keep it secret

Independent, slow reply multimuse. written by Ellie

[endingchanged-archive]

          ❝   …   Actually ,   Nina and the girls were planning on throwing me a little   get together   for my birthday this year …   ❞     There’s   hesitation   in her voice ,   a faint yet audible brace for impact.    ❝    Besides   ––––    aren’t birthday slumber parties a little too   kiddie ?   ❞   / /    @inventingtruth

[inventingtruth]

        Her body stiffens coldly at the answer, eye’s shutting, remaining so for a moment as her head shakes in clear annoyance.  ❝  — I guess.  ❞  When they open again, she opts to look away, looking anywhere but Emma, as if it would delay confronting the feeling that the girl she calls ‘ best friend ’ was slowly shutting her out, becoming a distant stranger.  ❝ Any other traditions you want to THROW AWAY while we’re at it?  ❞ 

[inventingtruth]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY U LIL PEACH !!  can u believe i wrote ‘lil bitch’ at first (on accident … probably)  &  then when i was doing this lame graphic i wrote ‘happy bitchday'  &  almost didn’t catch it ???  obviously it means i hate you.  anyway my graphic skills suck but BRAUDREY !!  our fave gays.  OK BUT i already got mushy on you today  &  as much as i love embarrassing your ass, i don’t want it to reflect on me  &  look gross or nice or smth, both r terrible, so i’ll just say THANK YOU for existing, you’re so, so important to me  &  i hope you have a kick ass year, xoxo. - anna // cravesfreedom

p.s. wow this submit thing is ancient so pls put this in some tiny ass text so i don’t publicly humiliate myself w/ my lack of aesthetique. 

[jaxcaps]

[cfmusings-blog]

i’m not sure which is ωσяѕє. losing   you     or    the   guilt of   knowing    it’s    my  fault.

[poetryatmost]

She was not fragile like a flower; She was fragile like a bomb.

Poetry At Most (via afrouif)

[inventingtruth]

❛ You love me? Or you think you love me? ❜

        ❝ Wow — You really don’t trust my judgement anymore, do you? ❞  A deadly glare warning anyone to stay away darkens her eyes, accompanied by a burning so hot in her cheeks, she knows it must be showing through.  Arms once clenched tightly against her sides are consciously wrapped close to her chest, allowing her fingers to dig painfully into the bare flesh or her biceps in attempt to channel her thoughts away from the anxiety coursing in her veins and trembling throughout her limbs — Emma’s accusation still hurts worse.

       ❝  I’ve known you half as long as I’ve been alive; you don’t think I’ve figured out the difference yet? ❞   What stings the most is knowing how many years she spent accusing herself of the same mistake.  During their frequent sleepovers, while Emma slept beside her, she remained wide awake trying to fit pieces of inaccurate information together to make sense of the warm nerves in her chest that only grew hotter every second her awareness renewed of the girl resting beside her, so closely that their arms touched.  For everyone else, it seemed simple.  Girls liked boys — with the exception of the gay minority that only showed up on mainstream media as completely sure of themselves, something Audrey definitely wasn’t.

       That same question uncovered an eerie loneliness with the slow realization that she’d rather be with Emma than anyone else on the planet; more than any guy who tried to get close to her, or who she let in briefly only to shut back out abruptly because of how much the experience revolted her.

       She painstakingly pieced it together the best she could with fragments and crude edges, missing parts and certainly a few mistakes — but the answer she came up with was personal, and for so many years only hers, decidedly never to be shared with anyone else, especially not Emma.

       To have it aired like dirty laundry, now of all moments, while Noah was suffering somewhere, exacts the feeling of the custom-made nightmare. She didn’t even realize she’d been pacing while she drowned in her own thoughts. She stops in place, taking an achingly sharp inhalation,   ❝Whatever, it doesn’t matter now —- we need to focus on Noah!❞

question sentence starters || @endingchanged

[inventingtruth]

awesomegaydar

cravesfreedom

     ❛  hey !  —  are we still on for TONIGHT ?  ❜   he’s referring to the conversation between santana  &  audrey he was in the proximity of, but wasn’t actually a part of  ;  still, he assumes the invite is extended to him because they said the words ‘horror’  &  ‘movies.’   //  @awesomegaydar  &  @inventingtruth 

from  hooper , to  polanski , to  whale;  when  santana  mentioned  a  classic  horror  marathon  she  wasn’t  including  a  THIRD  WHEEL  in  their  dual  party  ( she  wasn’t  really  planning  on  watching  the  movie  to  completion  anyway ) so  needless  to  say ,  noah’s  voice  triggers  her  fight  response  &  cue  the  murderous ,  deadly  glare  –  if  looks  could  kill ,  noah  foster  would  have  a  gravestone  right  next  to  nina’s  in  lakewood’s  graveyard.  “  i’m  going  to  find  EVERY  SINGLE  precious  item  you  own  &  i’m  gonna  light  it  on  fire ,  just  like  i  did  with  all  those  ugly  cheer leading  uniforms ;  they’ll  be  ashes  before  you  have  time  to  sue  me  for  destruction  of  personal  property…”

