ⓛ ⓔ ⓐ ⓓ ⓔ ⓡ

[inabaleader]

deductune:

                “Sounds like what I would expect.” It comes as no surprise, really. If he’s already so carefree and goofy when at work ( in quite a serious profession, at that ) then naturally he would be so when away from the work desk. Naoto doesn’t really get it, how he can be like that. She’s come to know that not everything has to be so serious, sure, but should everything be so…silly? Perhaps there’s more to him than what meets the eye. 

                  There’s seriousness in her eyes when Souji says he worries and she glances up at him. Is it really that bad? “I like to think I have a good grasp on myself, senpai. But… Well. Should it ever come down to it, can I count on you to let me know when I’m doing too much?” She sighs harshly, hating to sound so dependent. Hating to need help, but if things get too wound up as they did before, she doesn’t need to go out being reckless again. It happens, despite her typical calm and cool demeanor. She wants something, she makes sure she gets it. And although her reckless stunt wielded her helpful results and a Persona, she could have so easily would up dead. “I can at the very least promise you that I won’t be running off to allow myself capture once again, of course.”

                   She distracts herself from the darker topic for a bit, grabbing the last bit of what they need for their little cooking session that’s to come. To think, they’ve held such a conversation while grocery shopping. It’s one of the most mundane things to do, and yet Souji makes even that interesting. Come to think of it, she’s actually getting hungry seeing all this stuff in the shopping cart. The sooner they start cooking, the better!

                   The deep topics again? She’s no stranger to them, and certainly doesn’t shy away. “You’re correct, though. There is such a thing as growing up too fast and I believe that’s been a case with myself. I think that children that lose a parent, especially both, are more prone to it. Nanako-chan at least has you around the house, though. I think perhaps that might stunt the quicker paced growth spurt.” But, this is more about herself, isn’t it? Nanako isn’t here to express that concern to – Naoto is. “I haven’t really gotten a chance to have friends my age until now, really. I’m…inept at making friends or finding common ground with my peers. But you and the others, senpai… I feel as though it all happened so naturally, once we got to know each other.” Perhaps she just went about it all wrong these years. “Don’t act irresponsible, hm?” she asks with a grin. “Well, I am spending time with you right now instead of Yosuke-senpai. I think that’s a step in the right direction.” 

“Of course. If I think you’re working yourself too hard, I’ll tell you. Maybe that’s why I asked you out of everyone else to come home and help me make dinner. And, well, sort of stay and relax a bit while you can. Everyone has their duties and all that, but you seem to work the most out of all of us when it comes to the case, so it should be a good breather for you.”

Once they had actually gathered everything they needed, he was also finding it difficult to stop thinking about what it would all be turned into. He hadn’t really eaten much since lunch time in school, and he could feel his stomach starting to growl because of it. That in mind, he made sure to get to the cash as quick as he could so they could have everything rung up and paid for before grabbing a couple bags in each hand and just praying he didn’t forget anything when they could finally start to leave.

“I’ll make sure Nanako doesn’t grow up faster than she needs to. I know there are kids who normally have to stay home alone because of having busy parents, so they adapt more and learn to clean and cook earlier than some other kids who have things done for them by their parents, especially if one stays at home quite often.” Which, on a personal level, he could relate, since his own parents were rather busy individuals in the city and he had to learn things that Nanako did at her age when he was that age as well, and it explained why he was such a good cook.

“...was that supposed to insult Yosuke? You’re lucky he isn’t here to hear something like that, Naoto. But don’t worry. I’m not going to tell him. Besides, I already took a dug at the other girls earlier about their cooking, so now we’re even.”

He chuckled as his feet started to pace a little as he walked now, gripping the bags at his sides as he watched the ground as he moved. He was wondering if Dojima would even be back tonight or not, and was always more concerned about how Nanako was going to react if he didn’t. He hated seeing her disappointed. As much as he could do to make her happy in place of her father, there were some things he couldn’t replace.

