Private joker Rave Girl

Matchups? Closed Requests? Closed Any pronouns

[itmakesastatement]

Introduction: Hi! I’m C, and I write for various different war movies. I write matchups and headcanons/preferences mostly, maybe a few one-shots here and there, but probably not. I won’t write NSFW content as I am a minor. Feel free to request as long as everything is open! You can also request new movies for me to watch and write about that aren’t on the list.

Movies I’ll write for:

•Inglorious Basterds

•Platoon

•Full Metal Jacket

•The dirty dozen

•Apocalypse Now

•Top Gun

•Rambo (any of his movies)

[willowcrowned]

reader LIKED the fic? reader left thoughtful comment because they thought there was something worth analyzing? oh! oh! love for reader! love for reader for one thousand years!

[recaption]

[itmakesastatement]

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO may I please request h/ c’s for Donny donowitz with an s/o who rollerskates ? :) please and Thank you!! 💗💗💗💕

Donny Donowitz with an s/o who roller skates~

A/N: ehfhshshs love big baseball man, lemme know if you want me to redo it or anything!

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At first he’s a little cautious

Definitely demands you wear all the proper padding, Hes lowkey a mother hen

But seeing you just glide around him and tease him as you go around him in circles just like,,, makes him fall even harder for you

He would be very wary of trying it himself but it would be hilarious and amazing

Just like,,, a big hunk of muscle awkwardly kicking and flailing around on roller skates

He will literally cling to you while you teach him to skate

He’s terrified of falling for some reason

If you ever get worried abt someone harassing you while you skate, don’t, just bring Donny

He’s a pretty good creep deterrent

Also once he gets into the swing of it?? He loves doing it with you

Did someone say roller rink dates with bad food and cheesy roller skate dancing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also pls show the basterds pics of you teaching Donny to roller skate

It gives them a new found will to live

[itmakesastatement]

Road trip with Elias’ squad~

A/N: I have absolutely no reason to do this other than boredom, sorry for any typos, also no warnings then slightly ooc behavior

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Ok this is gonna be v e r y chaotic

Lerner is screaming the lyrics to some song playing on the radio

Chris is either reading, calling his grandma, or crying

Rhah is drinking something, which you don’t know what it is, might be beer, might be Gatorade, might be bong water, who knows really

King is enjoying getting to screw with Gator and Chris, he’s basically like an older brother to them

You’re in the front seat with Elias, who looks fond of the chaos but 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘵

Chris emerges from his corner of angst to offer you some food

Someone probably gets caught watching some adult content-

I would def recommend crawling into the back seat for cuddles, probably very cozy

Lerner at one point or another will definitely bust out his guitar, and most likely someone will put their foot through it on accident

He’s depressed for the rest of the ride

Also Chris stirs up some sort of old drama

Bc he thrives on the chaos

Tbh rhah probably falls asleep and SNORES for a good few hours

Lerner, Chris, and you probably get the “I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND” speech if you get too rowdy

When you finally reach the destination Elias, King and Rhah are exhausted but you, Chris and Lerner on the other hand are absolutely bouncing off the damn walls

Rhah threatens to duct tape you to the ground

Tbh I feel like this would be a very fun experience, would probs recommend

[itmakesastatement]

hey if you’re still writing and what not. could you please write a dating private cowboy headcanon and possibly a private joker headcanon too?

no pressure or any rush, just asking

-G❤️

Dating Private Cowboy~

A/N: fhdhehdhdh I love him so much, sorry for any typos b, also if you feel it needs a redo lemme know

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First of all he’s such a gentleman

He always pulls his chair out for you, holds doors, walks you to your door from his car and all that good jazz

Cowboy is probably a little introverted after the war, so dates are probably mostly at home or something outdoors with just the two of you

Cowboy is actually surprisingly clingy, he would always hold your hand in public or have an arm around you

Also!! This mans preferred method of cuddling is laying on top of you, I will take no criticism

While he is a lot calmer than he was before the war, he still has his moments where he can be very playful

During times like that he loves teasing you, ruffling your hair, randomly picking you up or maybe even throwing you on the bed

Because of his trauma from ya know, watching his friends die, he does switch from having good days and bad days

Though now that he’s started dating you, he’s started having a lot more good days :)))

Also he’s totally taken you to a rodeo before, and while he isn’t very social, he loved showing you off

On his bad days you can typically tell because he’ll have nightmares the night before

How long this periods can last depends really, sometimes it won’t even be the full day, other times it will last for weeks

During these he’ll be very sluggish, melancholic, You’ll probably have to remind him to eat and drink water

Honestly just like, make this man a homemade meal or force him to dress up and go dancing with you, he’ll be grumpy about having to do anything at first but it will eventually cheer him up

Jumping on his back and forcing him to carry you 🤌🤌🤌

Also you can’t convince me he DOESN’T buy a ranch and fill it with horses

If you can’t already ride, he’ll def teach you

He definitely plans on marrying you if you’re up for it

And if it’s modern au he’s one of people who have Pinterest boards dedicated to his dream wedding-

