cyanide daydreams @indiecarr42 - Tumblr Blog

“In my experience it’s the party favors that make the party.” Serene said with a small giggle. She was looking at him watching him move as they walked. They spent so much time together it was almost impossible to imagine the day without him.

familiaanteomnia

"Well obviously." Playful gesture to the cigarette as he decided to step off the path. Into the grass, not to shortcut towards anything in particular. Just felt the urge to not walk on the cement and followed through with the impulse. "That's an bit like saying water is wet."

indiecarr42

“You’re not leading me to where to take all the girls are you Nathan?” Serene teased as she slowly walked behind him through the grass. It was a lovely night outside the kind of night she wanted to savor. Not just because of the drugs but the company she had with her.

indiecarr42

Serene let out a loud laugh before spinning softly on the path. She stretched out her arms as she did so a wide grin on her face. “They’re most certainly blitzed. You know how to throw a party Nathan.” It had been a delightful night of drinking and drugs that had been a great relief for serene. She found herself still smiling as she took a drag of her cigarette.

familiaanteomnia

Not pausing or stumbling as half bowed in response. "I mean most the claim goes to the rest of the club, I just provide the party supplies." If it was all on him, it wouldn't be half as effective. Or he would entirely mess up the finer details. Yet he didn't think about it seriously as stretched some. Fingers of both hands, nestled together and palms up as extended up to the night sky. Before back at his sides, usual not so perfect posture settling back in.

indiecarr42

“In my experience it’s the party favors that make the party.” Serene said with a small giggle. She was looking at him watching him move as they walked. They spent so much time together it was almost impossible to imagine the day without him.

indiecarr42

Serene smiling holding the jacket in her hand for a moment before draping it over her thin shoulders. She knew how important the red jacket was to Nathan to rarely saw him out in public without it. “You’re kind Nathan.” She gave him a small smile smoke leaking from her lips as she did. “Don’t worry though I wont tell anyone. Your reputation is safe with me.” She found herself watching him stare up at the sky loving how peaceful he looked.

familiaanteomnia

"Uh huh." One hand making sure an few escaped strands of hair; were smoothed back into place. "Pretty sure everybody is too blitzed to believe it if they were told it." He wasn't too worried about it, didn't want to be at the moment. Eyes closing for an moment while still staring towards the stars. Before focusing back on the path he'd been walking.

indiecarr42

Serene let out a loud laugh before spinning softly on the path. She stretched out her arms as she did so a wide grin on her face. “They’re most certainly blitzed. You know how to throw a party Nathan.” It had been a delightful night of drinking and drugs that had been a great relief for serene. She found herself still smiling as she took a drag of her cigarette.

indiecarr42

“I would kill for a cigarette.” Serene smiled before gesturing for him to lead the way out of the party. It was a vortex party full of all their shared friends that already spent enough time gossiping about the two of them.

Once they made it outside Serene carefully pulled a cigarette from her pack before lighting it in one quick motion. It was cold she regretted not grabbing her jacket, the red slip dress she had on did little to keep her warm.

familiaanteomnia

Once they were out, realizing he felt far too warm and tugging his jacket off. Thinking before extending the complicated safety net of the fabric towards her. "Here so you don't freeze." Looking up at the night sky for an moment before resuming to walk.

indiecarr42

Serene smiling holding the jacket in her hand for a moment before draping it over her thin shoulders. She knew how important the red jacket was to Nathan to rarely saw him out in public without it. “You’re kind Nathan.” She gave him a small smile smoke leaking from her lips as she did. “Don’t worry though I wont tell anyone. Your reputation is safe with me.” She found herself watching him stare up at the sky loving how peaceful he looked.

indiecarr42

“You mean more then just a boyfriend Nathan. So I won’t do anything besides be a great friend for you unless you change your mind.” She gave Nathan a wink before doing several tight spins on the tips of one of her toes. There was huge smile on her face as she did so.

Serene couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t want to know Nathan in a romantic way but over the last few weeks he had become the closest thing she had to a best friend at black well. Serene spent every moment she could with the young man feeling like he need her as much as she needed him.

familiaanteomnia

"Right." Light laughter while stopping his movements to stretch some. Pushing some loose strands of hair out his face. Watching the happenings of the party for an moment. Before focusing back on her, "I'm going to get some air; care to tag along?" Seemed polite instead of just ditching her. Unsure what air exactly meant just yet. Wide range of possibilities knowing himself, but it was nice to not overthink it or ruin the rare comfortable state he was in.

indiecarr42

“I would kill for a cigarette.” Serene smiled before gesturing for him to lead the way out of the party. It was a vortex party full of all their shared friends that already spent enough time gossiping about the two of them.

