Have Heart @isweartobreathe - Tumblr Blog

am i hot now?

#Pls say yes #I feel hot #And v pop punk #Hey hi hello #Me #Photo #Selfie #Love me #Pls #I need the ego boost #Lmao

splittingatbothends

What doesn’t kill you makes you passively suicidal 24/7

letsmakepoppunkgreatagain

Bring Me The Horizon - Doomed

ntontina-deactivated20170929

Sleeping With Sirens - Save Me A Spark

I'm having a really shitty day mentally and want nothing more than to tear my skin open and watch the blood drain from my body

#Fucking hate myself rn #Like just the way I look #And my lack of willpower to eat and drink healthily #And the fact I'm in so much physical pain and nothing I do seems to even help #Like why even bother anymore #Also doesn't help that my boyfriend can't seem to remember he has meat in the fridge that is now past its use by date #Like I already cook and clean for you #Why do I need to monitor what food YOU have in the fridge that's about to go off #I will genuinely stay up and cook it if he refuses to #I hate seeing food go to waste #Especially raw meat that is actually good for you once cooked #If only someone cared about me enough to keep me on the straight and narrow #But alas #I have managed to put myself up on such a high pedestal for my boyfriend that now literally NOTHING he says can make me feel better #Sigh #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Depressed #Depression #Suicidal #Suicidal ideation #God I wish I was dead

Still waiting for the day where I'm suddenly like "I really want a kid" and then have said kid

But as it is now, I still stare at tiny kids and go "how does anyone tolerate those creatures?"

And it's those thoughts that have me fearing I am what my mother was when she had me

And if I go through with having a child, what's stopping me from abandoning them too?

#Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Children #Kids #Parenting #Motherhood #Sigh

fuckyeahhbandgifs-blog

Of Mice & Men - Bones Exposed [x]

Our power suddenly went out and it highkey feels like my fault for leaving the oven on for a few hours (I had it on to cook for a bit then left it on as I knew I was going to need it again, I just waited a little longer than I intended to before coming back to it) and now I feel so fucking shitty and guilty for it that I want to relapse and throw myself down the stairs in the hope it will kill me

#It's amazing how quickly and easily I can fall back into depressive and suicidal thoughts #Lmao #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Guilt #Guilty #Depressed #Depression #Suicidal #Power outage

persianmom-deactivated20260602

people telling chatgpt their problems is insane to me like girl just get a tumblr….

alwaysfob

sugar, we’re goin down - fall out boy

So tired of continually falling into a random pit of depression out of fucking nowhere

#I swear the depression feels heavier each time #And it's so much harder to climb back up to normalcy #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Depressed #Depression #Suicidal #So over this #So over life #When does it get better #Does it even get better

The face of a girl who's just turned 30 but never thought she'd make it this far so is now just winging life and hoping for not death (but 18 year old her is still waiting for death to embrace her)

#Personal #Me #My face #Face #Just turned 30 #Ew #Birthday #Happy birthday to me #Or something

I am literally a week away from turning 30 and I suddenly feel like an absolute failure at life

It's not even anything in particular, but I am sensing an odd tone from my boyfriend so my mind is telling me he hates me and wants to break up with me, I've been invited to an AFL game next Sunday and I can't go with my boyfriend as he has his daughter that day and we both know she'd fucking hate it, so I asked my best friend but she won't be able to make it, I am now waiting on my final other friend to see if she's even going in the first place before I ask my boss for an extra invite so her fiance can come too, but if either she's not going or I can't get the extra invite then I literally have no one else I can ask to come, which goes to show how few friends I actually have.

I feel like I am on a constant knife's edge at work, especially on days my boss decides to come into the office because I fear he's just going to tear our work ethics to shreds again, plus I just generally feel like I do everything at work wrong.

Like am I genuinely failing at life or is this just my depression/BPD brain at work telling me I'm a failure and should be dead already?

#I fucking hate this #I hate feeling like this #I hate recognising when my brain is telling me dumb shit and still not being able to do anything about it #Probably should have just done the fucking therapy #But I am against therapy for some stupid reason #Sigh #Guess I will be forever fucked #And have cursed my future children to a life of hell #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Depressed #Depression #Bpd #Borderline personality disorder #Lord help me

He's literally been home ALL DAY, until he had to leave to go meet up with his friend for drinks (lord knows when that was) and I come home to:

An unwashed container lid

Some random suit-type pants left on the bed

His pyjamas on the bed

The bed not made

The bath floor mat still on the bathroom floor

His sleep pillow on my side of the bed

The toilet lid still up

Like, they're all little things but it builds up and I get to the last thing and go "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU RETARDED IMBECILE WHY CAN'T YOU PUT ANYTHING AWAY!?!" and have to swallow my frustration because he doesn't even SEE any of those things as nuisances

#Like honestly #Why are men like this #No wonder his daughter also lives in filth #She leaves her fucking lollipop and chocolate wrappers on the floor #No wonder she's got ants walking all over the fucking place #I've mentioned it to him before #But because he doesn't even SEE mess #He forgets by the time we have her again #If she were MY child she would not be getting away with this I swear #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings

Don't mind me I'm just answering questions directed at other people and pointing out my boss' dumb mistakes because he's a little retarded these days

#All while I have already clocked off for the day and have already stayed back tonight #Fuck me #Why is everyone around me so fucking dumb #And why is my boss so tech illiterate #It's painful #And I can't even vent about all this to my boyfriend tonight when I get home #Because he's out with a mate getting drunk and catching up #Not that he can't it's just that I've had a rough ass day and need a chest to lean in and cry onto #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings #Frustrated #Annoyed #Work

He has a daughter who is approaching her teenage years and therefore going through puberty, she hasn't learned to keep A N Y T H I N G clean somehow, so when there is a heap of hair left on the bathroom counter, somehow I'm to blame because she "doesn't do her hair in the bathroom" except I am ALWAYS trying to throw my loose strands in the bin. Sure I may miss one or two, but I don't leave a fucking CLUMP of hair on the counter.

#Actually cannot believe i am going through this #Like have you also seen that she leaves all her fucking pube hair on the floor after she attempts to shave?#I've cleaned that up #I haven't fucking said anything #But of course I won't #I don't need to embarrass a child to her father for something she apparently cares nothing about #And like what about the fact she's hardly ever hungry because she's actually snacking on chocolate in her room all fucking day #It grosses me out the amount of rubbish she leaves lying around #Like I'm lowkey ready to ban the stuff from the house if she can't just put her rubbish in the bin #And she left unopened chocolate on the floor (in a containter but that was also open) for the entire week she wasn't here #Like what the fuck are you doing #This girl needs a fucking reality check I swear #You can't just leave shit all over the place I swear to god #Personal #Thoughts #Feelings

I shouldn't have to ASK if we've received an electricity bill, you should just fucking tell me

#I'm not the one who keeps missing the bill a month late #If your credit score goes down it's your own fucking fault #Personal #Thoughts #Electricity bill #Money problems

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Have Heart