of any comfort to you, she’s always struggled finding the right words.”

The irony! If only he knew.

Jinsol laughed, pulling out two coasters and sliding one his way and setting her own glass on one. “This may surprise you,” she leaned forward now, her chin resting on her folded hands and a smile starting to show, “she’s actually much better at being open than I am. Between the two of us, Sooyoung’s the one who brings up the heavy things first.” It was one thing Jinsol was an ace at: being avoidant. Sooyoung was usually the victim of it, but she’d gotten better, she’d say. Sooyoung was sensitive in her own way. Hell, she was more emotionally available than Jinsol at the start. “If anything, she knows the right words all along. Sometimes she doesn’t seem to know how to bring them up, or she waits until I am able to bring it up… even if that is frustrating.”

“Hey, Sooyoung?” “Yeah?” “We’re girlfriends, right?” “Yeah, we are.” “Cool.” “…just cool?”

[And that was months and months into dating.]

Doyoung’s view of Sooyoung seemed stuck in a time warp or something that was absolutely foreign to Jinsol, but they were talking about the same person. Their view of Sooyoung didn’t exactly match up. Bits and pieces, but it wasn’t the same, not exactly. “I think that…” was this really any of her business? Jinsol wasn’t sure. But she did want Sooyoung to be happy. She’d be happy to have a better relationship with her brother, right? “I think that she’d appreciate it if you reached out. I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place to say that to you. If there’s only the two of you, that’s all the more reason to try to stick together, right?”

[imperialdreams]

cepid​:

He stays six steps behind her, just to watch her go. He takes a good look at her and how she carries it all on her shoulders – the weight of her physical body placed more in her right foot than her left. Her walk is brisk and slow all together, always a foot ahead and yet remaining a beat behind. The latter in waiting for him, for a reason he still can’t quite understand. 

“A second, I’m moving as fast as I can!” He throws the lie as he crouches down onto a bit of untouched snow. With the tip of his index finger, he traces the letters of Haseul’s name there. He’s quick to stand back up, walking away from the name only to turn around once, then twice, to check of its presence where he’s left it. On his last turn, he etches into memory the picture of the snow. “Okay now really coming!” 

He treads over In the footprints she leaves behind, as if he’s nervous to let someone else walk in the way of her steps. It’s a bit jealous, a bit protective, in the same ways he has grown afraid to talk about her to anyone else. Afraid in the fear for others to see her in the light, as cosmic as she exists in this space she’s invited him into unknowingly. 

And here, in the space of this fenced field, it seems like the world was made for just them, and it is purely unworldly. 

Today, they’re on a train. Haseul sits by the window and him on the aisle, because it’s always been that way. It’s a train to somewhere, a where that he isn’t sure of. But it’s not in his interest to ask nor his wish to know, because there is nothing to ask about, and certainly nothing to know more about than he already does. 

“I think the train conductor said there’s just under an hour left till reaching the destination.” Lucas mutters, just under his breath. It’s low, just for her to hear, and no one else around them even in this cramped train car. “What do you wanna do when we get there? I’m getting a bit hungry. But maybe I should just buy a snack if the snack lady comes by again. Or do you grab things at the grocery and cook something when we get there?” He rambles on, all with a big smile, because it’s always been that way. 

There were benefits to having your body be below the average temperature. Haseul hated them, but she could at least say they weren’t negatives. One benefit was that even by a window seat, you didn’t have to worry about being cold. Ever. There was no worry about hot breath fogging up the window either, so watching scenes pass by in a blur was a pretty pleasant experience.

(Not only did she like the window seat, it was also better: Lucas would always fog it up in the winter and with her between him and the window, she was able to keep the heat his body let off at bay.)

Her eyes were drooping as she looked out, looking past her own reflection to get glimpses of the world outside until Lucas spoke up. He was always so high energy. The science of their body temperatures really did reflect their personalities. “An hour seems long,” she muttered and looked up to see his reflection looking. He was looking at her (he was always looking at her) and it was clear he was just a bit uncomfortable in the train. He did it for her just like everything else (it was unfair, she said) he did. “We can get food,” she said tearing her attention away from the reflection of Lucas to the real deal. “You should get something to snack on now though, I know you’ll get cranky if you don’t.” In contrast to him, Haseul’s voice was just a little louder, a little lighter, and a little more sing-songy as teased him. “I think cooking a meal together would be nice.” Normal. Domestic. “As long as you let me do the cooking part. I don’t want another repeat of the last time I let you cook something.” She couldn’t help but giggle just a little bit at his expense. “You can help with the preparation part, okay?”