“I’m sure Nanako will be happy to see you, like I said. I just want to make sure she doesn’t stop smiling any time soon. I don’t like seeing her so upset when Dojima-san makes promises and then can’t keep them. Ah...sorry, I was sort of thinking more to myself about that just now.”

[inabaleader]

goofyfacade:

He used this time to grab himself a slice of pizza, if the kid was offering he may as well have taken one. Adachi sat back in his spot, leaving some space between both of them.

“Now you’re getting it.” he was satisfied with Souji’s answer, although he wouldn’t be surprised if he was being sarcastic about it. 

Adachi took a few bites from the pizza, setting it down when he Souji gave an interesting response. Was Souji really capable of killing anyone? The kid always seemed to have a good heart, but what did he know now? Souji sure as hell surprised him when he decided to side with him and go against his friends. 

“Kill me? Do you even have it in you, Souji-kun? “ He seemed to be smiling amused at the notion of an angry Souji trying to kill him because of Nanako. At least Adachi still knew a very clear weak point for him, but if he was being honest, he probably wouldn’t ever really hurt Nanako. 

“Tch – I could care less what your uncle thinks of me. Just because we spend time together doesn’t mean that I like him. It’s just a job, you know.”  he waved his hand, he became so used to acting apathetic that he often forget about the people he really did care about not that he was ever going to admit any of that. 

The question of physical contact shouldn’t have been so surprising to him, especially seeing the distance between them. It was true he didn’t particularly care for it, but what would you expect from a man who never had much affection shown to him as a child? Physical contact made him very uncomfortable and Adachi would like to avoid it by any means necessary. 

“I don’t like being touched and I don’t like to touch other people. I don’t really understand what you want from me, Souji-kun? Is it affection? Sorry, but maybe you should ask your friend… That Junes kid. He always seems like he craves your attention.” 

Souji took another bite from his pizza as he thought about that question for a moment. He hadn’t really killed anyone before, minus some shadows. He didn’t think those even counted as people since they weren’t, but he didn’t have to worry about ever going into the TV world again since everything with that was..over. And because of him.

“...I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you on it if you ever try anything, though.” He didn’t think he could be considered bluffing that much, but killing Adachi wasn’t something he especially had on his list of things to do. He didn’t really have a lot he wanted to do, as it were. He was a little content right now, wallowing in his own despair with the man he chose to comply with.

“Just a job, huh. I’m sure he considers you a partner he can trust, and a friend he can confide in. You really don’t care? That’s a bit cold, Adachi. Then again, I guess as far as I’m concerned, I’m not much better when it comes to my ‘friends’ either.” After he basically tossed them all away to be here now.

His eyes shifted when he got a response to his last question, finding something about it a little surprising honestly considering what sort of nasty deeds Adachi would do to women.

“You don’t like touching people? But you touched all those women before you pushed them down or forced them into the TV. Surely you wanted them to touch you too. Unless you just don’t like men, that is. But, no. I don’t want affection. Do I look like that type? If I wanted any sort of physical contact, I’d want it rough or hard. And don’t bring Yosuke into this. It’s weird. I don’t have any interest in him like that.” Not anymore.

[inabaleader]

hananura:

❝ I don’t belieeeve you~ ❞

His sing-song tone suggested otherwise, lips curling in a smile when Souji pulled back slightly, though Yosuke moves to connect their hands again– putting his handso n Souji’s hips would probably be weird right now. 

❝ Eeeh? Souji’s homemade snacks? Dude, count me in! ❞

Even if he’d had a full meal at the bar, there was no way he’d say no to Souji’s cooking. Even if it was just snacks– Souji probably had something stupidly elegant tucked away as a quick fix somewhere in the files of his brain, he bet. 