          ❝ ----which is absolutely a true story. ❞ The amusement from Santana's retort is plain on her face, but upon seeing the look on Noah's, she quickly extinguishes it, nudging an elbow into the other girl’s torso. ❝ Don't listen to her --- she's kidding. ❞ Her eyes travel back to Santana, carrying an attempt at an ambiguous apology. The pause only lasts a moment before she’s reached a decision. ❝ 8pm. Your place, Noah? ❞  There's a hesitance in her voice as it follows the spontaneity of the thought. ❝ I'd say mine but you know my dad's open door policy. ❞ || @cravesfreedom

[inventingtruth]

      He pats the table twice with his palm, a friendly smile emerging between dry lips. ❝ Come on. If I wanted peace and quiet, I wouldn’t park my ass at the noisiest diner in town. Sit down & keep me company.  ❞ || @cravesfreedom

[gifsofanarchy]

[inventingtruth]

HEADCANON ; AUDREY --- important objects. 

  * The camcorder  was a gift from her parents after she showed interest in her mother’s own tendency to record important moments. She immediately brought it to school to show Emma; there, she noticed its repellent effects when aimed at school bullies (nina & her crew) and it quickly became a method of self defense. Even as they called her ‘film freak’ and the like, she didn’t hate it more than ‘lesbian.’ So while videography is a form of expression, she also relies on it to put a wall between her and others. For example, she uses it to repel people the day after her and rachel’s video went viral. 

She’s seen with it less and less, and especially in season two, she hardly picks it up. I believe this is mostly because she doesn’t need it as much. Nina’s gone, and she has a network of friends to be around who accept her.

 * The key she wears around her neck is not a functional one, but rather a “giving key.” It belonged to her mother who received it from a friend soon after her cancer diagnosis, and she passed it on to her agnostic daughter for strength and faith after her prognosis grew more grim. Audrey’s uncertain she’ll ever be in a place where she feels she can give the key away as intended, she wants to keep it because it reminds her of her mother. (Inspired by Bex’s tumblr post clarifying Audrey received it from her mom.)

 * The station wagon she drives was a family vehicle and she has a lot of memories in it. For a while the family had two station wagons, but the maroon one was taken off the road when her mother was hospitalized, and put back on for her 16th birthday. 

( also shout out to that elven sword from 01x06 that definitely came from Noah!! She loves that too so I couldn’t not give it a special mention. ) 

[finalgirlfriends]

[awesomegaydar-a]

i  love  girls  the  way  that  i’m  supposed  to  feel  about  boys .  it’s  something  that’s  always  been  inside  of  me  &  i  really  want  to  share  it  with  you  because  i  love  you  so  much ,  &  I  want  you  to  know  me  –  who  i  really  am …         (&)  i’ve  tried  so  hard  to  push  this  feeling  away  &  keep  it  locked  inside  but  every  day  just  feels  like  a  war  &  i  walk  around so  mad  at  the  world  but  I’m  really  just  fighting  with   myself .  i  don’t   want  to  fight  anymore ,  i’m  just  too  tired .  i  have  to  just  be  me .

independent ,  selective ,  santana  lopez    written   by:  liz

[battlemagick]

BATTLEMAGICK   ( NOUN )   :    An independent   Kady Orloff Diaz   from SyFy’s The Magicians.   Heavily headcanon-based and canon-averse.   Writes with mutuals only   –––   plotting preferred.    Narrated by   ilse ,   21+.  

[awesomegaydar-a]

“  i  said :  ‘touch  me  again  &  i’ll  end  you’ .  he  touched  me  again  &  i  kicked  him  right  in  the  jingle  bells  .”  // @inventingtruth​

[inventingtruth]

       ❝ so probably safe to say we won’t be dealing with his ass ‘til thursday.  ---- nicely done. though it’s a shame i wasn’t around so you could enjoy that instant replay forever. ❞  a quick shake of the camcorder in hand for clarity. 

[inventingtruth]

      ❝ --- Problem.❞ The exaggerated huff that follows dramatically accentuates the fact that she’s still boiling over whatever she's preparing to disclose.  ❝ Turns out by super grounded he meant he went through my bag and stole my car keys --- so either you’re scaling the side of my house or the speed play of IMSCARED is officially cancelled. ❞ || @cravesfreedom​

[inventingtruth]

me: never on, barely writes. 

also me: send me memes

[vaememes]

