hyi vittu, paskea

Minä olen maissi. Tervetuloa minujen malliin | she/her

[laulujaparatiisista]

Mua ärsyttää ns. turha finglish ihan suunnattomasti. Tarkotan niinku niis tapauksis ku suomenkielestä vittu löytyy ihan yleisesti käytetty vastine eikä oo siis mitää syytä käyttää englantia. Näin yhen Tiktok-videon, jossa joku puhu mansikoiden "slaissaamisesta" ja olin sillee

[sienestys]

Tästä on jo jonkin aikaa, mut on jäänyt mieleen. Yhes välis pyörin yhdessä äijäporukassa, missä oltiin muuten aika perus pervoja, mut sit aina piti sanoa 'dikki' kun oli joku seksijuttu, ja muutenki englanniksi asiat, jotka kait oli sit liian hävettävii sanoo suomeks. Mut joka kerta kun kuulin sen dikki-sanan, niin olin vaan mielessäni et

[banans13]

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

[banans13]

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

[autisticwolfesbrainisautistic]

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.

[captainesc]

[djbodyhorror]

they call me the cello the way they're all spreading their legs for me

[djbodyhorror]

It would be more accurate to say "they call me the cello the way a select few weirdos are spreading their legs for me," as the cello is not a widely played instrument, nor am I a widely liked person.

[djbodyhorror]

they call me the cello the way I go SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

[louisegluckpdf]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[thememedaddy]

[homunculus-argument]

Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

[mx-brahms]

Ancient egyptian: I wonder what shape we should give our pharao's tomb

The perilously pointy pyramid:

[woodsywarbler]

[flagellant]

um????? what???

[problempossum]

Me .8s after confirming my email by clicking the link below

[flagellant]

im the one in the background bc i did confirm my email by clicking the link below

[endbittersweet]

a friend of mine tried to sell his soul on ebay and the starter price was $10 and people were bidding on it but before anything happened ebay took it down and sent him an email explaining that if he was selling a soul that didn’t actually exist then it was against their policy and if he was selling a real soul then that is a human body part and it is also against their policy 

[arawol]

tag by @ilthit

[screenshotsofdespair]

[writemeasandwich]

[en-ole-robotti]

[number-one-toku-robot-lover]

[dorohedorah]

[antelopian]

[werecreature-addicted]

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

[radio-jupotter]

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

[radio-jupotter]

(Via @morganpdf )

[pupucino]

[plaguedocboi]

“We’re born alone and we die alone” you were born alone? Your mom wasn’t there?

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

[lucydacusgirl]

Thank god they brought back An Amount Of Daylight That Makes You Want To Live. It was getting a bit scary for a minute there.

[miamignonette]

let’s groove tonight, share the spice of life

[caruliaa]

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock