Hyperfixation is my Blood Type

Well, I'm actually O Negative, but who cares? Also called Elia (she/her), 29 yo, Reclusive Fall Girl™ through and through, which makes me the coolest type of basic.

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 3.1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

Hiya, Angels! 👋

Hope you're all doing well!

First of all, if you randomly came across this analysis, I guess you would expect me to entice you to read the first two parts beforehand... And you would be absolutely right.

"Obviosleh."

And since I'm nice [and because I fully understand the importance of saving people as much effort as possible to catch a larger audience - Duh 😇], here are the links for Part 1 and Part 2 🥰 so that everyone is on the same page as we dive into Part 3.

As I previously announced, we'll dissect our favorite pair's next two encounters today which are S1 3004 BC (Noa's Arch, The Flood) and S2 2500 BC (Job's ca-

[future me rereading this before dropping - Yep, nope, not happening just yet]

By doing that, I will try my best to prove to you the main point of my analysis I've revealed at the end of Part 2.

Repeat after me: Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic fiction.

[Yeah... here she is, already giving orders strong recommendations... I'm so Metatroning you right now.]

[And, since I'm at my best when I'm Metatroning people, this is the moment I'm gonna take to strongly recommend you to ingest the human matter of your choosing - Num num num.]

*In Crowley's voice* OOookaay, let's start!

3004 BC (Mesopotamia - Noa's Arch, The Flood)

In S1, Right before this encounter happens, the scene starts by making us, the audience, witness Aziraphale very badly lying to God about the flaming sword, an event that I already mentioned in part 2 because of the contrast it was considering he did tell the truth to a newly Demonized Crawley in comparison.

BUT [Yay, first "but" of Part 3! Are you having fun?], I really want to talk about this bit some more because that remains one of the scenes that, to this day, bugs me THE MOST in Good Omens as a whole.

To sum things up, you're telling me that GOD:

BOTHERED to pop in to ask one of their Angels a question.

That the said Angel seemed suuuuper anxious about from the start: looking everywhere aimlessly, almost asking them WHAT A DAMN SWORD EVEN WAS... basically giving away EVERY TELLTALE SIGN, both in their voice, mannerisms, and the simple fact that they were literally back to the wall, that they were about to LIE, proceeded to give God the UNanswerest answer EVER:

"Oh, must have, uh, must have put it down here somewhere."

And God just... just... LEFT THAT LYING ANGEL ALONE?! Just as quickly as they arrived?! No arguments, no further questions, no reckoning, just... NOTHING. HAPPENED?!

HUH?

WOT?!

WHO?!

WHO THE F DOES THAT?!

WHO DOES THAT?! That is a real question! WHO?!

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY. SENSE!

THE F-

I mea-

I'll never recover from it.

Oof. Okay, I'm fini-

I NEED an answer in Season 3! This is all I ask! I don't need the world to be saved, I don't need Alpha Centauri, man, I don't even need Aziracrow to reuni- [okay, no, can't say that, even if I like being dramatic, I take that back, this is all I want and all I've ever wanted, please, I just need to see Aziraphale in a white dress and Crowley demanding him to remove his 200 yo jacket on top of it because it "absolutely ruins it", please!] I. NEED. ANSWERS.

*clears her throat* Yeah. So. I'm perfectly fine with this scene. Moving on!

Aziraphale and Crawley meet in Mesopotamia during the year 3004 BC.

Crawley is the first to notice and to greet Aziraphale VERY enthusiastically. Which is, first of all, cute, but also an indicator that they haven't seen each other in a very long time, more precisely, since Eden (a thousand years prior to be exact). We know that because the first thing Crawley says after his "Hello, Aziraphale!" is the direct continuation of their conversation back in Eden:

"So, giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?"

Aziraphale answers what will never cease to bug me:

"The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again."

Which still peaks my interest because it could mean two things, and pretty different things at that:

One, God and Aziraphale never directly interacted again and nobody from the Main Office ever asked him about the flaming sword at all, which made Aziraphale believe that God never asked them anything about it.

OR

Two, God and Aziraphale DID directly interact again but the flaming sword subject has never been brought up once more.

Given the way this sentence is constructed and the emphasis on "actually mentioned it again," I'm more inclined to believe in the second option, which would be a very interesting thing to pounder:

Aziraphale might have a "privileged" relationship with God considering they probably interacted somewhat directly and more than once.

I'll go back to it later because we need to keep that in mind for the Job's case encounter.

Crawley says that it is "probably a good thing" until his attention is drawn to what is happening around them.

Then, they will debate the subject of the day, which is pretty much the same thing as before but formulated differently and condensed:

What is the point of Good and Bad? Do these concepts even have a meaning or not?

The main difference between the two previous encounters compared to this one is that this time, Aziraphale and Crawley are both active in the debate and do find common grounds here and there. It is shown cinematographically: they share the screen.

Aziraphale explains to Crawley that God got "a bit tetchy" and wants to drown the human race (well, at least the Middle Eastern humans) and Crawley takes that announcement astonishingly, which still aligns with his creator-at-heart persona.

"All of them?"

Insists Crawley.

Aziraphale first tries to mitigate what appears to Crawley as an extreme reaction by stating that Noah, his family, and their spouses will be spared but you can see that he, himself, doesn't really believe in what he tries to say.

"But they're drowning everybody else?"

Crawley really, really cannot comprehend what is happening.

"Not the kids. You can't kill kids."

This reminds us of their very first meeting because Crawley, here, judges God and tries to put himself in their place. Again.

Aziraphale answers with a worried nod: both because he is scared (his Fear of God cannot be anything but present at that moment) and because... he agrees.

And THEN, Crawley says that:

"Well, that's more the kind of thing you'd expect my lot to do."

Now that Aziraphale is more inclined to be part of the debate, Crawley tends to be more forthright about his opinion:

If God can do what Satan and his demons do, what is the point of separating the two? Are they, really, that different?

And, more so:

Is God a Good being anyway?

If Good or Bad exists, of course. [Oh, yes, I know I'm annoying. 100% aware. 😁]

To Aziraphale, it is clearly the case, and that is why he tries, again, to mitigate God's actions:

"The Almighty's going to put up a new thing, called a rainbow. As a promise not to drown everyone again."

A rainbow, huh? How interesting...

A rainbow is basically a demonstration of the union between Water and Fire. God and Satan. Good and Bad. Blah blah blah.

Almost as if...

Nahhh...

Almost as if they both needed to exist at all times!

Also, Aziraphale almost sounds like he is interpreting the rainbow as God's excuse for having a tantrum.

Which Crawley responds with a very sarcastic:

"How kind."

That's when Aziraphale cannot bring himself to follow Crawley's opinion any further (even if it is clearly shown he DOES agree, he is just SCARED to be).

After telling Crawley that he cannot judge God, that's when the "Ineffable" word is brought up again. This time, by Crawley. Because he already knows what Ineffable means to Aziraphale:

I am not important, or mighty enough to judge God and I am not supposed to. I am supposed to do what I am told, no questions asked.

Does it sound repetitive? Yeah, because it is 😅 That is Good Omen's main theme, after all.

This story is, as I mentioned before, a satire. Of religion, but also, of the concept of hierarchy, and the danger of ideologies as a whole. "Ineffable" is an ideology. "Ineffable" literally means "so emotionally overwhelming and powerful that you cannot translate into words"...

But Good Omens wants to bring you to ask yourself: cannot or don't want to?

Aziraphale is a character who doesn't want to think by himself because he is scared of a higher power (hierarchy). But he cannot just... stop thinking. Oppositely to Crowley, who kind of always, naturally had that ability.

Therefore, that makes it difficult for the both of them to understand each other [Oh yes, we'll talk about that further when we finally talk about that S2 finale that left us traumatized. According to my rhythm and how my Muse is an erratic bench, I'd say this conversation will occur in about a year or two.] Just as it is difficult for any of us to understand the people who think dramatically differently than us. Good Omens is an invitation to debate with people who do not share our views. That is how we stay open-minded and prompt to change.

Basically, folks: don't blindly stay in the boxes you're in.

Hierarchy is heavily criticized too, because it is a big cause - if not the main one - of people staying put in their respective boxes. Religion is a box among many others, hence the fact I prefer to say that GO mocks ideologies as a whole.

But hierarchy can be different things, and, more so, can use many different tones towards its subordinates: hierarchy can be nice, and affectionate (family, for instance - or not, definitely not always). Hierarchy can also be threatening, physically or mentally, or both (dictatorship, for instance).

Basically: hierarchy can either come from love or fear.

Or... well, both. That's how you get... propaganda? That is the most blatant example that came to my mind. We tend to associate love with good. We also tend to forget how often love has been used as a weapon.

Good and bad are...

[You know the end of the sentence, now, do you? If not, it means I haven't harassed you enough, so let me remind you]

Good and Bad are always mixed up. If they exist.

Anyway, I feel like I'm starting to digress.

.... Actually? I'm not done with that segment just yet.

[You right now.]

Hierarchy can also come from... habits. History. Some hierarchies that we are under today are still there because of how long they have been installed, but not really because they are that relevant anymore. I am not going to bring examples here because I do not want to offend anybody and because you are more than capable of interpreting this statement in a way that speaks to you.

We'll talk about this more when we'll reach the... Jim/Gabriel subject. [In about a year and a half.]

ANYWAY. Moving on to a lighter reflection:

Romantically speaking, Aziraphale remembers that encounter because Crawley displayed strong empathy and concern during that whole meeting.

He asked Aziraphale how he was after the flaming sword incident,

He could not comprehend how killing kids was okay,

He bothered to alert Noah about the escaping unicorn.

[Also, maybe, because damn - Also, it might come as a surprise to you who have seen me fangirling over Crowley for the last 3 parts but my favorite is actually Aziraphale 🤣]

After this conversation, The Flood starts and neither of them is protecting the other from it. Because of habits (after a thousand years spent on earth, they know this will not hurt any of them), but also as a way to tell us, the audience: they have started to realize they were in this together.

[Insert the "We're all in this together" Disney's High School Musical song right here... Yeah! I'm a Millennial, how could you possibly have guessed?!]

They are Equals.

Another really important topic in Good Omens, by the way, but it is time to dive into one of my favorite encounters between Aziraphale and Crowley and-

Huhhhh. I feel like analyzing two meetings including a whole episode in only one part might feel too heavy (to me, at least). So... I guess see you next time? 😅

Bye, Angels!

[No, no, I'm not saying you are "sssuckersss" okay? Just wanted a Crowley gif.]

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

Previous - Beginning - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #6.1]

The Supreme Archangel Aziraphale returns to Earth for the first time in five years to meet Beelzebub's replacement, the new Duke of Hell, aka... [Yep. I'm definitely not the first who explored this option, you just know where I'm getting at, don't you? 😎]

Aziraphale: *enters the Resurrectionist, a little worried* *does not show it, of course, he's supposed to emanate respect and authority* *has become quite good at it, actually* *salutes the pub owner* Hello, sir. I believe a seat has been reserved in the name of... Heavell, I believe. *understands the pun JUST NOW* *closes his eyes in pissed off by that new Duke of Hell already*

Pub owner: *uneasy* *rapid movements* Oh, hum... yes, yes, Heavell, of course, the person asked for the private area... one year ago? Or was it two? I am not sure, excuse me. Please follow me, Sir.

Aziraphale: *follows him in brand new clothes he learned to like and rearranges them* The... private area? *remembers the last time he came here* *feels something rather painful in his chest but chooses, as always, to ignore it* You have one, now?

Pub owner: Yes. It's been... three years or so? I no longer live upstairs since I reconnected with my dear wife Saddie so I thought it would be nice to... *has no idea why he gives so many unnecessary details* *stops* *clears his throat* Anyway, yes, I do have one! Mind the stairs, Sir, they are pretty narrow.

Aziraphale: *nods agreeably* *walks up the spiral stairs after him* And, have you... ever... met Mister... Heavell, before?

Pub Owner: Not that I know of, Sir. Have you not either?

Aziraphale: *calmly* *in theory* Not that I know of.

Pub Owner: Here we are... *opens a wooden door revealing a pretty cozy room with forest green sofas* Please be seated, you're in advance, I believe.

Aziraphale: Yes, I am. Thank you, Sir.

Pub Owner: Would you like a drink while you wait for your... contact?

Aziraphale: No, thank you, I will wait until they have arrived to make an order.

Pub Owner: Sure. *closes the door* *leaves*

Aziraphale: *sighs* Heavell, for Heaven's sake...

