Incorrect Leviathan Quotes

Things that would have/could have/should have been said in canon. Send in submissions through the asks, and be sure to credit the source.

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“Alek, I'm trying to be mature and not immediately shoot down your idea, but it sounds really terrible.”

Deryn Sharp

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Deryn, holding up Bovril: Stinky

Alek: No! Don’t be mean!

Deryn, swaying Bovril back and forth: Stinky Bastard Man

Alek: Noooo!

Dr. Barlow: Naughty creature.

Alek, distraught: NOOOOO!

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Alek: Hello there. I’m Alek. I’m the heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary.

Lilit: Hi, Adam.

Alek: …it’s Alek.

Lilit: It’s not important, it won’t come up again.

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Deryn: Dr. Barlow, what’s your status?

Dr. Barlow: My status, Mr. Sharp, is extremely annoyed.

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[During Goliath, on the spine during the hurricane]

Alek: I'm not one to complain, but can't the Leviathan fly any higher?

Deryn: I’ve got an idea, why don’t we all get on YOUR back and YOU can fly us to New York?

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Lilit: Aren't you cold?

Alek: I've got a lot on my mind. It's been so long - over three months since I was home - I wonder what's changed. I wonder how I've changed.

Lilit: ...I just asked you if you were cold. I didn't ask for your life story.

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“Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who lie about their identities?”

-Deryn Sharp

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“I brought you a big ol’ pan of smarmy”

— Eddie Malone

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Deryn: You’ve been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?

Dr. Barlow: Absolutely ridiculous, I don’t paint.

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Volger: Alek, I never doubted you for a moment!

Alek: Thank you, Count. You’re lying though, right?

Volger: Yes. I doubted you very strongly.

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I don’t like to use the term triple threat because it suggests that I’m limited to only three skills.

Deryn

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“I am slowly, ever so slowly, beginning to like you, so please don’t fuck it up.”

— Volger (to Deryn)

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Volger: I thought I told you not to make this worse.

Alek: And I heard you loud and clear.

Volger: But then you made it worse!

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Tesla: I’ll let you peruse my vast collection on one condition. To prove your worth as scholars, you have to contribute some worthwhile knowledge.

Barlow, offering a thick book: Please accept this tome as a donation to your library.

Tesla: First edition, very nice.

Alek: I have an authentic Austrian walker manual.

Tesla: Ooh, these illustrations are quite stylish.

Lilit: Uh, oh, I know!

Lilit, pulling a scroll from her shirt and presenting it, revealing it to be a wanted poster with her face on it: Ha!

Tesla: I suppose that counts.

Deryn: Check this out.

Deryn, quickly tying the string into a fancy knot and holding it out: Ta da!

Tesla:

Deryn:

Tesla:

Deryn: It’s a special knot! That counts as knowledge!

Tesla: You’re not very bright, are you?

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Deryn: Whoa, he’s being a little…

Dr. Barlow: Obstreperous? Recalcitrant? Truculent?

Deryn: I was gonna say “cray-cray.”

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[After spending the whole night building Tesla’s machine]

Alek: Aww the sun’s coming up, we've gone all night without sleep.

Deryn: Alek, we'll be ok.

Alek: Are you sure?? I've never not slept before, what if I fall asleep now and something happens...AND SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS!

[cue Russian fighting bears]

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Volger: How do you want your coffee?

Alek: As dark and bitter as my soul.

Volger: One vanilla latte with extra sugar and cream coming right up.