She could feel his pout coming on in three, two, one…

[imperialdreams]

Title:

[HELP] I think I like my friend and I’m too inexperienced to know what to do

Text (optional):

For context: I’m a 23 year old guy and haven’t been in a real relationship (a thing for a week in middle school doesn’t count, I’ve been told). It wasn’t something I was interested in before and I was perfectly fine with that, as well as being anti-social. Post high school I didn’t really go out of my way to talk to people for appearances sake and just went to my university classes, did some work for my family, and just worked on my hobbies. 99% of my social life is online and has been for about 6 years or so. In this past year I’ve played an mmorpg and in my guild I got close to another player. We eventually met a while back and after a while we started to hang out more irl. I haven’t hung out with someone irl that much before that wasn’t a family member. We have a lot of fun playing games and talking about tech stuff. She’s really competitive and I think she’s really great to have around and I, admittedly, don’t usually try to get closer to someone but I let this happen and now we’re onto my problem that’s been building up.

Since I haven’t talked about this with anyone, this will be lengthy as I try to gather my thoughts. Just skip to the bottom.

I’ve had this strange feeling for a while and I’ve pretty much suppressed it for reasons I’ll explain below, but the other day her friends said they were going to take her to a mixer soon (idk if they were joking or not) and I felt like I was hit by a bus. I know it’s not my place to tell her not to go. We’ve never really talked about or done anything romantic, not that I can think of, and it feels weird to just tell her that. If it’s a joke her friends made I’d look even dumber. I am worried that if I say something in general it could ruin this great thing we have going. I like being her friend. If I lost her I don’t think I’d have the same experience with someone else. All the normal, everyday things I do with her are way more fun than when I do them by myself but is that just friendship? I think about her often and while I’d never tell her point blank (she’d never let it go), I think she’s pretty. I used to say I liked girls with certain attributes like you’d see in a men’s magazine and her body isn’t like that exactly but I still like it. I could never say that to her because I know she’d call me a pervert and gross, even if playfully. Maybe that’s just because she’s conventionally attractive and I can see that. I talk myself into circles like this constantly.

The amount of times I’ve envied people who could easily have interpersonal relationships to not wanting to be bothered to wanting to explore them but having no idea is exhausting. I want to try to be a little better about it. I think I might be missing out.

When I get tangled in my questions of what’s a romantic feeling and what’s just friendship, I find that I can list all the reasons why I shouldn’t get involved with her that way. She has a real career going for her and some intense schooling and I’m in this weird place currently where I’ve got a BA but I don’t do much with it. I just like hanging out in my apartment and playing games and fucking around. Would that be stimulating enough for her? I doubt it. She’s from a good family and is going to continue her family’s work seriously unlike myself. It feels like she’s far ahead of me in many aspects. The idea of making any sort of move that could express something physically just seems out of my league right now. Not that I don’t think about it, it’s just so out of my element I feel pretty foolish and just like a “late bloomer” (I’ve heard it all so don’t bother letting me know) which makes me feel more foolish. She could find someone easily if she cared to and knowing that is what makes me wonder why, if I did do or say something, she’d look at me that way. Her friends have mentioned offhandedly about some guys she’s dated. They sound like a good fit on paper. Maybe she’s got a type. I used to think I had a type but what did I really know? I just said what I thought would be fitting for anyone. Her friends don’t seem too impressed with me either. I usually have no problem with this, however I want them to think well of me. I find it hard to talk to them and her brother.