[Twenty-or-so minutes later]

Aziraphale: *looks at his pocket watch, again* *frowns* Of course, the Duke of Hell has to be late... Have they no decency?

Crowley: *pops on the sofa in a weird position because Crowley* *does not have his glasses on* *speaks casually* That's kind of the point of demons, Angel, don't you think?

Aziraphale: *startles* Ah! *recognizes Crowley* *eyes wide open* *strange movement at the corner of his lips that vanishes as quickly as it appeared* Oh. *severe final face* *sighs* Sir... Heavell, I presume?

Crowley: *grins* You sound as if you understood the joke only thirty minutes ago.

Aziraphale: *will never admit Crowley is totally in the right* *cold* No, I sound as if of course, I should have known it was you, of all demons, who came up with something as... lame.

Crowley: *presses his chest and opens his mouth, falsely offended* *sneers* Says the one who thought calling himself Mister Fell while being an Angel was funny. *theatrical arm movements* Come on!

Aziraphale: *wants to end the small talk asap* Can we, please, not dwell in the past? I'm not here for that, Mister-Heavell-Duke-of-Hell. I'm here to represent Heaven as we negotiate the terms of the upcoming War or Wars following Heaven's Second Coming.

Crowley: *half-amused half-annoyed by his attitude* *obviously chooses to be provocative* Wow, look at that, who's got already so full of himself with that new twinkly title of his?

Aziraphale: *eye-rolls with the subtlety of a 3yo* *colder than before* *also weirdly detached* Looks like you acquired quite the twinkly title as well.

Crowley: Yeahhhh... I still have no idea why they gave me this position, I haven't done anything to deserve i- *snaps his fingers* Oh, wait, that reminds me of someone... *runs his finger over his chin* Who can that possibly be, um... *tilts his head at Aziraphale* Oh! Found him. *waves sarcastically* Hell-o!

Aziraphale: *annoyed* So that is how low we've fallen, Crowley? Are you really going to spend the night mocking me?

Crowley: *looks at his nails* Well, you called me lame first, so...

Aziraphale: Could you stop acting like a child for two seconds and talk to me?

Crowley: I AM! *gradually gets up on the sofa* And that is already MORE THAN YOU DESERVE, YOU F- *points at him* You... *makes the most unsincere reverence* SuPrEmE ARSE-AnGeL...

Aziraphale: *hits the table with the palm of a hand* You're the Duke of Hell, for Heaven's sake, sit the fuck down and act like it!

Crowley: *more theatrical arm and leg movements* Oh, oh, of course, happy to oblige, my Lord... *walks until he is very close to Aziraphale* *does not sit back down though*

Both: *weird low-angle look*

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes for a little while* *sighs* *looks back at Crowley* Now, if you please could let me know when your tantrum has finished, your Dukeship, that would be lovely.

Crowley: *severe look* *suddenly grins* Actually? I'm not here to talk. I've never been here to do that.

Aziraphale: *raises one eyebrow* Huh?

Crowley: *abruptly jumps on Aziraphale with a human-sized sack and traps him inside* *dry voice* I'M HERE TO ANGELNAP THE CURRENT SUPREME ARCHANGEL, SILLY BOI!

Aziraphale: *has not the time to pop himself out of this situation that Crowley already popped both of them in Hell*

To be continued...

[Yep, I'm uncool like that. Nope, I do not regret a thing.]

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do not necessarily follow one another at all - OBVIOUSLY THOUGH 6.2 WILL FOLLOW 6.1 EVENTS I'M NOT THAT DEMONICAL OKAY?!]

Previous -Beginning - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[My humble contribution to the meme mania surrounding @neil-gaiman having pyromaniac tendencies]

Featuring: the reference you SHOULD understand, it was not that long ago, folks 😂😂😂

Also featuring: me, late to the party but here I am with my zero to none Photoshop abilities

(Hi, by the way 👋)

Just came by to drop this and disappear as quickly as I popped.

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #5]

[FYI: Aziraphale can be jealous too, he's just more subtle about it. Well, "subtle"... ]

Aziraphale: *gets out of the Bookshop to take his morning coffee even though he does not sleep*

[Noises of an old, noisy heavy-duty motorcycle happening]

Aziraphale: *looks at the Sky and starts praying**to himself* Please, do not be him...

Frankster: *stops his motorcycle abruptly next to Aziraphale* Az Fell! Oy! How are you doing, my mate?

[How to even describe Frankster who does not exist in the GO universe at all? Well, people have called him that since he was a teenager because he loves pranks and his name is Frank (I KNOW, what a shock?!), he's fifty-something, he's always riding his dear motorcycle he calls Bow (as an hommage to David Bowie, of course), pretty handsome, very tall, gay AF black man who always wears the brightest indigo blue leather jacket you've ever seen. Can make any guy his bro until... some drinks happen. To summarize.]

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes in disappointed**discreetly sighs before turning to him* Ummm, hi, Frank! I'm doing pretty well, thank you, how... how about you?

Frankster: *swiftly gets out of Bow**grunts for show* Heartbroken, but, y'know... life happens. So. Now is the time to shoot my shot... Have you seen dear old Anthony, recently?

Aziraphale: *turning red**reminds himself that Crowley is inside the Bookshop as they speak* Huh... I am... not... sure...?

Frankster: Come on! You, of all people, surely have an idea where I can find him!

Aziraphale: I-I...

Frankster: Don't be like that, mate! I have a bottle of the Talisker Expedition Oak. The 43-year-old one. We've sworn to each other we would drink it together if one of us ever laid a hand on this beauty! Time for me to invite him over and claim my prize.

Aziraphale: Your... prize...?

Frankster: *open laughter* Az, come on, those delicate ears of yours are not suited to hear whatever unholy thoughts I have kept in my mind for the past six years, so don't make me!

Aziraphale: Y-you... you mean that- I mean that- *gathers his thoughts* Is Crowley... aware of your... *clears his throat* intentions?

Frankster: *reassuring* Mahhh, He has to be! You know me, I'm not the subtle type, Angel! *aims for Aziraphale's hair to scrub them*

Aziraphale: *dodges skillfully in the-man-has-tried-to-do-that-for-years-and-occasionally-succeeded*[well, "skillfully", hum... he actually tripped in the process, but...] *also holds himself from sighing as he hates whenever Frank calls him that* D-Don't! *rearranges his clothes* do that, Frank, please! *unconsciously taps his feet onto the ground like a 5yo*

Frankster: *laughs* Too bad I'm more into the thin dark duke ones instead of the fluffy beige librarians, right, Az?

Aziraphale: *barely understands even though he knows every language there is, as or ever been**confused noise and eye contact*

Frankster: *super amused by his mannerisms, as always**leans in*

Aziraphale: *recoils a bit*

Frankster: *takes him by the arm to draw him closer*

Aziraphale: *uncomfortable AF**cannot yell for help because he knows that Crowley will appear out of nowhere in 0.1 millisecond**gasps instead* F-Frank!

Frankster: *whispers while releasing him* Az, you're not on my menu tonight... Anthony is. Are you sure you have no idea where I can find our favorite Gothic king?

Aziraphale: *cannot possibly restore the truth now**has started to worry Crowley might get outside because he is taking too long to come back compared to the last few days**embarassed laugh* I... have NO idea where Crowley is right now. *not-so-angelic-but-angelic-enough-for-most-humans face*

Frankster: *sighs* Bugger. Is he planning on visiting you any time soon? He talks about you a lot, you know? For a while, I really, really thought you were a twosome, haha! *taps Aziraphale's shoulder a bit too strongly*

Aziraphale: *unsteady**also startled**and blushy* Ahhh... you... you did?

Frankster: Yep, you two could have fooled the gayest man on Earth... Oh wait, that's me! *loudest laughter*

Aziraphale: *so stressed Crowley might have recognized that laugh**considers to present Gabriel to Frank for a second**wonders why would he ever do something like that?**confused ethereal entity**odd-yet-always-cute angelic smile*

Frankster: Az, can we be honest for a second?

Aziraphale: *raises an eyebrow**offended* Of course, we can! *has not been honest for the past five minutes or so but it is not as if someone was keeping scores up there, don't they?*

Frankster: You would save me a lot of trouble if you just told me you have a crush on him... *shows his super-expensive white teeth* Me, of all people would get it! Anthony might be the sexiest man alive besides us two, so that would only be fair.

Aziraphale: *taken by surprise**hiccups* Oh, oh... Um... Ahhh... *randomly balances his arms* I-I mean... Of... Of course not! *smiles in absolutely-not-suspicious*

Frankster: *tilts his head**smirks* Come onnnnn, Az, you can tell me! *leans closer**hands on both Aziraphale's shoulders* This will stay between us, I promise!

Aziraphale: *removes himself from the situation by running away a little* N-no! It is not like that! W-we are not like that, I swear!

Frankster: *stares in super doubtful**keeps the brightest smile* Az, my mate, you really should clear out those feelings of yours... *tilts his head again and adds some winking to it* before I get the man first, you know? Friendly competition, Angel, what do you say?

Aziraphale: *frowns for a second**does not realize*

Frankster: *eyes widen**playful* Wow, maybe you do not plan on playing it fair after all! Ahhhh... Always look out for the innocent ones, right? They are the real Dark Horses!

Aziraphale: I-I... I really don't- I really don't know what you mean, Frank! Really!

Frankster: Really? Really really? *laughs hysterically* Ahhhh, ANGEL, you are ADORABLE! So adorable that I don't have the heart to break yours! Wait a second... *opens Bow's rainbow truck**takes the bottle**considers to throw it at Aziraphale**remembers how clumsy he can be**crushes Aziraphale's bust with it instead*

Aziraphale: *out of breath*

Frankster: Let me have the honor of being the most generous Cupid this planet has ever encountered.

Aziraphale: Oh, n-n-n-no, I-I... I can't possibly accept th-

Frankster: Please. This is not for free, Angel! I do have a condition...

Aziraphale: *scared again* What... is it?

Frankster: *winks* I want the third sexiest man alive to spend the night with me, of course.

Aziraphale: *does. not. compute*

Frankster: *leans closer, actually close to Aziraphale's neck and ear**whispers more seductively* That means you, silly.

Aziraphale: *startles so much he actually jumps* AhhhAHH I...

Frankster: *laughs hysterically. Again.**wants to tap Aziraphale's back but reminds himself about the bottle right before the impact**gives him a softer, more serious smile* Easy, Az, I was messing with you! My only condition is to be invited to your wedding. No, actually, I want to officiate it. I still have my license I got online in the early 2000s, remember? I'd be happy to tell a large audience how I made you happen! In the meantime... *sits back on Bow* Take care of that dirty punk for me - and of the bottle. *starts the engine* SEE YOU AROUND, MISTER FELL, SAY HELLO TO ANTHONY FOR MEEEE!

Aziraphale: *waves from afar**still unsure what just happened**wants to scratch his neck**almost makes the bottle fall to the ground in the process**heart stops**hugs the bottle to make sure it does not happen twice*

[The Bookshop door opens abruptly]

Crowley: *looks at Aziraphale incredulously* Is it me or did I just hear Frankster's laughter? *looks at what Aziraphale has in his arms**eyes widens behind his glasses**runs in Christmassy* OH MY G- Screw it. OH MY GOD, IS THAT-

Aziraphale: *shyly* I-I think it is?

Crowley: *takes the bottle from Aziraphale without almost any care* [I say "almost" because this is still Aziraphale we're talking about, any other being would have been murdered in the process] THAT DIRTY BITCH! HE FOUND ONE! *looks around them, more and more confused* Wait. Has he left already?

Aziraphale: *hides his guilt behind his cute face* Ahhh, y-yes! *attempts to smile normally* He hummmm... He was in a rush and just came by to drop this, I have no idea why! *Quirinus Quirrell's laugh* [Admit it, you're getting used to it! This is my trademark, now, I guess 😂]

Crowley: *suspicious gaze**eventually shrugs his shoulders**looks at Aziraphale with pure joy* I know this is not your thing but you NEED to taste that beauty when I'll pop that cork of hers, Angel.

Aziraphale: Of... Of course! *smiles with a little more ease*

Crowley: *brightest smile**kinda giggles?**rushes back to the Bookshop in case the elements might attack the super rare Talisker bottle*

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do not necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous -Beginning - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #4]

[Also called: Crowley gets j-e-a-l-o-u-ssss]

Right before Aziraphale leaves for Edimburg, ready to get inside the Bentley

Maggie: Oh, Mister Fell, wait! *runs towards him*

Aziraphale: Yes, Maggie? Hello?

Maggie: I just wanted to tell you again how grateful I am for... You know... *awkward shoulder balancing and smile* Not collecting the rent.