Once they made it outside Serene carefully pulled a cigarette from her pack before lighting it in one quick motion. It was cold she regretted not grabbing her jacket, the red slip dress she had on did little to keep her warm.

indiecarr42

Serene liked dancing with Nathan they spent many nights dancing wherever they could. This was different though Nathan wasn’t dancing next to Serene they were dancing together under the glow of the club lights. Every movement she made he perfectly responded to.

Serene gently wrapped her arms around Nathan’s shoulders before smiling up at him. She was so happy in a way that the girl never figured she could be again. “You happen to be a marvelous dancer Nathan. If I wasn’t so sure it would ruin the moment I would kiss you right now.” Serene leaned in close to whispered before giving herself a small spin leaving a hand resting on Nathan’s shoulder.

familiaanteomnia

Nathan offered an small smile back to her. Genuine at least in the way not being in tune with inhibition offered up. As well he also was having an bit of fun. "The wonders of an few tragic ballroom dance lessons." In any other place instead of cozy, temporary calm he'd internally point out those lessons had never stuck and he probably was terrible at it. Yet none of that entered his mind at the moment. Slow blink, slight tilt of his head at what followed though. Having to make sure he'd actually heard it right. "Wouldn't be the finest idea, interesting though."

indiecarr42

“You mean more then just a boyfriend Nathan. So I won’t do anything besides be a great friend for you unless you change your mind.” She gave Nathan a wink before doing several tight spins on the tips of one of her toes. There was huge smile on her face as she did so.

Serene couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t want to know Nathan in a romantic way but over the last few weeks he had become the closest thing she had to a best friend at black well. Serene spent every moment she could with the young man feeling like he need her as much as she needed him.

familiaanteomnia

@indiecarr42 sent in for an flirty starter

He really wasn't thinking about it; the shift from begrudgingly dancing to the music with her. Though he had not really been doing more than the occasional sway. Into actually letting himself dance with the music. Bit flirty for the hell of it, not an single real thought inside his head or worry about reputation or any of his normal worries in general.

indiecarr42

Serene liked dancing with Nathan they spent many nights dancing wherever they could. This was different though Nathan wasn’t dancing next to Serene they were dancing together under the glow of the club lights. Every movement she made he perfectly responded to.

Serene gently wrapped her arms around Nathan’s shoulders before smiling up at him. She was so happy in a way that the girl never figured she could be again. “You happen to be a marvelous dancer Nathan. If I wasn’t so sure it would ruin the moment I would kiss you right now.” Serene leaned in close to whispered before giving herself a small spin leaving a hand resting on Nathan’s shoulder.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene reached into her bag pulling out a cigarette placing it gently between her lips. “What were they like? I take it Victoria is one for this sort of entertainment.” She lit the cigarette in one quick motion before taking a long drag.

Serene had been alone in her love for the dark nature of the world for so long. Nathan seemed to love it almost as much as she did.

He’d probably brush off the questions; normally he would but for whatever reason found himself answering. “They’re chaotic, but care a lot about others despite it.” Not sure if it was the best response but it’d just been what first came to his mind. “Eh sometimes, it’s not really her type of thing though.” Of course wasn’t his place to elaborate; not that he would think about it. His best friend could be pretty insecure about her entertainment choices, which he understood personally. “I don’t think she would be able to sit through this one- it’s for a specific audience that’s for sure.”

indiecarr42

“They sound lovely.” Serene said softly, she wondered if this person was like Tony. A piece of Nathan’s past long buried in the ground. She assumed it was just her dark way of thinking. Not everyone had the same burdens that she so lived with.

“Are you implying I might be a little bit of dark mind Nathan.” Serene joked taking a long drag from her cigarette before giggling. “You’d be right of course.” She giggled out.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene found herself twisting her hair around her fingers ever so carefully. She was content being right there in that moment. She felt lucky to be inside Nathan’s room they always seemed to party in her room or somewhere far from campus this was very different and very special to her.

“It’s a lovely film you picked. Not very many fans of artistic foreign films here.” Serene teased sitting up so she could scoot back to where Nathan was sitting.

Took him a moment to process the teasing words before shrugging. “Oh yeah this place totally lacks people who’d watch such things for weird status quo reasons.” Nathan put out the used up smoke in a nearby ashtray. Tucking his now free hand’s, arm behind his head to make for extra padding since the hood over his head wasn’t doing the trick. “I only know of it though cause of somebody who genuinely enjoys artistic foreign films to an arguably unhealthy degree; otherwise it’d never have come across my radar.” Letting his gaze drift from his phone screen to her. “The incorporation of realistic horror is nice though.”

indiecarr42

Serene reached into her bag pulling out a cigarette placing it gently between her lips. “What were they like? I take it Victoria is one for this sort of entertainment.” She lit the cigarette in one quick motion before taking a long drag.

