The Randomness, The Seriousity

 I like ice cream, fluffy animals, floating in the ocean, bearded men of all beautiful colors, sunny skies, procrastinating, laughing, and road trips to nowhere in particular. 

[muyintedezante]

[pumpkinsandmoons]

This just shined a light in the darkness of my depressive episode

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is my lack of words, a sign of health? the withdrawal from the desire, should need to hide, process independently, confine to space and vocabulary concise - a bow on a package is that compulsion towards perfection, organized thought and emotion, limiting? Am I better in my real time processing? More trusting in the ears and broad shoulders that surround me Life is moving, blink by blink I work and exist I haven't written, & posted in months. Drafts perhaps - skeletons of past selves, no matter how weak. So I'll write, for the sake of remembering My lids are heavy, blinking tired. You, are everything. My precious sun.

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maaaaaaaaaaaan my brain couldn't just take a W and shut the fuck up for a bit huh?

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i hope you love me

[ansagirr-blog]

[lost-moonlight]

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The thought of suddenly losing Dan, is...inexplicably terrifying.

I don't think I realized how integral he is to my life - how perhaps, dependent I am upon him - until these recent events.

I delay processing, or deflect emotional stress until I can see him; and by the grace of our relationship, the comfort of the room - stress is transformed into humor or nonchalance.

Not having him to process, to harbor me is a world I didn't envision - at least so soon. The thought of losing him without saying goodbye, without over validating how grateful I am to him makes a welt rise in my throat, immediately.

Do you find a second therapist to grieve the first?

[hipstered]

[insert-a-cliche-here]

today is wanton slime cloying, irritant like too hot wax stuck to hair that loves home deeply rooted, too much

if your hands were on me would I feel better? or is the weight of you, drowning me even if it feels good, right, to die

days like today seem monumental short term catastrophe, long term blip how do we cope and fight what will we, can we, win?

I want to sleep forever in these days escape behind lids, happy in your arms lips that my mind creates don’t you want to weather the storm together?

[nick-avallone]

[treasurethedream-deactivated201]

[agentlewoman-deactivated2019062]

“Let me tell you, this generation coming up — unselfish, altruistic, creative, patriotic — I’ve seen you in every corner of the country. You believe in a fair, and just, and inclusive America; you know that constant change has been America’s hallmark, that it’s not something to fear but something to embrace, you are willing to carry this hard work of democracy forward. You’ll soon outnumber any of us, and I believe as a result the future is in good hands.

My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my remaining days. But for now, whether you are young or whether you’re young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your president — the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.

I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change — but in yours.”

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texting other bros while in bed with one already 🙃

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Next time D and I hang out, we are going to visit dogs at a shelter, then come back to my house and make a fort in the atrium so we can listen to Beach House's full discography on vinyl.

Then we will inevitably bang because neither of us have any self control 🙃

[insert-a-cliche-here]

great friend, great head

[insert-a-cliche-here]

every time I turned, you were watching me

the song, a narrative of our love for each other

labyrinthine, wistful, unspoken home

[justcrashheretonight]

Visit Original Link

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flowersinoctober:

me whenever a straight man talks to me for more than 30 seconds

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I thought my unhappiness, boredom was result of environment at first.

With the twins - one room, 16 months. Luke & Marlena - the violence and separation in ability/behavior. With B&J again, I realize I'm just done.

I have no creative or intellectual outlet. I have no meaning except to clean other people's houses and listen to marital problems - provide respire from the children that overwhelm them.

I'm unfulfilled in this job, but afraid to take another. Since my depression, I don't have confidence in my identity. How do I market, be dependable with an unstable vision of self?

The apathy is consuming and I can't help to fear that I'm regressing; this is how it started before.