The Life Of An Indoor Cat

Lydia. 25. Cis. She/her. Widow. Minneapolis. Spoonie. Crochet blog: indoorcatcrochet. My blog is a hot mess like myself.

[ruinedchildhood]

[positivedoodles]

[indoorcattt]

Hello Tumblr 

I have been absent from here for a really long time at this point.. I needed a break, and during said break my life completely fell apart.

On 2/6/2017 the love of my life passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. He had acute leukemia with no symptoms (he was literally still hiking mountains and shit), and when he somehow got a minor brain bleed, it became deadly due to his lack of platelets. He collapsed one morning in our apartment and never recovered, he was pronounced brain dead that same day. I have no interest in going into further detail than that. It was incredibly traumatic and heart breaking. I am a 25 year old widow. The person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with is gone. 

I have since relocated with live with my sister and her family in Minneapolis. I need my family right now. And I need the financial support. I was interviewing for jobs when all of this went down. And now I simply cannot comprehend working. I am too unstable, and I’m really off my game (understandably). I am doing what I can to heal. I am not looking for any grief advice at this point, fyi. I have multiple sources of support, and simply cannot handle anymore input from people.

I am trying to find a new “normal” and find myself. I was 16 when we started dating, so I obviously have no idea who I am without him as part of my life. And I am trying to learn to navigate life without him. It’s really hard. We had a beautiful, healthy relationship. He was so vibrant and healthy, I don’t understand how he’s gone.

[indoorcattt]

The seagull (I forget if he has a name) walks on two feet. Maybe he's interacted with fire at some point in his life. But he has no use for a fork because he is a bird. Maybe that explains why he couldn't teach Ariel the words for everything???

You know, I think you might be right. But he’s just so clueless, I am still a tiny bit skeptical here.. haha

[indoorcattt]

So I can't help but think that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel shouldn't have known the proper terms for ANYTHING about the humans because literally her only source of information was a crazy ass seagull who just made shit up. Like in the song about wanting to be human, she gets a lot of stuff right like knowing what fire is and that it burns. And that we have feet and not flippers. How did she get that right, but everything else so wrong?

[spidersanctuary]

theory: a rat can fit into any opening that can fit its head

reality:

reality:

[rissalikelisa]

@indoorcattt

[indoorcattt]

lolol I hope my rats do this someday

[indoorcattt]

Way too obsessed with my mermaid hair

[wonderstruck]

It really drives me insane that I don’t know how people feel about me. Like am I nice??? Am I funny???? Am I mean???? Am I rude??? Am I obnoxious??? Am I dumb???? What am I????????????????????

[indoorcattt]

TL;DR

This past year has been one of the hardest years of my life, if not the hardest. Outside of all of the bullshit that was 2016, I had so many of my own personal struggles. I moved to another state right before Christmas of 2015. It was my first time really living on my own (I do not count my college years because I was not financially independent at that time). I moved in with my longtime boyfriend. We had been together for almost 8 years and finally got the opportunity to move in together. It was a lot of huge adjustments all at once. I started a new job the day after we moved here. We had about 2 weeks to get our shit packed and moved. Which was okay. But stressful. We got really lucky and found an amazing apartment. Then, my boyfriend had a really hard time finding a job here. And my job really didn't pay enough to support us. Then, my already poor health deteriorated. A lot. Go figure. Ended up needing surgery to diagnose endometriosis. My boyfriend managed to find a job right before I had to leave mine for said surgery. Yeah, I had to leave my job for my health. It was a temp job though so no big worries there. There were literally two days where my boyfriend and I had a job at the same time. During this same time I found out I have pelvic floor dysfunction. And the temp job + all the life stress intensified it a lot. So now I am doing physical therapy. It's been a really slow and painful road. I still do not have a job. And I am terrified to go back to work full time. So rn I will only apply to jobs that are straight dream job status. And for reasons I still don't know my dumb ass opened a crochet Etsy shop like a week after having a pretty major surgery. Totally don't regret that, though. Just in retrospect that was some crazy shit to do. I love my crochet. Crochet has been one of the few great things for me in this past year. I can't even imagine how I would've survived this year without it. There's more I could say about this shithole of a year, but I don't find it necessary. I still have a lot to be grateful for. I get to live with the love of my life. He is so wonderful and supportive of me and helps me get through these struggles. We both love it in Phoenix. Moving out improved my relationship with my parents a lot. My sister had a third child and she is beautiful. I was able to visit my terminal grandma. I found a passion outside of my science life that helped me find purpose when I was physically unable to work. My surgery was successful. I am confident that soon the PT will become more effective. I have my anxiety and depression mostly under control thanks to medication. I have been able to find incredible doctors here in Phoenix. My boyfriend has found a job that he enjoys. I can only hope that 2017 will be better for me personally. I know society will have many struggles to face, but I am hopeful that we are strong enough to get through these issues together.

[vangoghspeach]

I feel like people don’t say this enough. But if you are going through a dark moment in life, or just got passed it. I am so proud of you. Keep trying, you’ll get there. I’m here for you and I love you

[just-shower-thoughts]

When medication says “do not operate heavy machinery” they’re probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.

[danfreakindavis-deactivated2019]

if you had your first kiss at 13 that’s cool

if you’ve never kissed anyone and you’re 21 that’s cool too

don’t judge your life and your experiences based on the experiences of others because at the end of the day there are kids on broadway whose lives make yours look like shit no matter when you nerds get your first kiss

[xzvdfxgjftgykj]

the a in lgbtqa stands for allstar by smash mouth

[fksskakakflsrmrtemendkfmsskdn]

where’d you hear that

[getweirder]

someBODY ONCE TOLD ME

[weloveshortvideos]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Do not jingle their bell without their permission!

[royeah-deactivated20180326]

“This has to stop Karen! Im putting my paw down!”

[illmaticraj]

I love how the cat begins to show more and more emphasis

[adhighdefinition]

when youre just chillin and all of a sudden your clothes are a little too tight, the blanket too warm, the noise around you too loud and you just feel generally uncomfortable 

[truckpussy]

i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed

[his-shining-tears]

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