Zach: have you seen Eugene?
Ned: He drank four energy drinks in one sitting and thought the humming birds outside were talking shit about him.
Eugene: *muffled screaming* WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME-
AnasAbdin
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@theartofmadeline
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@incorrect-tryguys-quotes
Zach: have you seen Eugene?
Ned: He drank four energy drinks in one sitting and thought the humming birds outside were talking shit about him.
Eugene: *muffled screaming* WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME-
Eugene gets me
Eugene: this Christmas I’ve decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket.
Eugene: so all the people I don’t like can kiss my ass.
Keith: here’s a fun Christmas idea;
Hang a mistletoe , but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever is under it.
Eugene: mistlefoe.
Zach: SOMEONE’S HALLS ARE GETTING DECKED.
Eugene: Marry me, Matt.
Eugene: Merry Christmas, Matt*. Sorry autocorrect.
Matthew: this is a verbal conversation.
Eugene: Brittany Speares was right; my loneliness is killing me.
Ned: could you be anymore dramatic
Eugene: is that a challenge?
Ned:
Zach: why do you guys look so sad?
Ned: sit down with us , and we will tell you.
Zach: *sits on the bench next to them*
Keith: the bench is freshly painted.
Stranger: can I have your number?
Eugene: *while visibly texting* I don’t have a phone.
REBLOG IF
Your ask box is 24/7 available for those who feel sad or need a friendly advice
Zach: Being cute is really hard because even when you’re angry, people just kinda giggle at you and say “aw you’re so cute when you’re angry” like, no. Stop. Recognize my power.
Ned: how did none of you hear what I just said?
Keith: I zoned out 2 and a half hours ago.
Zach: I got distracted halfway through.
Eugene: ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Zach: short jokes have never been funny, nor will they ever be.
Keith: yeah, agreed. I can’t believe they’d stop so low.
Zach:
Zach: you fucking asshole-
Zach: No offense, but a waiter could literally murder me and I'd still tip 20%.
Eugene: I would actually tip more. That’s great customer service.
Petition that every time we talk about Ned doing something, we start it with “Florida man”
Florida man wears unicorn hat and dances naked to make his friend sit on a lap.
I’ll never be able to write Keith’s last name correctly without looking it up.
Ned: finally got Eugene to go see a therapist.
Keith: how did it go?
Ned: his therapist had to call a therapist.