daddy: are you high?
daya: what?
daddy: high?
daya: hello.
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@incorrectdaddynara
daddy: are you high?
daya: what?
daddy: high?
daya: hello.
daddy: i think my instincts about people are way better than yours.
daya: why do you say that?
daddy: well, you picked me, but i picked you.
daddy: Got called gay in the cafeteria the other day.
daya: What happened?
daddy: got called gay in the cafeteria.
daya: yeah, but why?
daddy: I was being gay.
daya: in the cafeteria?
daddy: yeah, it was in the cafeteria.
hellman: why is daddy on the table
daya: she likes to be tall
daya: daddy, I'm hungry
daddy: hi hungry, I'm daddy
daya: did you just make a dad joke
daddy: yes and I'm not sorry
adeola: is there a word that's a mix between sad and mad?
daddy: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
daya: smad
daya: I crave both death and cheetos
daddy: and you're getting neither
lorna: hi daya, I like your top!
daddy: I have a name
lorna: oh my god
daddy: i like your pants
daya: thanks, they were 50% off
daddy: i'd like them 100% off
daya: what kind of commissary just gives stuff away?
daddy: no that's not what i meant--
daya: that's a terrible way to run commissary daddy
daya: not everything has to be sexual
daddy: *moans*
daddy: you know, I bet you'd look great bent over my bunk grasping at the sheets
daya: I'm not making your bed
daddy:
daddy: dammit I thought for sure that one would work
daya: hold the fuck up
daya: I'm the fuck up. please hold me.
daddy: how's the most attractive person in litchfield max doing?
daya, without looking up from the book she's reading: I don't know, how are you?
daddy: *voice cracking* I'm fine
daya: is that your hand on my ass?
daddy: it was an accident
daya: daddy, your hand is still on my ass
daddy: IT'S STILL AN ACCIDENT
daya: just be the bigger person
daddy: no! I'm 5'3 and bitter! you be the bigger person!
daddy: my girlfriend is too tall for me to kiss her on the lips. what should i do?
annalisa: punch her in the stomach. then, when she doubles over in pain, kiss her
tina swope: tackle her
vasquez: dump her
adeola: kick her in the shin
daya: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.
daddy: *does one push up*
daddy: i could kill god