🦋 @into-the-new-w0rld - Tumblr Blog

200923 Namjoon’s reply to an ailing, despairing ARMY

It’s hard to admit but we cant solve every kinds of problems. Sometimes it just feels too much to bear myself. But when things are too tough I think of the faces who I love, and who love me, like you. S**t truly happens and it might not change. But it’s okay to fail and tumble. I hope we could stay strong and fly together, whatever’s underneath the ground.

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#i feel like at this point i've wasted so much of my life on kpop and living vicariously through idols that idk how to function without that #i feel so angry at myself for letting kpop consumee me to the point where my life was nothing else #i've neglected myself and my future for years #i've been like this ever since i was young where i allow my interest to suck me in to the point where nothing else matters #but it was so much worse with kpop and for soooo long just fixated on the same thing and not striving to achieve anything of my own #i've done nothing with my life and i am so lost #kpop was a bandaid that covered the shell of a person i really am #seriously idk what is wrong with me because obvi it's possible to be a stan and not let it consume you #but i just don't know how to do that #i never learned how #i'm just so angry #always thinking about all that i missed in life bc i had to stay up for comeback or watch bon voyage or run bts #all of the money i spent when i should have been saving #god i'm an embarrassment #wasted my best years #so angry. i'm so angry.#and when i think about it #this recent depressive episode i've been having correlates with when i unintentionally started leaning away from kpop #i think when it was gone and i was no longer invested in it was when i realized how unhappy and unsatisfied i am with my life #and i didn't realize before bc how the hell does fucking kpop lead to something as serious as what happened to me earlier this year #but yknow #it's less about the kpop itself but more about what it represented #it was an obsession that made me forget about my own life #much like in the same way weed does too #except kpop was a constant distraction #so instead of being honest with myself about what i really wanted to do with my life and setting myself up for that path #i did something was /okay/ with instesd bc i had idols to live through and bts specifically i could see their achievments and be #temporarily satisfied and happy #but i'm now realizing that what i've truly wanted all along was to pursue the arts #now i've set myself up on a path in the wrong direction

when it comes to remakes/reboots, Star Trek has always been one of my favourites. instead of attempted to re-tell the story which is bound to make people disappointed, they found a way to re-invent it that made sense. that way, they were able to create their own path in that universe with those characters. it gave a sense of familiarity as well as the freshness of something new. it was such an innovative way to do a remake.

so when i finished the first part of the ff7 remake, oh my god, i felt it in my bones. they did the same thing that Star Trek did, and i truly think it's groundbreaking. we've already lived through the original, and we've already been broken by it too. this is such an intelligent way to tell a new story while retaining the characters and setting, which were the key parts that made the original so special.

ff7 in particular has completely warped the standard for remakes. it was phenomenal in many ways and the excitement i felt playing this game is something i haven't felt in a very long time with any game. it was, simply put, a magical experience, much like the original. they recreated that spark, but they did it in a different way. a new way. truly something remarkable that i and many others will never forget.

#aqua speaks #final fantasy #ff7 #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #pls i still sobbed but i'm genuinely so impressed #and yes i just finished it now because i avoided it for the longest ever time #but man it's definitely worth investing 50 hrs of your life #i am in complete shock #i def have my issues with nomura but i gotta hand it do him for this one #i will literally never shut up about this game #srsly last time i felt this way playing a game was Kingdom Hearts 2 ... like that was a long time ago #ahhh my chest feels so fuzzy i just can't believe they fucking did that fiendjsjjdje

i really miss how happy kpop used to make me

#aqua speaks #like it's still good music and of course i still listen to it #but now it's more of just a music genre to me #and less of a hobby #bangtan will always be close to my heart but i think it's time to divulge in other areas of my life #and try to better myself #try to focus on my recovery #like with kpop in general i used to be so !!!!!!! whenevee there was a new release and i would stay up and stream and whatever #it's just not like that anymore #i would even skip important things to be there for the drop or the stream or the award show #i just don't /feel/ it that way anymore #new release? cool i'll check it out when i get home #kpop has honestly consumed my life for years now and it's come at a cost #it's time for me to stop vicariously living through these people and figure out who i am and live my life

valendyke

take my quiz and find out what your inner stuffed toy is

#stuffed panda

i'm .. fucking crying about winnie the pooh

#kh3 #finally going back to 100% the game #oh my fucking god any winnie the pooh media always makes me sob #i hate that it makes me so emotional fiendjdjjsjd #kingdom hearts

into-the-new-w0rld

i finally decided to continue kh3 since i never beat it before and oh my god ??? how did i ever not like this game before ???

into-the-new-w0rld

update: i beat it and know i am crying myself to sleep at 5am

#aqua speaks #kh #when xion roxas and lea has their reunion i actually had to sob for like 10 minutes before i continued #and oh my god terra #oh my god oh my god oh my god #that is my only reaction #also they did my girl kairi so dirty i can't believe it #i have lot's of Opinions on everything but for now i'm satisfied goodnight

i'm thinking i should complete my intro gfx for rap line too now that it's all complete

#aqua speaks #it's not like i don't have the time lol #bts

i finally decided to continue kh3 since i never beat it before and oh my god ??? how did i ever not like this game before ???

#aqua speaks #kh #kingdom hearts #i'm home again

commodorecliche

Knives Out was a major problem for all us bisexuals out there with a sweater kink:

#watched knives out last night #deceased

chained-heart-deactivated202311

i believe that i’ll fall in love again. i believe that i’ll fall in love with somebody else, someone who is not you. because right now i don’t think you’re the person i thought i was looking for and i don’t think i can find that person in you.

@wordsbreathe c / never settle for the wrong person

please take time for yourselves today. i love you.

#aqua speaks #twitter is a mess pls stay off it if you can't handle it #i scrolled for 30 seconds and now i'm a sobbing mess #i'm here for you if you want to talk to someone 💜#pls dont feel alone #you're not

hoshees

we all have different ways of grieving. if you need to reblog music and quotes and photos to grieve, do that. if you need to send messages asking for help or giving encouragement to others, do that. if you need to make an edit or write a text post expressing your grief, do that. if you need to close this app, put your phone on silent, and go back to bed, do that.

but please, please don’t feel hopeless. please don’t feel like this is the end. don’t let all of jonghyun’s words of encouragement and love be overshadowed by this darkness. i’m here for you, we are all here for you. please don’t leave too.

duuuuuuucky

Joker (2019) is not an encouragement of violence, it does not condone its main character’s actions; what Joker is, is a cautionary tale to a society that idolizes those that step on those weaker than them. It does not say that the little guy should rise up but it does say that if we do not start taking care of each other those above will “get what they fuckin’ deserve”