I just got told from my sister to "Forget about getting an education. Just lose some weight and do your hair pretty so you can get a rich husband." What do you think?
That’s how my brother always talked to me. Here’s what you need to do:
This may require some acting skill on your part. But just know that you’re being absolutely diabolical and your acting skills will flourish.
The supplies you will require:PaperEnvelopesPen or pencilA decent collection of books/movies/magazines (borrow some if you have to)Her phone/computerCardboard boxTapeBalls of steel
The plan:Starting tomorrow no matter what your sister says to you or asks you, all you reply with is “you’re”. That is ALL you say to her. Even if she thinks she’s being clever and that moron says, “Say ‘you’re’ if you’re stupid”, you say “you’re”. If your parents tell you to stop or ask you what’s going on, you talk to one of them in private and just let them know that she’s bullying you and you’re teaching her a lesson. You should also write “you’re” on 100 slips of paper, put them in individual envelopes. Write her name on the envelope and leave them for her EVERYWHERE! In her favorite box of cereal, under her shampoo, in the drawer where she keeps her curling iron, in her visor, EVERYWHERE.
The next day you change it up and all you say is “a”. If she asks you, “where is my shirt?” you say, “a”. Nothing but “a”. At this point she’s going to be wondering what the hell is going on and how long you’re going to keep doing this. But you just keep on going like a robot. And this day you get every single book, magazine, and movie that starts with the letter “a” and lay it on her bedroom floor.
The next day will get interesting. Your new word of the day is “shitty”. If your parents are cool with cussing then it makes this way easier. But if they’re not then it makes it way more hilarious. Whenever it’s just the 2 of you, you only respond to anything she says with the word “shitty”. If there are other people around and you are sitting next to her, you whisper “shitty” just barely loud enough for her to hear it. This will make her go insane. She’ll no doubt have been trying to convince your parents all day that you’ve been cussing but you deny it until you die. Even if your parents ground you or punish you, stick to your guns. If you’re at the dinner table and she’s sitting across from you, quietly eat your dinner in small bites. But every once in awhile make eye contact with her and mouth the word “shitty”. She’ll no doubt start yelling but your parents will have been oblivious to the whole thing. This day you need to do something subtle, if you can get 10 minutes access to her phone that would be awesome!! Change every single contact in her phone to the word “shitty” haha. If you can’t get her phone then you could do the same with the applications on her computer.
The next day things settle down a little and your new word is “human.” No matter what she says (or yells), you just calmly respond with “human”. For “human” day you write “human” on a ton of little scraps of paper and put them in a cardboard box. Tape it up and write her name on it. Then leave it on your own front porch and ding dong ditch your own house.
The next day, your word (as you might have guessed) is “being”. Hopefully she’s put it together by now and she’ll think she’s a genius just because she can put a sentence together… But stick with “being” even when she makes fun of you and mocks you. You should also write the word “being” on your stomach and lift up your shirt a little every time you walk past her so she has to see the word.
The last and final day is the most rewarding. When you first see her, don’t say a word, just grab her arm and lead her into your bedroom. Sit her down on your bed. Sit down next to her. Look her right in the eyes, and say, “so go fuck yourself.” Then kick that bitch out of your room and never speak to her again until she apologizes to you (on her own accord) for treating you like shit.
It might be a long time before that happens. Maybe even long after you’ve gone to college, graduated top of your class, gotten your kickass dream job, and married a man who treats you right and with respect. Because he understands that who you are is a sum of how you treat others and how you treat yourself. You DON’T need to lose weight for any other reason than to get healthy and prolong your life. You’re beautiful and intelligent and worth a hell of a lot to me and to a lot of people.
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