lucifer morningstar

  incorrect lucifer quotes.  | not all quotes are mine   

[incorrectluci]

Chloe, sees someone being stupid in distance: What an idiot.

Chloe, notices it's Lucifer: Wait, that's my idiot!

[incorrectluci]

Dan: This year I'm loving someone who deserves me: Me.

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: I see something beautiful every time I look into your eyes.

Marcus: Really?

Lucifer: Yeah, my reflection.

[incorrectluci]

I read this entire blog in each of the characters’ voices and it just… made so much sense. Thank you!

I’m glad that I could keep them in charachter. I hope you had fun while reading them! ♥

[incorrectluci]

Amenadiel: WHAT ARE ALL THESE DEAD BODIES DOING HERE?!

Maze [nudges one with her toe]: Honestly, not much.

[incorrectluci]

Maze: Gotta love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab your eyes out. I can make mittens.

Charlotte: What was that middle part?

Maze: I can make a hat.

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: I'm 70% water 30% alcohol and 100% swag.

Dan: That’s 200%.

Lucifer: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

[incorrectluci]

Chloe: Okay, about a month ago, Lucifer and I started sleeping together.

Ella: And?

Chloe: Wow, I thought you’d be a little more shocked.

Ella: I’m sorry. AND?!?!?

[incorrectluci]

Chloe: To catching a serial killer.

Dan: To catching a serial killer.

Lucifer: To Rihanna, because I love Rihanna.

[incorrectluci]

[Ella, stabbing the air between Chloe and Lucifer]

Chloe: What are you doing?

Ella: Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two. Unfortunately, it isn’t working.

[incorrectluci]

Chloe: [To Pierce] I'll sell you to satan for one corn chip.

Lucifer: Okay, let's stop there. I don't do business like that.

[incorrectluci]

[Chloe & Maze chasing a criminal on Maze's motorcycle]

Chloe, holding Maze tightly: Are we dead yet?

Maze: No.

Chloe, screaming: Are we dead yet?!

Maze: Look if we die I promise to let you know.

[incorrectluci]

Chloe: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Lucifer way.

Ella: Isn't that the wrong way?

Chloe: Yes, but it's faster.

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: (comes out of a room holding an antique bottle) Hey, is this whiskey or perfume?

Maze: (grabs the bottle, drinks all of it) It’s perfume.

Chloe, slightly horrified: It was.

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: Fuck the police!

Chloe, confused: I’m the police.

Lucifer: winks

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: Isn’t it funny how everyone is like background characters in other people’s stories. Except for me of course because I’m sexy and important but like, all of you guys

[incorrectluci]

Lucifer: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Maze: My favourite is "butt dial" vs "booty call".

Amenadiel: It's called connotation.

Charlotte: Also, "forgive me father, for I have sinned,"

Charlotte, winking at Dan: vs "sorry daddy, I've been naughty".

Lucifer: Great news, everyone! Language is now cancelled.