the femur is the tastiest bone @incorrect-trauma-team - Tumblr Blog

Darnell: You have somewhat of a difficult personality as well.

Maria: Who, me? I’m a goddamn delight! I should punch you in the Adam's apple for saying that!

Gabe: What do posh people wear?

Maria: Crowns?

Gabe: I'm asking the wrong person.

Maria: Yeah, yeah.

Darnell: WILL YOU BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE!?

Maria: [checks watch]

Maria: Thirty seconds is my limit.

Maria: It’s like riding a bike.

Maria: ...Or severe childhood trauma...

Maria: You never really lose it.

Gabe: I'm trying to be all nonchalant here.

Maria: Why? Be as chalant as you like.

Maria: They don't give out medals for "almost."

Hank: Yes, they do! They're called "silver."

Claire: I found ingredients for cooking. Chestnuts, spices, bananas, garlic, frogs, and rats.

Gabe: Alright, just put them all in the pot.

Hank: Wait! Some of those aren't exactly food!

Gabe: Oh I'm sorry, you don't like garlic?

Hank: That's not what I meant!

Maria: I used to play catch with my parents, except the ball would just hit the wall because they weren't there.

Maria: I'm glad I'm dating a smart woman and not some slacker who would try to make me feel better by baking me a cake.

Naomi: You want me to bake you a cake?

Maria: Yes please. Chocolate with cream cheese frosting.

Gabe: Oh, I see. You think you’re cute.

Maria: Actually, I think I’m just so-so, but I’ve decided to carry myself like I’m cute.

Maria: Five years ago, I was a fucking mess.

Maria: Now, I’m a fucking mess but with at peace with it and with a cooler fashion sense.

Gabe: Since when are you so calm and rational?

Maria: I’M ALWAYS CALM AND RATIONAL!

Tomoe: I can't be dying here...

Tomoe: I have a book due at the library Monday morning!

Maria: Why are you stacking the bread like that?

Gabe: [with three pieces of bread stacked on top of each other] It's a bread sandwich.

Maria: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say.

Esha: You should say something else.

Tomoe: Shopping is always so fun. It's a great stress reliever.

Maria: I feel as though losing money would increase my stress, not ease it.

Darnell: You're a very emotional person.

Maria: [very emotionally] I am NOT.

the femur is the tastiest bone