Aziraphale: *soft smile of an Angel* My pleasure, Maggie! No need to thank me everyday 😊

Maggie: You... You don't get it, do you?

Aziraphale: I... I'm not sure, now?

Maggie: Nobody does that anymore... People like you, I mean. They do no exist anymore. People are more like... your... *unsure but tries* boyfriend.

Aziraphale: Crowley? Oh, no, Maggie, you've got the wrong idea, Crowley is a very nice... *very long pause* friend... of mine? *shy smile*

Maggie: F-friend of yours? Oh, oh my, I am so sorry, I've... got the wrong idea, um... It's just that... I see him with you so often, and you are- and I just figured- Nevermind.

Aziraphale: *his smile starts to display some hints of regret without him realizing*

Maggie: Listen, Mister Fell, it is most probably not my place, but... In case you wanted to... You know, live something less... "friendly", I might know someone who might be... interested?

Aziraphale: *sudden flashes of Maggie's grandmother hitting on him* O-Oh? You do?

Maggie: You... Remember Mister Brown?

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, I saw him yesterday, he asked me to organize the next Monthly Meeting!

Maggie: Didn't he ask... Anything else?

Aziraphale: Not anything of substance I can remember of. Are you... implying he would have wanted to... hum... ask something else to me? *is never comfortable about these things*

Maggie: I think he likes you very much. And... I am sorry to say, again, certainly not my place, but... he might be a... better fit than your... friend.

Aziraphale: *embarrassed laugh* Maggie, truly, you've got the wrong idea about Crowley! He's the nicest person I've ever met *in over 6000 years which is saying something* and the best...*always marks a pause there for some reason* friend I could ever wish for!

Maggie: I understand, really, it's just that you seem... lonely, sometimes?

Aziraphale: Do I?

Maggie: Trust me, I know the feeling!

Aziraphale: *sympathetic smile* Nothing from... Nina?

Maggie: I'd rather not talk about it, it's... painful. Anyway, um... If you wanted to... Talk some more with Mister Brown, I'm pretty sure he would be very pleased!

Aziraphale: Well, I-

Maggie: *runs without warning* Oh, I-I really have to go, have a good trip, Mister Fell!

Aziraphale: *awkward wave**gets in the car* Oh, hello, there. I'm sure we're gonna get along just perfectly! *taps the steering wheel amicably*

Bentley: *activates a random song the second Aziraphale is seated and ready to go*

Oh, how wrong can you be?

Oh, to fall in love was my very first mistake,

How was I to know,

I was far too much in love to see oh

Jealousy,

Look at me now...

The next morning, the Bookshop's bell rings

Mr Brown: Mister Fell? Hello?

Jim: Hello, I'm Jim, Mister Fell's assistant! How can I help you not buying a book?

Mr Brown: Actually, I was hoping I could see Mister Fell himself, if that is...

Crowley: *arrives in style* Mister Fell is not here, who's ask- *stops and looks at him from afar* Oh. You, again? *is unsure why this last word came out of his mouth but still did*

Mr Brown: *startled* Ah, it is... you... Mister...?

Crowley: *reaches his glasses and puts them on**smirks and walks towards him* Crowley. Hello.

Mr Brown: I-I forgot to ask yesterday, you are...?

Crowley: *raises an eyebrow* I... am...?

Mr Brown: *tries to express himself with just the eyes*

Crowley: *does not get it**at all**makes some waves with his chin to signify he needs more details*

Mr Brown: Maybe... that was a mistake...

Crowley: *clueless Demon* A... mistake? What? The monthly meeting?

Mr Brown: N-no! Nothing to do with the monthly meeting! I...

Crowley: You wanted to see Mister Fell about... Not the meeting? Why?

Mr Brown: I... This is... *sighs* Can we, please, stop beating around the bush?

Crowley: *thinks he somewhat starts to get it but remains unsure* Uhhh... Sure...

Mr Brown: Is Mister Fell in a... relationship at the moment?

Crowley: *hesitates for much longer than he expected* Not... that I know of? And, well, I certainly... would know?

Mr Brown: Wait... You're not his... On-and-off partner?

Crowley: *feels something unexpected growing besides astonishment**is it... anger?* I am most certainly not.

Mr Brown: Oh... OH! G-good! I mean, okay! Are you his... cousin or something?

Crowley: *laughs* Hell no! *is tempted to remove his glasses for some reason*

Mr Brown: Business partner?

Crowley: Sort... of... speak?

Mr Brown: Oh, okay, hum... Can you please not tell Mister Fell about our encounter? I feel like I need to ask him out myself, you see?

Crowley: *finally totally gets it* Sorry. Ask him out? As in... Ask him for a date? *chuckles* Oh, no! Angel doesn't date, ever! *has heard the joke of the next three centuries*

Mr Brown: *gets offended**and cold**well, at least he tries* I-I'm sorry to say but that is not on you to decide, is it?

Crowley: *stops laughing out of nowhere and feels the anger taking the lead**approaches him menacingly* Or maybe, just maybe... it is?

Mr Brown: B-but, you said-

Crowley: *even colder voice* I know what I said, I just don't believe you heard me, so let me clarify... *takes him by the collar*

Mr Brown: *gasps*

Crowley: Mister Fell... doesn't... date. *ends up with a creepy smile*

Mr Brown: *muster some courage**looks at Crowley's hands on his vest**looks back at Crowley's glasses* What if he wants to?

Crowley: *gritted teeth* I assure you: he doesn't.

Mr Brown: How would you know that?!

Crowley: I just do.

Jim: *is back or maybe has never left, nobody knows* Uhhhh... Do you need... assistance in anything?

Crowley: *releases Mr Brown with the heaviest, most threatening smirk**turns at Jim* Can you show Mister Brown the exit? We're done here.

Mr Brown: But I...

Crowley: *turns back at him**accidently nose-on-nose* Ou-T.

Mr Brown: *recoils**frowns his brows**but remains intimidated* I guess you have some unfinished business to attend to, Mister Crowley.

Crowley: *looks at his nails* Yeahhh, I most certainly do. Taking care of Mister Fell's things takes such a long time indeed!

Mr Brown: *to Jim* I know the exit, thank you. Good... *to both* Have a... good day.

Crowley: *indifferent* Oh, I will. Taking care of...

Mr Brown: Mister Fell's things. Yes, I caught that.

Jim: Have a good day! *waves enthusiastically*

[The door closes]

Mr Brown: God, these two really need to talk!

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #3]

That first time Aziraphale visited Crowley's flat (aka: The day Aziraphale met his other children-in-law: Crowley's plants 🌿)

[Future me after ending writing this bit: STOP RIGHT HERE! I didn't expect it to end up being a tad smutty rather than cute but it did so if you don't want to read that: ABHORT MISSION! NOW!]

Crowley: *miracles the door of his flat to open by snapping his fingers**does a reverence* After you, Angel.

Aziraphale: *a little shy* Oh, er, thank you. *already looks everywhere**echoing voice* It is... uhhh... very... rocky. What am I hearing?

[Okay, I might need to precise a thing or two here: in my mind, Crowley's flat somewhat looks like a fancy/modern vivarium, with "human"/entity furniture, natural rock walls, a river flowing all over it and, of course, the humidity that should go with it. Basically, imagine the show's flat with more natural elements... yes, a Despicable me/The Incredibles' villain apartment, exactly!]

Crowley: *enters as well**merely trips for some reason**looks at Aziraphale to make sure he didn't notice**he didn't**acts cool* Oh, that would be the river. And what does "rocky" mean, exactly?

Aziraphale: *looks at him* Wait. You have a river in your flat?

Crowley: *holds himself from sighing* Yeah. I have a river in my flat. Don't make it weird.

Aziraphale: *looks around to find the river's "source"**still cannot believe it* You miracled a river in your flat.

Crowley: *starts being annoyed* Yes, Angel, I miracled a river in my flat. Can we move on or do I need to miracle a lake in the living room to make you talk about something remotely worth speaking about?

Aziraphale: *has started to follow the river to the next room being... Crowley's office, probably?* Annnd you've never had... paperwork... for that?

Crowley: *is closer than Aziraphale expected**watches him startle**super brief inquisitious look* No water bill, so Hell's accountants are pretty pleased, actually. *removes his jacket and throws it on his office chair**same goes for his glasses that finds their way to the nearest plant*

Aziraphale: Oh, o... allright. *shy smile*

Crowley: And are you?

Aziraphale: Hum?

Crowley: Allright.

Aziraphale: *takes a long time to contemplate the question**also, Crowley stays closer to him than usual* Well, we saved the World...

Crowley: Yep, classic Sunday.

Aziraphale: *sad brows*... And my Bookshop has burned down.

Crowley: I know. Sorry it happened, Angel. My Bentley has burned down as well.

Aziraphale: *feels suddenly so guilty* Oh, yes... Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't quite found the occasion to-

Crowley: We can still pop into places until I find a way to repair her. We should be fine.

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, you're right. But, until then, I think we should... um... lay low for a while?

Crowley: Lay low... here?

Aziraphale: Y-yes? *blushes**scared look* I-I mean, only if, uh, if that is okay for you, of course, I-I didn't mean to impo-

Crowley: Angel, I've spent more hours that we could ever count in your Bookshop, it's only fair.

Aziraphale: *little smile* O-okay.

Crowley: *taps his shoulder in a friendly-yet-somewhat-awkward way*

Both: *echange a weird look*

Crowley: Don't think too much about it. *is, himself, thinking too much about it*

Aziraphale: *clears his throat* So, hum... can you... give me... a tour? *tries to smile normally**fails?*

Crowley: Oh, sure thing. Follow me. *one of his arms automatically slides behind one of Aziraphale's shoulders and gently drags him elsewhere*

Aziraphale: *does not remember how to walk properly for a second**looks at Crowley* Ah, sorry.

Crowley: *confused* Nevermind. So. We just leave the office and... Where do you want to go? Left? Right?

Aziraphale: *even more confused* I don't know, hum... Left? *shrugs his shoulders in a shy way*

Crowley: *holds himself from thinking how cute it is for approximately 0.2 miliseconds**smiles more genuinely* Left it is, come on. *Takes Aziraphale's hand without warning*

Aziraphale: Cro-

Crowley: *releases Aziraphale hand as if nothing happened except the fact he felt Aziraphale's heart beating so fast he could feel it at the end of his Angel's figertips**clears his throat* These are... My biggest pride. *looks at his plants with dad eyes**hands on his hips*

Aziraphale: *is looking for a mirror to check if his blushing is obvious or super obvious**cannot find one**looks at the plants* Oh, Crowley, they are most lovely!

[One of the plants shows its gratitude by making a red flower bloom right in front of Aziraphale]

Aziraphale: *approaches it**looks at Crowley* Did you do that?

Crowley: *raising an eyebrow* I thought you did. *suddenly looks at his plants with utmost severity*

[The plants starts shaking]

Aziraphale: *what-now face*

Crowley: *angry AF**threatening mode status: hella activated* So, you're telling me you could grow flowers... THE... ENTIRE... TIME?!

Aziraphale: Cr-Crowley, stop, you're scaring them!

Crowley: *gritted teeth* Apparently, I didn't scare them ENOUGH. *theatrical gestures* What did I tell you all? GROW BETTER! Is that so difficult to understand? Angel! I'm talking to you! IS IT?

Aziraphale: *does movements but eventually stops every single one of them right in the middle* I...

Crowley: *approaches Aziraphale*

Aziraphale: *recoils*

Crowley: *catches Aziraphale's arm and pulls him closer**whispers* Angel, I need you to back me up on this.

Aziraphale: *torn between blushing and being intimidated**as always, ends up doing both**whispers back**kinda panicking* I do not know what you expect me to do, Crowley!

Crowley: *tries not to focus on the fact their temples are touching*Just follow my lead.

Aziraphale: *removes himself from the temple-to-temple situation**unsure but pretends to have 100% understood* O-okay. *awkward thumbs up*

Crowley: *out loud**starts pacing* I am so, SO disappointed in you lot. *points at Aziraphale* And he is disappointed in you, too!

Aziraphale: *says nothing*

Crowley: *looks back at Aziraphale* Angel.

Aziraphale: Oh! Yes! I... I am... very, um... *tries to frown his eyebrows in a threatening way* displeased by your... attitude!

Crowley: Exactly! And you don't know me when I'm disappointed he is disappointed. *marks a pause trying to remember something important**remembers* This is Aziraphale, by the way.

Aziraphale: *waves in New Girl arriving in High School in the middle of the school year* Hello?

