WOUNDED. @innocenst-blog - Tumblr Blog

VXNEYARD.

❝N-no, I don’t !! I-I’m not, I promise, I was… I was only… oh, Edwyn, I don’t KNOW ! P-please don’t tell anyone, PLEASE !❞

❛ ernst !! be honest with me. please. i wouldn’t dream of telling! i just how can you understand any of that? it’s so... CONFUSING. ❜

♬ 3!

( trash tunes. )the bitch of living - SA

❛ do they think we want this?? ❜

#wcnting #ask #|| sw e e tie baby sunshine flower

♬ 4 !!!

( trash tunes. )say no to this - ha.milton

❛ then I said, ‘ well, I should head back home! ’ she turned red, she led me to her bed… !!!! ❜

#pcssibilities #ask #|| my sTREssed gay son

musingmemes

send me a ♬ and a number between 1-10 and i’ll put my itunes on shuffle and skip to that number and write a starter with my favorite lyric from that song.

example: if you send me ♬ 7, i’ll put my itunes on shuffle, skip forward seven songs and use my favorite lyric from that song.

#█┊☩ SPEAK.#|| i want 2 do stuff!!! send me one

( ernst: )

❝Did you you saw ?? O-oh, god… Edwyn, I didn’t — I was JUST…❞

❛ i just... don’t know what to say!! do you do you... think about ... THAT? ❜

#vxneyard #rp #|| nakey boys and gAY #sa ve er ns t

(ernst: )

❝ Y-you did ? W-what did you see ??❞

❛ i should say i i did a bit more than peek. i thought it’d just be.. flowers!! or, or animals or something. ❜

#vxneyard #rp #|| edWYN IS STRESSING #HES WORRIED ERNST WILL B ANGRY AT HIM

( ernst: )

❝I did ! Oh !! Thank you, Edwyn —— o-oh, this one. I-I’d been looking for it…❞

❛ of course.. i i should tell you, i... may have.. peeked in it. ❜

#vxneyard #rp #|| sw e et ie #someone give this boy a hug

andtall

WHEN I HAVE CHILDREN, I’LL LET THEM BE FREE. AND THEY’LL GROW STRONG, AND TALL.

#|| THE LOVE OF MY LIFE #ANNA AND ZOE #BOTH ARE THE LOVES OF MY LIFE #ahhhHH H H H HH H H HELP #i love you sm #i l voe #█┊☩ PROMO.

( @vxneyard | starter call )

❛ you left your sketchbook at my house... i brought it back for you though!! here um, here. ❜

#vxneyard #rp #|| yiKES #ALL THOSE NAKED B OYS AND G AY S H I T #YIKESYIKESYIKES

( @trcnchcoatkid | starter call )

❛ and i accidentally typed DEAD instead of DEAF, isn’t that funny? my best friend is dea oh wait, oh no, that’s awful. ❜

#|| ed w yn #( V. PIANO MAN )#trcnchcoatkid #rp

( @determinatiio | starter call )

❛ i don’t understand how boys are expected to marry girls, or the other way around, when we’re hardly even allowed to see one another anymore! ❜

#determinatiio #rp #|| a smol bean. just trying 2 make his way thru life #( V. PIANO MAN )

bc i need c ute small stuff rn LIKE FOR A STARTER!!

#starter call #|| jes u s i need some Chill #just some c u te simple st uff

( markus ):

it had all become so obsolete. there was nothing left. people were only meant to disappear. shrivel away. some FASTER than others. some HASTENED. but, it was all just a matter of time. until he took that bullet from moritz. the one he couldn’t catch fast enough. the one that burrowed so aggressively into his temple every single time he was FORCED to pull his body back up. it felt all so real. his rightful place. every time he closed his eyes and BEGGEDnever to wake up. to drown in the ground. encased in his casket. fingers having imprinted across his face, down his neck, tools scraped down his back - could you even call it skin? like living in your own CORPSE.

