Defenestration is fun

@itspantsoclock

Hello. I'm Joey. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here. My blog has about a 70/30 split between funny/cute things and depressing things.............. ............................................................................... Background by Jessica Smith................................. http://mei-xing.deviantart.com

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hi how was your year i dont see you anymore

What who are you? Why are you anonymous? If we used to talk, but we don’t anymore, no matter who you are, I guarantee that I would like to. I don’t really resent anyone for anything, so you should just text me. If you have my phone number. I don’t really know how you would not have my phone number if we used to talk. So yeah.

But on the high likelyhood that you don’t text me because that would be too uncomfortable or something or you don’t want to be friends again, then I’ll tell you this: my year was pretty sucky. Relationships really got me down, no matter how much I tried to look past them, and I really wish I could have done a lot of things differently. I think I might only have one real friend now, so, if you’d be willing, I’d love to catch up so I might have like two friends or something.

ninfanaiade

|-/

itspantsoclock

Resolutions for 2015

do more extracurricular activities

drink water

wash my face more often

do my homework BEFORE I go to sleep

be less depressed all the time

care more about people

keep track of all the money that I am costing the world and that I am giving back to society through my employment

DON’T THINK ABOUT MAKING OUT WITH PEOPLE WHOM I SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT BE MAKING OUT WITH

be a more thoughtful and supportive boyfriend

figure out what I want to do with my life

itspantsoclock

I think I managed to super mess up everything on this list for a good majority of the year.

#yikes

lafilleblanc

Christoph Weber

Trauma, 2008

Various media

7 doors installation

(via)

rebeccajane

trichjournal

(Photo June 2015)

I didn’t realise it at the time, but here in this photo - I was at my highest point with my Trichotillomania. After more than a decade of fighting this disorder, I was appearing to beat it and had hair of my own that I hadn’t had in YEARS.

Within a month of this photo, I was triggered by heat of the summer and my permanent damage, that meant parts of my hair were struggling to grow amongst the locks that everyone else could see. Pulling is constant, but after years of suppressing urges - my energy caved in and I relapsed. Baldness and thinning soon set in. Within a few months, I was forced to crop it back, though of course that didn’t stop my disorder. Half a year on and I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve reached a point where shaving the remainder of my hair off appears to be my next (forced) move.

Trichotillomania is agonising. You’ve no idea what you’ve achieved, until it’s taken away from you. Your achievements are always overshadowed by the darkness that always follows close behind. And with each passing year, the weight of the previous and continuous damage, means that newer goals we set ourselves, have to be lowered on the spectrum of what we can realistically achieve.

It’s odd to me that my hair growth wasn’t enough for me at the time of this photo and now I Iook at those locks of gold like treasure. I doubt I’ll reach this position again, for several years at least (that’s if my hair regrows that is).

I wish that I could see my successes and live within them, as they happen. Not feel heart ache and despair over what I HAD achieved, months and years further down the line.