Crowley: And if HE is disappointed, oh, I swear to you, come Hell or High Water, I will make anything responsible REGRET IT 'til the end of their days.

Aziraphale: There's no need to be- *catches Crowley's threatening look starting to turn at him and him only**too loud* HE IS A DEMON, YOU SEE? He knows things I could never even imagine!

Crowley: Exactly! And now, time to make an example out of one of you! *aims for a smaller plant and lively grabs it*

Aziraphale: *follows him with little stressed steps* Are you sure about that, Crowley?

Crowley: *high-pitched voice**still theatrical* DO YOU HEAR THAT?! How sweet of him, but you know me and how much I am not. Swee-t. *gets out of the plant room**yells from afar* THIS IS FOR HIDING THINGS FROM ME, IT'S GOING TO BE SO PAINFULL!

Aziraphale: *still following but looking everywhere to not hit a wall or something* C-Crowley, can we talk about this?

Crowley: *do not pay attention to him* YOU'RE GONNA HEAR THINGS YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD IN YOUR WILDEST NIGHTMARES!

[The little plant shakes like crazy in Crowley's hand]

Aziraphale: *is an Angel after all**unsure but tries to take the plant out of Crowley's hands*

Crowley: *higher-pitched, scandalized voice* Wot the Hell are you doing?! *surprised yet swiftly turns to avoid him*

Aziraphale: *almost falls to the floor*

Crowley: *catches him by a bit of his almost-two-centuries-old jacket, avoiding Aziraphale's face to hit the floor 0.5 seconds before impact**still holds the little plant in his other hand*

Aziraphale: *blinks way too much looking at the cold floor* Cro-Crowley!

Crowley: Damn you, Angel! *pulls him back up**reproachful voice*

Aziraphale: I am... SO sorry... I just...

Crowley: Why did you do that?!

Aziraphale: I just... I don't...

Crowley: *grunts**quickly walks away*

Aziraphale: *follows him clumzily until, oh, that's the kitchen*

Crowley: *opens the window*

Aziraphale: *expects him to dramatically throw the plant away*

Crowley: *puts the plant next to a dozen others on the balcony*

Aziraphale: You-

Crowley: *puts a finger on Aziraphale's lips* Shhhh.

Aziraphale: *looks at Crowley's finger**blushes*

Crowley: *yells back**looks for something in a random cupboard* OOOKAY, TIME FOR THE DOUBLE CHAINSAW TREATMENT! *activates the machines*

Aziraphale: *recoils, a hand on his lips*

Crowley: *gives him a "help me here" look*

Aziraphale: *awkward winking**dramatic ethereal being* OH NO, CROWLEY, DON'T DO THIS! I'M BEGGING YOU!

Crowley: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET, ANGEL! *evil laugh*

Aziraphale: C-CROWLEY, NO, PLEASE DO NOT THROW THIS PLANT AWAY!

Crowley: *takes an empty flower pot**throws it out of the window*

[Noises of a car accident down there]

Aziraphale: *out of his role* Crowley!

Crowley: *shrugs his shoulders**uncertain**checks out* Uh, it's... nothing, Angel!

Aziraphale: *pushes him away without thinking* I don't believe y- CROWLEY!

[Evident scene of two cars having collided because of one having its windshild abruptly crushed by a random flower pot happening]

Crowley: *awkward smile* Well... We saved the world, so... Two cars, I mean, *little misplaced laugh* It's not... that serious, right?

Aziraphale: *points at the exterior**severe out of nowhere* Repair this! Now!

Crowley: *astonished* You... wait a se- sure. *reverses time to avoid a silly car accident**the flower pot has vanished though**hand on a hip**ready to have his revenge* Satisfied?

Aziraphale: *feels the balance shifting between the two of them again**knows he is in trouble**recoils* I-I didn't mean to... Y-you know... say it like that, I...

Crowley: *walks towards him in a snakey way* Oh, really? Because, from where I stand, it feels like you just gave me an order, Angel.

Aziraphale: *not-so-reassured, high-pitched voice* Nooo, of course not, I-I would nev- *bumps into a statue representing... two angels wrestling?!**cannot go further**looks at Crowley, alarmed* Well, I mean, I might have- but you- *weird worried noise* uhhh...

Crowley: *enjoys this way too much**gets closer* Do you really need me to explain how this is supposed to work, Angel?

Aziraphale: *Quirinus Quirrel's laugh* I-I-I... I really didn't mean to- *gasps*

Crowley: *has just taken Aziraphale by the back of his neck**smirks* Of course not, but you still did, and I wonder... *draws him closer until their noses touch**lower his voice* How do you intend to make amends to me, Angel?

Aziraphale: *tries to get away**reminds himself of the statue - how weird of a decorating choice is that?**looks at Crowley intensely* I-I... have... no idea, I...

Crowley: *gets even closer to the point they can only feel each other's breaths now* Hum? Yes? Does not sound like the beginning of an apology I'm expecting, Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: *never heard his name being said like that**heart racing**eye flicker*

[They exchange a rather ineffable gaze.]

Crowley: *smirks again**puts his lips on his Angel's and talks on them* This is your last chance to stop this before I lose my mind.

Aziraphale: Y-you... *gasps like a shojo character**impressed eyes**weird arm movements**almost inaudible little yell* Aaahhh...

Crowley: *intense gaze**whispers* Don't. Panic. You knew what would happen before stepping a foot in here, right?

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes for a second**tries to gather some courage**looks back at Crowley**mumbles* Yes... yes, I did.

Crowley: Finally. *tightens his grip on Aziraphale's neck and presses his lips on his*

Aziraphale: *opens widly his eyes for a second before closing them too hard**indulges with abandon**invites Crowley to press harder by doing it himself*

Crowley: *grabs Aziraphale's hair**time for some tongue action*

Aziraphale: *moans in unholy**grabs Crowley's scarf to pull him closer if that is even possible*

God: And it was possible, obviously! Look at them, Lucy! Look! Satan: How many times have you replayed that moment, exactly? God: *defensive* Nearly two hundred! In other words, nothing! *laughs in Naughty Almighty* Satan: *before leaving* You're gonna owe my lot's channel a crazy, crazy fee this month. God: AND I REGRET NOTHING!

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

[acheemient]

Kisses I want between Crowley and? Aziraphale in Season 3:

1. When they see each other again for the first time since the end of Season 2, Aziraphale just plants one on Crowley, Doctor Who/Rose Tyler style:

2. Mid-battle, Aziraphale and Crowley fighting back to back and we get one like this:

3. After kissing, Crowley throws out a cheeky, "Wait a minute. Angels don't kiss like that." And Aziraphale responds with, "Oh, yes, they fucking do."

I will take any or all of the above, please and thank you.

[ineffablydelighted]

Hello @acheemient, you've awakened a monster so that is on you and on you only.

[People who are used to hate me will now hate you just the same. We're on the same boat now. I'm the companion you haven't chosen.]

I just want the infamous Kate Sharma/Anthony Bridgerton tense scene [The S02 E04 one] but applied to Aziraphale and Crowley, like:

Imagine. Season 3.

Aziraphale has tried his best to become a ruthless Supreme Archangel (being heartbroken helping immensely) and has become so much so that even the Archangel Michael avoids getting in his way.

Aziraphale has convinced himself Crowley only wanted him to be the Demon who tempts away an Angel and that he never really cared for him.

He eventually returns to Earth to personally kickstart Second Coming and runs into Crowley in his old Bookshop he thought was abandoned.

He acts all cold and impossible to reach but Crowley tries to break his "armor" again.

[Okay, you inspired me so much I just HAD to write the whole thing. YOUR. FAULT. ENTIRELY.]

Aziraphale: *enters his Bookshop* *turns on only one led candelabrum**is surprised the place is not dusty*

Crowley: *arrives in a rush, ready to fight some mafia**freezes**acts cold* It's... you. What are you doing here, if I may ask, Supreme Archangel? *says his new title super sarcastically*

Aziraphale: *acts even colder* Why are you so surprised I'm here? This is my shop, after all.

Crowley: *paces intensely* When will you return back Up?

[They exchange a first angry/confused gaze.]

Crowley: Are you here for the Second Coming? Are you here to destroy the only place we've ever loved, Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, that is exactly why I'm here and you do not get to call me that anymore.

Crowley: *angrily mumbles* I call you the Hell that I want. *confused* And you're now sure this is part of the Ineffable Plan? That this is approved? The world crashes down, and... the War starts?

Aziraphale: Why would that concern you? You always dwelled on going to Alpha Centauri anyway.

Crowley: Forget me for a second. How have they brainwashed you so much up there? Is this what you want? *insists louder**approaches* Is THIS what YOU want, Angel?

Aziraphale: *brief movement of recoil*

Crowley: *approaches anyway* Or is it about me? Are you mad at me?

Aziraphale: *angry but his voice starts to tremble* Not everything is about you, Crowley!

Crowley: Tell me what happened, then! What did they do to you? What did I do for a whole planet to be destroyed as punishment?

Aziraphale: *muster all the coldness he can* Because... *eventually snaps* You kissed me! A demon! You kissed me, tempting me away from my real mission! If you would ever have accepted me for who I was, you would never have done that, you would just have let me leave!

Crowley: *snaps as well* You do realize I could say the same about you, right?!

Aziraphale: What? What did I ever do to you?!

Crowley: You... *approaches a bit more* You tried to make me an Angel again! Without my consent. Without ever realizing that is the last thing I would ever want for myself... And somehow, you hate ME for it. *ends with gritted teeth*

Aziraphale: *feels guilty in a closeted drawer of his mind**Still proceeds to answer angrily* You know what? I do. I hate you. You're a Demon, Crowley, we're on opposite sides, how many times will I have to tell you that before you finally grasp it?

[And then, the atmosphere suddenly shifts as Crowley makes two more steps with a new expression on his face.]

[Also, let's keep the Moulin Rouge-sounding violins in the back, I love them.]

Crowley: You're right, Angel. I am a Demon. *makes another two steps*

Aziraphale: *tries to stay cold* And we are... on opposite sides.

Crowley: And we are *only staring at Aziraphale's lips now* *whispers* on opposite sides...

[Silence. Crowley approaches further.]

Aziraphale: *struggles to breathe* D-don't... consider... doing that... again...

Crowley: *seductive/angsty voice* Say you do not care for me anymore.

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes in almost total reddition**Still tries to fight it anyway**heart racing*

[Both are temple to temple now, almost lips to lips as well]

Crowley: *calculately whispers right between Aziraphale's ear and neck so he can feel his breath* Tell me you feel nothing and I will walk away.

Aziraphale: I... I feel... *tries to evacuate but brings himself back to him**cannot say it*

Crowley: Yeah... *closing the last distance between them**victorious smile* That's what I thought, Supreme Archangel. *takes Aziraphale by the back of his neck and kisses him*

Aziraphale: *resists for less than a tenth of a second**gives in passionately*

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #2]

Crowley: You can stay at my place, if you like.

Aziraphale: *glimpse of a smile* I don't... I don't think my side would like that. *regretfully looks away*

Crowley: *brows drooping* You don't have a side anymore... Neither of us do. We're on our own side.

Aziraphale: I mean... You're not... I know you're not wrong, but-

Crowley: If the Almighty really thought our existence and our actions to be against the Ineffable Plan, we would have been thunderstruck on the spot, right in front of everybody, don't you think?

Aziraphale: I... *swallows* I guess you're right...

Crowley: Compared to saving the World with me, dossing down my flat does not seem like such a crime, does it?

Aziraphale: Are you... *focusses on him* Are you... tempting me?

Crowley: *sudden smirk* If that is the story you want to tell them, I'll allow it, Angel.

Aziraphale: *mild blushing* Come on! Answer me! Are you?

Crowley: *sighs* Depends on the perspective, I guess. As a Demon to an Angel, I am not.

Aziraphale: What does that mean?

Crowley: Whatever you like.

*They exchange a long look*

Crowley: *aims a hand at Aziraphale's hair* *takes a strand and makes it slide around his index* Did I ever tell you how much I like those curls?

Aziraphale: *has forgotten how to inhale* Wh-What... are... you...

Crowley: *removes the hand* Breathe, Angel.

Aziraphale: *does what he is told* Oh, yes, good, thanks for reminding me! *embarrassed laugh* *face super duper blushy*

Crowley: *looks at the sky hiding a huge, victorious smile* *eventually cannot hold himself from chuckling*

*They look back at each other*

Crowley: *Tilts his head* So. My place?

Aziraphale: *looks away* I just realized: I've never even seen it.