Serene had been alone in her love for the dark nature of the world for so long. Nathan seemed to love it almost as much as she did.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene handed him the small tin before flipping over onto her stomach to get more comfortable. It was easy for her to be around Nathan all of the things that seemed to draw others away from him pulled serene in close. She liked being with the man next to her, he felt like a friend she was always meant to meet.

Serene relaxed as she movie began to play savoring the images of a country so deeply imbedded in her heart. It was like looking at photos of a long lost childhood home. She was thrilled that Nathan could provide such a feeling.

Doing an line off the side of his hand; before closing and just setting it down on the covers. Head resting against the hard wall behind him; focusing on smoking and not really the movie. Except for how it looked when affected by the smoke. Brain running just slightly rampant with how unusual having somebody in his dorm was. Over analyzing how it looked, the fact he was in plain clothes and shrinking further into the shadows to avoid the projector light revealing anything. It wasn’t likely he really had to worry about Serene even paying any mind to any of it; or his appearance but it didn’t matter. Yet allowing his knees to tuck up to his chest. Lazily resting his arm on them between hits- briefly just watching her for an moment- ways the shadows and projector lights did their thing. Shaking it off by checking his phone.

indiecarr42

Serene found herself twisting her hair around her fingers ever so carefully. She was content being right there in that moment. She felt lucky to be inside Nathan’s room they always seemed to party in her room or somewhere far from campus this was very different and very special to her.

“It’s a lovely film you picked. Not very many fans of artistic foreign films here.” Serene teased sitting up so she could scoot back to where Nathan was sitting.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

“I’m fluent in French so I’ll be okay. Up to you.” Serene sat up next to the boy. She couldn’t help but wonder who the girl was he had downloaded the film for in the first place. “I can’t complain it’s a piece of the place I most wish I was.”

Being kicked out of school in France was Serenes great shame. She could still remember the nagging feeling she had not to hang out with Tony when he visited her. If she hadn’t she would have never plunged back into the world of drugs that had so ruined her life. Serene took a drag from her joint before rifling around in her bag for her silver tin, carefully scraping out a line of the powder inside. “Little extra flavoring for the movie?” Serene asked gesturing to the tin.

“Ookay then.” Figuring he wouldn’t bother with the subtitles then; not that he was fluent in French but practically knew the dialogue and- was most likely to just be watching than listening either way. Precariously balancing the laptop on his left knee; once it was playing he’d set it aside to be forgotten till the credits rolled. “Mm.” Acknowledging he’d listened but he didn’t really know how to comment. It wasn’t like he had ever traveled much; or would. Existing for him was practically limbo with no ideal place to wish to be, only a ranking of what spots he least wanted at any given time. Watching it start up before setting the laptop aside. Angling his head up to breathe out smoke; eyes monitoring the glow of the projector’s system lights a moment till they blurred. Focusing himself back to the starting movie and her. Debating the offer- as if he might actually chose to decline. “Sure.”

indiecarr42

Serene handed him the small tin before flipping over onto her stomach to get more comfortable. It was easy for her to be around Nathan all of the things that seemed to draw others away from him pulled serene in close. She liked being with the man next to her, he felt like a friend she was always meant to meet.

Serene relaxed as she movie began to play savoring the images of a country so deeply imbedded in her heart. It was like looking at photos of a long lost childhood home. She was thrilled that Nathan could provide such a feeling.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

“How about something French and beautiful in its horror.” Serene said taking another swig from the bottle. “I miss France it would nice to pretend in there again.” She said quietly taking another hit of her joint.

Serene looked sadder then normal the kind of sad that hung around like a storm cloud above her. She knew she was probably barging in on Nathan’s private day but she liked being with the boy, he made her feel less alone so far away from home.

“Or whatever you want I’m not very picky just a fan of gore.” Serene joked smoke trailing from her lips as she spoke.

Nathan hummed around the blunt as he thought it over an moment. Getting up out of the bed to grab something he knew would hit all the boxes. Plucking the case out from amongst the others and scooping up his laptop- making sure to turn the projector on. It had been idle but eventually reached it’s shut off point long before she showed up. Settling back into where he’d reclined with his back to the wall previously. “This one should do the trick- beautiful, twisted filmed and set in France with pockets of gore.” Not connecting his laptop till the movie had started up in the cd tray. “If this doesn’t do the trick I won’t be offended- I only have it because the person I bought it for essentially wanted it on tap.” Going dead silent a moment before shrugging. “Anyways, subtitles? French or English if needed otherwise can just leave them turned off.”

indiecarr42

“I’m fluent in French so I’ll be okay. Up to you.” Serene sat up next to the boy. She couldn’t help but wonder who the girl was he had downloaded the film for in the first place. “I can’t complain it’s a piece of the place I most wish I was.”

