Who You Gonna Call?

submissions: open

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Egon: (wearing a suit) See you tomorrow. Peter: ...where are you going dressed like that? Ray: And why are you taking the mood slime? Egon: (straightens tie) It's date night.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Janine: Smart guys are so attractive, tell me a fact I don't know.

Egon: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Janine: Never mind.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Ray: I’m the kind of person who likes to think things through.

Egon: I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter: Hey, can I borrow 30 bucks? I gotta pay a cab driver.

Winston: A cab from your apartment to here doesn’t cost $30.

Peter: It does if you make the guy stop and buy you a breakfast burrito.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter, to Dana: Don't cry. Sometimes bad things happen to people with nice tits.

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Peter: I don’t think we can mansplain manipulate manwhore ourselves out of this one, boys.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter: Sucking your own dick probably feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.

Winston: It is 3am Peter please go to sleep.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Egon: It takes a plastic bag 20-100 years to break down, yet it takes me approximately one minor inconvenience.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Police officer: Excuse me, who is in charge here?

Peter: Usually it's whoever yells the loudest.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Ray: In Scooby Doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves and stuff.

Winston: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in an episode of Scooby Doo?

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Peter: I want to see my little boy

Ray, holding Slimer: Here he comes

Peter: I want to see my little boy

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter: Why is Ray asleep on your shoulder?

Egon: Why?

Peter: Just an hour ago you were complaining that humans were disgusting.

Egon: Opinions change.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Egon: The eagles won last night.

Winston: Oh, you watched the game?

Egon, covered in scratches: What game?

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter: What do you crave more than anything else?

Ray: Stability.

Winston: Peace of mind.

Egon: Limited edition cotton candy twinkies.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Peter, taping a knife to a roomba: Be free, my child.

Winston, seconds later: WHAT THE FUCK.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Ray, parking the ecto: Can you guys get a table?

Peter and Winston: sure

*two minutes later*

Peter and Winston, sprinting out of the restaurant, carrying a table: START THE CAR.

[incorrect-ghostbusters-quotes]

Ray: Z, keep an eye on Venkman today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Winston: Sure, I’d love to see Peter get punched.

Ray: Try again.

Winston, sighing: I will stop Peter from getting punched.