* 𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑻 / 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵

❝ --i was born in a thunderstorm, i grew up overnight. i played alone, i played on my own but i survived. i wanted everything i n e v e e r had, like the love that comes with light. i wore envy and i HATED that but i survived. i had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go, where the WIND don't change and nothing in the ground can ever grow. no hope, just LIES and you're taught to cry in your pillow, but i survied. ❞

[incyas]

TEXT MESSAGE | INAYA

GUS: yeah you're right

GUS: oh damn, i'm trying to cut back on eating out too!!! but now with all those apps it's so easy to order in literally whatever you want..

GUS: thanks inaya!! i'll be okay, but honestly really appreciate it!

INAYA: way too easy. i've definitely gained like 5 pounds but it tastes good so who cares!!!!!

INAYA: although it is important to have a balanced and healthy diet too

INAYA: i just love grocery shopping, it's one of life's greatest pleasures

[incyas]

oliver.

sitting down at the bar, oliver nursed his beer, as he always did, slowly. his day at the shop was typical, but the past week had worn him down. he truly was just tired, but he always had one beer at the bar before making his way home. normally he had just one, and he would drink it alone, but today someone sat down next to oliver. with a neutral expression, he turned to his new guest. “don’t you live in my building?”

     inaya has been waiting far too long for someone who clearly isn’t going to show up. she’s given them the benefit of the doubt but after sitting alone with the same glass of wine for about an hour, she’s finally given up. she’s freed up her table, slipping away from the booth to head to the bar for another drink before she calls it quits for real and heads back home. she slides into a stool at random, leaning her elbows against the bar as she orders herself another glass. the defeated expression on her face disappears when the person seated next to her pipes up and she’s quick to flash him a warm smile. her gaze narrows slightly as she looks at him, as if she’s trying to place his face, and finally she does. “oh, yeah! i’m pretty sure i’ve seen you around. i think you live one floor up. not that i’m stalking you or something, i promise.”

[incyas]

kasper.

kasper’s mildly embarrassed at her mention of netflix. he’d barely known how to work it when it first started online and now? it seemed overwhelming ; daunting to search through a database of things you choose to watch. ‘maybe i’ll give it a go. need your help with it though, you gotta remember i’m an old man,’ he replies with a smile that’s always, always only reserved for inaya. tying his hair back into a messy sort of bun as he sat up, he paused before answering her own question. ‘dunno, sunshine. you’re good. and i’m not good. i’m tryin’ to be, obviously, with parole and all that shit. but i’m not good like … you. you’re the best person i know.’ the last bit was quieter than the rest of his reply had been, almost like he wanted that fact to be a secret. it was selfish. kasper loved how warm and genuine inaya was but somehow, somewhere inside of him wanted it kept safe. he’d always wanted that.

     it’s not as if she’s trying to toot her own horn, but she beams and tosses her dark locks dramatically over her shoulder anyway. “you’re lucky i’m a netflix master, then. although—that just kind of means i have no life, doesn’t it? i do more than just watch tv shows, i promise.” her shoulders shrink down a little to match the sheepish smile she’s now exhibiting. after a moment, her expression falters. it breaks her heart to hear kasper talk about himself the way he is now, especially when she sees him in such a brighter light. “you ARE good, kasper,” she murmurs, brows knitting together as draws in closer to him; just close enough to place a hand on top of his own and give it a little squeeze. “i’ve known you forever. you aren’t your mistakes. you aren’t your past. i know you. and the kasper i know is good.”

[incyas]

kasper.