[itmakesastatement]

You saw this coming… may I please request major reisman dating h/c’s :) thank you so much! Ily 💗💗

Dating Major Reisman~

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A/N: HRHEHSYSHSH going feral rn haven’t had a request in days, sorry for any typos btw andhshs

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Ok this man is SMOOTH

will kiss your knuckles and wink at you

Not super big into pda, especially in front of his men

But lowkey loves it you wrap your arm with his

Dates with him are very diverse

Sometimes he’ll take you to do things like camping, shooting, fishing etc

Or he’ll take you to fancy dinners, art galleries and maybe even fancy and romantic picnics on special occasions

His pet names probably include darling, honey, dear, and love

He’s a pretty traditional man

Will be absolutely smitten if you cook for him

If he’s drunk he’ll pull you into his lap, convince me otherwise

Surprisingly not a morning person

Very grouchy and clingy in the mornings

Will perk up if you make him coffee tho 👀

Also if you were to massage any of his tense muscles, he’s marrying you right then and there

There’s a good chance you’ll never meet any of the dirty dozen, especially considering the nature of some of their crimes

If we’re talking modern au, you can’t explain memes to him, he’ll explode, he doesn’t understand

Also you can catch him smiling and staring at you a lot when you’re home, he just feels so lucky to have you

If you send him letters during the war, he has such a hard time not absolutely beaming

The dirty dozen is SO confused, like, what’s happening to their commander??? Has he finally gone senile??

Tho if y’all get married, which he probably will want, he might invite a few of the old dirty dozen members, who get absolutely plastered on champagne

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[itmakesastatement]

I have Covid rn and my school is shut down so now is a better time than ever to send in request lmao

[itmakesastatement]

Hi!! Saw your matchups were open and couldn’t pass this up❤️! Could I get a Full Metal Jacket Matchup? My pronouns are they/them, Im omnisexual (preference for men), an INTP-T, Aquarius, And ravenclaw! I enjoy the academia aesthetic, and Im attracted to the jealous type lol. Im a sucker for the “I hate everyone but you” trope, and appreciate someone who lets me have my space at times. My love language is quality time. Appearance wise; I am 5’3 with long brown hair, blue eyes, and often switch between wearing cottage core and light academia clothes to dark academia and fairy grunge! Tysm for reading :)

I match you with…

Animal mother!!!

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Ok first things first, when he first meets you there are 𝘴𝘰 many short jokes

He’ll never say it to you, but he appreciates how intelligent you are

And he will definitely brag about it to others

Also he’s a sucker for your outfits, he just thinks you’re so pretty, but once again, he probably won’t say it

He is also VERY jealous, always has an arm around you and will practically growl at anyone who even looks like you

Also try explaining MBTI types and Harry Potter houses to him, I dare you

Also he’s amazing at just sensing when you need space and when you want him around, deep down he really just wants you to be comfortable

Also, just,,,, animal mother getting drunk and being clingy while he rants about how he only loves you and everyone else around him sucks,,, that is all

Also he calls you “fairy”, and you can pry that from my cold dead hands

Also since I 100% headcanon he has a motorcycle, if you ever wanna spend time with him, just ask to go on a late night ride on it

Also if a single person ever disrespects your pronouns, they should be terrified

If you don’t wanna see them pummeled, your gonna have to hold animal mother back

Also he plays with your hair all the time, might even try and learn to braid it who knows 👀

Also if you ever need an accessories for some grunge looks,,, he has a lot of oversized jackets,,,,,

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A/N: woop woop! Second matchup of the night, sorry for any typos lol. And if you want it redone lemme know and I happily will!!!

[itmakesastatement]

Hi! I was wondering if I could have a matchup for the dirty dozen :) I’m 5’4 with dirty blonde/ brown hair that’s always done in a vintage style. I also wear a lot of vintage inspired clothes and jewelry! Also, for reference i am chubby :) I like to paint, draw, knit, play piano, do theater, roller skate, and lots of other art stuff! I love making jewelry for people, especially those i love! My friends usually describe me as the funny one, The artist, or the mom friend!! Thank you! <3

I think your match is…

Samson Posey!!!

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First of all, he thinks you’re the most glamorous, beautiful woman he’s ever seen

He very much appreciates the vintage style as well, it makes him comfortable around you

If you knit, paint, or draw him a single thing, he’ll be immediately smitten

Physically can’t get over how talented you are

Also teach this man to roller skate, not because he’ll be good at it, but because it be amazing to watch this 6 foot tall beef cake roll around like a new born baby dear

Also if you make him any wearable art or jewelry, he’ll wear it everyday

Also this man worships the ground you walk on, and god help anyone who makes a bad comment about you

He’s gonna go to literally every theatrical performance you have, though good luck ever getting this man to dress up

He’d be a little awkward around your friends, but would eventually warm up to them