❝ Ah–  ❞

He pauses at that, though, putting more thought into this reply. Technically, there were three options, with Yosuke taking the couch and giving Souji his bed, but… He had a feeling that even if they shared a bed, the most they would do is cuddle. So… 

❝ … we can share if it’s cool with you. ❞

“I figured you wouldn’t say no to that.” He slowly pulled himself away from the other, even though he hadn’t wanted to, and moved further into the kitchen so he could open the fridge and dig out some things he’d need to make gyoza. He had sort of a craving for it, and it was technically almost snack food as it was. It was just preparing the insides, folding it, and then cooking it all.

“I’m going to make gyoza. I haven’t had any since I was...well, it actually has been a long time.” He didn’t exactly go out to eat too often since he was a good enough cook to just make meals at home when ever he was here and not buying food at the school sometimes.

Eyes looked back toward Yosuke when he started to prepare things, smiling when he agreed to sharing the bed and not taking the couch. He was almost hoping he would, anyway. He’d probably end up insisting on it otherwise.

“..good. I’m just glad you’re staying here as it is.” His hands stopped working for a moment when he thought about just how glad he was that Yosuke had come back into his life like this at such a thing.

“....I really missed you, Yosuke.”

[inabaleader]

//b l e s s replies are all queue’d. I accomplished a lot of writing today.

[inabaleader]

//sorry for some inactivity. been taking a bit of a tumblr break on both here and akira and i know i have a few drafts so i’ll get to them sometime within the week o/

[inabaleader]

Yosuke needs a hug. So he's going to go ahead and take one if it's okay.

@hananura

Better yet, Souji pulls him in for a hug first and even presses his lips to his cheek.

“..you seem like you want some attention tonight.”

[inabaleader]

"Partner! Can we look at cats?"

“..looking at cats is a serious matter that needs to be done cautious and from a distance.

..unless you know the cat, in which case..get up close and hope it lets you pat it.”

[inabaleader]

hananura:

He can’t help but chuckle at the response about his cat– He knew he’d been asking too much when he’d said it, anyway. Still– he finds himself sighing into the kiss, cheeks flushing under Souji’s warm hands, and he can’t help the surprised noise he makes when he feels how deep Souji really wants to kiss him. 

He’s not about to turn it down, obviously– eyebrows raise slightly as his eyes flutter to catch a glimpse of the look on Souji’s face, but he easily melts when he feels himself pressed against a wall. He makes a low, soft noise at the feeling of Souji almost pinning him, even though he’s almost certain that’s not what Souji’s going to do at all, though– he wouldn’t mind if he did. 

He’ll linger in the kiss for just a little longer, though– he has to pull away and suck in a soft gasp, hands finally doing something and settling on Souji’s hips as half-lidded eyes look up at the taller male. 

❝ – you have to have practiced  that. It was way too good. ❞

After he had been pulled back from, he took in a few breaths himself, cheeks flushed as he let his forehead rest against Yosuke’s own, realizing now that he had almost pushed the guy into the wall behind him. Maybe he got a little carried away, but he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his lips from staring at him, knowing he liked what he had done.

“Practiced? On who? There’s no one I could have practiced this with. I already told you I hadn’t dated anyone since high school and onward, so..I sort of..just went with it, I guess.” It honestly felt more natural to him than even getting a Persona at the time, if it could be comparable at all.

Though, he was a little embarrassed over it, so he stepped back just a little to give Yosuke some room without moving back too far so his legs would leave their place on him. He felt..oddly comfortable like that.

“This is..a weird question right now, but do you want a snack or something? Also..since..you’re staying the night, we have two options. You can use the bed, and I can sleep on the couch, or..we could share the bed. It’s up to you.”

