Incorrect Girlstuff/Boystuff Quotes

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Reanne: Ben, you can’t still be mad!

Ben: Oh, please, I’ve got grudges that go back to preschool! One day I’m gonna find a grown-up Tino Tonitini and eat his favorite crayon while he watches.

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Simon: You tried to run Ben over!

Jason: Oh, like you’ve never thought of doing that. Don’t hate me because I lived the dream.

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Reanne: You can finally get even with your brother! Remember everything he did to you? “Guess that smell”? “Liver week”? “The killing of the tooth fairy”?

Talia: Liver week was my fault. It would’ve only been a day if I just could’ve swallowed it.

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Ben: And once again, Simon and Ben save the day.

Reanne: You didn’t do anything, it was all Simon.

Ben: We’re a package deal, everyone knows that.

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Ben: Is this the part where you tell me that if I hurt her, you’ll kill me?

Jason: No, Talia is perfectly capable of killing you herself.

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Ben: This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

Hanna: Even worse than-

Ben: Let’s not do this.

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Simon: 4/20? I think you mean 1/5. Reduce your fractions. Did you even learn math?

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Jason: Could you not Ben this up more than you already have?

Ben: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?

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Talia, on the phone: Hello?

Ben: It's Ben.

Talia: What did he do this time?

Ben: No, it's me, Ben. It's actually me.

Talia: What did you do this time?

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Jason: There is only enough room in this family for one unstable sibling, and I have held that title for a very long time. So Talia is going to have to get it together.

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Hanna: Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.

Reanne: No, that takes all of the fun out of it!

Hanna: *glares*

Reanne: It’s Ben. He got you a scarf. I’ll make him return it.

Hanna: Yes, you will.

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Jason: I know you’re not used to this, but maybe you should just try to keep it chill and see what happens.

Simon: Great advice. Impossible to follow, but great advice.

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Talia: You know, you shouldn't tweet your location to someone who wants to kill you, Ben.

Ben: So you DO follow me.

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Ben: Look who it is, everybody! It's your favorite Ben!

Hanna: You're not even your mom's favorite Ben, Ben.

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Ben: Every major city has banned me from using their public transit system except Melbourne, Australia. I have no idea what their breaking point is, but mark my words, I will fucking find it.

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Hanna: Can you at least try to see this from my perspective?

Jason: *crouches down*

Simon: *kneels*

Hanna: I hope you both die.

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Hanna: Hello, my wonderful friends!

Hanna: Guess who just got

Hanna: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟINJURED･ﾟ✧･ﾟ✧

Reanne: Obviously I hope you’re okay, but I want you to know that that was the most in-character text you’ve ever sent me.