inner Pig-Dog

Random internet insanity, gaming stuff and german Gedöns. M, too old for this shit, Berlin. My main blog is redbarrel.tumblr.com

[funsizedragon]

Bloodborne is one of the only games where I look at the highly detailed concept art and say: “Oh god, they actually made it.”

Concept art:

Final game:

[innerpigdog]

fun with photo mode

[innerpigdog]

[mondaysarepeopletoo-blog]

do atheists say oh my god

[skepticalavenger]

yep.  we say it any time we hear something that’s unbelievable.

[connorcillium]

[depressedmangoo]

Godammnn

[cheese24k]

I would have aced biology if the teachers all taught the course like the narrator

[charisma-savingthrow-deactivate]

It’s like a rainbow…of ugly.

[piercingsandink]

Crying

[theimaginator-omniworld]

*Calmly* “Here, the angler fish compares its camouflaging skills to that of a flounder, also a master–”

*Not so calmly* “HOLY CRAP, did you– what the FU–?!?!”

[moonykins]

Here is a full playlist of all 25 “True Facts about x” videos Ze Frank has ever made. They’re all just as fantastic as this one. You’re welcome.

[stability]

[aqueroful]

[captainmwai]

Sony: Easy…. EASY….

Microsoft: Over a bit… now a little to the riiiight…

Nintendo: THREE HANDLES! NO! FOUR! MOTION DETECTOR STICK! A SCREEN A FUCKING SCREEN ON YOUR CONTROLLER

[amtrax]

Sony: If it ain’t broke don’t fix it

Microsoft: Evolution takes some tweaking

Nintendo: INNOVATE. IIIIIIIIIIIINNOVATE.

[sandandglass]

[crowholtz]

grand theft auto v scenery: (2/?)

[thealpacalypse-archive]

i don’t think anyone outside of Germany understands how scarring it is to hear the words “Fresh Dumbledore”. you do not know that there’s a whole generation of Germans out there who get thrown back in time upon hearing those words… war flashbacks of “wer zum Teufel ist Amanda”, “Voldemort hat einen Stein nach mir geworfen”, “SCHINKEN!” and “Ich bin alt, ich bin bald tot, aus grün mach rot. Klatsch!”… those and so many other quotes still haunt me.

you do not know that there’s a whole parallel universe in Germany where Hermione is a lesbian, Dumbledore is a gangster rapper, Gilderoy Lockhard is a porn star and everything is 100% obscene. that everyone quoted these dubs for months. that there were actual albums of Fresh Dumbledore out there that you could listen to. That there was also an album of Snape’s black metal band. Even Warner Brothers got wind of it and threatened to sue.

one woman in Germany redefined Harry Potter for countless people for years, and none of you even know.

the memory of it is burnt into my brain and I cannot escape. 

[innerpigdog]

English: sign me the fuck up

German: unterschreibe mich das Ficken nach oben

[justbadpuns]

Go to Italy, Rome around and pasta time

[yveinthesky-deactivated20190127]

BVG bringt den Brenn zu uns allen. 

OK someone asked for translation here we go, the BVG stands for Berlin Transport Company. They regularly throw out zingers on their twitter account.

1 pic:

Kiff Kev: BVG YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHY ARE YOU NEVER ON TIME?

Bvg: NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER MAYBE WE ARE DISSIN’ YOU?

2. Host country Spandau

Foreign culture

Friendly Natives

Exotic food 

Flights for 2,80€

(This is an old joke that goes all the way back to the 1920s, maybe even earlier. Spandau became a district of Berlin very late, in the 1920s. It’s basically its own city slapped on to the West. Berliners think Spandauers are strange creatures. Spandauer think Spandau is VERY IMPORTANT.)

3. Spring is coming. Wedding isn’t. 

(Wedding is a locality in the borough of Mitte, it was cut off from Mitte during the cold war and fused with it again later.  Wedding is bordering the hipster kingdoms Prenzlauerberg, Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg parts of former East Berlin that became the new places to be. 

When a district is getting popular we say “Kreuzberg ist im kommen” or simply “Kreuzberg kommt” meaning “Kreuzberg is coming”. Sadly the hype train never reached Wedding even though people have been talking about it for years.)

4. Tomorrow will be the premier of “Smurfs-the lost village”

Great! Finally a movie about Potsdam. 

(I don’t think I have to explain this.)

5. 

Anon: Hey BVG I am currently riding without a ticket from Görlitz station to Warschauer Straße. Are you angry with me?

BVG:  May you be plagued by bad street band at Warschauer Straße while a tourist is barfing on your face and a dealer is scamming you.

Anon: What if I am the dealer? XD joke of course

BVG: Then you would probably have the 1,70 € for a short trip or 1.20€ if you are under 15. It’s hard to tell from your tweets. 

[youtomb]

2 notes doesnt pay the rent 

[gelatins]

hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2

[eggogorgon]

[redlipstickresurrected]

Chillhiro aka Chihiro (Japanese, Tohogu, Japan) - Photographers on Flickr