I'm Running Out of Ways to Say I'm Sorry || One Shot || Bayson
For weeks all Isaac did was stay in his room when he wasn't in class. It's not like it was much of a loss anyway. Storm after storm had been hitting the Midwest leaving it covered in inches of snow. That meant that going outside was more or less out of the question. There will still those few kids who would put on coats and mess around in the snow. But the novelty of snow had worn off for Isaac when he was nine and Matty smashed the snowman he and Kayla spent a lot of time building.
Staying locked away in his room was the best way of avoiding the possibility of maybe running into Will. He wouldn't have minded hanging around the library, picking through comic books or sci-fi novels. But Will loved the library just as much as Isaac did. Seeing as it was partly Isaac's fault that the older lad was locked away at Arkeon, the least that Isaac could do was let him have the library as his domain. He just made sure to stop by every few days, when he knew that Will was in class, and get a few more books to read while he was in his room.
Although, more often than not, Isaac just lied in bed and stare up at the ceiling. He would attempt to do his homework or read a book at his desk, but that would usually end with him staring at the wall. A million things crossed his mind when he spaced out.
What will happen to me when he got released from Arkeon? What will happen to Will when he got released from Arkeon? Don't think about Will. Would my parents let him back into the house? Would I know how to function in the actual world? Would I go back to dealing? What would Will do? Would his parents let him back? Don't think about Will. Maybe I could talk to Michael and get some help with everything. Maybe Will could talk to Michael about getting some help. Michael wouldn't mind helping Will, right? Stop thinking about Will. I could move away from everything. Run away to somewhere new and start over. Maybe I could talk to Will and we could go together. Maybe Will will actually talk to me again if I just sat down with him at lunch or something. Breakfast would actually be better. Will was always a morning person. I was the night owl. It's a wonder how Will would put up with me when I stayed the night at his. STOP THINKING ABOUT WILL.
Even though he tried not to, Isaac thought about Will a lot. It had been months since the two had even said two words to each other outside of astronomy class where Mr. Trent paired them up together for a project. When Mr. Trent started reading off the list of partners, Isaac wasn't sure if he wanted to hug his favourite teacher's husband, or slug him. It made his stomach flip, but he wasn't sure if it was a good flip or a bad flip. Will looked to be having a similar reaction to them being paired up. As expected, the class broke out into whispers and stared when Isaac got up and walked over to the table Will sat at. They looked like they would have watched them all class if Mr. Trent hadn't told everyone to quiet down and get to work. The project had been rocky to do, but the two always worked together well. Despite not once meeting out of class to work together, the two pulled a solid B out of the project. Then they went back to avoiding each other.
It was Saturday when Isaac woke up and decided that he would try and fix things. Even if it just meant that they were friends again and nothing more. Even just friends would be better than this. He dressed slowly and was still one of the first people down in the cafeteria for breakfast.
Lumpy oatmeal yet again, with toast that was more bread than toast. Isaac picked at his food, more pushing it around than eating it while he looked around for Will. By the time he choked down half of his food, the cafeteria was filled with students. None of them were Will Greyson. When a petty fight broke out in the breakfast line, Isaac decided that it would be best to leave.
After he dumped his tray, he went to his room to grab the books he had finished and went to the library for more. He pushed the books into the return box and started wandering through the stacks. With his arms full of books he searched for a place to see. He froze where he stood when he saw Will sitting alone at a table, hunched over a book.
It's just Will. He told himself as he stared at the lad. Why are you acting like this? What's the worst he could do? Ignore you? Get up and leave if he sees you? Yes! THAT IS THE WORST THING THAT HE COULD DO! Suck it up and just go sit with him, Isaac. You fucking pussy.
It was a solid minute or two before Isaac realized he was having a whole conversation in his head. He shook his head and started over to Will's table. Instead of asking to sit down, he just set his books in front of the chair across from Will and took a seat.
Will glanced up, bit his lip when he saw Isaac sitting across from him and continued his reading.
At least he didn't leave. Isaac smiled at he took the first comic book off the stack. It was one of the early issues of Watchmen. Since they showed the Watchmen movie last movie night, Isaac was curious if the comics sucked as much as the movie had. So far, the answer was yes. But most comic books were that great in the beginning of the series. Characters had to be introduced and back stories of the main characters had to be told before any of the real story line could even start. It was a slow going process, but Isaac had faith in The Watchmen. It had to get better.
Isaac leaned back in his chair, getting absorbed into the story that was finally picking up when he heard Will scoff.
"Is there a problem?" Isaac asked, peeking over the top of the comic. His voice had the little lit in it that came with him teasing the other.
"Of all the amazing comic books out there and you go with The Watchmen. The cocaine must have really effected your brain."
Even though Isaac could hear the teasing tone in Will's words, they still stung. Out of all the things the lad could have said, that one struck a raw nerve.
"What are you reading that's so good then?"
Will picked the book off the table and showed the cover to Isaac. He sighed, seeing the all too familiar cover of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish. The fourth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. Isaac's favourite series of books.
"You're still reading those books?" He asked, dropping his gaze down on to the table top. He took in all the things that were written on and carved into the wood.
"Why is that so surprising?" Will asked, putting a piece of paper in the book to mark his spot before he closed it.
"Because I told you about them." Isaac mumbled, tracing his finger over a anarchy symbol that some kid named Andrew had used in place of the A when carving his name into the table. Original.
"Don't be stupid." Will laughed. "Just because you like something doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing it."
Isaac opened his mouth to apologize or say something stupid. He hadn't quite decided yet and was a little grateful when Will started talking again.
"That would be like losing the last part of you that I have. And I don't want that. I've lost my Isaac enough as it is. At least this way, I've still got part of him." He sighed, running his fingers over the edge of the book.
"I'm right here, Will." Isaac argued quietly.
"You're not the same Isaac anymore."
"And you're not the same Will anymore. But you're still my Will Greyson, Will Greyson."
Will shook his head, sliding his finger into the book as if he were going to open it and start reading again.
"I'm running out of ways to say I'm sorry." Isaac sighed.
"And I'm running out of reasons why I shouldn't forgive you."
"Then stop trying to come up with reasons and just forgive me already. Goddamn it, Will. I am so fucking sorry for everything that I've done. I just want you back." Isaac said, angrily wiping away the tear that rolled down his cheek.
"Don't do that." Will mumbled.
"Don't do what?" Isaac snapped, more angry at himself than he was at Will.
"Don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."
"I'm not crying."
"Good, because the last time I kissed you, you were crying and I don't want you to be crying the next time I kiss you."
Isaac looked up to see Will leaning over the table. Will grabbed the front of Isaac's shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. A few heartbeats later, Will pulled away, pressed a kiss to Isaac's cheek and dropped back down into his chair.
"So?" Isaac asked, fidgeting nervously with the edge of his hoodie.
"So, you may not be the same Isaac that I met at that party. But you're still my Iccy and I don't want to be without you."
Isaac smiled.
"But if you hurt me again, I'm gonna chop your dick off and feed it to my dog."
Isaac laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
