Why Double Standards With Gender Roles Is Not “Sexism Against Men”
The fact that boys are given more grief for liking things that are stereotypically feminine than girls who like things that are stereotypically masculine is commonly cited as “sexism against men”. However, the reason for that is because “being female” is often considered to be inferior. When a girl/woman is criticized for transgressing gender roles, it’s generally because of the belief that they are “acting above her station” - i.e. taking on a role that she “doesn’t deserve”. And, yes, that does still happen. When a boy/man is criticized for transgressing gender roles, it’s because of the belief that he is “lowering himself” - i.e. taking on a role that “is beneath him”. So the context is very different.
Of course, we should be supportive of boys like Dyson Kilodavis - and I really do commend his parents for being open-minded of his choices. My heart does go out to the children, boys and girls alike, who are discouraged by their parents from transgressing gender roles - and punished when they do. I don’t think that is right, and children should be free to like what they like.
Nonetheless, it’s the patriarchy that says boys and men can’t like feminine thing. Yes, it does hurt the boys and men who don’t live up to society’s standards of “manliness” - but the reason for that is because women are considered to be weaker than men.
In short, this is general attitude regarding gender roles: When women take on masculine gender roles, they are “raising themselves up to men”. When men take on feminine gender roles, they are “lowering themselves down to women”.
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