I feel so bad for my little self. She was just a child and had to go trough so much bullying, humiliation and self hatred. She had to ignore the eyes that sticked to her body in the locker room as the only bigger girl. She had to ignore the giggles and harrasement from the boys in her class for growing boobs early. She had to pretend that the people calling her all kinds of variants for fat and ugly didn't hurt her. She had to endure her family making "jokes" about her body. She had to wear unflattering clothing she didn't like. She had to sit and listen to the doctor's harsh words as they told her she needed to lose weight. She had to shove the food that she desired away from her, she had to sweat till her legs couldn't hold her anymore. She had to starve till her body lost all of its strength. She had to stick her finger in her throat to puke out any bit of food left in her stomach just for tiny red dots to appear on her face. She had to quietly cry herself to sleep at night so no one could hear how miserable she was. She had to avoid her own reflection in the mirror because she couldn't look at her own body anymore. No child should have to go trough that.
