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@it-sans
IT IS
about me ; don't follow me if... ; system
- @queer-coining → Blog for coining terms
- @it-plural-coining → Blog for coining plural terms
- @sans-serious → Serious blog about vents, discourse and others.
- @sans-archive → Blog for terms/labels I liked
SANS
(wip pronouns.cc)
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ #𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒
please like && reblog && give credit!
You're still a system if you barely switch
You're still a system if you switch all the time
You're still a system if one alter (or more) is constantly front stuck
You're still a system if you don't have good insys communication
YOU ARE A SYSTEM
(you are a system)
I-I accidentally liked a pro-transid post because of double clicking ://
Here's to disordered plurals besides those with DID/OSDD-1!
Many people take "disordered" to be synonymous with OSDDID... except, there's many more forms of disordered plurality than that!
Shoutout to:
Systems who gained their plurality from the "well known" things such as autism, ADHD, BPD, or OCD
Systems that developed disordered plurality from less talked about disorders/neurodivergencies such as intellectual disabilities, depression, bipolar, personality disorders besides BPD, etc.
People who became plural by being traumatized later in life than the typical age cut-off for OSDDID
Those who identify with (or were diagnosed with!) terms like UDD, DDNOS, P-DID, or MPD
Adaptive and neurogenic plurality in general
And anyone else who is a disordered system!
You don't have to have OSDDID to be disordered, and you certainly don't owe anyone an explanation about your specific experiences unless you want to tell them. You're just as valid as any other plural is! No one can take that away from you.
Stay unique, everyone!
🖤💜💙💚💛
the reason intersex people need to be visible and at the forefront of every queer's activism is because we are completely devoid of autonomy when it comes to identifying ourselves. no matter how hard we try to speak up on how we are treated, how we are dehumanized, how we are refused our right to say who we are, it falls through the cracks because of how many people continue to diminish our issues, and espouse intersexist beliefs.
when i speak up about being transfemme, and a trans girl, it's not because i'm trying to step on people's toes or speak about something i don't understand. i speak up about it because this is the life i've lived. it doesn't matter if strangers see me this way or not, this is how i've been my entire life. whether or not someone knows i was technically born AMAB and then had my gender "corrected" shouldn't matter.
trans people do not only come in binary sexes- just like gender, physical sex is also not a binary. i am an intersex trans girl , even if my agab didn't stay AMAB forever. I would be an intersex trans girl regardless of whether or not they assigned me male at birth, because my experience with womanhood and femininity is that they've always been held away from me, way farther than it would ever be possible for me to reach.
i've had to take estrogen & progesterone HRT in the past in order to "correct" my masculine features in order to look like and be a girl "correctly". the subject of my body and my gender has never been something i've been able to control. my whole live i've just been told that i'm a girl wrong, and that i need to "Fix" it.
boyhood or manhood weren't options either, that was held away from me with a 10 foot pole as well. i've had to transition into gender, itself, because i was forbidden to be a boy or a girl. i was always too sensitive or soft to be a real boy. gender as a concept has been a source of control and degredation for me. i had to transition into both manhood and womanhood in order to have control over how i identify. even now when i talk about manhood and being a man, people tell me that i'm not a trans man because of how i look. i'm routinely denied manhood, I "have" to be a trans woman only to some.
due to my intersex condition, i'm a trans man and a trans woman, transfemme and transmasc, but people struggle to accept this. there's no reason for people to give me hell about these parts of myself, and yet people still do. intersex awareness matters because we fight to be seen as the people we are. we struggle to have our identities be addressed correctly. we are in the same fight as trans individuals, and we owe it to intersex trans men, women, and people to help people understand that trans folks come in all different types of bodies, and that biological sex is not a binary, either.
we have to fight for each other's autonomy. for all of us. together we are stronger, louder, and braver.
HC-DID system is being both tired of and disgusted that our existence is treated more like a discourse topic by non-HC systems, instead a group of survivors just trying to find community with those who may better understand what we went though and how that's shaped our lives. People, especially other people with CDDs, turning around and arguing if we should use the terminology we created, and if we should even mention our experiences, is disgusting and it makes me so angry that some people only view us as a discourse topic instead of actual people.
(honestly you can apply this to any "syscourse" and it still applies. all of it sucks)
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people are genuinely so annoying about HC-DID.
"it's dangerous to share that information online!!" there's a certain level of danger that comes with sharing any information about yourself online. HC-DID systems are aware of this and they don't need to be treated like babies who can't possibly know the risk of being public about their trauma.
"it's not a real clinical term!!" no one ever claimed it was. it has always been a community term and literally no one claimed otherwise.
"it's trauma olympics!!" if i have to hear one more person say RAMCOA survivors are doing trauma olympics i'm going to scream. take your fucking insecurity somewhere.