Worst of all, I know this is because it’s just me not wanting someone else to take her time away from me. Like it’s only okay for me to monopolize her time and not anyone else, or more specifically, any other guy. I realize that’s selfish and she’d not appreciate it at all and I’d get an earful of shit from her for it. The fact that there is a probability that I could lose what we have currently leaves me terrified, but I’m getting to the point where not doing anything is agonizing in its own way. We hang out regularly, just the two of us, and I know I try to find excuses to spend time with her now. It feels pathetic. I just like seeing her and talking about stuff with her and listening to her rant about something. It’s pretty funny when she gets mad when she loses a game and she elbows me in the side so I don’t win the next round, even if it hurts a little I’d miss stuff like that if it was gone. Or the faces she makes (she makes a lot) in any situation and when she sends me photos flipping me off for beating her in a game when we aren’t playing locally. I keep them because they’re pretty funny and they’re like trophies. I don’t feel nervous around her exactly because it feels easy around her, but the more I think about it the more my nerves get the better of me and I just can’t do anything. I feel a little more confident when we play or talk online and I only see her typing in a chat field, but how do you bring something like that up? It doesn’t seem like the right way to go about it.

Right now, I don’t see that she has any sort of feelings other than friendship. I don’t have any hints or anything to go off of. Like I said, I’m not experienced with this. The most I know is from tv or manhwa and I’m fully aware that’s not a good basis. She’s the only person I could even begin to talk to about something like this and obviously I can’t do that. That’s why I need help. I know I need to just do it, but how I can stop these doubts that cause me to write a novel?

tldr; I don’t want to ruin a friendship by acting on feelings I think could be romantic, but I’m not sure if they are or not. Any advice would be appreciated.

@cir

[shownumetal]

[cir]

💝 "75. our muses make a snowman together and name it."

There are only so many parallel universes that concern him.

He thinks maybe in another universe, he’s colder and she’s warmer. And then in the other, she likes the right side of the couch and him the left. In the next, he’s the one to grab his hand first when they walk somewhere, and she’s the one who matches his steps to hers. And in this universe, she shows him the seasons for what they can hold, and he can’t remember why he’s hated winter all his life.

They’re at the park near the river, with a field of snow surrounding them in every direction. Others would call it a snowstorm, but Haseul calls it home, and Lucas deems it so. They walk towards a part of the park that has been untouched, without footprints and without anyone else.

“Maybe it’s childish, but…” Haseul begins, as she pulls him up a hill. Lucas stares at her, because it’s all he knows to do. He sees the faintest of a blush on her cheeks, but doesn’t dare to attribute to anything but the weather. “…we should build a snowman!”

Lucas nods in response. When they get to the top of the hill, he stops her for a moment. Haseul turns around to him, and he takes off his beanie to pull it over her head, until her ears are covered. Only then does he give a grin, as if satisfied. Haseul gives him a half-pout, but Lucas sees the corners of her lips struggling to keep themselves from lifting.

“I can’t get cold, silly. Just like you don’t feel the heat.”

“I know… but I still don’t like the thought of you getting cold.” He mumbles, even knowing it was fully near impossible.

“Thank you.” Haseul says, while she too, leans over to grab his wrist. She brings it up only to pull his mittens down, to fully cover his hands, on both his right and left hand.

Before her hand gets too far, Lucas grabs it to lead them to another part of the hill. 

The snowman they end up building isn’t too tall, and rather weird looking. It tilts on one side and they aren’t able to find anything but a single rock to make an eye, and some branches to give him arms. When they finish, both of them take a step back and place their hands on their waist and tilt their own heads to admire it. They’ve got the same dumb grin on their faces.

“He’s handsome.” 

“Mmhm.” He muffles his answer, as if it’d hide his tinge of jealousy.

“What should we call him?”

“Hm…” Haseul sees the gears turning in Lucas’ head, and notes the way he’s focusing. His brows furrow, and his face folds up without knowing. She slowly moves towards the ground, a hand extended towards the snow and grabbing a handful. When she’s got enough to form a ball, she recklessly throws it to him, and it, by sheer luck, lands straight on Lucas’ forehead.

Lucas freezes, and it’s not Haseul’s doing. “Seul…”

He shakes off the snow from his face, and searches for her eyes. When their gazes meet, there’s a bit of tension there for a moment, both of them completely still before they both break out into a fit of laughter. Haseul starts running first, towards nothing but just to get away from him. She’s clearly slower than him, but Lucas’ steps always lag behind a beat, purposefully and with clear intention to let her escape his grasp.

@imperialdreams

[imperialdreams]

A natural source of running water was significantly more relaxing than just running the sink water. It was something Hyunwoo hoped to replicate when he first moved to Seoul, but he could never get the water to trickle just right and there was nothing that could match the sound of water sloshing against rocks that had been stuck in the bed for decades, maybe even centuries.

