(I need to take another hiatus. I have one Hell of a cold, my sleep schedule is out of whack, I have adult matters to attend to that I've not yet gotten to (like opening a bank account, going to GED orientation, finding a job, etc.), and I haven't been eating right. I haven't been able to write properly in a very long time, and it just keeps getting harder because I'm getting overwhelmed with my RL obligations.
So I'm taking a hiatus! A short one! And during that hiatus I'll be working on the bio, relationships page, and RP tracker for this blog while trying to piece my own life together.
My life is a fucking mess. I suffer from depression, and most days, I can't even manage to get out of bed. I haven't done laundry or eaten a decent meal in God knows how long. I just left the house for something other than an appointment for the first time in a long time on Sunday. For God's sake, it's getting so bad I get nightly urges to swallow two full bottles of painkillers and a bottle of adderall (it's what I have stocked in my room). And stressing over RP is just making this all so much harder, so much worse.
Because RPing is my only consistent hobby. Writing is all I'm really good at. And when I start to struggle with something I'm supposed to be good at, it leaves me with thoughts of "why the fuck should I even bother; I fucking suck. I should just kill myself because obviously I'm not of any use to anyone." My thoughts snowball fairly quickly, which makes it hard to, well, exist.
So! I need a break! And during that break I'll be putting up a thread tracker and other things so I can keep track of who I'm RPing with and hopefully continue some threads!
Right now I'm just not mentally stable, and I really hope you all understand and don't hold it against me. I can't help that I'm depressed, but I can do something to make it easier to manage.
I do want to RP with you guys, though! I love RPing! And I love interacting with all of these different characters! I'm sorry if I seemed uninterested with any of you! That was not my intention at all! It's just been very hard for me to reply to things lately, and I'm so sorry!
I should be back in about a week! By then, I should have my head screwed on straight enough, and I should be over this nasty cold. I'm sorry, but it's for my own good!)