White Rabbit

Chloe Knight; Twenty-Four. Actress. Addicted. “That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”

[nikolettestar]

How can I not be defensive when it comes to you? You know I hate it when you call me by that name.

[itschloeknight]

[nikolettestar]

Stop acting like your shit don’t stink. You have more problems than anyone I know. 

[itschloeknight]

I never said I didn't but this just goes to show how defensive you get. Have a great fucking life, Nikolette.

[nikolettestar]

After everything that’s happened, Like I would want to spend anytime with you. If you want to spend time with Shay, Arrange things with my mom and we’ll work out a deal that way. 

[itschloeknight]

Have you always been this big of a bitch or are you just extra nasty because I didn't choose you?

[nikolettestar]

Don’t you dare say anything about Shay. Whether you like it or no, my opinion will be given. You know she has already started to ask about your whereabouts.

[itschloeknight]

No, your opinion doesn't need to be given. I'd be more than happy to spend time with her at any point. Just her.

[nikolettestar]

I still think you would be a great mother, I just think you’re too young. But that’s just my opinion.

[itschloeknight]

Says the girl who has a kid of her own. I don't think your opinion needs to be given here.

[nikolettestar]

I don’t think you should have a kid, But when have you ever listened to me?

[itschloeknight]

That's funny because just a few months ago you were telling me I would be a great mother. 

[itschloeknight]

nikolettestar replied to your photo:↳ INSTAGRAM: @CHLOEKNIGHT UPLOADED A NEW PHOTO: ...

Whose baby is that? You didn’t steal them from the hospital, did you?

A friend's son.

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: felt her eyes start to well up with tears but she didn't want to cry, In fact, that was the last thing she wanted. "Stop telling me that I don't mean what i'm saying. If I didn't mean I obviously wouldn't be saying it." She used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes quickly "I wasn't ready to say these things a couple of months ago, People need time to figure out who they are and what they want. Why couldn't you give me that time? That's all I needed and then we would be together." She hated being rejected as much as the next person but it seemed to hurt even more coming from Chloe even if she did deserve it. "I love you, doesn't that mean anything?"

Chloe: felt her heart breaking as she watched Nikki wipe at her eyes. Fuck. Things were never supposed to be this complicated. She had come to grips with the fact that Nikki would never want her in that way and now here she was confessing her love for Chloe. But Chloe didn't want that anymore, not when she'd already been hurt. And Crystal was amazing to her. "So, what, I was supposed to put my life on hold while you decided if you were straight or not? You saw me with Crystal, you knew that I was falling in love with her. You were one of the first to know that we were getting married. You had more than enough time to tell me all of this, it didn't have to come the night before my wedding. I-" Chloe groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know what you want me to say, Nikki. I'm not calling off my wedding. I love Crystal - I'm /in/ love with Crystal - and I know for a fact that she undeniably loves me. I just... I can't throw that away. Not for something that's uncertain." She looked back at her phone and tried not to completely fall to pieces. "I'm sorry."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: looked away as she saw the phone drop, It wasn't her intention to hurt Chloe right now but she needed to tell her how she was feeling. That was the only way she could go through tomorrow without drinking herself to death. "I'll still be your maid of honor tomorrow no matter what happens here tonight. If you say that this can't happen, I'll drink myself asleep and tomorrow we can both forget this ever happened and you can get married to Crystal and i'll be with Will." She stopped to collect her thoughts but it only took a moment for her to get back on track "Chloe, I think I love you. You're the person I thought about the most when I was away on tour. Seeing pictures of my daughter with you and Crystal broke my heart and I just wanted to be the one with you then."

Chloe: shook her head, tears rushing forward. "If that's what it was then maybe you just didn't like seeing Crystal with Shai and I- I totally understand that. She would understand, too, but telling me that you think you want to be with me-" She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. "I wanted to hear those words months ago. I wanted you to want me the way that I have always wanted you and you didn't. So I moved on. Nik... I'm sorry. I'm in love with Crystal and I just- I don't think you mean this. I think you're drunk. Between that and the wedding.. I don't think you mean this."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: picked up her drink, swirling it around in the glass and wasting some time before taking a big sip of it. It was all to waste some time as she thought about an answer to her question."What if I was just ashamed of being seen as a lesbian. I'm self conscious, I do care about what people think of me. Hell that was the basis of me not telling people I had a kid" She didn't know why she was letting this all out. Maybe it was the booze talking or maybe it was the fact that she just wanted to be honest but she couldn't stop herself "Moral of the story is I don't want to share you anymore. I want you all for myself. I like Crystal, She's an amazing person but she's not right for you." Her eyes widen as she realized what she had said and she honestly didn't know what to expect from Chloe