Crowley: *Imitating Aziraphale with scary accuracy* What would my side say?

Aziraphale: *looks back at him with a scandalized gaze* Don't... don't do that!

Crowley: *changes the subject* The bus arrives.

Aziraphale: It only goes to Oxford.

Crowley: *stands* Not anymore. It will miraculously make it to Mayfair.

Aziraphale: *follows* *rearranges his clothes* Care if I...

Crowley: *raises his eyebrows* Oh? Sure.

Aziraphale: *Miracles the bus*

[Bus' title changes from 'Oxford' to 'Mayfair']

Crowley: Thank you, Angel.

[The bus arrives near them and stops.]

Aziraphale: Don't thank me, it is mostly selfish! *giggles and gets on the bus first*

Crowley: *astonished for a second* *gets in as well*

God's voice: And for the first time, they could sit in the bus... side by side.

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning (same thing, actually) - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #1]

Crowley: *holds the Bookshop doors for Aziraphale, for once*

Aziraphale: Thank you 🥰

Crowley: *closes the doors behind himself* You still haven't told me where that passion for yellow comes from, Angel.

Aziraphale: *heart racing* Oh, hum, well...

Crowley: Please, please don't tell me this is because of something as basic as... sunflowers! *ready to eyeroll*

Aziraphale: *blushes* Er, actually, uh... yes. Yes, it is.

Crowley: *removes his glasses because he is inside* For real? Sunflowers? *shrugs his shoulders* Consider me disappointed. *goes away*

Aziraphale: *has Crowley's eyes stuck in his mind even though the demon's back is the only thing he can see now* Well... *Awkward Quirinus Quirrell's laugh* Eh-eh! Sorry to disappoint you, I guess!

[Later, in the middle of the night, after Crowley has left]

Aziraphale: *runs to a drawer* *opens it in a hurry* *holds dozens [Who am I kidding here?] fifty-something drawings of Crowley in black & white EXCEPT for the eyes* I believe I need to find you a more discreet location...

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous (there isn't) - Beginning (you're here) - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Re-Angelized Crowley ruling Heaven alongside Supreme Archangel Aziraphale #3.2]

Hi again 👋

If you are in the need to catch up, previous parts are right here, my dear: Part 1 & 2, Part 3.1

That time Archangel Crowley started to notice a change in Supreme Archangel Aziraphale's face... also the day some Angels - including a Cherub, not a Cherubim - came to report on how Attempt #12 mysteriously failed, but nobody cares 'bout that.

Aziraphale: *with kind seriousness* Yes... I think I unders-

Crowley: *has left his chair and seized the Supreme Archangel's face in both his hands out of nowhere* Angel. WOT. IS THA-T?

Aziraphale's sofa chair: *holds to the floor with only one leg now, crushed by their weight* *wood meets velvet screeching noises*

The other Angels: *look away as if they just saw a sudden Neon light spelling INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING right in front of their eyes*

One of them: *hide the Cherub's eyes with their hand*

Aziraphale: *heart racing* *tries to give the other angels a look* Hum... I'm sure you... huh... *To Crowley* *high-pitched voice* Wh-what are you doing?!

Crowley: *tightens the grip* *scrutinizes Aziraphale's face further more like some maniac* You tell me, what the Hell is THAT?

Aziraphale: THAT WHAT, CROWLEY?!

Crowley: You've got a WEIRD white spot in your right eye, Angel! *One of his hands goes down to the Supreme Archangel's chin* Are you alright? *gasps in utter panic* OH MY GOD! IT'S GROWING, ANGEL! ANGEL? *touches Aziraphale's face in multiple places* *also climbs on him**gasps again* ANGEL, ARE YOU OKAY?!

The other Angels:*discovers the concept of blushing*

The cherub: *cannot see a thing since the beginning but wants to laugh hearing it all without context*

Aziraphale: *cannot deal* Crow- I'm FINE! I sw-

Crowley: *puts one of his hands IN his mouth by accident* You're NOT. FINE. You have a sort of blueish-white spot growAHHHH! IT APPEARED ON THE LEFT ONE AS WELL, AZIRAPHALE!

Aziraphale: *panicking* *do not remember how to exhale* *realizes it might be because he has a hand in his mouth* *removes it* Someone gets me a mirror! Quickly! C-Crowley, I...

Aziraphale's sofa chair: *cannot even comprehend how it held that long* *stumbles* *falls miserably*

Aziraphale: *almost crushes the back of his head to the floor*

Crowley: *proceeds to put the back of one of his hands behind the Supreme Archangel's head to prevent the crushing* *also is all on top of him now but has been for the last five minutes*

Aziraphale: *blinks an exaggerated number of times* *looks at Crowley* *realizes HE has his hands on the Archangel's hips* *blushes* *looks at the other Angels blushing* *blushes even more*

Crowley: *still looks at Aziraphale in horror* *gently removes his hand behind his Angel's face* Angel...

Aziraphale: I-I'm fine, I swear!

Muriel: *runs as if her life depends on it* *hand in the air holding a mirror* I'VE GOT IT! I'VE GOT IT! *gives it to... Crowley? Aziraphale? cannot really see who is where*

Aziraphale: *succeeds to take the mirror from Muriel's hand* *looks at himself* *widens his strange eyes* *super high-pitched voice* WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

Crowley: *same tone* I TOLD YOU!

Aziraphale: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?! AM I DYING?! *catches Crowley's hand in the firmest grip* I DON'T WANT TO DIE, CROWLEY!

Crowley: *almost about to cry* *puts his free hand on Aziraphale's cheek* You're gonna be fine, Angel, I swear... *yells in sudden wrath to the other angels* WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU IDIOTS?! THE SUPREME ARCHANGEL IS DYING! CALL EMER-... 9.1.... CALL WHOEVER CAN DO SOMETHING! NOW!

The other angels: *runs everywhere without destination* *broken angels*

The cherub: *discreet laugh* *does not move an inch*

Muriel: *approaches further* *tries her best not to be disturbed by the pair's position* *gives a worried look to Aziraphale* *softens instantly* Oh, that? *little laugh* That is nothing.

Crowley & Aziraphale: *turns to her, shocked*

Muriel: *shrugs her shoulders* That's just his eyes changing, it's no biggie. *reassuring smile*

Crowley: *annoyed in my-husband-is-dying-and-you-just-don't-care* Yes, we saw his eyes were changing, and that is NOT normal! Hold on, Aziraphale, I'm here!

Aziraphale: *sees his life unfold in front of his weird eyes* *only sees Crowley in different outfits and shades of emotions*

Muriel: No, no, you don't get it, there's no need to panic...

Aziraphale: *mumbles in agony* I will die disfigured! *tightens the grip of his hand in Crowley's until it almost bleeds - but caresses the gap between his thumb and his index unconsciously at the same time*

Crowley: *ready to cry* *lays on the Supreme Archangel's chest* Oh, Angel, I... I... I lo-

Muriel: That's his Supreme Archangel's mark growing, that's all!

Aziraphale & Crowley: *look at each other, tears still in both their eyes* *feel utterly stupid*

Aziraphale: *clears his throat* *rubs his eyes* Oh. Hum... Of... Of course, it is! *shy laugh*

Crowley: *realizes how their position could be... huh... misinterpreted* *looks at Aziraphale's blueish-white spots growing* *not 100% relaxed about it* *head leaning to the left* It... It... It looks... kind of... huh... pretty.

Aziraphale: *blushes in super duper flattered Supreme Archangel* You... You really think so? 🥰

Crowley: I... think? It's... glowing. Glowing is... nice?

Muriel: Should we leave you the room, or...

Aziraphale & Crowley: What? Why for?!

Muriel: Oh, hum... You know more about human love things than we do, I don't know-know, but...

Aziraphale & Crowley: *blush* *look at each other* *proceed to separate and get back on their feet in less than five seconds*

Aziraphale: *rearranges his clothes because he is profesh'*

Crowley: *rearranges his clothes because Style is important* *keeps giving looks to Aziraphale to verify if the spots keep progressing*

Both: *clears their throats in teenagers caught in the act*

Aziraphale: *To the other Angels who have seen way too much* Thanks for taking the time to give me this news. It's okay. I am sure you will do better next time.

The other angels: *couldn't wait to be authorized to leave*

The cherub from afar: *cute child walk* *laughs* The boss and his pet are so weird!

Another angel: SHHH!

[ineffablydelighted]

[Re-Angelized Crowley ruling Heaven alongside Supreme Archangel Aziraphale #3.1]

Hi, Angels! 👋

If you haven't read Part 1&2, here you go:

[Re-Angelized Crowley ruling Heaven alongside Supreme Archangel Aziraphale #1 & #2]

You may have encountered this fanfic of mine on Facebook. Time to bring it here! This explores what it would have been if Crowley had accept

Now, time for Part 3.1 [this part was long so I divided it into two subparts]

That time Supreme Archangel Aziraphale suggested - or, more so, presented - a suggestion box.

Uriel: *blinks uncontrollably*

Saraqael: *annoyed but kinda ready to know more*

Michael: *most unsubtle eyeroll ever*

Metatron: *has heard that shit before* *so pissed rn* Aziraphale...

Crowley: *scandalized in you-owe-me-royalties* Hey! That was my idea, Angel!

Aziraphale: I know, Crowley! Look! *flips the loosely painted in gold cardboard box*

[Written on the box, in black: ARCHANGEL CROWLEY'S VERY OWN SUGGESTION BOX] [Plus a couple of hearts drawn around Crowley's name]

Crowley: Oh. *clears his throat* Nevermind.

Aziraphale: *smiles in I-knew-you-would-react-like-that*

Metatron: *looks at them Severus-ly* We are not suggesting things, Aziraphale, we just do them.

Aziraphale: Well, not exactly, we, hum... We already have meetings where we discuss things together, each giving their own id-

Metatron: *deadeye* Are you, really, defining the term "suggesting" to me?

Aziraphale: *already feels like he's no longer existing anymore*

Crowley: *barely mumbles* Looks like you needed it.

Metatron: *murderous look*

Aziraphale: There is... There is no need to fight, we...

Crowley: Angel, the simple fact we are discussing this is implying we need to use suggestions!

Uriel: *sigh* My head hurts already.

Metatron: *refuses to budge* Suggestion is very close to Temptation.

Crowley: COME ON, it depends on the context! Look, if I approach Aziraphale like that *walks like Rihanna towards his hubby* *approaches very very closely, taking his Angel's arm to not leave him a chance to recoil* Right? Like that, and say something like... *leans in* *suggestive voice* "Should we have dinner, Angel?"

Aziraphale: *is about to melt right to Hell's gates* I... huh...

Crowley: *his hand goes up near his shoulder in a flirtatious caress*

Saraqael: I'm ready to suggest we shouldn't witness that.

Crowley: *turns to Saraqael* SHHHH. *gritted teeth* I. am. teaching. *Turns back to Aziraphale*

Aziraphale: *Supreme_Archangel_Who_Has_Standards_Aziraphale.exe has stopped working*

Crowley: *tries to bring him back to Ear-Heaven* *soothing voice* Angel? Should we have dinner?

Aziraphale: Huh... I mean... huh... Yes?

Crowley: *mumbles* No, no, Angel. That was a suggestion! We are supposed to discuss it!

Aziraphale: *enamored Supreme Archangel* *out loud* But you made such a good case, Crowley, there is no need to discuss it! Of course, I will have dinner with you! 🥰  *Cutest Smile Ever*

Michael: *rolls their eyes in Someone-has-been-casting-couching*

Crowley: *wants to smile back* *also wants to tell his Angel how stupid he is sometimes*

Metatron: *annoyed beyond words* *also loves being right* Told you this was too close to Tempting.

Crowley: Okay, bad example, but still. Suggestions are important!

Metatron: Not at all. I or Aziraphale tells you what to do and you do it. Simple.

Crowley: Oh? Fine by me! *turns to Aziraphale* Supreme Archangel Aziraphale, what do you want us to do?

Aziraphale: *looks at Metatron for a second* *looks at Crowley for five* *has found the courage God-knows-where* *talks in boss bitch* I want you all to put any suggestion you may have in this suggestion box Muriel had the kindness to make for us. Thank you.

Metatron: *super pissed entity* *turns to Crowley* THIS IS NOT. HAPPENING! NOT ON MY WATCH!

Aziraphale: *freezes*

Crowley: You said, "I OR Aziraphale tells you what to do and you do it." Not "AND". Which means we only need one of you to approve of something. Right? Unless... unless you two need to discuss it, to make... suggestions to each other? *smiles like the aggravating brat he is*

Metatron: *ruminates his bad life choices* Why are you always so difficult? Aziraphale, I want you to throw that nonsense in the trash. Now.