Being kicked out of school in France was Serenes great shame. She could still remember the nagging feeling she had not to hang out with Tony when he visited her. If she hadn’t she would have never plunged back into the world of drugs that had so ruined her life. Serene took a drag from her joint before rifling around in her bag for her silver tin, carefully scraping out a line of the powder inside. “Little extra flavoring for the movie?” Serene asked gesturing to the tin.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene flopped back on the bed exhaling smoke above her. She was grateful for Nathan he seemed a twin flame to her. Someone on equally dangerous paths. “I want to watch something scary maybe a little twisted. What have you got?” They had only ever watched movies in her dorm and Nathan always seemed to pick a socially acceptable film. Not what serene really wanted.

Serene took another swig from the bottle sitting up ever so much to do so before laying back down. She looked much sadder then normal the holiday clearly weighing heavy on the young girl.

He almost laughed at the request; kept it internalized however especially given he didn’t want to choke on the smoke he was breathing in. For several reasons really only humorous to him ranging from realizing she’d barely taken in his room. Sure had been the curious appraisal but no real comments on the aspects most could heavily judge. Oh of course he’d have that suggestive, freaky art and so forth. Shoving aside the mocking thoughts and such to instead respond. He kept to socially acceptable films for many reasons. Not so show his love for films, not to get mocked for the absurdly artsy stuff, or well the horror he mostly enjoyed not as people wouldd think but as a safety net. From being fake, dramatic or just far less horrifying than his nightmares,etc. Plus the film enthusiast side that enjoyed special affects, or sheer amusing stupidity. Gesturing from the projector to his movie collection; well the physical half of it. “Any parameters? I also have lots on my laptop so…” Blowing out smoke as he sat up a bit. “You can be so specific like- oh yeah i want an obscure one that’s twisted and has every single couple get killed in the first 10 minutes… And I’d still need to narrow it down.” Out of the usual… Allowing somebody in his dorm room, letting himself be casual about yeah I’m not just socially acceptable movies surprise. Not that it was? Hell if he knew what she was thinking in the slightest. Nathan flicked a stray candy wrapper that’d uncovered from the depths of who knows where, bed limbo off onto the floor. It felt nice, normal but he also had to take another puff to shake the desire to immediately throw it away.

indiecarr42

“How about something French and beautiful in its horror.” Serene said taking another swig from the bottle. “I miss France it would nice to pretend in there again.” She said quietly taking another hit of her joint.

Serene looked sadder then normal the kind of sad that hung around like a storm cloud above her. She knew she was probably barging in on Nathan’s private day but she liked being with the boy, he made her feel less alone so far away from home.

“Or whatever you want I’m not very picky just a fan of gore.” Serene joked smoke trailing from her lips as she spoke.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene looked around the room slightly not being mosey rather just curious. They had always partied in her room on somewhere they drove to. This was certainly a different experience for her, not necessarily frightening.

She sat down next to him on the bed pulling her bag onto the comforter with her. She looked through it pulling out a bottle of vodka along with several other things. She opened the bag of joints handing one to Nathan before lighting her own.

“Thanks for the company Nathan.” Serene took a long hit off her smoldering joint. “Didn’t exactly feel like partying alone today.” She opened the bottle of vodka taking a large swig before handing it to Nathan.

He carefully scooped up the rest of the pile; setting it all aside on a nearby surface that wasn’t the bed. Leaving the carton on the edge however; so he knew where it was for later. Reclining with his back against the wall as he took the joint given. Trying to keep himself from over analyzing his room; assuming the judgements that could form that probably wouldn’t be an thought in anybody else’s head. Lighting it; taking a long inhale as he closed and dropped the lighter beside him. Not responding for a moment just to not have to breathe out- just yet. But then he exhaled and took the offered bottle. “Don’t mention it.” Taking a sip before taking another hit of the blunt between his fingers. Eyes closing for a moment; quiet for a few minutes before blowing the smoke out in a controlled fashion above his head. “Happy to be of some strange use.” From the blink and you’d miss it little uptick of the side of his mouth- clearly making an odd joke out of the statement.

indiecarr42

Serene flopped back on the bed exhaling smoke above her. She was grateful for Nathan he seemed a twin flame to her. Someone on equally dangerous paths. “I want to watch something scary maybe a little twisted. What have you got?” They had only ever watched movies in her dorm and Nathan always seemed to pick a socially acceptable film. Not what serene really wanted.

