ᯓ ★ it feels like we have such a long way to go. ・ ・ ・ i know. but look how far we've come.
ianna ・ she / her ・ 21+ ・ i carry you everywhere i go
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@insanctuaries
ᯓ ★ it feels like we have such a long way to go. ・ ・ ・ i know. but look how far we've come.
ianna ・ she / her ・ 21+ ・ i carry you everywhere i go
Lucky 2 b here!
you understand that there's nothing wrong with wanting people to pay attention to you, right? it's not intrinsically evil, you are allowed to want to be seen. you can do it in soft and nice and good ways, but you don't even have to. you can just want to be seen.
a promise to myself - ribbon on paper
learning to stop hating yourself isn’t something that happens overnight.
it’s a series of negotiations you make with yourself over your whole life. it’s making one less self-deprecating joke. it’s looking at yourself in the mirror with a little more generosity. it’s forgiving yourself for that little mistake.
it’s not one thing and then you’re good. it’s many small choices you can make that slowly make your brain and body a little less uncomfortable to live with
Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena
your past self was doing the best it could. You know more now, and in the future, you’ll know even more! You grow each day! Don’t hate the past versions of you for not knowing what you know now.
oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too.
one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.
— Mikko Harvey, from For M (via lunamonchtuna)
"But… First… You've gotta make sure that no more holes open up beneath you… And that even if you fall you don't think of it as a failure… So that once you're out you can laugh again… And not because you're trying to hide your pain. So that you can go 'Hahaha!' from the bottom of your heart."
every other week, my mom would make a giant pot of vegetable soup. she'd pack half of it in a tupperware and take it to her best friend's house. they both had three kids whose ages aligned. they'd lock us out of the house and go through each room, finding every piece of dirty laundry and then spend the afternoon keeping the washer and dryer running, folding and putting away each load while gossiping.
every alternate week, her best friend would come to our house with a tupperware full of chicken spaghetti. they'd stick us in front of a tv with a stack of disney vhs tapes and go through each room, finding every dirty dish, and then spend the afternoon at the kitchen sink, washing each dish by hand while gossiping.
it wasn't always soup and spaghetti and laundry and dishes. but it was almost always a meal and a chore. here is a night you don't have to cook dinner. here is a chore you can cross off your list. and here is a day you don't have to spend alone. because really food and friendship and a feeling of accomplishment are what we all need most.