@incyas — ! º

kasper was fine sitting with inaya in silence most of the time. he wasn’t a man of many words to begin with and more often than not, conversation overwhelmed him. after being in prison he didn’t know how to talk to anybody about the small things in life — maybe not the big things, either. as the pair sat comfortably on his couch, he flipped through various television shows on the tv and grumbled at the lack of interesting things to watch, grip on the remote strong as he became annoyed. there had to be something good on. ‘jesus,’ he began under his breath. ‘get a big ass tv right outta jail and there’s never shit to watch. my own personal hell.’ stretching his long limbs out onto the coffee table in front of them, he turned his head a ways to face inaya and paused before saying what he wanted. ‘it ever bother you that i’ve been to the pen?’

     it’s almost miraculous how inaya never fails to feel like a giddy teenager again in kasper’s presence. she’s all trembling hands and a fluttering heart, touched with the warmth of nostalgia. what’s even more miraculous is how she manages to maintain a demeanor of nonchalance while she lounges on the couch, legs curled up next to her as her gaze remains glued on the television screen. “sounds about right, yeah,” she laughs a little, turning her head to meet his gaze. “i guess all the good stuff is just on netflix now.” inaya can’t even remember the last time she’s made the voluntary choice to watch cable over some kind of streaming service. his question visibly catches her off guard, brows raising slightly as she hold his gaze. nevertheless, it doesn’t take her long to answer. “why would that bother me?”

[incyas]

TEXT MESSAGE | INAYA

AUGUST: i was getting that feeling honestly..

AUGUST: i could NOT take your food!!

AUGUST: i'll just replace it all just gotta do it before anyone else notices

INAYA: just to be safe, you know?

INAYA: it's no trouble!!!! i've got a ton. sami and i eat out too much :/

INAYA: or if you need some extra hands to carry groceries, you can borrow mine

[incyas]

jed.

closed starter for @incyas

“no, no— don’t worry. i got this,” jed announced with all the pseudo confidence of someone who had downed two drinks in rapid succession, “i know what i’m doing. i’ve seen the people do it on youtube.” how they had landed in this very situation was unclear, but jed was convinced he had all the expertise of a beauty guru… and was about to demonstrate said skills on the guru herself. how was that for a wild night in. “wait,” the oh-so confident expert abruptly paused, eyes wide as he frantically searched around him, “where’s the little ball of foam? i know the foam ball is key to this somehow.”

     “well that’s all you need to become a professional, really,” inaya laughs whole-heartedly, a hand resting upon her stomach as she sits up straight. there’s nothing like a few drinks to get the idea of a makeover up in the air. her face is bare but her lips are stained thanks to the glass of wine in her hand, which she eventually sets down onto the nearest surface to prepare herself. “you mean a beauty blender? i have a whole bunch of them. they’re with my brushes in, uh—” there’s a pause, like she has to think about which choice is right before she shoves the makeup bag into his hands. “this one.”

[incyas]

felix.

@incyas!

CLOSED.

    felix wants to stay like this: quiet, not talking. he’s got his head nuzzling into inaya’s shoulder and a cup of warm tea in his hands. he’s content, physically anyways ( and that’s saying a lot for someone who sometimes feels too tall and gangly and who doesn’t always love the sensation of being touched ). mentally, though, felix is anything but relaxed. the words he’s been waiting to blurt out are bubbling on the tip of his tongue like he’s trying to swallow a sparkler. for as much as he wants to just tell someone, though, he’s a little afraid of speaking it aloud and making it real. new year’s eve feels like a dream. a far away and distant dream. is it too late to still be having these intrusive thoughts about it? “ i got kissed! ” his mouth makes the decision to share before his head catches up. silly boy. cheeks flush immediately and he hides his face in the comforting crook of inaya’s neck.

     human contact was one of the things inaya found most comforting in the entire world. felix in particular is an exceptional cuddle buddy and she’s happy their relationship has progressed enough to include the epitome of platonic affection. she knows how he can be, so she really does feel lucky to be in the position she’s in right now. “a kiss?” the woman coos, eyebrows raising as she shifts to meet his gaze. it’s impossible to fight the smile spreading across painted lips so she doesn’t even attempt to. “felix, that’s great! you know you have to tell me all the details though, right?” she’s just as excited as him, truly. considering she hasn’t been kissed in quite some time, she feels the need to live vicariously through him.

