HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEAT MOUNTAIN

Kiana Khansmith
Cosmic Funnies

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@ivybreeze
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEAT MOUNTAIN
a winter day
Waiting for the bus, the grass is blue-gray and glistening with silver dew drops. Breath comes in heavy puffs of swirling air. It is 6°c. Goosebumps form on exposed legs and arms. The water seeps through shoes and settles itself in socks. A magpie pecks genially at the dirt beneath, seeking breakfast. Its feathers ripple, shiny black and white, and its chest is softly puffed out in pride at its own glory.
The mist sits heavy among the treetops and crawls down the mountains. Nothing can be seen of the distance among the trees, aside from the swirling white vapor.
The warm sun gently guides the fog away again by midday, and the sky is crisp and clear, sunlight causing a faint golden glow around the edges of the earth
The cane stands ever present as a silent observer, growing tall over the sides of the road and concealing unknown creatures in the dark depth between the quivering stems. When they burn it, red flames leap high into the sky, tendrils licking together above the cars that race past. The smoke is thick and brown and can be seen from far away. Ash is carried on the wind and floats slowly down upon the earth, black strips that crumble and dissipate back into dust at a single touch. We smudge them onto our skin as war paint.
At night, the stars twinkle in the sky, the darkness deep enough to swallow us whole.
High School Gothic
You walk into the toilet block. The end cubicle is locked. You look under the door for feet. There are none. You walk to the exit. You walk back in. The sign on the door says vacant. The door is still locked.
Someone flicks your hair from behind. You don't look at them. You know already. There is no one there. Look ahead. Always look ahead.
There are people, other people. Everyone knows. You never see them. They crawl out of the woodwork for special occasions. No one knows what the occasions are. It’s a normal day, but there are people everywhere. They swarm around you, poking and prodding. These are not people.
The sky is black. It's the middle of the day. Black. Black with birds. They swoop and grin. They are laughing at us. They are here for the bugs, people say. The bugs died out long ago.
She likes you, someone says. She always likes you. It's common knowledge. You just ignore her. Something feels off.
There are two people dating each other. It's the talk of the school. When you ask, they say “yeah, we've been going out for a few weeks now”. They've never gone out. They never leave school grounds.
Swirling gusts of fierce winds twist the trees in large circles. The windows rattle and curtains billow like sails.
The wind rushes through the tops of the trees. It blows down on you like something alive---something angry. Papers scatter everywhere, winding around you, twisting with the dirt and the dead. All is lost.
Leaves rain down in autumn colours. They pile in every corner. There is no escaping the leaves. They crunch as you walk, and they crunch when you don't.
Something grumbles from above. The sky is dark. The lights flicker impatiently.
A shower opens up, running down, water in the concrete, pooling, the screen of droplets sliding towards you, and the lake growing at your feet.
You cup your hands to catch the falling water. It flows enthusiastically over the edges of your makeshift bowl. It can't be contained. It drips down you in cold streams. The water always falls here, curtaining the spot off from the rest of the world. You are safe now. Safe from everything but the water. It slowly grows, wriggling and writhing towards you.
The rain brings people towards you. You don't trust anyone who is not in your group. They might not be real. You try not to anger them either, they may bite.
You are playing a non contact sport. Five people leave with thick black bruises. You thought sport was supposed to be fun. Someone will knock you over if you aren't careful. People don't care. Not in sport.
There is mud on the field. It rained months ago. People sit there anyway.
You stand watching an ibis. It slowly pecks at something indeterminate. You look away, it is gone.
A delicate flower grows in the place of rubbish. It appeared overnight.
Someone calls your name. They want help. Help with what, you wonder. It doesn't matter, you help them. As you sit back down, they call again. The cycle never ends
You raise a hand in the air. No one pays attention. You wave the hand. You are invisible. Why aren't you being helped? The hand above you is not attached. You don't know whose it is.