[inabaleader]

hananura replied to your post: //souji muse has been threatening to push itself...

good bc Yoosk is needy

//he’s literally going to kill souji one day

my poor boy just

‘how hardcore is yosuke anyways wtf happened within those 3 or so years i--’

[inabaleader]

//souji muse has been threatening to push itself to the front of the list over akira lately, even if i’m not on here often

[inabaleader]

hananura:

❝ Nah, dude, I’m definitely staying over. Even if I’m not really drunk anymore,  I’d           rather stay here than go home. ❞

The last train’s come and gone by now anyway, and he loves the idea of getting to show Souji where he’s living– not to mention the thought of sleeping over took him back to the few times he’d slept over at the Dojima house when Souji was still in Inaba.

❝ Just don’t go spoiling him, he already thinks he’s a king. ❞

Souji probably will anyway. He still smiles when he feels Souji lean on him, finding himself tuck himself against the taller male, hands slowly untangling themselves from Souji’s and reaching around to hug him, a soft, content sigh escaping from how cozy he feels being so close to him.

❝ …Mm, then I guess one more won’t hurt. ❞

Hopefully. 

Part of him wonders, however, if Souji’s the type of person who’s secretly really dirty, and his ‘holding back’ was words for something a little more intense than what Yosuke might be ready for– 

Idiot. This is Souji he’s thinking about. 

So before he can let himself think about it further, he shifts, turning his head to the side and nudging for Souji to lift his again, pressing their lips together as soon as he’s close enough to do so. 

“Alright..that makes me feel better.” Knowing Yosuke also wanted to stay definitely put down some uneasiness he was feeling if he wanted to go home, so at least he could make sure to keep a proper eye on him if he were to fall over or something like that. Wait, if he was staying here, he wouldn’t be able to fit him inside his bed, would he? Maybe Souji could just sleep on the couch..

“Sorry, no can do about the cat. I already spoil all the strays outside, so yours is really no different.” What did he expect? Souji himself was basically a cat king, and it had actually been a really long time since he saw a stray cat in Shibuya he could play with as opposed to the country. That cat was getting spoiled whether Yosuke liked it or not.

The situation right now, on the other hand..

He hadn’t really expected him to go through with his request, if he could call it that, but the sudden nudge against his face and feeling the lips on his own was enough to make him unravel just a bit. Fingers unlaced from their hold so they could place themselves to Yosuke’s cheeks instead as the kiss was deepened almost right away, and he took a step forward to press the others back to the wall while he indulged himself in the moment, almost hoping he wouldn’t pull away from it too soon.

[inabaleader]

hananura:

He feels his cheeks go even darker when he sees Souji coming closer, and then– 

Souji kisses his cheek? 

Eyes are wide when Souji pulls away, mouth hanging open slightly– Did that just happen? 

Did Souji Seta, the most perfect guy in existence, just kiss his cheek? 

Him? Yosuke Hanamura? 

❝ –Am I dreaming? Did I like– pass out on your  couch as soon as we got here and this is a dream? ❞

Let’s do the pinch test–

❝ –Ouch! Okay, not dreaming. So you                      really kissed me. Holy crap. ❞

Is it obvious how much his face hurts from smiling so big and laughing?  Because he feels lighter than he has in a long time. Not only does Souji not hate him for not keeping in touch, but Souji likes him and kissed him on the cheek– 

❝ Dude– how’m I gonna sleep now? ‘m all giddy now– maybe I am still a little drunk, haha. So– shooould I take that as a yes? Can I have you over for dinner tomorrow? Or maybe to help me make something                          edible? I– snrk, I should stop. ❞

He reaches for Souji’s hands again instead, locking their hands together midair and smiling softly at him. 

❝ I don’t want to rush this and risk ruining it. So– let’s start slow. We can do something simple– though you’re already meeting my cat tomorrow– thaaaat                        might be moving too fast….  ❞

He’s obviously joking by the tone in his voice. 

“You don’t have to get too worked up about it, Yosuke. It was just a kiss on the cheek.” Although it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do, he figured he shouldn’t really push his luck too quickly.

