Humorous Quotes Erroneously Attributed to Baldur's Gate

Current mod is @imsopopfly, old mod is @sensitiveluigi. Please feel free to submit posts. We accept posts with characters from any Baldur's Gate-related media. This includes Dark Alliance - though the mod has not played enough of those to make those posts themselves, we will still accept Dark Alliance submissions. We do NOT accept any submissions containing NPCs added by mods. This decision was come to by popular vote.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Imoen: Have you made any New Year's resolutions, Xan?

Xan: Yes. You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Xan: Here’s to a lousy Christmas, and a crappy New Year!

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Voghiln, singing: Four call girls,

Three French maids,

Two drunk twins,

And a lap dance in a pear treeeeee!

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

I think I finished your acount, I liked it very much, I'm autistic for the record, and the lack of jaheria content saddens me, so these quotes were fire, I never played bg1 and bg2 (5 mins in bg2 but rage quit) but lowkey from your blog i quite like immoen and khalid and xan, asumming charname is durge or tav

Aw thanks! There will be new posts eventually, I’m on hiatus building up the queue but have been busy with work and studying for the bar exam!

Also no Charname isn’t Durge or Tav, they’re the main character of the first two games (and is a create your own character deal similar to Durge and Tav) Though some people I know HAVE thrown their Charname into bg3 as a Durge or Tav. But like, you know the Bhaalspawn Jaheira tells you in bg3 she used to travel with back in the day? That’s Charname.

Oh yes, also for the record in case you only know BG3, when we talk about Xan here we are talking about the Baldur’s Gate 1 character with that name, not Lae’zel’s kid.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Xan: I signal my contempt for your cruel plan to shove Christmas joy down my throat by making a gesture that says, “Get a load of this guy…”

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Xzar, to Jaheira: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

"Scrooge isn't special, I too have been ghosted thrice in one night."

-Coran, probably

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Shadowheart: Trick or treat.

Halsin: Here you go!

Shadowheart: Is this...trail mix?

Halsin: Yes.

Shadowheart: ...

Shadowheart: ...Get the eggs, Karlach.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Jaheira: What is everyone going to be for Halloween?

Minsc: I’m Superman!

Haer’dalis: A clown.

Jaheira: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Voghiln: I don't really date. I would call it a series of mind blowing sexual experiences with a lot of beautiful women.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Safana: What do I always say?

Charname: Bitches get shit done.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

(The squad is in a graveyard)

Alora: Don't be negative! There's nothing to be scared of in the world!

Xan: Nothing to be scared of? There's the never-ending, icy cold, soul-sucking darkness of the undead.

Alora, in a sing song voice: I hear negative!

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

"A little bit of me has died, but you know what? A lot of me doesn't give a shit."

-Charname, after losing their soul

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Charname, about Sarevok: Can you imagine having to sit next to a person who has explicitly tried to kill you?

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Sarevok: I mean, I went through some stuff.

Imoen: You mean death?

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Charname: Faldorn, what's your advice on outlasting your enemies?

Faldorn: Focus on outpacing them. And let the wolves take care of the rest.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Charname: What are you after?

Ajantis: Justice.