Something ticks from the ceiling. There is nothing, nothing but ticking. Consumed in the sound, you search desperately for its source. There isn't a clock in this room.
Roused from a deep sleep, you look around. You are surrounded by the dead. They are scattered across the room like shrapnel. One by one, they slowly awaken.
The bus is dark. It's always dark on the bus. What happened to the windows? They don't want us to see outside anymore. Or maybe, they don't want us to be seen.
You sit at your desk. Bugs swarm out from nowhere. The table is covered in a brown, writhing mass. You feel something crawling up you leg. When you look down, your whole body is covered.
The lone sombrero on the desk leaks water, down, down. Dripping to the floor.
Cordial.
It's the gateway to all sorts of illegal, unspeakable things. Somehow, there is always a large gasket of the stuff at school camps. It drains quickly from those big hulking tubs into brightly coloured, rather scratched up cups. The liquid swirls in neon shades, sickly sweet. Tired, you begrudgingly gulp it down, just to get it away.
The sugar rushes through your veins. It makes you headstrong and confident, crazy. You suppress the nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach, but it grows with the passing minutes.
You rise from the plastic fold out table and fill your cup anew. The water there tastes plasticy and gritty, not unlike the cordial, but you crave more sugar. It calls to you, with its sweet smell.
Dingbat,
Asshat,
Stray cat.
"Where there are birds... there are more birds."
-someone in my class
*Walking past a stream* monkey brain: put your fully shoed feet in the water. Do it
*On a high up balcony* monkey brain: drop this plate. Just d r o p it. off the edge
I feel like Memrise saw all the Duolingo memes and was like "ok all we need to do to get popular is send a bunch of notifications and reminders to people"
This was supposed to be funny... it didn't work
Someone: "Arghh its hottt!"
Cool boy: "oh sorry" *big cheesy wink*
"I sound more like a seagull than seagulls" - this kid in my class
School Gothic
You walk up the wobbly path. The cast iron gate in front of you is closed. You walk into the complex and stand, relieved to be out of the bucketing rain. You never opened the gate. It creaks eerily behind you.
You weave between the other students. They all stand exactly where they stood yesterday, where they always stand. They turn slowly to face you as you pass, but when you look, they are back to normal.
Before you get where you are going, the rain reaches its hands down to stop you. The floor is wet. The water runs down towards your things. How did those get there? You wonder. You shouldn't walk through the rain. Who knows what you will find on the other side. You do anyway. Now you are wet, but you are not cold. You are hot, the air is thick and heavy.
Someone rushes towards you, excited to see you, but more excited to tell you the latest secrets. Who is this person embracing you? You do not know them, or maybe you do.
There is a constant drilling of rain on the roof, the windows, everywhere. At least, you hope that is the rain.
The cold silence of your class is disturbed by a loud crack. Thunder, they say. Thunder doesn't sound like that.
It's cold now. The rain has stopped, but water drips off everything. As you walk past, a bush shakes droplets at you. You can never seem to get dry.
Guide to small town Australia
It's unlikely you find murderers, but drugs and public mastubation is more common.
However, don't look and you won't find any of these things.
Depending on where you are, that is probably piss. You will have to learn to get around it.
Stay on the good side of that man you always see around town. He is unprodictable.
Undergarments grow on trees here. Don't think about it too hard.
Rumours spread through schools like wild fire. No one knows where they come from, but everyone knows the story. Each school has its own version. And each school has a reputation spread through these rumours.
Don't skate. You shouldn't even know how. It's not cool.
Don't not skate. Everyone cool hangs out at the skate park.
Can I just complain about teachers for a second?
Something I find really annoying is when they say the class can have an extention on an assignment but what they don't tell you is that they're still going to deduct marks if you don't hand it in on the official due date.
Like, could they at least warn us? Put it in the school handbook or something
Ugh
I spilled olive oil on my foot and now my toes are all slimy feeling