«Evil Simon, my friend.» Solar smiles, sitting on the stool beside Simon in the bar. He has a fairly large duffle bag with him.
«It’s good to see you. Now, I believe we made a deal, yes?» Solar places the bag on the floor between them, where bottles can be heard clinking around.
*he scurried towards the bag, checking it.* oh my god…
THIS IS AMAZING!!! THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUU.
oohhh, OKAY. ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED TO KNOW… like- oh he committed some stuff while being president!!! also i cannnn try to uncover some of the blurrrrrry memories!! THIS IS GREAT YOU’RE THE BEST!!!!
*he was SHAKING with excitement, and kinda looked like this:*
TW// alcohol
Solar chuckles at him, pearly razors beaming. «Oh, you’re very welcome.»
«Take your time! We’ve got it.» He said cheerfully, setting a notebook and pencil out. Whilst Simon has his stimming fit, Solar orders himself an IPA. He typically doesn’t drink, but this occasion is quite unique.
*once he calmed down (well at least calmed down enough to focus.) he sat down.* ”Good taste you have there!”
*He put the bag in his lap.*
“so, stuff to say…”
“hey; what’s the chance paper is seeing this..? i think it was them who commented on something i said to you once… this is all like, anomymous right?”
«She did? Oh-» He waves a hand dismissively. «We’re fine now. I’ve got someone keeping her busy.» Solar grins. «Totally anonymous.»
”lets gooooo.”
“well, if he actually HIRED anyone to keep track of tbe government funding, they’d realize a lot is missing. For seemingly NO reason!!!”
“except that he’s giving it to me :3.”
“to fund my alcohol addiction.”
“and also my house too.”
“that’s why he just has to NOTE a lot of stuff instead of actually doing stuff!!”
«As blackmail?» His eye’s widen, picking up his notepad like a nerd. «Then why do you bother telling me all of this, if presumably you’re the only one in this town who knows of his past?»
(like a nerd is insane)
“welllllll. what? you’re against him too. with how anxious he is I doubt he’ll side with you if you reveal the blackmail. and how much power will you get if you can blackmail him like I can. you see how much he’s done for me.”
“you can destroy the YYFPP. Or ruin his reputation. you could do a lot. and my reputation is already shit too. what would you get from exposing me, beside you getting revealed for asking for this meeting.”
“i think its pretty good mutually!”
*he smiled at you.
«I’ll toast to that.» He nods, lifting his glass then taking a sip.
«So, what is the information dump for today? Or, really, what is it you can remember?»
”it’s a bit specific but.”
“i remember when he actually planned to go to the willworld.”
“He didn’t leave me behind, he actually promised to keep me updated.”
“He said some weird thing about everyone being stupid and wrong and that he’d show them.”
“He heard about Hawley Will Wood and wanted to help him.”
“he honestly agreed with hats the most, but in the end sort of wanted to see it burn.”
“This was everything the entire time until Liminals stuff at the banquet.”
“after that he said some weird ‘i dont get how i could ever do this why did YOU make me do this stella?’”
“he was just trying to blame me for this?”
“Brows is the only reason he really cared about the bald honestly.”
“might not matter much but he honestly doesn’t care about the YYFPP causes to my knowledge. only liminal losing. but hey, i cant even directly quote what he said!”
“I have something really cool too! I looked around, and I have a question. how did he win president so easily without any advertisements.”
«I’ve always wondered the same… I thought it was the grand hatred for Liminal, but Paper had many advertisements.» He sighs. «I don’t want to speculate fraud, but it’s possible.»
«I’ve always been fascinated by Liminal. Their methods, ideas, and political views. I think I may attempt to collaborate with them.»
«I know, it sounds insane, nobody would join my party. But- the people don’t NEED to know it’s Liminal, right? Some behind the scenes collaboration, or they could disguise. I truly believe me and them would get on well.» Solar shrugs. «We’re on similar sides.»
“fraud seems like the only option doesnt it? otherwise paper would have won!!”
“that’s a pretty interesting political idea… you have a pretty weird reputation already, liminal definitely wouldnt help man.”
*he thought for a second.* ”yeah. its possible. maybe you guys can talk or something?? Both are on the side of bald… and hate YYFP.”
“keeping it secret could be nice… buuut. blackmail exists. what if rob or paper found out. couls help you out power-wise. especially if you get along. you guys could like have a tea partyor whatever you guys usually do.”
“worth a shot i guess?? helps get rid of competition.”
“maaan i really want evil ball to get back… it’d make this a lot funnier.”
«Oh, trust me. The YYFPP will be no more in NO time. Would you like to see what I created?» He smiles, rolling up a sleeve. Under, there are maybe a dozen ticks unattached but crawling on his bare arm.
«Well, I didn’t create the bugs, but they contain something important.» Solar picks up one gently, presenting it in the palm of his hand. «A tick-borne disease, and no, not Lyme disease. It forces one’s immune system to attack rapidly dividing cells. Which, to put simply, is anything on the body that grows. You see where I’m going?»