nothing was home anymore. it used to be the people that rooted him to the ground. kept him BEATING. but just like his pulse disappeared; so did the people. moritz … melchior … wendla … ernst … edwyn … all GONE. nothing but figments living in black and white shadow. living in every crevasse of his DREAMS. his dreams to just – disappear with them. become absolutely NOTHING. finally bite the bullet. let it explode. blow his brains out in the willow. he should’ve taken mortiz’s place. protect him. ANYTHING to keep him breathing. being HERE. it never felt right. not when moritz SHOULD have been. he should’ve seen it. without moritz - without them ALL. being alone. when the only recognition he was alive - was he could still feelPAIN. it wasn’t worth it. the naivety of waiting. the wrong doing in waiting. only intensifying past the physical. it wouldn’t bring THEM back.

all GONE. fingers digging into his wrists. forced together to keep his body from caving in on itself. back pressed to the wall, curled up - to press his swollen eyes into his knee caps. nobody came anymore. nobody except the heavy slam of those boot soles. or the absent minded tip toe of avoidance. any knocks he’d ever found, were his spine against the wall or hisIMAGINARY requiems. like he could still hear their voices. whispering. asking – why wasn’t he gone TOO?

persisting against his better judgement. knock, knock, knocking. he could get up. he could open it. only to find what he’d already known to be true. he was falling into his steady decent into INSANITY. slowly, but surely. nothing but the lost whisper of forgotten friends lingering. ALWAYS. teeth digging deeper into his bottom lip as the knocking continued. the hallow sound like scraping screams. that he could only imagine in his nightmares. fingers digging deeper. he was MAKING IT UP, MAKING IT UP. it wasn’t there. but he had to make it stop - one way or another. prove his mind’s own CRIPPLING. it wasn’t like anyone was going to answer back. the door wasn’t real. the knocking wasn’t real. he had to just DISPEL it.

a hoarse voice echoing through the single floor, trying to have some authority. butFAILING, in it’s encompassing diversion under his crumbling disposition, stammering out to that slipping grasp on reality, his LAST shot. “ — i- it’s … it …. is …. UNLOCKED. ”

to say he was afraid was an understatement. he KNEW markus would never would never HURT him. ( though a pestering voice in his head refused to let him forget all the men from priapia, all the men he thought were safe and kind and gentle and NOTHING LIKE MARKUS, but he didn’t know that before they hurt him. ) edwyn had been gone MONTHS, and who knew what could happen in that time? no matter how markus had changed, there was certainty without a shadow of doubt that he wouldn’t want edwyn anymore; not now, not broken. a few seconds of tense stillness froze edwyn to the very core. it was like waiting for a S L A P to connect with delicate skin: tensing as he braces for impact, the seconds feeling never-ending, unable to do ANYTHING to stop the impending doom. he began to wonder when waiting outside markus’ door was ever associated with PAIN. finally, a rough voice so vastly different from what he remembered yet still so distinctly HIS ( edwyn cursed himself for letting his heart skip a few beats the space instead filled with markus markus markus when he knew perfectly well what was coming ) came from the other side of the door. it’s unlocked. edwyn’s stomach flipped, hands shaking harder than before if it was even possible. there wasn’t a doubt in his mind what he wanted, what he’d come here for, though fear was practically making him dizzy, he found the courage or perhaps the blind stupidity to wrap thin fingers round the door knob, turn, click, push. and there he was. if he looked harder, maybe he’d see that his LOVE was barely a ghost of what he once was. if he was ever lively or bright or fun, it didn’t show; he looked so dark, so sullen, as if any of that LIGHT couldn’t shine through. it couldn’t push through whatever shadows had crawled in and festered in the poor boy’s soul. edwyn saw none of that. all he saw was his LOVE, and the fear pulsed harder through his veins, but god, he loved him & the tears already sprang into his eyes, pouring down his cheeks as he stood in the door, forgot entirely how to speak, and SHOOK.

#angeluus #rp #|| iM OUT BY E