Serene took another swig from the bottle sitting up ever so much to do so before laying back down. She looked much sadder then normal the holiday clearly weighing heavy on the young girl.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

Serene had her hand propped carefully against the door. She wasn’t in the best state herself her hair a jumbled mess make up haphazardly put on. “Blow off some steam with me?” Serene said pulling a small bag full of rolled joints out of her pocket.

She hated Valentine’s Day. It had been a misery when she dated Tony and seemed even worse after his death. She wanted nothing more then to drink her day away. But she didn’t want to do it alone that was to dangerous.

He thought for a long moment about the offer; her state and well his appearance hidden in the blackness of his practically unlit dorm. Plus just took a while to process due to exhaustion and other factors. Undoing the rest of the locks before cracking it open some more. “Sure, come in.” Nathan sure wasn’t exiting in his current state- so even though the invitation in meant letting her in for the first time; maybe only time oh well. Staying tucked behind the door as waited for her to enter. Pulling up the hood of his faded band sweatshirt to try conceal his bedhead, curls and freckles plus general unwell appearance. Not that it was important yet given the entire lack of any light but he didn’t realize it wasn’t a problem yet. Once she was in shutting the door; plunge into pitch black entirely save if looked up at the glowing star stickers on the ceiling and doing up all the locks before navigating to turn on a lamp. Collapsing onto his bed and grabbing for his lighter that sat by the basically empty carton of cigarettes amidst several other items he’d just left atop the disheveled bed.

indiecarr42

Serene looked around the room slightly not being mosey rather just curious. They had always partied in her room on somewhere they drove to. This was certainly a different experience for her, not necessarily frightening.

She sat down next to him on the bed pulling her bag onto the comforter with her. She looked through it pulling out a bottle of vodka along with several other things. She opened the bag of joints handing one to Nathan before lighting her own.

“Thanks for the company Nathan.” Serene took a long hit off her smoldering joint. “Didn’t exactly feel like partying alone today.” She opened the bottle of vodka taking a large swig before handing it to Nathan.

familiaanteomnia

@indiecarr42 He didn’t have the best night; so he made an executive decision to not be around the drama and other nonsense that would plague the halls for the holiday. Only plans to leave his dorm room being far later in the evening. To spoil Victoria some because why not- best friend perks or something. Until then he stayed in what he’d attempted to sleep in; hadn’t even messed with his hair any or anything either. Nathan’s eyes closed, slightly dozing when heard the out of nowhere knock. Taking in that it was lunch time- but no clue why or who would be knocking. Undoing enough locks to crack the door open for a single eye to peer out. “What?” Irritable tone mixed with a bit of hoarseness from not using his voice at all yet. It softened a little towards the end when realized who it was though.

indiecarr42

Serene had her hand propped carefully against the door. She wasn’t in the best state herself her hair a jumbled mess make up haphazardly put on. “Blow off some steam with me?” Serene said pulling a small bag full of rolled joints out of her pocket.

She hated Valentine’s Day. It had been a misery when she dated Tony and seemed even worse after his death. She wanted nothing more then to drink her day away. But she didn’t want to do it alone that was to dangerous.

familiaanteomnia

indiecarr42:

“White wine it is.” Veronica pulled the cork from a bottle before pouring the young man a rather generous glass. She slid the glass across to him. “So I take it you go to Blackwell then. Ren certainly works fast.” Veronica said as she began to mix herself a drink.

Serene spoke with the boy for a few minutes before following him out of the main room. She seemed almost nervous as she walked away. Meeting a new supplier always seemed to make her a little nervous.

“Thanks.” Picking the glass up and taking an testing sip. Yeah it would do the trick alright. “I do attend Blackwell yes. Works fast?” A bit of curiosity wouldn’t hurt to express. Keeping awareness of his surroundings- noticing the nervousness but easily staying focused on the current conversation as well. Long drink of the glass; deciding to cradle it in both hands absent mindlessly- probably nobody would harass him about it in this place.

indiecarr42

“She’s a lonely person Serene I’ve never known her to have more then a hand full of actual friends. She made quick work finding you.” Veronica poured her drink into a nice glass before taking a sip. “Ren seems relaxed though usually she’d be in terror moving to a new place. You must be some comfort to her.” Veronica walked to the front of the bar.

The tall woman stood next to Nathan carefully trying her best not to frighten the boy. She took a long sip of her drink before looking over to Nathan. “Would you like to see something wonderful?” She asked.

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