Aziraphale: *does not know what to do* *looks at both of them* *stressed out in bureaucracy*

Saraqael: What if... we keep it for a decade and see what happens?

Michael: *shook* *feels betrayed*

Uriel: *she-just-said-what face*

Crowley & Aziraphale: *cannot believe their ears*

Metatron: *just wants to erase the names of everybody in this room*

Saraqael: *smirks* I bet nobody will ever write a thing anyway.

Michael: *snorts*

Uriel: Whatever.

Crowley: That's the spirit! Right, Aziraphale?

Aziraphale: Huh... Y-yes! That's a good start!

Crowley: Unless the old man has anything else to say?

Metatron: *will kill him even if it is the last thing he does* Careful, Crowley... the floor is slippery and you look like you could fall again...

Crowley: *removes his leathery boots* That... *reveals a pair of socks full of cute halos and books* is a risk... I'm always willing to take, wooohooooo! *proceeds to ice-skate like a pro because he is a showoff*

Aziraphale: *follows Crowley's every move scared he might break an ankle* SOOO... How about we all go to Earth to have dinner?

Michael: *has a heart attack* Say what now?!

Uriel: Ingest human matter? No way.

Saraqael: *eye-rolls in I'm-trying-really-hard-to-save-our-asses-and-you-are-not helping* This does not sound like the right moment to do another stupid thing, Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: Well, as Crowley said, I can tell you what you do and you are supposed to simply do it, so... *snaps his fingers to open the elevator doors from afar* *bends in a Magishun way* Everyone. If you please. Let's have a... business seminar on Earth.

Metatron: *too stunned to have a brain cell left to give a fuck anymore*

The group: *leaves in astonishment without him*

[ineffablydelighted]

[Re-Angelized Crowley ruling Heaven alongside Supreme Archangel Aziraphale #1 & #2]

You may have encountered this fanfic of mine on Facebook. Time to bring it here! This explores what it would have been if Crowley had accepted to follow Aziraphale in Heaven... Probably Metatron's very own version of Hell... right? 😈

[This is meant to be light and funny - well, at least am I attempting to be. I reserve my deep thoughts for my analysis and I'm just as against our favorite Angel's decision as the next person 😅]

That time the Supreme Archangel Aziraphale had a "big announcement" to make, Day 1

Aziraphale: On this day particularly important for me - I mean, for us all, I have the pleasure to introduce *weird Magishun tone* *already amused by his own pun* or, to re-introduce: Archangel Anthony Crowley!

Crowley: *arrives in all-black attire, already owns the place* Helloooo, suckerssss! Ooookayy, Time to change a thing or two: Beige is out, Black is in! *snaps his fingers because Crowley*

Aziraphale: aka... my husband.

Crowley: *stops in the middle of a twist* Wait, what? Since when?

Aziraphale: *with a both cute and firm smile* Since now. I've decided.

Crowley: *blushes behind his glasses* *shrugs his shoulders**tries to sound cool and detached* M'okay. Works for me.

The crowd: *Too stunned to react*

Aziraphale: A round of applause, please, that would be lovely.

The crowd: *weird applause*

Aziraphale: *innocent yet somewhat demonic smile* Thank you 🤭

When the Supreme Archangel Aziraphale asked the Meeting Room to be repainted in wood shades "because it will feel cozier"

Michael: *about to have a heart attack* *cannot deal with the Jealousy* You cannot be serious?

Uriel: Come on, Michael, it must be a joke... Right?

Metatron: *is waiting for Aziraphale to answer "Yes, of course"*

Crowley: *arrives in style* Have you told them about the yellow lights yet or have I arrived too soon?

Two Angels walk into the New Office That Somehow Looks Like an Old Bookshop to report the news on Armageddon 2.0 - which should have happened two centuries ago - and on how Attempt #451 mysteriously failed.

Crowley: *leans in Aziraphale's seat that looks like an old sofa* And why do they keep talking, exactly?

Aziraphale *holds himself back from rolling his eyes for two centuries* *sympathetic smile* I'm sure you've done your very best to make it work. Thank you.

In the middle of a very important War meeting

Crowley: *sighs* I need a drink, Angel *realizes* *does not care* Yeah, nope, cannot stop calling you that. *To Michael, Uriel, Saraqael, and Metatron* Deal with it, losers. *miracles a glass of Talisker and drinks it as if it were 6 expresso shots in one big mug*

Metatron: *Contemplates the end of his own existence as a valid option for the first time in his Eternity* *So done with their bullshirt since day 1*

Three Angels report on how Attempt #523 mysteriously failed.

Crowley: *straight-up laughing* You heard that, Angel? They didn't do what you asked them to do! *theatrical hand movements* How unusual! How revolutionary! *whispers* Can I hang them by their tiny little fee-T?

Aziraphale: *scandalized look* *high-pitched voice* Of course not!

Crowley: *sighs in childish* Ughhh, I need a drink.

When Archangel Michael makes an appearance

Crowley: Isn't it time we introduce quiet firing, Angel? Also, Micky, I need a towel! *winks at his husband*

That first time Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Archangel Crowley were about to re-enter the Elevator together.

Aziraphale & Crowley: *dressed formally* *Aziraphale loves top hats and convinced Crowley they should both wear one with reversed colors* *arm in arm*

Metatron: *clears his throat* *severe tone because that is the only tone he knows* Where do you think you two are going?

Aziraphale and Crowley: *startle like children caught stealing After Eights way before eight*

Aziraphale: We... hum... We... *looks at Crowley* Weeee thought it would be... hum... good to... hum... go back to Earth to... observe humans and to... hum... to... do... groceries? *innocent smile*

Metatron: *cannot believe his ears* Groceries?

Crowley: You haven't got the faintest idea how many wars and plagues have started in a grocery store, do ya'? *is handsy around Aziraphale's hip for no reason*

Aziraphale: *giggles*

Crowley: Come on, Angel, time to start World War III by pissing off some Karens at the cashier. T'will take what, Supreme Archangel, to kickstart Second Coming, hum? Two days? *puts his arm around Aziraphale's shoulders* *strong grip*

Aziraphale: *looks at Crowley* Oh, hum, maybe a week. *looks at Metatron* Let's not be pretentious.

Crowley: *glasses slightly down revealing his eyes only to his hubby* You mean like Michael?

Aziraphale: *giggles again before tapping Crowley's hand away from his shoulder in order to concentrate* *pretends to be shocked* Don't say that!

Metatron: *trembling voice* But... You cannot go back to Earth!

Crowley: *has NOT removed his hand from Aziraphale's shoulders* Watch us. *walks like Rihanna because Crowley, straight to the elevator*

Later, after the elevator's doors are closed.

Aziraphale and Crowley: *sigh in unison*

Aziraphale: I thought he would erase our names in the Book of Life for a second.

Crowley: Yeahhh, well... The night is still young, Angel. But, for now, time to recharge at the Ritz.

Aziraphale: Remember your promise, right?

Crowley: *pretends to not remember* Hum? Wot?

Aziraphale: You promised you wouldn't drink too much alcohol so that we can go to the Opera after. I need us to see Madam Butterfly sober!

Crowley: And I still strongly disagree with that statement. If I find Laudanum, I'll take a hundred bottles: one for tonight, the other 99 to bear the sight of Killjoy in Chief* for yet another day.

[Oh, I think we all know who Killjoy in Chief is. Obviosleh.]

Crowley: If we ever go back Up.

Aziraphale: *scandalized in type A personality* Of course, we will come back! We have responsibilities!

Crowley: Says the Supreme Archangel *of course he always mentions his hubby's new title ironically* who ASKED for a week on Earth.

Aziraphale: Yes, well... There is no such thing as the concept of vacation in Heaven at the moment, but I will certainly introduce it in a century or two. This is important!

Crowley: Sure.

Aziraphale: *talks in Life Mission* It helps stay productive. And happy!

Crowley: Riiight.

Aziraphale: You know it's true! Stop mocking me!

Crowley: I'm not, I... *freezes*

Aziraphale: What is it? Are you okay? *handsy around Crowley's shoulder*

Crowley: My Bentley is going to be so pissed at me. My baby must be so depressed... *puppy-snake-like eyes*

Aziraphale: I know where this is going... And the answer is no, Crowley. *tries to muster some authority in his tone* *fails*

Crowley: Rahhhh! Come on, Angel! You plan on taking your diaries, your favorite books, and snacks! All I want is a dozen Talisker barrels, my plants, and my car back!

Aziraphale: These things will take too much space, Crowley! What will Metatron say?

Crowley: Tss. Says the Supreme Archangel who dreams of reproducing to perfection his very Earthy Bookshop in Heaven. And has started to do exactly that! You're no fun and you're a hypocrite! An Angel, for short. And a basic* one at that.

[Insert The Good Place Michael who says "It's a human insult. You're devastated right now" gif here - Hey, we're on Tumblr, actually, I can!]

Aziraphale: *crosses his arms like a 5 yo while being 6000+* You too are an Angel, Crowley. You tend to forget about that.

Crowley: I'm not an Angel-Angel, Angel. Do you know why? Because I don't have a whole range of brooms stuck inside my bottom.

Aziraphale: *hurt* *also annoyed* *but mostly hurt* And here I was, thinking we would just spend an amazing week together. *trembling voice* You're the no-fun one, Crowley. *almost about to cry* *avoids eye contact*

Crowley: *notices* *pretends not to care* *holds himself back from thinking how cute Aziraphale's pouty face is* *fails miserably* *growls in defeat* How unfair is that?!

Aziraphale: *pretends not to hear for a second* *turns back to him* *keeps his pouty face steady* What? What is unfair?

Crowley: Nevermind, Angel. *sigh* Alright... I will limit my alcohol consumption to four, maybe five glasses.

Aziraphale: *cutest smile emerges* Thank you 🥰 *happy as in a Mariah Carey Christmas clip* *giggles*

Crowley: *blushes behind his glasses* *takes Aziraphales' arm back*

*Pretty long silence*

Crowley: Seriously, though, Sexy is gonna be so pissed at me.

Aziraphale: *high-pitched voice* OH MY LORD, for Heaven's sake, Crowley, the answer is no! Not another word!

Crowley: She might not want to take us to places, you don't understand how serious that is, Angel! What if she never forgives me? What if... *parent's biggest fear* What if she has been car-napped? Or worse? Ran away on her own? She could be anywhere by now!

Aziraphale: *tries to be reassuring* Well, if she isn't here when we arrive, we can miracle her back, it will be fine, Cro-

Crowley: And hurt her even more, treating her like... like... well, a car? I cannot talk to you when you are delusional like that! You're really pissing me off, *makes childish faces* SuPrEmE ArChAnGeL. *crosses his arms* *looks away*

*New silence*

Aziraphale: What if I allow you to drink as much as you like?

Crowley: *mumbles* Not enough.

Aziraphale: Come on, I need you to meet me halfway!

Crowley: *gritted teeth* Not. Enough.

Aziraphale: *sighs in angry mom* What do you want?!

Crowley: I told you what I wanted. You just don't listen.

Aziraphale: We cannot bring the Bentley to Heaven, Crowley! This is not happening!

Crowley: Then I'm not coming back either. Simple. *shrugs in blackmail*

Aziraphale: *shocked*

Crowley: For the record: when humans get married, Angel, they usually do not reject their spouses' child. You... You're behaving like a nasty mother-in-law right now and I'm not having it.

Aziraphale: Did you just Lady Tremaine-labelled me? For real?!

Crowley: Yep. You're that mean. I cannot believe how quickly your new job had gone to that top hat-ed head of yours.

Aziraphale: ...

Crowley: How career changes people, isn't it just baffling.

Aziraphale & Crowley: *cross their arms and look away at the same time*

*ANOTHER silence*

Aziraphale: *defeated sigh* *literally cannot be mad at his hubby for more than 3 minutes* One Talisker barrel, only the plants that stayed in the Bentley and... the Bentley. IF, and ONLY IF she consents to be... huh... reduced in size a little.

Crowley: *yells in bad faith* Here, have some fatphobia, now! I've seen it all! *points a reproachful finger at his spouse* You're a disappointment, Angel.

Aziraphale: *starting to lose patience* Crowley...

Crowley: Two barrels.

Aziraphale: Do not push your luck, I swear...

Crowley: Have you not noticed I'm winning the argument by now, SuPrEmE aRcHaNgEl?

Aziraphale: This is. Not. About. Winning, Crowley! And it is so unfair you keep our Soirée hostage until you get what you want!

