They Wouldn’t Say That! (Or Would They?)

Regretevator incorrect quotes blog | Not affiliated with Axosun

[incorrect-regretequotes]

hello, Mod Bive (aka @prismaticstarshch) here lol

I made this because I didn’t see an already-existing incorrect quotes blog and figured that Someone Had To Do It™️

basic rules:

respect basic DNI

no NSFW quotes

no quotes involving disturbing/triggering topics

incorrect quotes involving shipping (including cross-shipping, polycules, rarepairs, etc.) are allowed as long as the ships involved aren’t problematic; please do respect all of the characters' canon romantic orientations/sexualities though

OCs are allowed

have fun dbdhbdhd

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Poob: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!

Griefer: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?

Poob: What? No! What has Pest been telling you?

Pest, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, Poob.

LOL

Oh yes

Yes, yes, yes

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Poob: Fight me!

Pest, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

What would a fight w/ Poob even look like anyways

I can only imagine that it'd be something completely harmless and lighthearted (/silly)

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Split: INFECTED!! DID YOU HEAR!?!? PEST'S MARRIED TO POOB!!!

Infected: What-

(I don't know how to do the speaking quirk I'm sorry 😭😭)

Here's the Wikipedia article for leetspeak for some guidance:

Leet - Wikipedia

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Pest: Why is everyone so shocked about my marriage to Poob?

Mark: Lad...

Split: YOU HATED THEM?? WHY WOULDN'T WE BE SHOCKED????

Yeah, Split has a point 😭

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Pest: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem...Maybe not Poob's though

We know what you are Pest (/silly)

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Poob: I got married!!!

Bive: IN VEGAS!? THE BIRDS ARE GOVERNMENT SPYS!

Poob: ...Wut-

Oh that's the PERFECT accompaniment to the last one LMAO

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Pest: I miss my wife...

Split: Wait, you have a wife-

Pest: Poob. Did Poob not tell you??

Split: NO???? WHEN DID YOU STOP HATING THEM??

I'm also surprised that Poob wouldn't have told Split 😭

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Pest: If you see me talking to myself, go away! I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting!

Yeah that sounds about right (/silly)

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Poob: Can I get a waffle?

Pest and Griefer: *fighting and yelling at each other*

Poob: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

Wonder how a fight would be instigated between those two...

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Pest: You know, people treat me like a god.

Griefer: How?

Pest: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

(The inconspicuous creature named Poob that bothers Pest whenever even when they don't need anything)

Poor Pest 😭

Also yeah Poob would bother him repeatedly

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Pest: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture."

Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

Oh someone should absolutely draw this lmao

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Poob: You have to apologize to them, Pest.

Pest: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Oh yeah Pest absolutely would be reluctant to apologize (and Poob absolutely would encourage him to apologize)

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Pest on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Pest on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

(Stupid kleptomaniac beetle /affectionate)

Oh how I relate to having that sort of memory (/silly)

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Poob: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

if only they could be able to have that privilege...

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Poob: If I run and leap at Pest, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Poob, running towards Pest: Coming in!

Pest: No! I’m holding coffee!

Pest: *Drops coffee and catches Poob*

Oh they absolutely would do that, I can see it

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Pest, about Poob: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier.

Griefer: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

"That's what any god probably thinks about me" 😭