«Now, not only would this hopefully permanently remove the hair off Woodlings and prevent it from growing back, but this would also attack the cells in their digestive tract. Extremely painful.»
«Well, not unless you create your energy via photosynthesis and absorb pure nutrients.» Solar laughs hearty, taking another sip from his drink.
"Uhhh. You better not use those on me. I have a shit ton of prostetics and i dont have a stomach.
Technically i only have liver."
*Bro smiled at you.*
"If you want, I always mail shit rob CANT share to the white house, I could add one of those guys to a letter."
"Soooo, what you're saying is that that'll remove your hair. how do you get the disease?"
"How many are there?"
*He mixed some everclear and OJ*
«You get the disease by the tick biting you, basically. They’re eager, though, so I wouldn’t want you handling one over to Rob.»
«I’m doing this whole… genetic mutation experiment. One where an object could preform photosynthesis for a person and provide them with energy. Effectively copying and pasting myself to produce a really, really strong party.»
«I’ve got well over a hundred, ticks produce like crazy. The ones I have on me right now are simply ones that I feel most fit. They won’t bite me, either. They understand too well that they shouldn’t.»
«If you are interested in such a transformation, I could always delve into a bit more research. I have all the time in the world on my hands!»
Solar writes occasionally in his notepad as the two converse.
”alright… does sound a bit risky. Ideas are ideas though right!”
“that’d be cool bur. i dont know how the fuck my anatomy works since I have like. 2 organs or something, so. i think im sustainable. something about that sounds uh…”
*they grimaced.* ”how did you feel about the red moon.”
“plus seems very uh. ehhhhhhh. to try to have a copy of one person with the same traits a ton.”
“one weakness and boooom.”
“Plus thats just iffy on general morally. Smart for yhe short term though.”
“Tics are a smart weapon. [murmurring] maybe the prosthetics and missing skin will actually come in handy.”
“So, those are just incase you meet somebody who’d need it, right.”
“…i’ll wair a second. I use my hair as like, a pocket sometimes. Has a lot of valuables in it.”
*he looked st your notebook.*
“heeeyyyy what’chu writing?”
«Well, not- not exact copies of me. I er, didn’t entirely consider the red moon thing. Solar panels will definitely be damaged from that.» He huffs, scribbling on his paper. «I’ll have to modify. Thank you.»
Solar hears Evil Simon mumble under his breath, but doesn’t ask him to reiterate.
«Yeah, of course. No worries, I’m just happy to have you help my party.»
«I’m just taking notes. Vague notes.» Solar shows him. «Nothing anybody will understand but me. My memory can be hazy sometimes.» He elbows Simon lightly. «I’m sure you understand.»
“Yep! Maybe you can modify your own solar pannel! That’d be reaaallly bad.”
“it’s nothinng! Great to have you as a friend .”
“It’s mutual, the helping party things. I’m sure that you won’t target evil ball at all! Right?”
“damn bro you didnt have to call ms out like that. but probably good to know. might need those too. just kidding.”
“unless i drink too muchhhhh.”
*he zoned out for a second.* ”Nah.”
“some important things are happening so you better not forget! smart.”
Solar chuckles lightly. «I’m not sure if I could really modify my own. I’m pretty much one of a kind.»
«Oh, college studies weren’t for nothing. But I’m flattered.» He grins, taking a sip from his beer.
«You’re quite clever as well. I hadn’t considered the red moon at all.»
«Y’know, I wouldn’t mind if we met here more often, even if not work related. It’s a nice atmosphere.» He twirls a pen in his hand. «I can cover tabs too.» Solar points the pen at him convincingly.
”if you could though, that’d be OP. just modifying yourself .”
”me? smart? nahhh. wrong guy. but, thanks anyways. red moon seemed pretty serious. so, thought it’s be bad if you forgot about it”
“I mean, yeah! You’re cool, I’d be fine with a hangout.”
“if you covered a tab of mine you’d go bankrupt.”
“so ill take that offer!! can we have a toast! to uh, being smart… and—“
*he paused and had no ideas.* ”and the thing you mentioned earlier!”
«Okay, fair. You do drink plentifully.» He puts his notepad down.
Solar raises his glass to cheer Evil Simon. «Us. Both as work partners and friends.» He smiles.
Oh, to befriend the haired isn’t meant to last. Solar will simply drag this out until he has gained enough information from his trustful foe, even if they share similarly hatred. Liminal is the goal.
”to us!!”
*he smiled back*
Allies with Solar Panel probably wouldn’t last. It’ll buy me enough time to get the actual important people out of here. Beside, it’ll be funny to watch this go up in flames. He’s fun to be around anyways!!
once this is over I can bring everything i know to the public, and see how both sides go down. this’ll be fun,