Crowley: I'm a demon, Angel. Demons tend to do that.

Aziraphale: Technically, you aren't anymore!

Crowley: We both know you never technically sent the form to make my re-Angelisation official, so I am technically AND in truth: *marks a pause* Still. A demon.

Aziraphale: Exactly! A nasty mother-in-law would never do such a thing!

Crowley: So?

Aziraphale: A raging bureaucrat either!

Crowley: So?

Aziraphale: And certainly NOT a basic Angel!

Crowley: *annoyed* SO?

Aziraphale: I need you to take that back! That was unfair and BEYOND mean, Crowley! *shaking lips*

Crowley: *growls* *rolls his eyes* FINE. *removes his glasses* Sorry, Angel. It was the worried parent speaking.

Aziraphale: *little smirk Crowley has never seen before* *so ready for his petty revenge* Not. Enough.

Crowley: *finds it super hot* *likes being imitated* *cannot concentrate anymore* You... hum... Okay, what do you want? *is wondering how he went from winning the argument to being a fair loser in a matter of a single no-so-angelic smirk*

Aziraphale: *ready to push his luck* How about... a little dance?

Crowley: Out of the question.

Aziraphale: Crowley...

Crowley: NO.

Aziraphale: Crowley...

Crowley: *feels his determination melt like ice at the heart of Hell* *gritted teeth* Fi-

Elevator: Earth. *neutral ding* *doors opens*

Aziraphale: *takes Crowley's hand in his* *looks at him with soft eyes*

Crowley: *cannot believe a SuPrEMe ArChAnGeL could ever make him swoon**longest sigh* Ughhhh. Let's get this over with.

Aziraphale: *recoils to enjoy the view better*

Crowley:

You were right,

You were right,

I was wrong,

You were righ-T. *sighs* Satisfactory enough, SuPrEmE aRcHaNgEl?

Aziraphale: Thank you, Cinderella. *leaves first in victory*

Crowley: *wants to murder and kiss him at the same time*

[neil-gaiman]

hello mr. gaiman, my friend and i had a question for you about this hat of beelzebub's in s1

do you know how it was decided that they would wear this hat? and did beelzebub make it or just find it somewhere when they got to earth?

We made the hat a day or two before the shoot. The red eyes had been planned to be Beelzebub's eyes, but Anna Maxwell Martin requested that nothing cover or be near her eyes, and I suggested putting the red fly eyes on her hat, sticking a couple of black pipe cleaners as antennas, and giving the impression of wings.

In story Beelzebub made it, just as Crowley makes his clothes.

[ineffablydelighted]

I-I-I'm sorry, Sir. Crowley wot?

I always assumed he was "miraculing" them. Or, does he, actually, make them make them?

Like. The human way?

Is there an old Singer's sewing machine somewhere in Aziraphale's Bookshop?

Is there sewing machines in Hell as well?

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS NOW! 😫

[ineffablydelighted]

[An alternative Good Omens S3 intrigue]

What if...

[Muriel comes back from a couple days in Heaven. The second the elevator spells "Earth", she runs to the Bookshop]

Muriel: *shouts* Mister Demon! I-I mean, Mister Crowley!

Crowley: For the hundredth time, just Crowley suits me just fi-

Muriel: *grabs him by the collar of his vest* WE HAVE A PROBLEM, MIST- CROWLEY!

Crowley: *puts her hands away**bitter* What? Heaven looks like an old Bookshop now? How shocking.

Muriel: No, no, actually, nothing has changed at all. It's...

Crowley: *stunned* Nothing... nothing? Not a single Louis the XVth floating chandelier to be found?

Muriel: A what?

Crowley: *points to the Bookshop's ceiling* Something like that.

Muriel: Oh, no, of course not, I don't believe the Metatron would ha-

Crowley: *starts to pace nervously* Huh... what about blankets?

Muriel: Oh, yes, I know that one!

Crowley: *impatient* Yes, cool, so: is there any in Heaven?

Muriel: None, but-

Crowley: Anything tartan? *shows her one of Aziraphale's bow ties he somehow knew was in a random drawer* That kind of pattern. He thinks it is stylish - his thoughts, not mine.

Muriel: No. Crow-

Crowley: Has Michael, or any other Angel started to wear top hats? Pretty sure he would have made them mandatory by day two.

Muriel: I... don't think so, but-

Crowley: *gritted teeth* For Sa- Hea- Fuckever sake, tell me you saw one of them eating!

Muriel: Oh no, of course not! Crowley, I... I don't think...

Crowley: *stunned* Aziraphale is not in Heaven.

Muriel: That's what I came here to say! Listen, I've met another 37th-class scribbler, my friend Archie, they told me there wasn't a Supreme Archangel and that the Metatron runs everything himself now.

Crowley: *heart racing**frozen* Did you ask your friend since when?

Muriel: That's the oddest thing! They told me there hasn't been one since Gabriel left.

Crowley: *round eyes**whispers* Angel... where the Hell are you?

Muriel: Well, actually... that is my theory.

Crowley: Hum?

Muriel: I've heard something else from my friend: things are happening in Hell. Lights are flickering...

Crowley: Always has been.

Muriel: No, no, there have been complaints! And I heard... I shouldn't have done that but I overheard Archangel Michael say to the Angel Phone "Are you sure he still believes he's in Heaven?" to... I don't know who but...

Crowley: *still in shock but forces himself to think* An Angel is... not built to be in Hell for a long time... There has been a precedent. He must feel that something is wrong! *turns to Muriel**somber/worried voice* What do we do?

[ineffablydelighted]

[Good Omens, Two weeks after S2 events...]

Nina: *bumps in* Okay, where TF is he, again?

Maggie: Hello, sir 👋

Pub owner: *sighs* Hello. Same as usual. Someone will have to pay the-

Nina: *slams two 50s on the bar* Here, done. *is under the impression she became the parent of a probably immortal being going through his first teenage heartbreak but with a middle-aged man body and a liquor license*

Maggie: *to the pub owner* Sorry about that, she's... Excuse-me... *follows Nina*

Crowley: *wasted**barely understandable**slams an empty Talisker drink on the table* StUuRpId ASSssAnGeL...

Nina: You have to STOP doing that. We have lives, you know?

Crowley: *unnatural lying position* 'nd bery short at tha', yea, I know tha'. Arn't ya' so luckeh?

Maggie: Please, Sir, you need to go home...

Crowley: *dour laugh* Yeaaaa, well, it's not asif I had tha'.

Nina: *sighs* You live in Mr Fell's Bookshop with Inspector-Naivety-Incarnate-something. Remember?

Crowley: Ah, yea, maybe, huh... *pointing an uncertain finger at Maggie* *high-pitched voice* ey, don't ya owe me rent?

Maggie: *ever seen a very pale cinnamon roll? Ya have now* Well, I...

Nina: *would cross her arms if she hadn't done that already**offended**protective almost-girlfriend* I have paid for your "coping method" a couple thousand pounds by now you didn't feel the need to repay me, so I think you should be careful before demanding any rent! Oh, and should I mention I've spent that in the course of A SINGLE WEEK?

Crowley: *looks at her with the sudden need to throw up**or to break something* No nehd to be... To be... Watevah. This is bullshit! *first sentence he somewhat says perfectly for some reason* My, my point is... Is... Bluh. He's so... BLUH!

Nina & Maggie: *look at each other in we've-heard-that-from-Monday-to-the-next-Monday**opposites face expressions though*

Crowley: *faints because he wants to* *hides his face under his 1941 hat*

Nina: Oh, no! No, no, no! That is not happening! *shakes him* Oy, wake up! I do not have all night!

Maggie: *whispers* Be gentle with him, Mr Fell is... you know...

Crowley: *ignores them**but is also listening*

Nina: *out loud* He behaves like my sister Chantel when she learned that Justin Bieber was dating Selena Gomez! Except that, my sister was fourteen at the time, not- I don't even know! How even old are you?!

Crowley: *shows his face again**yells* WHO CARES?! He's... He's... *proceeds to imitate Gollum's voice to perfection* Stupid fa- fantastic Magisshit-

Nina: Okay, enough. *grabs his arm agressively* Get up!

Maggie: *takes his hat from the floor and his glasses from the table* I don't think he can...

Nina: He can and he will! Go on, get up!

Crowley: *makes himself fall back on the sofa**loves behaving like a 5 yo having a tantrum* NEH! I-I I am NOT...

Nina: Do you want us to abandon you here?

Pub owner: *from afar* If you don't put your uncle out, Coffee girl, I swear...

Nina: *points a very menacing finger* Don't you dare "I swear" me! I "I swear" people, not the other way around, especially not when I have to deal with that excuse of a... a... man! *couldn't come up with something better*

Crowley: Imnottha' but...

Maggie: There is no need to fight, we... *looks at Crowley having somewhat of some tears in the corner of his eyes* He's just... heartbroken, you see?

Crowley: *almost inaudible* I'm noot.

Pub owner: Yeah, 'figured. That's no good reason! Whenever he's here, every customer leaves in under ten minutes for some reason and that isn't good for my business!

Nina: Coming from the lad whose only job is to take advantage of other people's misery, that's rich.

Maggie: Nina, you...

Nina: *grabs Crowley by the first ankle she sees* It will mess up your hair but I am ready to make you slide out of here even if that is the last thing I'll ever do.

Crowley: *falls to the floor**doesn't care* I'd like to see tha'

Nina: Fine, you asked for it. *grabs his second ankle**makes him slide for two meters before almost giving up**to Maggie* What are you waiting for? Take him by the armpits if you have to, but help me!

Maggie: *wants to do exactly that**doesn't know what to do with her hands for a second**puts Crowley's glasses and hat on to free them**grabs Crowley by the armpits* Okay, okay, One...

Nina: *holds herself from laughing at Maggie's new improvised look**is not even in the mood to anyway**lifts Crowley up**realizes she's the only one doing so**offended look*

Maggie: I... Sorry. I thought we would lift him up at three and...

Nina: *sighs in I-ve-never-signed-for-this-but-here-I-am* Maggie, Angel, please, you're not helping.

Crowley: *out of nowhere* ANGEL! 'Ngels... arn't vey djust...

Nina: Three.

Crowley: *does not mind being lifted by two struggling humans**mumbles* I 'ate 'is sturpid hair...

Nina: Of course you do. Careful the corner, Mag-

Maggie: *hits her hip* Aouch!

Crowley: *more to himself* AND his stupid fess...

Nina: *to Maggie* Careful, I said! If you really want to hit something, hit him! *looks at Crowley*

Maggie: *passing by the bar**to the Pub owner* Sorry about that, have a good night.

Crowley: *less and less understandable* 'nd 's mooth 'hat says 'turpid sings...

Pub owner: Whatever.

Crowley: 'ike "'omoshun is Ineff-neffably 'wesome wa doon't ya' kom wis meh dishtroy thee uni-universs?"

[The doors of the pub ring their departure]

Nina: We really should *Crowley is heavier than she expected* consider *like, really* create a law to oblige pub owners to have *humpf* bedrooms in the back of their establishment!

Maggie: We're *sore arms but still going strong* lucky he lives *breathless* right across.

Nina: *forces open the Bookshop with her hips that don't lie*

[Yeah, there is no way you can escape the Shakira tune now, is it?]

Nina: *right after Maggie has completely entered* Okay, let's drop him here.

Maggie: The couch is right th-

Nina: *drops Crowley's ankles* He can find the couch himself. As far as I am concerned, the floor suits him just fine.

Crowley: The service her' is terr-terrib-bluh!

Nina: Yeah, well, feel free to contact customer service and leave one star.

Crowley: *raising an invisible glass* Happeh to. *threatens to throw up*

Maggie: *to Crowley* Will you be alright?

Crowley: No-PUHHHH.

Muriel: *runs from God knows where towards the group* Oh my God, how is he?

Nina: Same as yesterday. And the day before that. I think he has an alcohol problem.

Muriel: You can be funny just looking at a bottle? Interesting.

Nina: More like looking at a dozen in three days but, who's counting? Certainly not him.

Crowley: *pointing a finger at the Sky* Ya' owe meh a f***ing 'usical!

Muriel: How can I help him?

Nina: You can't. Not really. He has to get through it by himself, as we all do at some point.

Muriel: I'm... confused. Is he... like... sick, or something?

Crowley: A mu-... A mu... si... *faints*

Maggie: Yeah, I believe you can call it that. It is... some kind of... sickness.

Muriel: Not a human sickness, then? *has forgotten she is, obviously, also a human called Inspector Constable* I-I mean, well-

Nina: Apparently, beings like him can catch those as well. Go figure.