° • ? ( QUESTION SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ What are you doing? ❜ ❛ Where are you going? ❜ ❛ Where are you taking me? ❜ ❛ How is that working out for you? ❜ ❛ Is everything okay? ❜ ❛ Why are you acting like this? ❜ ❛ You think I would lie to you? ❜ ❛ Are you telling the truth? ❜ ❛ Are you sure you want to do this? ❜ ❛ This is your bright idea of a plan? ❜ ❛ What else do you want me to do? ❜ ❛ What else can I do? ❜ ❛ What do you think I should do? ❜ ❛ What makes you think that? ❜ ❛ Who told you that? ❜ ❛ Who are you? ❜ ❛ Why are you here? ❜ ❛ Who invited you? ❜ ❛ How come you ever asked me? ❜ ❛ Did you really mean all those things you said? ❜ ❛ Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? ❜ ❛ Why is it so hard for you to see that? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you understand? ❜ ❛ What don’t you understand? ❜ ❛ Are you joking? ❜ ❛ Did I miss anything? ❜ ❛ You don’t remember? ❜ ❛ Did you really say all that stuff about me? ❜ ❛ Did you think I would forget? ❜ ❛ How can you sit there and say that? ❜ ❛ How do you even sleep at night? ❜ ❛ Are you coming or not? ❜ ❛ Am I the only one freaked out right now? ❜ ❛ Are you laughing or crying? ❜ ❛ Who did this to you? ❜ ❛ Did someone hurt you? ❜ ❛ Is it just me or are you, like, ignoring me? ❜ ❛ You want me to apologize for something you did? ❜ ❛ Are you going to kiss me or not? ❜ ❛ Aren’t you the one who said it though? ❜ ❛ So, you don’t like me like that? ❜ ❛ Where do we go from here? ❜ ❛ Are you being serious right now? ❜ ❛ How was I supposed to know that? ❜ ❛ Oh, is that a challenge? ❜ ❛ Are you flirting with me? ❜ ❛ Are you going to let me go now? ❜ ❛ Are we done now? ❜ ❛ Why didn’t just ask me? ❜ ❛ You’re going to believe them over me? ❜ ❛ How can possibly think that? ❜ ❛ Did you even miss me? ❜ ❛ Did anyone even notice that I was gone? ❜ ❛ Why do you go around and kiss everyone? ❜ ❛ Did you kill them? ❜ ❛ Who’s blood is that? Is that your blood? ❜ ❛ Do you think this is a game? ❜ ❛ Are you having doubts? ❜ ❛ Why haven’t you been at school/work? ❜ ❛ Is there something going on that you need to tell me? ❜ ❛ You said you wanted to talk? ❜ ❛ What am I supposed to do? ❜ ❛ What did you expect to happen? ❜ ❛ How long you think you can keep this act up? ❜ ❛ You don’t like me? Do you? Like in a more than a friend way? ❜ ❛ Is that what everyone is saying now? ❜ ❛ Who do I remind you of? ❜ ❛ Are you hungry? Want to go get something to et? ❜ ❛ Are you drunk? ❜ ❛ Are you lost? ❜ ❛ What’s so great about any of that anyway? ❜ ❛ Are you even listening to yourself? ❜ ❛ What are you going to do about it, huh? ❜ ❛ What are you staring at? ❜ ❛ What are you doing out here? ❜ ❛ Why did you call the police? ❜ ❛ Wait, do you hear that? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you tell me anything? ❜ ❛ Hey, did you get me anything? ❜ ❛ Why didn’t you come over last night? ❜ ❛ What did you find out? ❜ ❛ Can I stay here for the night? ❜ ❛ Are you throwing rocks at my window? ❜ ❛ Are you crying? ❜ ❛ What are you laughing at me? ❜ ❛ Are you laughing at me? ❜ ❛ Do you not understand the word no? ❜ ❛ Is that it? Is that all? ❜ ❛ Are you in some kind of trouble? ❜ ❛ Yeah, but, you have me. So why bother? ❜ ❛ What’s love got to do with it? ❜ ❛ This is where we kiss, right? ❜ ❛ Do you ever not just only think about yourself? ❜ ❛ Are going to leave me again? ❜ ❛ What’s wrong with that? ❜ ❛ Do you have anything you need to say to me? ❜ ❛ I think I’m going to puke. Is there a trash can in here? ❜ ❛ You really don’t know why I’m mad at you? ❜ ❛ Why do you treat me like I’m not important to you? ❜ ❛ Why are you telling me this? ❛ Are you ready? ❜ ❛ What’s with all the questions? ❜ ❛ I thought this is what you wanted? ❜ ❛ Where do you think you’re going with this? ❜ ❛ You’re just going to leave? ❜ ❛ Do you trust me? ❜ ❛ You love me? Or you think you love me? ❜ ❛ When will it ever stop? ❜ ❛ Do you think it’ll ever go away? ❜ ❛ What are you doing this weekend? ❜ ❛ You called for back up? ❜ ❛ What did I just witness? ❜ ❛ How do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else? ❜ ❛ Have you ever thought it? ❜ ❛ Are you wearing a wire? ❜ ❛ Is there something wrong? ❜ ❛ Is it something I said or something I did? ❜ ❛ What’s wrong? I thought that it was okay? ❜ ❛ Are you going to hold that against me forever? ❜ ❛ So, tell me, what else is new? ❜ ❛ You never actually cared, did you? ❜ ❛ You went to a party without me? ❜ ❛ Why wasn’t I invited? ❜ ❛ Do you think that’s a little fucked up? ❜ ❛ Oh, so you do speak? ❜ ❛ Do you think it’s really worth it in the end? ❜ ❛ How many more times do I have to tell you? ❜ ❛ You didn’t think that it would bother me? ❜