“Forever” is what he’d tell his sister when she asked how long they’d been there. It seemed true enough, so it wasn’t lying!

He came back home to celebrate his father’s birthday for a few days. The usual catching up (“You don’t call enough, boy”) and complaining about how his room became a place for his father to stash his junk (“Dad, your tackle box collection takes up half the room”) he enjoyed the rest of the night laughing along with his sister’s jokes. They had a good time, but he needed to do his morning run, especially after how much he had to eat and drink the night before.

This is how Hyunwoo ended up at the creek (his feet just took him there, he convinced himself). He wasn’t used to a cross-country run anymore. Usually, the trails and routes he ran were pretty well run or pure concrete—here he was presented with a challenge, one he missed. There was something to say about the country that the city couldn’t compare to. That, and the air was better.

Deep breath.

(This was their spot. It was okay to soak it all in.)

For a brief moment he considered taking off his shoes and socks to soak his feet, but the idea of waiting for his feet to dry seemed like too much of a hassle. The water still seemed clean enough though, so Hyunwoo ended up crouching down to splash some of the water on his face. Then, a little more. A little more. A little more.

Soon, his hair was soaking wet and dripping all over his shirt.

Since it was so early in the morning, he wasn’t expecting to hear the unmistakable sound of snapping branches. He looked up, focusing on the approaching figure until they stood directly across the creek from him.

“Your hair looks okay.”

@cir

[imperialdreams]

urianius​:

it was a sting, it always was. but it was one he’d earned.

the physical similarities between brother and sister were, in many ways, more than a fleeting reminder whenever he looked into the mirror: it brought back memories of another lifetime and made him once more aware of the changes their relationship had gone through in the span of just a few years. doyoung cared a great deal, even if the situation at present would no longer allow for him to voice it with the same ease as that of a young boy.

he thanked jinsol for the glass of water she offered and found that the smooth, cold surface was like balm to his frayed nerves. doyoung couldn’t claim to know lots of his sister’s friends but she seemed to handle herself well despite his sudden, unannounced visit.

he came to the conclusion that she was an important person to sooyoung: a relationship of less substance would not have resulted in them moving in together. it reassured him and gave him enough respite to ponder on the meaning of his father’s news. what would his sister think, what would she do? interestingly enough, it was difficult to picture her reaction: after years of separation, sooyoung was an elusive mosaic to him.

“she does?” the sentiment caught him off guard and upon realizing it, he felt even more uncomfortable. his own apartment was so sparsely decorated to the point where he had not a single picture hanging on the walls to remind him of his family (or friends, for that matter): maybe that was why he didn’t enjoy his own place as much as he thought he would. but moving back home was not an option, now that his father’s girlfriend was moving in. the thought was annoying and shoved immediately to the back of his mind.

dutifully following jinsol, his lips quirked into a small smile at the sight of the mentioned frame. it had been taken during their childhood and was attached to fond memories of playing all kinds of stupid games with his sister for hours on end. she’d been his best friend back then. doyoung felt odd thinking about it. the younger version of himself would never believe where they would end up years into the future.

still nursing the glass in his hand, he turned to face jinsol once again. he didn’t mean to study her features but was well aware it could come across that way, before deciding to open his mouth and speak. “i’m sorry i didn’t ask, but you and my sister must be close. could you tell me a little about how she’s doing? if she’s alright, and …” he trailed off, gesturing towards the picture as though that was all he could do to make his point.

it pained doyoung, to be unable to ask sooyoung directly. but she was a proud woman, and some part of him suspected she’d never forgiven him for taking their father’s side in the process of their parents’ divorce. so perhaps this was, at present, the best chance for him to hear about the person his sister had become. “if it’s not too presumptuous of me to ask, how did you two meet?”

It was a shame that she couldn’t regularly talk about how she met Sooyoung, but at least she could tell her brother the truth about that… somewhat.

“Oh, not at all!”

And then the truth spilled out.

The memories were vivid for Jinsol, “I took a cooking class with a friend, just to see what it was like,” (it wasn’t very good, she could have done better and she made sure to let her friend know this after every class) “and Sooyoung and… well, your mother, were in it.” Cue Jinsol’s awkward smile, unsure if that was a touchy subject or not (it probably was). “Sooyoungie,” (it rolled off her tongue way too easily) “said your mother wanted to do it as a bonding activity. Your sister probably just needed it; she’s bad at cooking. I usually do it all for us.” Domestic life with Sooyoung wasn’t so bad, as long as she stayed out of the kitchen things usually went well. “We saw one another at—” Jinsol closed her mouth as she deliberated how to describe that specific June event. “a festival. We just started to talk and hang out more after that.”