“If you want to have me over tomorrow, then..I won’t say no. But I sort of want you to stay here for the night just so I can put my mind at ease in case you don’t sober up entirely and end up getting lost on your way back. That way, I can just walk home with you tomorrow and you can show me where you live so I know how to get there.” It was almost a perfect excuse to have him staying over, after all.

Now, the mention of the cat had him excited again. He really wanted to see that little thing and just play with it as long as he could.

“No, I think meeting the cat is just what I need right now. Don’t take that away from me.” His fingers squeezed back just a bit when they were gripped, and he ended up leaning himself forward so he could press his forehead to the others shoulder and rest himself there.

“To be honest..” His eyes closed after a moment as his hands squeezed a bit more firmly when he felt a sort of warmth spread across his chest. He was probably just as happy as Yosuke was without voicing it.

“..it’s..actually sort of difficult to hold myself back right now. I’ve been wanting to kiss you since high school, and I don’t think the one on the cheek was enough..”

[inabaleader]

deductune:

                  Sounds as though Adachi is quite a regular at the Dojima residence. She supposes it makes sense, seeing as he and Dojima-san are partners and all. Ah, but… Beer? That’s a sight she doesn’t wish to see. An inebriated Adachi… Doesn’t seem like he would be very good company. Perhaps even more forthcoming and goofy than his normal state, if she were to guess. That always puts her off about him, though. Can’t quite place a finger to it, but… It’s a strange attitude for a detective to have. Guess they come in all shapes and sizes, manners and personalities. 

                       “I suppose my view of the both of them is far different than yours. You get to know them in a smaller, more personal environment. I only know them through the police force, more serious matters.” Not that everything was 100% business at the station. People cut up and have their fun from time to time, though with the current circumstance, the situations are far and few in between. “Dojima-san is hard-working, a very dedicated man. I believe his thought process was, is rather, the closest to mine when it comes down to working on the case. I think he…might have been the only other person there that believed the real killer was still on the run after the arrest of Kubo. And Adachi…” 

                      There’s that feeling again, unplaced in her chest as to whether it’s bad or not. He was always either smiling or just tired. Yet she felt as though his eyes were on her at all times. Naoto concluded it must have been her age, as she’s accustomed to looks for that, but… No, maybe she was only imagining it. “He always seemed as though he missed out on a good night’s sleep or a decent meal.” She holds back her real thoughts, for now.

                       Souji having a bond with Adachi, despite their differences, doesn’t really surprise her. “No,” she answers, shaking her head. “If I may, senpai, you are just…that kind of person. It’s as if you have this aura about you. People are drawn to you. Adachi-san is no different here.” Easy to identify; she’s one of those people. “Besides, I can relate to having built more rapport with people beyond my years. I never really talked to peers before coming to Inaba and meeting you and the others on the team, after all. I can’t say I had friends per se, but most of my relationships were with people I held little common ground with aside from occupation and common goals in solving cases. Aha – but that’s nothing like this, I suppose. I’m sure you get this often, senpai, but you’re a very…caring person. I could stand to learn a thing or two from you.”

“I mean, the Adachi you tend to see on a daily basis at times is pretty much the same as the one I see at home, minus the..drunk part. He still has a pretty happy attitude. Sort of goofy..” But, Souji himself has seen Adachi with a more serious type of attitude. He had met him on more than one occasion out in the streets at night time, where their conversations had become pretty serious..and relatively dark even.

“You and Dojima-san have a lot of similarities, honestly. You’re both so focused on the case and try to find as much evidence as possible. You’re both hard working and don’t seem to ever want to sit down and take a break. Sometimes I worry about that..” Even though he was also trying to do as much as he could, what with school and having to make time to spend with the others.

He started to move a bit more through the store to pick out the foods and such things they would need for the meals, all the while listening to what Naoto had to say to him, and it made him smile a little bit when she mentioned how kind he was. It was the least he could do for the people around him he cared for.