Chloe: didn't know what to say. She'd been waiting so long to hear Nikki say that she wanted her but now that it was happening, it wasn't what she wanted. No - maybe it was, but it wasn't what she needed. "Nikki..." Chloe shook her head and dropped her phone for a moment allowing Nikki to see just her ceiling. Fuck, she needed a drink. She rubbed at her eyes before picking her phone back up. "You can't do this. Not tonight. I just - I'm getting married tomorrow. You're supposed to be my maid of honor. These things you're thinking, you're just drunk. Something I /wish/ I could be right now. You don't mean this. Tell me you don't mean this."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: let out a smile as they talked about Will, He really was a great guy who she had gotten really close with during her time away. "I'll be honest, I've thought about it too. I want to get married" She gulped as she thought about the question she was going to ask "What if I screwed up? What if the thing that I always denied is actually true? I've been having weird feelings lately and I don't know how to handle them to be honest. This is the worst time to tell you but I just had to get it out"

Chloe: tried not to overanalyze what she was seeing but she figured Nikki would be happier to hear her speaking so highly of Will. She knew how nervous she was that Nikki would hate Crystal and she was ecstatic when that didn't happen. But here was Nikki acting as though she couldn't care less what people thought of her relationship with Will. When Nikki started rambling, Chloe got confused. "What are you talking about?" she shook her head.

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: rolled her eyes at the comments, "Go ahead, Say what you want" she hated people saying 'I told you so' even though she knew it was likely unavoidable here. "Please, We haven't even talked about anything like that yet. Thinking about it, We haven't talked at all today." She was so busy thinking about the wedding and everything encompassing it that it never passed her mind. "Can I ask you something and you promise not to jump down my throat?"

Chloe: smirked. "Just because you haven't talked about it, that doesn't mean he hasn't thought about it." She could tell by the way Will looked at Nikki that he would drop everything in his life to be with her if she asked him to and it made Chloe happy to see someone so in love with her best friend. Nikki deserved that. "Yeah, of course. Shoot."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: didn't notice her friend look away from the screen as she was pouring herself another drink. She was probably going overboard on it to night but she had things on her mind. Nikki took a deep breath as she thought about what she wanted to tell Chloe. "Most of my time thinking has revolved around you. Like I said before i'm jealous that you are getting married."

Chloe: "I thought you were completely content with not getting married this young?" The smile on her face was smug. She knew that Nikki would get wedding fever. If the roles were reversed, she knew she would be. It was just something that happened. "If you want to get married that badly, I'm sure I can mention it to Will and he'd jump at the chance. That man is head over heels in love with you."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: let out a small smile "I wish I could be there drinking with you because it's a little lonely drinking alone. not even going to lie about that. Makes you think about things." She finished off her glass of wine before putting a hand through her hair.

Chloe: dropped her gaze for a moment. It always got awkward when her friends talked about drinking with her. Even though she was in the best place she'd ever been in, it was still rough resisting alcohol some days. "What are you thinking about?"

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: moved her bottle of wine into view of the camera and picked up her glass to show her friend what she was doing. "I'm relaxing and having a few drinks right now, if you couldn't tell. I think I've already finished about half of the bottle already." The fact that she was showing a recovering alcoholic all this was probably due to the lack of judgement happening in her head right now.

Chloe: laughed, shaking her head. "I wish I could do that. That'd be the best way to ease my nerves. Instead," she raised her own glass of water in front of her camera. "I get to drink the less impressive clear liquid."

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki: wasn't exactly sure why but she got extremely nervous as soon as she heard Chloe speak.. Putting on a smile, she greeted her friend"Hey Chlo. How's the night going so far?" She was hoping that she wasn't ruining anything that she might be doing at the moment.

Chloe: shrugged. "It's going okay. I feel like I should be doing something more glamorous than sitting on my bed in a robe. I don't know." She laughed softly. "What about you? Relaxing well?"

[itschloeknight]

Face-time @ Nikhloe

Nikki wasn't sure what was going on but thought it would be better if they talked face to face so to speak. She turned on face time on her computer and waited for her to answer. That last reply confused her and the drinking that Nikki was doing wasn't helping any either.

Chloe: grabbed her phone when Nikki's ringtone blasted through her room. It was supposed to be a night alone to gather her thoughts and keep from being too nervous tomorrow. Instead, she found herself confused at why her best friend was suddenly accusing her of staring at her naked body - something she probably had done, just not consciously. Clicking answer, Chloe leaned back against the headboard. "Hey, you."