[incyas]

TEXT MESSAGE | INAYA

AUGUST: it's possible yes

AUGUST: there's a lot of different stuff.. chicken nuggets, popsicles, some old bananas, other fruit, lasagne.. that's just naming some of it..

INAYA: you probably should throw most of that out, then

INAYA: i've got a ton in my freezer if you need some food!!!

[incyas]

karla.

“I know I overdid it, I always do.” Karla giggled as she set down two bags full of items to promote self improvement. “Something about the new year. I have convinced myself I am going to start kick boxing, take up watercoloring, learn to cook more, grow my own herbs, and read more.” She looked at the bags as she took her her keys out. “I’ve over done it haven’t I?” 

     inaya’s brows raise as she leans in slightly, peering directly into the bags placed onto the floor in front of her. “that DOES look like quite a bit,” she muses, gaze flicking back up to the other’s as painted lips curve into a smile. “i don’t think it’s ever too much, though! even if you don’t stick with all of them, or any of them, at least you can say you tried something new, right? that counts for something.” inaya nods once. “which one are you most excited to try out?”

[incyas]

kasper.

kasper lets a long, uncomfortable pause wash over their interaction. how the hell does he tell her she looks good no matter what without sounding like one of those rom-com yuppies? 

so he doesn’t. 

‘not new. blade’s sharper than usual,’ he explains as he grabs a portion of the cloth of the table he’s sitting at, brutishly tearing off a sliver of it lengthwise with the knife he’d just had an accident with. after tying it around the injury in a mock-bandaged fashion, he gave the best smile he could manage, wincing but quickly recovering. ‘all good. you uh, got a date to this shit? like you uh, come with somebody?’

     a look of disappointment is quick to fall over her face after witnessing his attempt at making a makeshift bandage. there’s a part of inaya that wishes he would just let her help him but then again, that doesn’t sound like a very kasper thing to do, and perhaps that’s for the best. “just—be careful, okay?” painted lips press together and she gives his wrist a gentle squeeze before letting go completely. “no, i um—i came alone.” inaya seems almost embarrassed to admit it, gaze diverting to the ground as a hand lifts to rub the back of her neck. “but i’m still having fun! how could i not with free drinks and all, right?” she’s smiling again when she meets his gaze, just as bright and cheery as before. “did you? come with anybody, i mean?”

[incyas]

TEXT MESSAGE | OPEN

AUGUST: hypothetically speaking..

AUGUST: if everything in the freezer melts because.. i don't know, the door was left open or something

AUGUST: can you shut the door and let everything just freeze again??

INAYA: everything melted????

INAYA: it depends what was inside and how long it was open for i think?

[incyas]

haeju.

the new year’s eve party was a sucess for haeju, he’d been in good spirits the entire night, had a blast and had gotten to talk to some of the people he’d been dying to talk to for a few weeks. but he’d also met new people, branched out as much as he could and he felt like because of it, he could place names with some of the faces he saw in the building. right now, though? the only thing he was placing was the pounding headache that’s been causing him pain ever since he rolled out of bed that morning. “hangovers are the literal worst.” he mumbles, mostly to himself. though he’s not alone, there’s someone in the lobby with him. “i’d tell you to make me promise to never drink again, but i know that would only last a day. if that.” he chuckles, finally glancing up at the other. “i’ve heard the best cures for hangovers are greasy foods and coffee.” the silver-haired male starts, a small grin pulling up on the edges of his lips. “care to go with me to the diner down the road to test that theory out? or do you happen to know anything else that make me feel less death-like as i do right now?”

     perhaps she’s just a little more blessed than others, but hangovers have never seemed to affect inaya all that much. even when she thinks she’s had quite a bit to drink, and drinking a lot is something she’s definitely capable of, she rarely ever wakes up the next morning with anything other than a bit of a headache. in fact, the woman is full of energy, even given the fact it’s new years morning. by the time most people are rolling out of bed, she’s already had a quick breakfast and come back from a jog. the only thing on her mind when haeju speaks up from across the lobby is a bigger, better breakfast, so his invitation really feels more like a gift from the god’s. “i’m pretty sure i’ve heard that too,” she admits with a chuckle, doing her best to keep her voice down. the other is clearly not feeling his best, even though he’s throwing a cheery smile in her direction. “there’s nothing i want more than that, right now. i’d love to come with. it’ll be on me!”

