WHAT YOU GET IS WHAT YOU SEE

NO MORE MAYBE ITS MAYBELLINE

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mads and i have declared this a discourse blog

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2 nb lesbians looking for love hmu

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Benny: You guys are just jealous because all of my friends that know me tell me that I remind them of Beyonce

Erica: Beyonce sweetie I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry that a ugly ass bitch like this would even say that

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Rory: Ethan, are you gay?

Ethan: Bi, Rory.

Rory: Oh, sorry, touchy subject. I'll leave you alone then.

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Rory: hi do you take walk ins

The morgue: what

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Benny: do you have any pets?

Rory: *remembers people like sensitive guys* a cat

Benny: what's his name?

Rory: *remembers people also like tough guys* missile launcher

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Benny: Anybody under 5'7 can't talk about fighting someone. Like, what are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the nipples?

Jane: Say goodbye to you kneecaps, asshole.

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Some people give off a vibe of… right away they’re like ‘Do not fuck with me.’ My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour hot soup on my lap and I’D probably apologize to YOU!

Ethan Morgan, probably

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Ethan: Bad News - Grandma Weir locked the keys inside the house.

Ethan: Good News - We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Ethan: Bad News - Grandma Weir finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute boys.

Ethan: Good News - A cute boy saw me do it.

Ethan: Bad News - It was Benny, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. He knows

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Benny: Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking

-later-

Benny: Erica, can I talk to you, one ten to another?

Erica: I'm an eleven, but continue

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Rory: Thanks, Er! Can I call you Er?

Erica: ha ha ha ha! No, Rory! By no means!

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Ethan: Benny, you're a great friend.

Benny: Aaww! Dude, I'm your only friend.

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Erica: Don’t worry, Rory! Everyone’s afraid of something!

Rory: Even you, Erica?

Erica: No.

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Sarah: You two seem kind of out of it today. What did you eat for breakfast?

Ethan: Don’t be silly, what I ate this morning has nothing to do with my current state.

Sarah: Rory, what was your breakfast?

Rory: M&M cereal.

Sarah: Oh god, you see! That’s what I mean, I didn’t even know M&Ms made a cereal!

Rory: They don’t, it’s just M&Ms in a bowl with milk.

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[playing truth or dare]

Erica: Sarah, truth or dare?

Sarah: Dare.

Erica: Okay, I dare you to kiss the prettiest boy in the room on the lips. And notice I charitably said "boy" and not "person" because let's face it, I'd smoke all you bitches.

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Benny: If I run and jump at Ethan, he will almost definitely catch me.

Benny: *runs at Ethan*

Ethan: BENNY NO I'M HOLDING COFFEE-

Ethan: *drops coffee to catch Benny*