Maggie: Maybe... Maybe put a blanket on him?

Nina: He does not deserve it, but yeah, you can do that.

Muriel: Okay, I'll... Sorry: what... is a blanket?

Nina: *sighs* I'm done for tonight. *leaves**comes back* Maggie?

Maggie: I... I think I'll stay for a while.

Nina: Right. It's not as if you had a shop to run in what? Five hours?

Maggie: You told me yourself nobody ever comes to my shop, so...

Nina: *shrugs her shoulders* Sorry, I'm too tired to apologize. Good night, everyone. *to Crowley* Not you. *slams the Bookshop's doors unintentionally*

[Awkward silence]

Maggie: *to Muriel* So... A blanket. It is... like, a, a cloud... but... rectangle.

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 2/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello! 👋

Hope you are doing well since Part 1 😇 If you have not read it, you're losing a significant part of this analysis and I encourage you to please read it first 🥰 [because, well, it has been called Part 1 for a reason, hum-hum]

[How the Ineffable Husbands in Good Omens can help us answer what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time in her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours. Ah, Hello!

Now that we are in the sole company of Part 1's survivors, let's dive into Part 2 [THIS PART MIGHT BE LONGER, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, ANGELS!] 😎

[This gif is here to entice you to grab a snack and a drink you might fancy because, TRUST ME, I do not know how to shut up when I'm analyzing things and you're here for a long a** time. I know it is super hot outside for some of us but we can totally PRETEND it rains and cosy up in our favorite blanket. Remember: Autumn/Fall is a mindset, not a season.]

As I previously announced, the next bit of my analysis [and the next idk how many parts tbh, I'm a mess, but I believe I'll treat two encounters by part - told you this was gonna be LONG, don't hate me, homie 😣] will treat Aziraphale and Crowley's every S1 & S2 encounter, explaining why Aziraphale slowly falls in love with Crowley and using their dynamic to try my best to explain what Good Omens must be about as a whole.

Ready?

Let's go!

Before the Beginning

In S2, Aziraphale meets Then-Angel "Crowley" (as we do not know his angelic name, we'll have to stick to that) and that is also the first and only time we, the audience, see him.

What does Aziraphale see in Angel Crowley?

First, he is super dynamic and cheerful: he really seems to ADORE creating stars [ask me to show you a nerdy dork before nerdy dorks even existed and Angel Crowley will always be my #1 from now on] but, also, he is already very frank, straightforward, and innovative (he invented the suggestion box sole concept, I believe 🤔)

[By the way, my take on this is that Angels, having been an active part in Creation, have the ability to create Concepts out of nothing but their own minds, and since they also have a "beehive system" [As S2 Crowley states when he is "arrested" by Cinnamon-Roll-In-Chief Muriel and is "brought" to Heaven], the Concept created becomes instantly real for every other Angel in the universe.]

That worries Aziraphale instantly: he watches everywhere around him, afraid someone higher-ranked is listening.

This scene is very important because that shows us what differentiates Crowley and Aziraphale the most throughout the entire book/show: 

Aziraphale has somewhat of a Fear of God (which is encouraged by most religions: God is Right, always, you are nobody to state the opposite) that Crowley does not have because he has Trust (which is still having Faith, just a more optimistic one - most times.)

Crowley is, first and foremost, a creator at heart.

He loves creating things, he develops a bond with his creations, and cannot fathom how the Creator with a capital "C" wouldn't either.

That is why he does not mind stating out loud that creating a star factory for it to serve nothing is "idiocy"; even worse, to not even let it follow its natural course? It feels utterly wrong to him! 

Then-Angel Crowley already has his own understanding of what Creation is all about, while Aziraphale, being a "people" pleaser through and through, follows the mass, no questions asked, definitely no suggestions.

That first conversation holds their first debate as well:

Are they, as Angels, simple executors or are they collaborators? And, to go further: what is the point of THEM altogether?

Although, Aziraphale does not engage in the said debate for long.

Especially when Angel Crowley says:

"Well, you know, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions! Fresh point of view!"

That is the precise moment Aziraphale starts PANICKING out of the Fear of God I mentioned earlier:

In his eyes, Crowley commits the utmost BLASPHEMY the minute he tries to PUT HIMSELF AT GOD'S PLACE.

That is precisely how Angels FALL: In the Bible, God expresses their wrath whenever Humans and Angels alike defy/deny their authority/their Almightyness.

Out of terror, Aziraphale tries to distract Angel Crowley by bringing his attention back to his creation. He ends up genuinely worrying for him and expresses it:

"Look, word to the wise; I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble."

Angel Crowley thanks him for his concern and says this sentence so full of dramatic irony because we, the audience, already know what will happen to him:

"I wouldn't worry, though; How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

Then, Angel Crowley will show an act of kindness and concern of his own by protecting Aziraphale from the explosions (Fire).

It will also create Alpha Centauri in the process.

[I'm not sure why he does it but I do have a theory:

Since he never created a Nebula before and Aziraphale had not been a part of this project at any point, he might have been afraid that God and/or the Nebula's creators had somewhat forgotten to include all the other Angels in the "do not harm" category.]

But would it be what Aziraphale remembers the most about this encounter? I do not believe so.

As he will constantly do over the ages, he will miss the POINT:

I believe Aziraphale mostly associates this encounter with the moment he saw Crowley as his HAPPIEST.

And joy, both as a concept and a state of mind is something really, really important to Aziraphale.

[PURE JOY right there. Also, I need my doors to creek like that.]

4004 BC, Garden of Eden

In S1, During this encounter, the Cherubim/Guardian of The Eastern Gate Aziraphale meets the Demon Crawley for the first time since the latter has fallen.

What makes me think that is that Aziraphale asks for his name.

But there are indications they have met prior (both as angels, I mean, and not just at the Beginning): Crawley asks Aziraphale about the flaming sword that has been given to him in the past.

More so, it is most likely that Aziraphale showed him the sword.

"You did, it was flaming like anything, what happened to it?"

I'll even go further by stating they must have been somewhat friends during that elapse, for two reasons:

One, because of this sentence Crawley says:

"Lost it already, I mean?"

Meaning: you have a tendency to lose things and I would not know that if we hadn't met plenty of times.

 Two, because Aziraphale answers HONESTLY to Crawley's question.

That becomes even more baffling when we discover that, being asked the same question later on, Aziraphale proceeds to LIE TO GOD'S FACE.

What really interests me about this encounter, in particular, is how at ease (even if he is experiencing stress because of the flaming sword's situation) Aziraphale feels by Crawley's side, even though he is now a Demon.

Sure, he does insist on Crawley's new nature and that is most certainly because he is thinking in dichotomy, but

He feels safe enough around him to be honest and, more importantly, vulnerable. Deep down, he already knows Crawley will never use that information against him.

[And that, Angels, is the cutest thing ever, amr?]

Also, as they always will over the years, they will

Have a debate on what is Right and what is Wrong.

Aziraphale is worried he might have done the wrong/bad thing by giving Adam his flaming sword.

However, he acted out of kindness and empathy, which Crawley is very receptive to. Aziraphale can see that and also that Crawley tries to reassure him by saying:

"Oh, you're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing"

But then, being his honest self, he contemplates whether or not HE might have done the right thing, crushing Aziraphale's brief moment of rest.

But, contrary to Aziraphale, it does not worry him that much: he had fallen already, so he learned a thing or two about Heaven and Hell and has started not to care about their opinions at all since they did not care about his when he was actually invested in the Ineffable Plan.

[Also, I just love how Crawley, by being the one who gives Eve the apple, is the official Earthy Creator of Free Will™ (even if God and Satan must have been its sponsors) - it does align with his sense of self since the suggestion box falls into the same thinking pattern.]

During their debate, Aziraphale totally misses Crawley's whole POINT (again): 

Crawly states that God WANTED Free Will to be introduced.

Otherwise, they would not have made it remotely possible for humans to gain access to it. By that, he also implies (at least) three things:

One: God created the Tree that holds the Forbidden Apple, even if they called it Forbidden. They'd put it on sight, in the middle of Eden, not outside of it. They let Satan send Crawley to tempt Eve who later temps Adam.

Meaning: God and Satan are, on occasion if not all the time, working TOGETHER and playing their own game, so why wouldn't THEY?

Two: If there is such thing as Fallen Angels/Demons, it is because God WANTS it in the first place. 

Meaning: Therefore, how can their actions be BAD as in "wrong" or as in "shouldn't happen"?

Three: If a Demon can, in fact, do Good/Right and an Angel can do Bad/Wrong actions, are they, really, that different? How much do their actions matter anyway? How is that even possible for them to do the opposite of their apparent purpose? Unless, of course, God WANTS it that way.

Meaning: Good and Bad are much more INTERTWINED and CODEPENDENT than what Heaven and Hell appear to make them believe.

In fact, Crawly is already starting to believe Good and Bad MUST. ALWAYS. COEXIST. no matter WHO does it.

UNLESS, of course, they... do not exist at all?

Is there, really, Good or Bad anyway?

[I've tried to warn you through the tags: philosophy haters, the floor is now LAVA.]

Aziraphale does not think like that at all. That kind of belief shakes him, but being his Angels = Good = Right self, he refuses to believe it.

Also, he considers it as Blasphemy and Temptation.

But, guess what, that is normal. During this debate,

Aziraphale does not interpret why God put the Forbidden Fruit in the middle of Eden the way Crawley does.

Aziraphale does not think of the Ineffable plan like that: to him, he is supposed to do what he is TOLD.

In other words, Aziraphale's theory is that

God is TESTING its creations, and the creations/subordinates in question must prove they are stronger because they respect/fear God MORE than they are inclined to follow their own wishes.

It is a very common religious belief if not THE most common.

Crawley is more... let's say "Oscar Wilde-ish" in his thinking. [The -ish is important here, the man was very paradoxical but that was the first that came to my mind]

[I would like to drop in here some glimpse of cinematographic analysis as well [because this is MY essay and I can do whatever the Hell that I want.] :

During the debate per se, they never share the screen, even though they are willing to talk peacefully and respectfully - hence the fact both actually turn to each other, look at each other, etc.

Basically, their debate is a true one, but none will change their minds anytime soon.] 

They find common grounds to "Agree to Disagree" when Aziraphale protects Crawley from Earth's very first Rain (Water)

Why does Aziraphale do it? In my opinion, probably for the same reason Then-Angel Crowley did it: The rain could have been God's way to destroy the Demon who was there, since Fire is, at that point, already related to Satan.

[Well, even if it was God who gave Aziraphale a flaming sword... Good and Bad are ALWAYS totally mixed up in Good Omens. See?]

It was a gesture of protection, courtesy, and empathy. A "just in case this is a danger for you" act.

[I might go back to this part to add some things as I will soon rewatch very carefully both seasons in case I miss something - and I will, because I'm chaotic AF. Although, this girl likes to think of herself as being thorough when she puts in an effort.]

So, yeah, this book/show is very interesting to me because, as I've stated in the tags and as I'm trying to prove to you (and to myself) in this very lengthy analysis,

Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic fiction.

It does not mean it is NOT a comedic/satyric/romantic fiction, though. Of course not! It is both. And many other things in between.

[Now, I'll let that sink in and give both of us a well-deserved break.]

[Friendly Space Ninja, I know you'll never see this but I'm manifesting all the admiration and respect I can to wish you a good day.]

During Part 3, we'll treat the next two of our favorite pair's encounters:

S1 3004 BC (Noa's Arch, The Flood) and S2 2500 BC (Job's case).

Can't wait, I'm a big fan of the Job's episode.

Toodles, Angels! See you soo-oooooooon!

[Do you hate me by now? Nah? It will come.]

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

Previous - Beginning - Next

[ineffablydelighted]

[Love how the Beelzebub unintended change of actress gave the character such a relatable behavior and an adorable addition to the Ineffable Bureaucracy relationship]

Let me explain because I just need to tell somebody 😂

At the beginning of the season, they justify the actress change by making Beelzebub say they "had changed their face for "an old one" they haven't used in over 6000 years"

Right?

Yeah, you know what happened before Beelzebub did that?

Yep. Exactly.

[Unless your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys 🤷‍♀️]

They had just met Gabriel during the Armadeggon fiasco and they were on their way to their first "off the books" meeting.

Exactly like when we, humans, suddenly feel the need to change our style and/or our haircut once we develop a new crush.

Beelzebub fell first, Angels.

[Zero shade for either actress, though, I loved both ❤️]

Annnnnnd that's all for me, byeeeee! 👋