niamh dagbjørnsdóttir; selkie muse. multi-ship & multi-verse. by arlo (they/them).
a study in; healing from trauma, learning to love life, giving kindness to others, finding joy in the small things, loving nature, exploring the world around you with fresh eyes, and singing during the hard times.
so I have to get my tooth extracted and it's one of my very front teeth and I have had. Two breakdowns over it today. So that's where I am at mentally. Depending on how I feel I may do some writing tomorrow after I get home but idk honestly. I'm very upset and stressed out and frustrated at myself.
Okay tooth update! I got my tooth pulled and I look very silly. But the dentists were very kind and are going set up another appointment in July so we can do a full exam, so I can start getting my teeth fixed, and once they are all done then I can get a partial upper denture plate for my missing teeth.
My mouth is sore but it feels so much better than the infected tooth did. The dentist showed me the tooth and the cavity was gnarly lol. But thank you to everyone who checked in on me and sent kind words, I appreciate it so much. ;^; You are all very sweet.
so I have to get my tooth extracted and it's one of my very front teeth and I have had. Two breakdowns over it today. So that's where I am at mentally. Depending on how I feel I may do some writing tomorrow after I get home but idk honestly. I'm very upset and stressed out and frustrated at myself.
a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel a torch against the night by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.
how did they find us so fast?
if your sins were blood, you would drown in a river of your own making.
you ask what am i, but what are you?
stay out of the way. no matter how bad it looks, don't interfere, don't try to help.
when the fear takes over, use the only thing more powerful, more indestructible, to fight it: your spirit. your heart.
we have to keep going. we have to get out of the city.
if something happens to me, don't fear.
you took long enough. i’ve waited hours.
if you think i need an army to destroy you, you are mistaken.
don’t falter now, fool. you’ll regret it.
bad luck to lie to a comrade-in-arms.
do you enjoy it? the hurt you cause? the pain? i can see it. you carry it with you. why? does it bring you happiness?
i don’t mean to–i don’t want to hurt people.
you destroy all those who get close to you.
you are dead, you just don’t know it yet.
you’ve been blacked out for hours. i thought you might not wake up.
don’t you dare fade out on me again.
i can’t do this without you.
stay. don’t go back. i need you.
i’m going to hurt you. i hurt everyone.
try to stay. you were gone for so long last time, and i need you to stay.
tell me another story. tell me another memory. something good.
if you care for [name], then do not let [name] care for you.
like the poison that rages within you, you have no antidote.
willpower alone cannot change one’s fate.
thirteen fractures is nothing.
i’m about as good with tears as i am with declarations of love.
every time i stare into your eyes, i see my nightmares.
now you seem older and harder and, perhaps most terrifyingly, wiser.
he insisted that killing you would lead to my doom.
to be honest, i’m tempted to slit your throat just to see what happens. perhaps i still will.
i’m yours to command, my lord.
i don’t have allies. i have people who owe me things and people who want things and people who use me and people whom i use.
you swore to be the sword that executes my will. now is the chance to prove your loyalty.
i need him dead and i want you to be the one who kills him.
i want you to watch the light die in his eyes. i want him to know it’s the person he cares for most in the world who shoved a blade through his heart.
i want it to haunt you for all your days.
he’s sly enough to escape the bounty hunters quite easily, but you and i both know that he would never be able to escape you.
how do i kill the man i love?
forgive me, but how can you speak to me of obsession?
small victories have made you daring. do not let them make you stupid.
you have your orders. carry them out.
it will destroy you if you’re not careful.
would you care to hear my theory?
your injuries tell me you’ve seen battle.
the problem with greedy people is that they think everyone is as greedy as they are.
we’re surrounded.
i’ll catch you.
almost there. stay with me now.
i’m glad you’re alright and i know you’re risking so much to do this for me. thank you.
you kept me alive. you kept yourself alive.
you’re as brave as your mother. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
i can’t help the people i’ve hurt. i can’t change what i did to them.
if i do this, then perhaps i’ll make up for some of the evil i’ve brought into this world.
how sure are you?
as long as you want to save him, then i will help you. i made a vow. i’m not going to break it.
i swore fealty. you made me swear fealty.
i trusted you. i believed you. i did what you wanted.
do not let despair take you. hold true to your heart.
this is what it means to have faith, to believe in something greater than yourself.
the blood, it won’t come off. it’s–it’s everywhere.
most successful missions are just a series of badly averted disasters.
either we lost them, or they’re being very clever about keeping themselves hidden. i’m thinking the latter.
you want to talk now? after weeks of not even looking at me?
i look at you even when i shouldn’t.
i am the last person who will judge you for killing in your own defense. look at what i am. look at my life.