Whew, a good save. Sorta.

Jinsol took a drink of her water, the condensation getting her fingers wet, but it was welcome—her hands were starting to feel sweaty. “But since then…” she started to trail off as she put together how much Sooyoung changed in the time they met to that very moment. “she’s always been working hard. Whether it’s dancing or working for your mother, she’s always putting in a lot of effort. It’s really admirable.” That was the gap between them, after all. Sooyoung had her own goals, but she couldn’t say the same for herself. “I think she works too much, sometimes, but she finds time to relax.” It did make her wonder if Doyoung had the same drive as his sister did. “I believe she’s doing well. At least, I hope so. I try to get her to slow down.”

Well, it was more like she pestered Sooyoung to take a break and have a snack, or watch television with her.

She cast her gaze onto the photo of Doyoung and Sooyoung, smiling softly. Sooyoung was a cute kid. “She isn’t particularly open about things but I know she misses you.” Hopefully she wouldn’t get mad at her for saying all of this. Was it so wrong that Jinsol wanted Sooyoung’s brother to have a good impression of her? “I’ve asked about you, but she doesn’t say much. She does that sometimes… but I think it means it’s just hard for her to talk about, not that she really doesn’t want to.”

Another sip, her throat was feeling dry.

“Sorry, I dumped a lot onto you.”

[imperialdreams]

urianius‌:

right off the bat, there was something incredibly odd about this situation. for all intents and purposes, this shouldn’t have been as awkward as it turned out to be — the distance between sooyoung and himself only further served to highlight the differences in their family.

the thought should have been saddening but it only left him feeling surprisingly detached.

“ah.” that was really all he could manage in that moment, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. the woman before him seemed oddly on edge as though doyoung’s unannounced presence somehow meant more to her than he could possibly fathom at present. studying her features for a brief moment, an owlish blink followed suit, “you’re her roommate?”

another very… peculiar thing. or was it? maybe he was the weird one for assuming sooyoung would shut herself off from the world to live life in isolation. it wasn’t his sister’s style. then again, doyoung hadn’t bothered to keep in touch with his sister for a considerable amount of time so the lack of knowledge was most likely his fault to begin with. his stomach tightened in confusion but he managed to work up a pleasant smile regardless as he focused on the other woman again. “it’s nice to meet you. i wasn’t aware my sister lived with someone else, so i’m sorry for the…” awkwardness? confusion?

yeah. he wasn’t gonna say that out loud.

doyoung should have said something to make jinsol feel at ease: the tension was palpable and made him nervous as well though he couldn’t quite pinpoint why that was. for a heartbeat, he considered offering to come back later to spare all of them the embarrassment of having to see sooyoung’s widened eyes the minute she walked through that door and found her twin brother sitting in the living room. he gulped but wordlessly followed his sister’s roommate while feeling like the intruder he was.

shit. his father should have come here on his own.

“a water would be nice.” clearing his throat, he knew the attempt at a genuine smile would fail so the male only offered a grateful nod as jinsol hurried off.

(sooyoung better show up soon. he couldn’t deal with this for much longer.)

“You’re her roommate?”

Again, the word was wrong. It was all wrong, really: the situation that they were in, the world they lived in, the way Jinsol clearly couldn’t keep her cool…

“Yeah.”

Roommate really didn’t cut it.

But,

there was no need to elaborate on the lie.

When Jinsol had gotten the glasses down from the cupboard, all that gnawing at her was that Sooyoung should be there. She knew she’d be happy to see Doyoung, even if she didn’t outright show it. Jinsol herself couldn’t even imagine having such an estranged relationship with her brother—it’d just be… awful.

Ice cubes preceded the water she poured for them, a crackling sound filled the otherwise silent kitchen when she added in the water. She always did like that sound, but it was too loud that day.