"the coiner is problematic!!" i dont care. like i seriously could not possibly care less. the term isnt exclusively theirs.
when will people realize. when will people fucking realize that there's more to fucking RAMCOA than the satanic panic bullshit.
cults count as RAMCOA.
trafficking humans of any kind is RAMCOA.
gangs and cartels can absolutely inflict RAMCOA.
there is so much more to RAMCOA then the youtube video essays about the satanic panic. RAMCOA is a spectrum of experiences. it's not some mythical shit you only see in gratuitous horror movies. it's real and it happens every fucking day.
Posting this on main
Non-RAMCOA systems need to learn that systems who went through RAMCOA will often need to do things that are seen as wrong and unfair in the traditional system sense. In this post specifically, persecutor/programmed alters.
I was in a cult throughout my childhood. I went through RAMCOA. And now, I have several abuse sympathizer alters who will do anything to return to their cult, their "family" or "home". If they ever made it to front, if a gatekeeper or protector EVER relaxed their rules, we would be in awful fucking misery. Not to mention some of those alters are manipulative as hell and will do whatever it takes to convince OTHERS to join that stupid cult.
They also love being abused. They were created to LOVE BEING ABUSED because that is what they faced every single fucking day. So you know what happens when there aren't anymore abusers? They find more, because in their eyes, they MUST be dictated and used by people.
If any of these alters weren't locked away, we'd be back in a cult and back to being severely abused. We barely survived the first time and I don't think we would survive it again. They need professional, specialist help, not just space.
And I think that's something non-RAMCOA systems need to realize. It's not trying to push programmed/persecutor alters aside or treat them as less, we just can't let them destroy the years of progress we've been trying to make for years and cause us to be put back into a cult.
RAMCOA systems and non-RAMCOA systems need to realize that the way they work will be different, and that is okay. My advice won't make sense to a lot of non-RAMCOA systems and a ton of non-RAMCOA system's advice would be hurtful for me.
Now, PLEASE keep spreading healthy advice! This post wasn't supposed to be a "If you aren't a RAMCOA system, NEVER TALK ABOUT SYSTEM THINGS AGAIN >:(" post, it was more so to remind non-RAMCOA systems that the way we work may be considered wrong or immoral, but it's what we have to do until we can find specialists in RAMCOA.
Your system and how it works is valid, so keep sharing everything you have been and don't let anyone tell you not to, okay? You just gotta remember that those who lived through RAMCOA are going to work a lot differently, and that's okay too.
Hatsune Miku from the World is Mine music video is a bi straight genderhimedere princessgender npdgender cistrans girl who uses she/her pronouns!
Her boyfriend is a bisexual straight arospec transsexual man who uses he/him pronouns!
dni link
i've never understood the argument "I just can't use they/them for a singular person, it's grammatically incorrect." first of all that's not even factually correct, it's grammatically correct. second of all, why do you care more about grammar than the mental health and well-being of other people? grammar is fake, we made it up. other people and their feelings are real. reconsider your priorities
DID, OSDD, and amnesia can present so many ways. it's different for everyone.
amnesia may present for one as forgetting things that happened in childhood, while having great memory for recent events. it may also be remembering everything that happened in childhood while having terrible memory for recent events.
amnesia doesn't have to be complete loss of memory, either. a lot of people do have that kind of amnesia, but sometimes amnesia is being able to recall a memory but it being so blurry and indistinguishable it's pretty much like it actually is gone, or something like remembering pieces of what you just did while you can't actually find the visual memory in your head, as if someone just told you what you did but left out major parts of the story.
it might also present as emotional amnesia, where you are unable to recall the feelings you felt at the time of the event, while you otherwise can remember what happened.
you don't even have to forget that you've forgotten. while a lot of these are more common in DID and OSDD, none of them are necessary other than the fact you have amnesia of some kind, and in some people with OSDD, none at all.
you don't have to have every single type of amnesia, you can have multiple or all types of amnesia, you can also have only one. any amnesia counts.
shout out to systems with:
alters that use it/its !
alters that use neopronouns !
alters with multiple pronouns !
alters that don't use pronouns !
alters that don't know their pronouns !
alters that don't care about their pronouns !
genderfluid alters !
transgender alters !
non-binary alters !
xenogender alters !
questioning alters !
alters with 'contradicting' gender identities !
non-cis child alters !
other genderqueer alters i didn't mention !
being queer does not make you fake. an alter can be any gender, and use any pronouns. keep expressing yourself in ways that make you happy :D
Traumagenic x Endogenic Handshake
polyfrag culture is not always being able to be nice to every single alter. some alters exist to retraumatise others, some exist to harm the body and others, some exist purely to be malicious. we can't cater to them unless we all want to end up harmed.
please stop with the narrative that you shouldn't imprison your persecutors. yes, you should aim to understand the motives of every alter and help them wherein possible, but some alters are beyond that. by not sectioning them off, you risk harming others in the process, both internally and externally.
do whats best for your system, and don't feel guilty for it. some alters cant be changed even with love and support, some require stricter rules or even imprisonment. there is no one size fits all when it comes to system functionality.
