incorrect myth

Incorrect myths for the rpg This Mortal Life! If you have any you’d like to send, please send them in through the submit. Do not take any of these personally.

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Phillip: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Mareena: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

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Aphrodite: I lied, Eros doesn't think that you're a creepy stalker, he actually likes you.

Psyche: Then why did you-?

Aphrodite: Because I think that you're a creepy stalker and I actually don't like you.

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*Dion and Dite first meeting*

Aphrodite: You amuse me. I will make you mine.

Dionysus: You mean like a boyfriend? Or - or like a slave?

Aphrodite: Yes.

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Hera: I love you more today than yesterday

Hera: But if you ever piss me off like that again I will snap off your pecker and shove it in your ear!

Zeus: *gulps* yes dear

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Elysa: *talking about feelings*

Noah: *edging towards window*

Elysa: ... Are you climbing out the window?

Noah, halfway out the window:... No?

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Arthur: I am a very bad person. I am a very very bad person. I am a horrible person.

Reina:

Madeline:

Alice:

The Navy:

The Titans:

The Valencians:

Random Horse:

Arthur: "No you're not, Arthur. We still love you, Arthur."

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Tasmin: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing

Ana: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

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Arthur: Patricia!

Patricia: Yes, Satan?

Arthur:...

Patricia: I’m sorry, Your Highness, you sounded like someone else.

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Persephone: Mom and I were out gardening, so when she asks for the name of flowers, I give her the names of rappers.

Demeter: The Ludacris’s are coming in nicely this Spring.

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Aphrodite: Can you get something out of my back pocket for me?

Artemis: What am I getting out of it?

Aphrodite: A chance to feel my ass.

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Pentheus, in the Underworld: I lost like 27 pounds.

Persephone: Oh my gods, what is your secret?

Pentheus: ...

Pentheus: I had my arms ripped off.

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Larenzo: *laying injured in bed* I want you to avenge me, Kieron.

Kieron: You're not dying, Larenzo, you only got hit in the 'nads

Larenzo: AVENGE ME I SAY!!

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Alex: I love you.

Aurora: Thank you.

Alex: I love you so much.

Aurora: Thank you so much.

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Tobias: Too easy to read, kid. Did Daddy not teach you to fight?

Damon: ...

Dionysus: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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Bellamy: Hey wait, what about these?

Percival: Do you know how to use those?

Bellamy: No.

Percival: Put them down.

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Pamela [Pleione]: Fine, I will.

Atticus [Altas]: Good, ‘cause I love you.

Pamela [Pleione]: Oh yeah? Well I love you too.

Atticus [Altas]: Well, that’s the first time we’ve said that.

Pamela [Pleione]: Yes it is.

Atticus [Altas]: Well I’m gonna kiss you now.

Pamela [Pleione]: Well you better.

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Mona: We have a couple of house rules, though. You can’t use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal “usted.” And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.