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I can’t stfu about my crush. The mascot for the department I’m working for at this con I’m in, is literally her name. I made her friendship bracelets for her and I today—I haven’t even known her a month yet. She is sick rn with a cold and I want to take care of her so bad. I need to calm down my heart, she is just a person. I want to know her and make her smile soooo bad

#j

banhmigoddess

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.

technoplanet

nokia 7260, which was announced in 2004 as part of a “fashion collection” alongside the nokia 7270 and the nokia 7280

I saw my friend for the first time in over a year. She’s moving to France next year. I laugh when I remember how I wish I could have kissed her in the dark room in high school. Fast forward over a decade later, we’re hitting 30 and I’m telling her about my crush being the bane of my existence. She says how crushes should be all consuming. I got a belt from her yard sale. I’ve always wanted something to remember her by. I hope to give her something that she can remember me by, even when she’s all the way in France.

I feel so lucky to have amazing friends in my life. It makes me cry thinking about how loved my friends make me feel. I’ve been crying a lot these past few days. The only songs I can bring myself to listen to are sad ones and ones of yearning.

May 2026 was a dreadful month, but I was able to ride the wave that led to a fun and reassuring June. July threw me a bait, and when I bit it, it showed me similar misfortunes of May. August is showing me a force of looking inward to guide my heart where it needs to be. We’ll see what comes of August. I’m going back to school this fall semester.

I used to like how fast time went by when you were in school. Min-maxing my schedule. My best friend was my planner. It felt like my planner and I could accomplish anything. Well, here we go again.

#j

Can’t think straight because I’m gay

Okay okay, my crush returned from her work trip and texts me. I tell her that I was counting down the days for her return and planning my next message to her. Which is true! And it’s the most risqué text I’ve sent to someone in YEARS. I was screaming because she either likes it or hates it. She takes longer to respond to this message and it makes me anxious and I start to wonder if that text was what ruined it all and she hated it. HOWEVER, she replies back and she is very receptive of my flirting and giving me the green light. She invited me over for dinner this Thursday night. I was screaming in my pillow!!!! Those doubts I had where I was unsure if she likes me back, there has to be something that she is feeling.

Anyways, what do I wear??? It’s been a disgusting humid hot here, that for my own comfort I want less clothing. What is a good outfit to wear!!! Do I wear my nice underwear so that I feel extra cute? I’m about to start my period any day now so maybe not the cutest ones.

I’m trying to savor these feelings because I haven’t had a crush on someone in YEARS. All this yearning and longing reminds me, I’m gay. Being open and authentic, means I’m also being vulnerable with her, especially with someone I’m still getting to know. Mind you I only hung out with her for the first time two weeks ago.

#j

I’m trying so hard and I’m at my limits. I couldn’t possibly do more, but I feel like I’m not good enough. Like Nikki being obsessed with Bear in Obsession, I’m obsessed with my progress in life. The only love I receive are from my friends and family, because I’m too ashamed to accept myself for who I really am. But if my loved ones can accept me, then so can I. I was raised to be valued and loved based only on swallow outcomes of success, that I can’t even accept myself as a human. I wish I could be free.

#j

kosmogrl

Just as I thought I was finally coming down from having a crush, she texts me. Suffering in silence as an addict to her, only erupting my feelings to my friends. I have no idea if she likes me back.

#j

I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS GIRL I HAVE A CRUSH ON. I only started getting to know her when we hung out in Tuesday, then I go see my friends at the lesbian bar last night, and my damn crush is there. I met her in March, but actually spending time with her three days ago.

I can’t lie having a crush is fun and exciting, but it feels like an addiction where I’m just waiting for my next hit—a text or when I’m going to see her again. I just met her, it’s not even serious. But why can’t I stop thinking about her. I’m trying to lock in, but everything reminds me of her. I can still feel her on my skin and how she looks when she is flustered and caught off guard.

I’m not even trying to get into a relationship right now. Having a crush is the bane of my existence. I couldn’t have predicted this, who knows what will come of us.

#j

I watched an animated video by Skelemonbones of Leon from RE: Requiem and Courage the Cowardly dog. It was Courage being Courage but in RE:R, and he is doing it screaming the whole time. I need to be more like Courage, do it anyways do it scared.

#j

I drive myself insane by being the victim of my own rules I live by. I hate struggling to take care of myself and making ends meet, so I desperately work to exhaustion to put effort in bettering my conditions. I never give myself proper rest, not just sleep, because I feel immense guilt if I rest. If I give myself proper rest, I feel like a loser who is complacent with the status quo. I know I need rest, but it’s hard to accept it. The last time I rested was because I was too burnt out and depressed to function. When my psychological stress manifested into physical symptoms, that’s when I pumped the breaks. I don’t have to be like this, but darn capitalism makes poor feel painful and I don’t want to keep struggling so hard

#j

the human condition makes me want to vomit, but the click clack of mahjong tiles reminds me of community and grit

#j

joeinct

Yakuza in Bathhouse, Photo by Horace Bristol, 1946

this sunday was tooo productive! i studied, had a meeting/class, took an exam (passed it), and did more studying. that was my 8am to 6pm. i only took a break to shower, hygiene, and eat. i’m exhausted and it’s not even monday yet.

yesterday was terribly busy as well. i had filipino martial arts class, got a haircut that made me want to cry, had lunch with friends (wore a hat), got a second haircut to fix the first one, practiced asl, then had dinner and cake for a friend’s last day in california.

i think i forgot how to rest. i am too opportunistic and i never let myself be bored.

i didn’t get to laundry this weekend, that’s for monday morning before work.

#j

cosmicanger

wani souma

My coworkers and I started a lil club of biweekly movie nights on Monday’s and mahjong nights on Wednesday’s 🥹

I’ve never had a job before where I made a tight knit friend group where it feels like we made our own community!! It all started because we wanted to be friends. We were sharing our feedbacks with each other on our clients after our shift. I just started asking a bunch of people at work if they play mahjong, then it became a thing.

We already started language exchange. I want to start suggesting skill sharing, hiking, mutual care, etc.

Though there was one coworker during mahjong yesterday who kept misgendering me. Me and my other coworker were trying to correct him, but he didn’t pick it up.

#j

This whole month of May I’ve been in shambles, which also means my writing is so good. I feel like a poet and a lyricist. The pain I feel flowing out my fingers, my words my voice needing a place to land and to scream into the void. I self-harmed for the first time in three years. I called the 988 national hotline again, the woman who answered my call knew this wasn’t my first or fifth rodeo. I’ve been journaling and junk journaling all my pain. I’ve been leaning heavy on my friends and family, I am reminded what it is like to be human. I am human, I make mistakes, and I cannot prevent accidentally hurting others. I try really hard not to, and I do my best with the information that I have on hand. I want to blanket my loved ones with my whole heart and soul. I am the people I surround myself with, and I’m so lucky every day to be full of love. I count my blessings and know my pain just needs time to be felt, I will make it through.

#j

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