tut mir leid

QPOC (he/they) enby sapphic. ‘97

[invisdisability]

the human condition makes me want to vomit, but the click clack of mahjong tiles reminds me of community and grit

[joeinct]

Yakuza in Bathhouse, Photo by Horace Bristol, 1946

[invisdisability]

this sunday was tooo productive! i studied, had a meeting/class, took an exam (passed it), and did more studying. that was my 8am to 6pm. i only took a break to shower, hygiene, and eat. i’m exhausted and it’s not even monday yet.

yesterday was terribly busy as well. i had filipino martial arts class, got a haircut that made me want to cry, had lunch with friends (wore a hat), got a second haircut to fix the first one, practiced asl, then had dinner and cake for a friend’s last day in california.

i think i forgot how to rest. i am too opportunistic and i never let myself be bored.

i didn’t get to laundry this weekend, that’s for monday morning before work.

[cosmicanger]

wani souma

[invisdisability]

My coworkers and I started a lil club of biweekly movie nights on Monday’s and mahjong nights on Wednesday’s 🥹

I’ve never had a job before where I made a tight knit friend group where it feels like we made our own community!! It all started because we wanted to be friends. We were sharing our feedbacks with each other on our clients after our shift. I just started asking a bunch of people at work if they play mahjong, then it became a thing.

We already started language exchange. I want to start suggesting skill sharing, hiking, mutual care, etc.

Though there was one coworker during mahjong yesterday who kept misgendering me. Me and my other coworker were trying to correct him, but he didn’t pick it up.

[invisdisability]

This whole month of May I’ve been in shambles, which also means my writing is so good. I feel like a poet and a lyricist. The pain I feel flowing out my fingers, my words my voice needing a place to land and to scream into the void. I self-harmed for the first time in three years. I called the 988 national hotline again, the woman who answered my call knew this wasn’t my first or fifth rodeo. I’ve been journaling and junk journaling all my pain. I’ve been leaning heavy on my friends and family, I am reminded what it is like to be human. I am human, I make mistakes, and I cannot prevent accidentally hurting others. I try really hard not to, and I do my best with the information that I have on hand. I want to blanket my loved ones with my whole heart and soul. I am the people I surround myself with, and I’m so lucky every day to be full of love. I count my blessings and know my pain just needs time to be felt, I will make it through.

[iftye]

stuck in a timeloop called i just have to get through this week

[archivearchangelica]

My first year campus room, 2001

[invisdisability]

I love playing mahjong!!

[invisdisability]

when my friend asked me if having subtitles on are okay, i was taken aback. me? watching without subtitles? i have live captions on during phone calls. i lip read when i’m out and about. i use asl when i can, however most people don’t know asl. i cannot hear if i cannot see. my username says it, i was born with hearing impairment

[invisdisability]

Having healthy relationships with guy friends is so healing! It makes me happy to be alive, it nurtures the wounds created by my father and past ex’s. I love when the guys allow me to dap and not just hug!! I’m one of them!! I am me!! I am alive!

[invisdisability]

My best creative writing is either about a lover or experiencing the pit of depression. It’s that need for human expression and connection, and finding all the best words to paint a big picture of how intense those highs and lows feel. Lately the depression pit and lover has been happening at the same time. Occasionally feeding into the other

[funstyle]

Isn't it awesome how everyone's a cultural critic and no one knows what they're talking about including myself

[funstyle]

Every rich white nyc twenty something with a substack thinks theyre susan sontag because they think theyre the only people that have thoughts. And here i am complaining about that on my tumblr like i have any credibility

[invisdisability]

I am sick for the seventh time this year, this year. I’ve been going to the ER and urgent care so many times this year because of how sick I’ve been getting. All I can say is that I work with children. They always cough at me and I’m sick for 2 weeks at a time

[stuckinapril]

Truest thing ever unfortunately

[invisdisability]

Whenever I am having self-critical thoughts of my insecurities, I think about how it’s more embarrassing to stay as I am, than to fail at trying something different.

Like no wonder I am dissatisfied with how things are, I know I can have a better life. That’s why I am making steps to get better, even though I feel like shite now. I just need to grow that grit and be tenacious af that my success is inevitable.

[and-fishing-equipment]

in 2026 DO NOT ask yourself whether your art is GOOD

instead ask:

is it SINCERE

was it CATHARTIC

was it FUN TO MAKE

is it MADE BY ME

and don't forget to stay silly