“You look a lot alike,” was all she could manage when she finally handed him his glass, the time she had to dodge conversation was used up and now she had to make the best of it. Might as well start with something mundane. “There’s a photo in the living room—if you’ll follow me—with you two in it,” she gestured for him to follow her, finally letting her shoulders relax a little. She didn’t want to look him in the eyes much. There’s little room to hide when you’re the only two in the apartment. She passed by the shelf of Gundam figures that she was allotted by Sooyoung (a promise when she moved in—or a form of bait, she wasn’t sure), wondering what she and her brother looked like side by side when they were little to others. Messy kids with action figures in each hand probably all looked alike, though.

As she sat down on a loveseat, Jinsol stole a glance at the photo she mentioned to him that was placed amongst a few others, one of which included herself with Sooyoung. Sooyoung was a cute kid, and clearly Doyoung was too. It did make her wonder if it was the only photo Sooyoung owned of them together, and that thought was a little sad. “Maybe you guys grew up, but you still look similar,” when she finally got the nerve to look him in the eyes, she couldn’t help but give him a soft smile—it was hard not to, with him looking uncomfortable she felt a little bad. She definitely didn’t make it any easier on him. Relax.

[imperialdreams]

consilian‌:

@imperialdreams.

doyoung could swear it’s a miracle he hasn’t broken out into a cold sweat. yet.

which has nothing to do with the gifts his father loaded him with and everthing to do with the fact who these presents are meant for in the first place. contact to his twin sister has been few and far between, a few greetings on their birthday and whenever another holiday approaches but other than that, he hasn’t seen sooyoung since    

honestly, he doesn’t remember. which makes being the bearer of bad news even worse.

their mom’s reaction to news of their dad’s new girlfriend had been interesting. he frankly couldn’t pinpoint her reaction for sure: it seems to have been a combination of annoyance, feigned disinterest and genuine confusion. all this drama and he’s vaguely confident in sooyoung remaining completely unaware of the new development in her father’s life.

the entire drive to sooyoung’s place is nerve-wracking and does nothing for his own self-esteem. their last personal encounter ended in one of their many fights and it’s no understatement to say he’s coming prepared this time around: if there’s one thing he knows for sure, it’s that she won’t accept the presents sent by their father. knowing sooyoung, she’ll think it’s some sly act to get back into her good graces. ha, as if.

imagine his surprise when he finds himself standing at the door to his sister’s apartment and a girl — who’s definitely not sooyoung — looking alarmed when she opens the door. it’s definitely an uncomfortable situation to find himself in so he does what anyone would do: clear his throat, pretend to have it all together and offer an awkward smile.

“my bad, last i knew my sister was living here. you don’t happen to know if she moved? name’s kim sooyoung?”

There is no other moment that Jinsol could pinpoint as a time where her life flashed before her eyes until that very second that Sooyoung’s brother stood at the threshold of their apartment. She stood frozen as she let her mind assess the situation. One, she had to keep it together. Two, Sooyoung’s brother, as far as she knew, didn’t know that Sooyoung dated women. So, Two meant that Three, she’d need to lie and also accomplish One at the same time.

Well, shit.

“Yes, I mean no—she didn’t move. She lives here. We live here. Sorry.”

Cool, Jinsol. You’re doing great!

“We’re roommates; I’m Jinsol. She and I went to the same school.”

That stung even her, of all people. Move on.

“She told me she’d be in a meeting this afternoon, so I’m not sure when she’ll be home… but come in.” There was no ‘I’ve heard so much about you!’ that she could give him as a passing pleasantry. Doyoung was one of those subjects that Sooyoung avoided (not that Jinsol was one to talk about avoidance) delving too deeply into. She held open the door for him, gazing over his facial features and pinpointing what reminded her of Sooyoung (there were a few, shocker). She shut the door behind him and slid past so she didn’t bump into him. She knew everything she said was rushed, but she needed a minute to regroup.

How do you make a good impression on your girlfriend’s brother without him knowing his sister was gay?

(How the hell did Sooyoung do it with her brother? She definitely wasn’t this big of a mess. Of course, the circumstances were different…)

Jinsol needed a glass of water to let herself buy some more time. What a perfect opportunity to disguise it as being a good hostess. “I’ll grab us something to drink. Coffee? Water? Tea?” she started towards the kitchen and opened up a cabinet to grab a glass for herself.

(How can I not screw this up for Sooyoung?)

[tenthgirl-deactivated20210307]