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@iwaslikedrizzle
I think the 1975 just like knows my life... their first album was all about falling in love and it was perfect for me and jd, and now their second album has just been perfect for our break up and wow, it's great. music is amazing.
after almost four months of being broken up with... it’s still hard.
but i’m glad i have to go through this.
As a songwriter, if you write a song that helps somebody get past losing someone that they trusted, and loved, and let into their life.. if your music helps somebody with that, when they’re heartbroken, when they need music more than any other time in their life.. it’s the nicest compliment that you could ever give me, so if that ever happened to you, thank you for letting my music into your life. One of the things that’s so devastating about having your heart broken is not the initial pain.. it’s the aftershocks of it, and trying to move on, and trying to replace all the habits that you had with this person you had in your life.. with new ones. And something like that can only happen over time. But I think the most devastating thing that happens when you have your heart broken, or when you lose somebody that you loved, or you lose a friend, even.. is that you start to regret letting people in.. you start regretting trusting people.. and you think, “God, I’m so stupid”, “I’m so foolish”, “Why would I let that person in my life?”, “Why did I trust them?”. But I wanna let you know something right now.. letting people in, and trusting people, and being vulnerable enough to do those things is NEVER stupid, it’s brave. So I don’t want you to ever regret that. And so, once this happens, you feel humiliated, and you feel embarrassed that you maybe chose the wrong person to trust.. and they betrayed you, or they deserted you, or.. it just didn’t work out for one reason or another.. and so, you go about your life and over time, very slowly, you start to replace the habits, like getting a text message in the morning from them.. waking up and expecting that, or a goodnight phone call, or little surprises. You start to replace spending time with that person, with spending time with your friends. And then maybe decision by decision, day by day, maybe you start living your life more on your terms, and not on anyone else’s. And then one day, maybe months later, maybe years later, but there is that day, when you look in the mirror and you don’t feel like heartbreak is written all over your face anymore. And all of a sudden, that day happens, and you feel.. clean.
Taylor Swift, “Clean” speech - 9/17/15 (Columbus, OH)
A really big part of my failing relationship is the fact that i don't state what i want clear enough.. but when i do, the boy doesn't even listen. why do i even bother? like it's not too big of a deal but i asked him to put my phone charger on the porch. i asked him to do so for a reason bc opening up the house to go out to the car to grab it from him would cause too much noise and i already came in and caused a lot of that. but then he completely ignores that i want it on the porch, so it's close to the house and accessible in the morning and puts it in my mailbox.. like what?? the newspaper gets delivered in my mailbox at 5am every morning. why the fuck would you put it there.. especially after i told you where i wanted it? today kind of sucked to be honest. the concert was great, but he treated me completely different today and kind of like i wasn't even his girlfriend at all. i didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to him bc god forbid we'll see each other before June 6th so that sucked too. But I'm sure he doesn't even care. I feel like I'm just his friend at this point. Oh well. Whatever.
I did the math today and I've come to realize that I will not be passing this semester with a 3.0 accumulative gpa. it sucks and i hate that it's probably due to my lack of interest in things and my mental stability. i'll have a between a 2.83-2.93 for my accumulative gpa. i really hope that i get some help this summer and get a positive attitude so that i can get into TC next semester and graduate on time. Because that would just suck so much if I didn't.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I need to chill.
Jonas Brothers - What Do I Mean
I. Can't. Breathe.
Boys are stupid and I don't know how relationships work because it's impossible to make people happy. How do people fall in love and stay in love? Like what do I have to do.
I can't even talk to you
when did my favorite holidays become so awful. spending New Year's Eve alone in my room crying for the second year in a row bc i'm pathetic
I can't decide if I would rather have a boyfriend that I go to school with or a boyfriend that I would get to see on holiday breaks. Because spending holidays away from JD SUCK and it hurts that he doesn't get it.
I don't do anything right. I'm lazy. I'm a bitch. I can't function properly. I'm 19 years old and act like I'm 5 years old. I'm a cry baby. I'm ungrateful. I'm a drama queen. I'm bipolar. I'm gonna get beat the shit out of if I don't do things. I'm not being yelled at, I'm just being talked to with an attitude. I need to learn how to respect her. I need to learn how to not talk back. I don't get the last word. I need to lose my attitude. I need to look at her when she's yelling at me and in my face. I need to stop crying. I need to think of her before myself. I need to stop being so selfish. Is this a fucking joke?? I have been home for two days and that's all I've heard come out of my mom's mouth to me. I'm 19 years old and I don't need to listen to this shit. I'm SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of being treated like I'm the worst person on the planet. I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't need this.
the one thing i have ever asked for is time.
there comes a time when you realize that you don't belong anywhere.
I cannot stand living in this house. I hate coming home for breaks. I hate my mom. I would rather be in a coma than have to ever come home again.