“..thanks, Naoto. Honestly, I think..you could afford to have even more friends your age. Sometimes I think there’s a thing as growing up too fast. I look at Nanako and think that all the time. She’s very mature for her age, but I also don’t want her to miss out on all the things she can do as a child. Even right now..the same goes for you. You might work with a lot of these older people on the force, but..don’t forget who you are outside of it. It’s alright to just..lay back and act your age. I don’t mean to act irresponsible or anything, but don’t lose yourself within your work.”

[inabaleader]

generalkuma:

“And why should I answer those questions?!”

Once again assuming the General Teddie persona, the deity barked his response, greyed irises looking Souji up and down in a fashion similar to one who was… Unpresentable. And indeed, he truly felt ‘offended.’ Or… Did he? Was this CHILDISH FARCE just meant to irritate the other? Most likely. But that still didn’t change that more than half-hearted reply from what it was. 

A genuine inquiry.  

“ don’t get me wrong, but… Were you not listening to me, that night? I mean,  you weren’t… Were you… Surely knowing a certain something I mentioned  would answer one of your stupid… “ 

The ‘bear’ turned away in a huff, mumbling to himself. It was all staged, obviously. But truly evident that he had reasons to not take Souji seriously, there wasn’t a point in having a serious conversation if the other had no clue of what they were talking about.  Though… The other question… Perhaps, was something more worth his time.

“...As for ‘Why now?’ You tell me.”

“Sorry, it was sort of difficult to remember your words when you were screaming and crumbling into nothing.” That had been such a long time ago, and the fight was difficult enough to have to deal with not dying, let alone listening to him with that monotone voice of his.

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t answer them. It’s strange. Not to mention, you’re going to end up confusing my friends if they happen to see you and mistake you for Teddie. I don’t want any of them to freak out or wind up hurt.

As for ‘why now’..” He couldn’t even place his finger on that answer either, which was why he asked in the first place. Why was he supposed to be answering his own questions?

“Even if you don’t answer me, I can’t just leave and let you go to do whatever you want. I can’t trust that. You’ll be easily recognizable, but it’s still strange to see you like this instead of a giant heap of fire..

..now, answer my questions.”

[inabaleader]

hananura:

He can’t help how warm he feels when Souji’s hands take his– he’s going to blame the alcohol still messing with him if Souji asks why his face is red, and he’s practically staring at the other’s face the whole time he’s talking. 

❝ … I’m sorry I didn’ contact you when I got here– I let my pride get in the way of our friendship… that was dumb of me to do. And– I’m sorry for not keeping better contact in general, man. I still had the others, but… you went back                                          to being alone, didn’t you? ❞

Now it’s his turn to squeeze Souji’s hands, looking away– Souji admitting that he liked Yosuke was making his insides all fluttery. He really wanted to go on about feeling the same and maybe kiss him, but the properly functioning part of his brain was reminding him that that was not a good idea. He didn’t want to do something and blame doing it at all on the alcohol in the morning. He wanted to make sure everything he did was sincere– because that’s what their friendship’s built on, right? 

He pulls one hand away so he could scratch at his neck while he thinks– he keeps one hand holding Souji’s tighter, tapping one of his feet a few times as he pieces together what he wants to say.. 

❝ … I think I wouldn’t be feeling like this if I didn’t like you, though. I feel all… I dunno. Gushy? It’s a good feeling.  But I don’t want to say or do anything deciding right now.  ❞

 Really, he doesn’t feel very drunk at all now besides the dull oncoming headache and leftover bleariness– unfortunately thanks to his high metabolism, he doesn’t stay drunk for very long, so maybe it’s okay to say those likes of things after all– he definitely means them– he’s always had a soft spot for Souji. 

So he’ll take advantage of the fact Souji think he’s still tipsy to reach for the other’s cheek, easing Souji’s gaze back towards him. 