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This is actually a horrifying gut wrenching take and I feel so distressed for the alters being referenced by anon. This is just. Blatantly untrue. I'm writing this as someone who has alters who exist to retraumatize us, who exist to harm the body, and who exist to be "malicious." I'm writing this as someone who has parts who were programmed to sabotage our recovery, to negatively interfere with our therapy, to punish us for breaking the abuser's rules, and more. And you know what? Every single one of those parts still can be healed through love and support. Every. Single. One. And actually, that's the only way for them to access healing. There's no other solution than love, compassion, support, patience, and understanding. No one is beyond help. No one "requires" imprisonment. Of COURSE there's no one size fits all, but responding to trauma with more trauma and more harm is never, ever, EVER the answer.
Like seriously, this is breaking my heart. It's very common for RAMCOA survivors to have alters who were intentionally created to serve the purposes of the abusers, and to harm the other members of the system. Those parts often seem very scary, extremely mean, very abusive, and impossible to work with. And you know what? They're traumatized children. They're. TRAUMATIZED. Children. Can you imagine saying to a child who's been through the absolute worst things imaginable that they're beyond the reach of love and support and that they deserve to be imprisoned? Children who were tortured and coerced to do things that no child would ever willingly choose to do? Children who took up those horrible, horrible, horrible roles IN ORDER TO SAVE THE LIFE OF THE REST OF THE SYSTEM?
HOW do you think these parts were created in the first place? The worst persecutors and abuser-imitating parts in survivors of extreme and organized abuse are typically the parts who endured the WORST traumas. The parts who stepped up and said "okay, I'll be the bad guy" because they knew they'd die if they didn't agree, and they knew no one else was saying yes. They're put in mind altering double binds where it's impossible for them to win, and they're tricked and lied to and told that now their entire identity is Evil and that they belong to Evil and to the abusers forever. And you want to respond to these parts--the true, real saviors of the system--by reinforcing the beliefs that were programmed into them by abusers? That they're irredeemable, that they're beyond saving, that they deserve punishment and scorn and hatred? That's what they've always been told. And you're pushing them deeper into those beliefs. This is horrendous. This is gut wrenching. This is the opposite direction of healing.
I'm not saying it's easy to work with these parts. I'm not saying there aren't times for cutting off their access to other areas of the system or other alters in order to keep everyone as safe as possible. I'm not saying it's easy to look at and accept the truth of these alters and what they've endured and how they came to be in the first place. But I'm begging, BEGGGING, you to understand that no one chooses to be this way. No one wants to be bad. Many of these parts had no say in the roles they ended up with, beyond knowing that if they resisted, they would be killed or tortured or worse (and yes, there's worse). ALL alters can choose to change. Even these ones. They just need time and unconditional positive regard and support. No one is beyond love's reach.
Please for the love of everything, remember that most of them are children, split in childhood in order to save the rest of you from things that the rest of you could not or would not endure. Even the ones who split later in life are performing a function that they often feel they have no other choice but to perform. We don't change people by ostracizing, demonizing, and punishing them. Remember who the real enemy is. REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS. It's not them. They're a part of you too. You're a part of them too. Even when they're continuing to serve the purposes of the abusers (and I know many of them are doing that! I experience that too!), remember that they're doing that because of being abused, tortured, manipulated, brainwashed, and coerced into compliance. Do they really deserve more harshness? They're trying to save you too, at the end of the day. I'm not saying there are no boundaries and you can't negotiate or set limits or communicate with them about the effects of their actions. And I'm not saying it's easy to cope with the horrendous things they do. But telling someone they're incapable of change and redemption is a guaranteed way to make sure they continue to enact harm.
Ellen Lacter wrote a wonderful article on working with abuser-imitating parts, which has been incredibly helpful in my own work. It has the potential to be extremely triggering, especially for RAMCOA survivors, so I encourage a good deal of caution with reading it. But if you've been stuck in this mindset of thinking that some parts are beyond redemption and are just pure evil, then consider reading it, perhaps alongside a safe support person. Or at least read this quote here to understand that I'm not making it up when I say that compassion has to be the first approach with all of these parts: "A position of compassion is the essential foundation and over-riding approach to helping 'abuser personalities' to begin to discover the truth of their own histories as self-states, to understand that they were also victims of their abusers, to be able to re-consider who they perceive themselves to be, and to be able to make their own choices about who they wish to be." Every single one of them has the ability to make their own choices about who they wish to be. They must first be given that chance.
Internal incarceration, punishment, us vs. them dichotomies, repeating cycles of harm in response to harm, and lack of positive regard will not save us. Remember who the real enemy is. They want to turn us against each other. That serves the abusers too. Compassion holds the cure.