[incyas]

𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 // 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣

BENTLEY: so with this whole "new year" thing, i was thinking of some potential resolutions

BENTLEY: thing is, i usually don't keep them and i think i'm pretty damn great so like ?? y'know

BENTLEY: perhaps i should try to be nicer, who the fuck knows

INAYA: well, everyone can always be a little nicer!

INAYA: but you really don't have to make any resolutions if you don't want to

INAYA: trying to better yourself is something you should try to do everyday anyway, not just because it's a new year!!

[thequotejournals]

I will stay gentle no matter what I endure, I am so much more.

Tyler Knott Gregson (via thequotejournals)

[incyas]

kasper.

@incyas — ! º

kasper kept at least two knives with him wherever he went ; didn’t need a reason or an occasion, they just stayed with him like they were an extension of his own body. the one he was haphazardly swinging around as he sat slumped over in the corner of the penthouse was a cobalt blue butterfly knife – the first he’d ever gotten after fleeing hawaii. they started out as protection, but as he grew older and much, much bigger, they became something different. a symbol of his carelessness, his recklessness with life. kasper shouldn’t own a blade a at all, knowing it could violate his parole. but he did. and the blue one was his favorite. 

out of the corner of his eye he sees inaya whose vague silhouette reflects itself into one of the blades as she stands a foot away from him. 

without realizing how hard he’ staring at the metal he lets a blade slip, forcing its way into the webbing of his hand. ‘christ,’ he winces, bringing the cut up to his mouth. after standing up to face the woman, he finds he has nothing charming to say. not that he didn’t want to, he just — never could, with her. a part of him felt she was too beautiful to speak to.

‘hair’s nice. looks good.’ his voice is gravelly and rough from years of downing whiskey but there’s a softness in it as he tries his best to compliment her. 

     it takes inaya a lot less to get her intoxicated than she'd like to admit. then again, she hasn't really been keeping track of what glass she's on. it's new years, after all, one is supposed to drink and have a good time, not limit themselves to a certain number of drinks. either way, she's just a little more than tipsy, cheeks naturally flushed and warm underneath the makeup she'd dusted on hours earlier. perhaps that's exactly why she didn't notice kasper until he was already on his feet and uttering a less-than-eloquent compliment to her.

     his striking features are difficult to ignore and under his intense gaze, she feels instantly flustered. painted lips curve into a little smile as she diverts her gaze down to her dark locks, fingertips of her free hand brushing through the strands absent-mindedly. “i just got a trim. you're lucky you didn't see it a couple of days ago because it looked dreadful.” inaya's taught herself how to accept a compliment over the years but there's something about kasper that makes her more modest than usual.

     before she even has the chance to say anything else, she's distracted by the wound on his hand. it looks fresh. the sight of blood has never been an issue for her but her protective instincts are kicking in and without even thinking about it, she's wrapping slender fingertips around his wrist and pulling his hand in closer to her face, as if to get a better look. “you're bleeding.”

[incyas]

What’s something that will always be in fashion, no matter how much time passes?

honesty day | accepting

     “i’ll always be a fan of a classic red lip!”

[incyas]

what is your biggest passion?

honesty day | accepting

     “definitely makeup. or just beauty in general, maybe? can that be a passion? it must be ‘cause it’s mine. not that makeup and beauty are the SAME thing but they definitely go hand-in-hand.”