❝ –Um… even if I was mourning over Saki… I definitely felt drawn to you… even– even now, I feel kinda goofy inside, and I think I can… confidently say that it’s a good feeling and it’s focused on you. And I won’t try to avoid you anymore. So… I want to start hanging out with you more. So maybe what you’re feeling and what I’m feeling can– I dunno, maybe grow into– something….?                       Gah, that just sounds cheesy, I’m bad at this.  ❞

“I guess I was alone for a good portion of it. I tried to keep in contact with the others, but school made it difficult. Everyone else has things they needed to do, I’m sure.” Like Chie becoming an officer, Yukiko running her INN..

He was a little surprised since he was certain Yosuke was going to end up pulling away from him, but his eyes rose a bit when he felt him squeeze instead, much to his own happiness. And to think, Yosuke wasn’t rejecting him or anything like that, he almost thought he was imagining it. He had always been the one that was mostly worried of being rejected, but he never thought about how Yosuke would feel on his end if he ever told Souji. Though, he never thought Yosuke might have felt anything for him to begin with.

His head lifted up when it was turned toward him suddenly, and his eyes finally met the others features to see him smiling instead. His face was red at that too, and he couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed, or if he still had some of the alcohol in his system.

Of course, he had processed what he said, but somehow, his body wasn’t able to stand still after hearing it, and he found himself moving his hand away from the others grip so he could press both of them to his face like Yosuke did to him recently.

He had leaned himself in, though instead of diving for Yosuke’s lips, he let his own press to the side of his cheek softly, eyes closing while he did it as if it was the most natural thing he could do.

He almost wasn’t even aware of it, but it was something he probably wanted to do instead of hug him way back then. In fact, when he realized what he did, his cheeks turned red and he ended up moving himself away a little too quickly, hands tugging away from Yosuke’s face and staying there in mid air.

“S...sorry. I just...don’t know what suddenly made me do that..”

[inabaleader]

hananura:

❝ –Wait. ❞

That’s not at all what he’d meant– had he said it wrong? Stupid question. He’s Yosuke Hanamura. King of stupid. And now Souji’s upset– upset? Why is he upset, wasn’t this– didn’t he say he wouldn’t get angry?

❝ That is not what I meant, Souji. ❞

 He stands– well, wobbles, when Souji moves away from him, and he ants to follow him– wants to be close to him so he can comfort him and maybe actually explain something correctly for once in his life. 

❝ I didn’t say that I didn’t like you. And I didn’t say I used anyone. I haven’t exactly dated anyone                  since I’d moved to Inaba, Souji. ❞

Now he moves– stumbles forward a bit, thankful he’d left his drink on the table, and finds himself standing a little too close to the other– it’s fine, Souji’s never minded him being like this before. And– the fact Souji was so upset meant he’d been hoping for a yes, right? So that means Souji has to have some sort of feelings for him. 

❝ Now you’re puttin’ words in my mouth. I– all I was sayin’ is that ‘m glad I didn’t let myself do somethin’ that had the potential of hurtin’ you. Not jus’ because I’d held on to my feelings for Saki, but– also ’cos I’ve had time to        process how I felt about you once I’d moved on. ❞

❝ – An’ I’m not sayin’ I want to date you and be a serious couple right now, either. We haven’t seen each other in ages  ‘cos of me, n’ if you think you like me, I’d rather you be sure  of how you feel before you go and say that you do.      – Ugh, that probably didn’t make sense. I’m– tryin’ not to sound like an ass, and I think i’m doin’ a shitty job, sorry… ❞

Dammit. He was seriously acting like a child right now. He knew better then to act this way in front of someone who was supposed to be his best friend. Maybe being back in the city was starting to get to him after so long. He wasn’t used to letting everything all loose since he was a little more reserved back in Inaba.

He held a hand up so he could stop Yosuke from carrying on, and there was a lot he had wanted to say right not regarding that whole thing. It was as if everything was trying to catch up to him so quickly over the past couple years they were separated, and he didn’t know how to keep it together.