Also: he loves your thighs, no questions asked

Also never say he can’t lift you, because then he’ll start making a show of it

If the rest of the dirty dozen ever meets you, they’re gonna tease you and posey a lot

Mostly because you’re all he ever talks about

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A/N: yaaay first match up!! Sorry for any typos and if you don’t exactly agree with the person I matched you with, feel free to send another one in! No shame lol

[itmakesastatement]

Full Metal Jacket preferences ~ Their s/o asks if they would love them as a worm

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Animal Mother:

• I’m sorry w h a t

•he looks at you like you’re insane

•he scoffs and looks away without answering

•if you really insist on him answering he just says he would use you as fishing bait, if you get upset he would laugh at your pain

•though maybe, if you get him really drunk, he’ll respond with something uncharacteristically sweet, like he’d make you a little garden or smthn

•though if you ever tell anyone he might actually murder you

Eightball:

• babe,,, honey,,, what did you take and can he have some?

•Alice honestly just thinks you’re drunk

•though if you really want an answer, it will depend on his mood

•he’ll either say he’ll throw you to some crows, or he’ll say something sweet like he’d keep you in his breast pocket

•though he would immediately tell the surviving members of the lust hog squad like

• “look at my baby! They’re weird as fuck and kinda scare me sometimes but they’re hot so!”

Joker:

•sorry babe, but he busts out laughing

•he thinks this question is absolutely hilarious

•he has so many questions

•”ok but why would you turn into a worm? Also how would we cuddle? More importantly how would we have se-“

•by the end you’re just begging him to stop

•unfortunately you’ve fallen into a rabbit hole

•he asks you and all his friends this question now

Cowboy:

• Cowboy is honestly just amused

•he just sighs, wraps his arms around you, and tells you of course he’d love you

•cowboy is an absolute simp in every other scenario, why wouldn’t he be in this one?

•he’s a little concerned though

•why are you asking this?

•are you having some sort of crisis?

Crazy Earl:

•𝘠𝘦𝘴.

•absolutely no questions asked

•will ask you if you’d love him as various different little creatures

•like a black widow

•though he might say he’ll turn into a spider and eat you so you’ll always be together

•he has that serial killer logic

•you knew what you were signing up for bb

Rafterman:

•uhhhhh

•yes

•if you yell at him to answer without hesitation he gets so nervous

•poor nervous baby just wants you to be happy

•tells you he would give you a little worm photo shoot

•and he would keep you on his pencil as he writes articles

•10/10 adorable nervous baby

Private Pyle:

•!!!!

•yes!!!!

•he would make you a little terrarium so you could live with him

•and he would give you little flowers

•and give you little worm friends

•after his sweet answer, you better say you’d love him as a worm

•honestly the best person to take care of you as a worm

Hartman:

•he’s gonna drug test you

•he wants to know what the hell you’re smoking

•though if you insist you are sober, and that you want a serious answer, don’t expect sweetness

•he’ll say he’ll use you as all sorts of things

•fishing bait, target practice, food, all those grumpy old man things

•grumpy man will laugh at your pain

•but if you really get upset, he’ll say he’ll keep you in his garden

[itmakesastatement]

Dating Elias Grodin~

A/N: this wasn’t requested lol, I just like writing for him. Also sorry if this is terrible, this is my first post on this blog

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Ok first of all he’s the most down to earth BF ever

And an amazing listener too

He first realized he was in love with you when he realized how lonely he got without you and he knew he had to do something about it

So the next day, he gets your favorite food, some flowers, and some nice wine and tells you to meet him at the park

You walk up to see the picnic he set up for the two of you

Towards the end of the picnic, he asks if you’d be willing to date him

And of course you say yes because who wouldn’t

During y’all’s relationship, he’s so sweet and considerate

Always tries to wake up before you to try and make you something to eat

But he also loves sleeping in with you

Lazy days are his absolute favorite, just you laying on him while you both lay on a hammock

His dates mostly consist of hikes, swimming, little stay at home dates and stuff like that

Elias isn’t the biggest fan of crowds

You’re also definitely gonna be introduced to the surviving members of his squad, and they hype your relationship up like nothing else

Pray you never run into any of Barnes’ squad or Elias might just lose it

Surprisingly enough, he can be a bit of a hothead and you’ve had to hold him back a few times

There’s also no way he got out of the war with no lasting trauma, so sometimes he really just needs you to hold him and help him calm down

Also,,, cuddling while high,,,, that is all

If you have any little siblings, kids, little cousins or nephews or nieces, he is absolutely amazing with them, any and all babies love him

He also isn’t the biggest on pet names but their are a few here and there, like babe, hun, and sweetheart

Also completely random but i feel like he loves taking baths with you, he’s lowkey a clean freak after the war and loves relaxing with you

Man also m o a n s over your cooking, he spent months eating MREs so it always feels so special to him

Also he completely plans on marrying you, you make him feel stable and loved, he couldn’t ask for more

He wants kids but if you don’t, he completely understands, though he does always have a small part of him that wants little copies of you and him running around

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[metamorphesque]