i left you alone because i thought you might find comfort in solitude.
so much death. it’s everywhere. what’s the point then of living? will i ever escape it?
your emotions make you human. even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. don’t lock them away. if you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.
why do you do that? you close yourself up. you shut me out because you don’t want me to get close. what about what i want? you won’t hurt me, [name].
i don’t trust you, not about this.
do not pull rank with me.
don’t take offense, but i don’t know you. so you’ll forgive me if i don’t trust you.
how long until they kill each other, d’you think? and who strikes first?
i won’t hurt you, but you can’t let fear take you.
i’m hurt, [name]. you’re not nearly as friendly as the first time we met.
if you do betray me, i will not go down without a fight.
even your ally is helping us. more reason for you to do the same.
you didn’t get to where you are by breaking promises. grant my favor. fighting it is a waste of time.
it has changed you, [name]. it does matter.
always so afraid of the darkness within. don’t you see? so long as you fight the darkness, you stand in the light.
i’ve been looking all over for you. stay with me! we have to get out of here.
i’ll distract them and meet you there.
you were my best friend. i can’t just throw that away.
don’t. don’t call me that. everybody calls me that. but not you..
i wouldn’t expect you to understand.
i have to leave, but i don’t want to hurt you. i’m so sick of hurting people.
i miss you. i’ll always miss you. even when I’m a ghost.
keep your head down and stay.
family is worth dying for, killing for. fighting for them is all that keeps us going when everything else is gone.
i know what it is to do things that you don’t want to for a greater good.
you are my temple. you are my priest. you are my prayer. you are my release.
we both know I’m not long for this world.
exhaustion makes for failed missions.
i’m the reason he’s dead.
sleep where you wish. i will not disturb you.
atop all else, are you an oathbreaker too?
keep your vow to me, and i will bring order to this empire. betray me, and watch it burn.
i hope i see you again.
forget that you did not say goodbye–you did not even give me a chance to object to your decision.
secrets are a snake’s way of doing business.
the vow I made to you, it was all for nothing.
most people are nothing but glimmers in the great darkness of time. but you, [name], are no swift-burning spark. you are a torch against the night–if you dare to let yourself burn.
you see assurances. i can offer you none.
breaking your fealty will have its cost, as will keeping it. only you can weigh those costs.
you think knowing will make it easier, but knowing makes it worse.
knowing is a curse.
stay alive. protect them. help any others you can. that’s the only payment i expect i’ll get.
what honor is there in a useless death?
how’s this for a trade: you tell me what i want, and i don’t gut you.
in the cold, you don’t realize how much you’re pushing yourself. you’ll collapse if you’re not careful.
we won’t get anywhere if we’re dead.
you’ll exhaust yourself into illness.
pain is how you know you loved her.
i wish didn’t remember. i wish i didn’t love her.
what point is there in being human if you don’t let yourself feel anything?
you’re not afraid. why aren’t you afraid?
true suffering lies in the expectation of pain as much as in the pain itself.
are we fools for finding comfort in the midst of such madness?
what is there to live for if not the moments of joy? what is there to fight for?
give me your guilt, i’ll hold it for you.
why didn’t you listen to me? look at you.
you always think everyone is your responsibility, but we’re not.
you are loved, you are not alone, and you deserve to know that.
you said i didn’t have to do it alone.
you brood and make questionable choices that put your own life at risk, but you’re a good person.
failure doesn’t define you. it’s what you do after you fail that determines whether you are a leader or a waste of perfectly good air.
what did we fight for if it was just going to end like this?
it is as if your very fate is to leave a trail of destruction.
William watches Niamh for a moment, a small smile slowly spreading across his face. It can't be helped. There is a selkie who, in his humble opinion, needs his arms around her. So he does, resting his face in her hair, counterpoint heartbeats strong against her chest.
She wasn't expecting the hug, but it certainly isn't unwelcome. She giggles as he nestles his face against her curls. "Hello to you, too." Her arms slip around him and she hums happily.
She gives him a little squeeze. "I think we should go take a dip in the hot springs later. It's the perfect day for it." Is she suggesting it just because she wants to look at his ass? Maybe. Maybe not. It's a secret.
i have a dental appointment today (emergency toothache needs to be fixed) and my anxiety is through the roof but hopefully later I will be feeling better. I would like to do some writing if I can make my brain cooperate. :(
Having a blorbo is SO wonderful bc you get free joy for thinking about them being happy but also free joy for thinking about them being miserable. No losing
i wish i had a better excuse than "i'm tired from work and my chronic pain has been hurting a lot" about why i'm so behind on drafts and my inbox but. i don't.