“Sorry..I’m just..” He couldn’t even look at him right now, and he wondered what all Yosuke had even been doing since he came to the city, who he’s been seeing even though he said..

It was selfish to think those things. Nothing had even happened between them.

“That’s not it, Yosuke. I can’t push you for that right now, especially since I haven’t seen you in a long time up until now. I...haven’t really dated anyone when I came back to the city. After we dealt with Adachi...-san, I thought I would have some time to talk to you about some things, and it just..never happened, because I went back home too quickly. I didn’t have the nerve to ask you anything or bring it up, and I didn’t want to rush myself in explaining it. I wanted to spend time with everyone, so..” He wasn’t even getting to the point, which was exactly his problem he had years ago.

“I was sure I felt something for you. I knew I did. During that time at the riverbank, I was almost scared because of what I was feeling, and I tried to ignore it. That’s why I never asked you and I always put off the things you would say that seemed even the slightest bit convincing. I didn’t believe in myself. If I had been wrong, and ruined our friendship back then, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself. I didn’t think you were done mourning Saki, so I..couldn’t.”

He sighed and unfolded his arms, turning now and reaching for Yosuke’s hands to grip gently into his own in case he wanted to pull away.

“I’ve been thinking about it for the couple of years I’ve been out here. I always wanted to call or contact you, but..I kept putting it off. I was busy with school, and I didn’t know if you would be too, and talking about it over the phone worried me as well. It was something I wanted to do face to face, but I couldn’t just ask you to come to the city, and doing it in Inaba..I felt like I would ruin things if I did it there, considering all the memories we had. I didn’t want to ruin it. Any of it. But now..” Fingers squeezed just a bit now as he swallowed and tried to think of how to word this. Maybe he had to be blunt.

“It’s not a matter of ‘if’ or ‘think’. I do like you, Yosuke. I always have. I was just never able to say anything. But more than that, I just..want you to be sure of yourself on whatever you do and to be happy with it.”

[inabaleader]

hananura:

❝  – t’see what it’d be like, y-yeah… ❞

Well, at least Souji didn’t seem to think he was disgusting or anything. 

–But the idea of being quizzed by someone that was supposed to be his best friend had him swallowing his next gulp of tea hard. The fact that Souji was taking it so seriously was also making him uneasy– something about Yosuke had been bothering him in high school? 

And then he feels his cheeks flush dark, because it feels like he’s being called out, despite the fact he’s had the time to figure out the answer to that question. 

❝ I don’ know. –Well, I especially didn’t know back then. I– didn’t really understand that the stuff I was doin’ was kinda… you know. An’ now that I do… I kinda prefer    the thought of bein’ close to a guy like that. So–  ❞

He’s twiddling his thumbs– since when was that something he even did? – and looking down at his tea. How does he want to word this? 

❝ … If I did– and I might have – I’m glad       neither of us did anything about it. ❞

He pauses– maybe for too long? Crap, he doesn’t know what he’s doing after all. 

❝ –B-because I think I would have been unintentionally pushing my feelings for Saki onto you if we did. And you deserve better  than that. You deserve someone who likes you for you, not someone                         who ends up being with you to rebound off of. ❞

That was almost not the response he was wanting to hear.

Wanting? He wasn’t even sure right now, but something about that made part of his mood go sour.

“So you wouldn’t have liked me for who I am, and you would have just been using me. I wonder if you did that already to someone else or I’m just the exception of not being used.”

He reached for his tea again and took a larger sip from it, before getting himself up and moving toward the small kitchen area and leaned against the wall frame there that separated the two rooms, turning his head to look at the small window over the sink and folded his arms against his chest.

He hated that his emotions were running a little high, but he was always an emotional person. He just thought they would have calmed down after high school.

“So, any guy is fine so long as it isn’t me.”

The worst part about it all was that he hadn’t even fully sorted his own issues out with how he was back in high school, because once he moved back to the city, what all was there that he could even do?