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Her palms get sweaty, Her minds a mess. She feels a little defeated, Is this yet another test? She doesn’t know how much more she can take, forever trying to prove herself. She’s barely keeping it together trying not to break. They think she’s mad, They think she’s angry, But she’s just had enough. Sitting here wishing she could start fresh, Get a new name. Go somewhere no one knows her, or her past, Question is how long will the charade last? Her demons always catch up, No matter how fast she runs, They always catch up. They catch her by surprise, When she’s doing her best, Constantly reminding herself, you’ve got this its just another test. But she’s exhausted, She just needs some time off, But how can she be free when her mind never switches off? How can she be free when she’s a prisoner of her own mind? How can she be free when she feels like she’s one of a kind. Like no one understands her, or her pain. Constantly putting on a fake smile, doing all she can for everyone around her. Desperately hoping by doing so, they will see what she needs from them in return. Some gratitude, some acknowledgement some praise? Anything to make her feel she belongs, because feeling at home has been a feeling long gone for too long! What is her purpose? Is there a reason for her pain? Will she ever be truly happy, or will her pain always remain the same? She needs a sign to hold on, Anything, something, tell her she belongs. She just needs to feel like she belongs, why can’t she be all she wants to be? It’s a Constant battle In her mind, why can’t she just be happy? Inner peace is it that hard to find? She asks her self day after day, What’s stopping her, she breaks down time and time again, you can see it in her eyes. she hears it over and over, it’s me, but how does she set one free? -Allana Renee'
