I'm an autistic DID system who is a Chinese living in my hometown. I was a IT programmer before getting fired for the cap of all the traumatic effect (somatic/emotions/alter disputes etc.) affecting my performamce, which I think is pretty fair enough so I don't blame them. So now I'm unemployed and I'm trying to rest for a bit and hoping to get healed.
系統綜合適用第二人稱
你/妳
COLLECTIVE PRONOUN 系統綜合適用第三人稱
她/他(們)/佢(地)
She/They. Unless someone here tells you otherwise. Some of them seems more like a "he" but not quite seems to care about gender. We seem pretty ok with body = cis female so that's it. But this body is a cis female and I've been relating myself to female for so long, so your best choice is to call us she/they.
ALTERS 人格部分
Uh... We're kind of like PDID in ICD 11, and recently I suspect we're polyfrag so things get pretty confusing over here. Afaik we're always cocon and even cofront but mainly it's me hosting. And we hardly have our own names. But I can still try my best to tell you some basic stuff about us.
HOST/SHELL 主控/外殼部份
直接叫我J吧. 如果你想指定稱呼主控部份, 那就說類似"J的主控部分"的話吧.
It's me. Chara.
... No, call us J or if you wish to be very specific about this host, then call us the host of J or something like that. I'm always here, even when I full switched (I know some of you might dislike this term but I think it describes my experience fairly good, so please excuse me) twice in life. The first time it was I got yoinked back to somewhere backend of the frontend (I told you I'm a programmer *cough*) and watched a proxy of demon or something alter to control the body, fully in charge of frontend thoughts, even teases me, while I went numb and lost sense of self, despite watching through body's eyes (but one step backward inside somewhere in brain) and feeling everything happened. That has to be way more than just a depersonalization.
THE INNOCENT CHILD
When I first aware of her existence (or re-existence), I could imediately tell she's the child version of me. It was when I had my second full switch. I forgot what exactly was the strong feeling that made me felt like rolling back to before I forced myself to become this personality during the days where the last straw of the traumas explicitly ruined me. (And yes, I remember quite a lot of the said trauma, and many other traumas) And suddenly, I feel like I'm gonna rollback, then I went back to the backend of the frontend again. Despite this time iirc I still kind of feel my sense of self, it's a lot more comfortable than the previous full switch. I forgot about the exact time line but I did feel like "oh, so she's still here and that's how she feels over all these years", after realizing her depression and guilt on what she has done over all these years by "summoning" us, me and the "demon". I feel sorry for her. But I refuse to give up my part and living like her and rollback, for self/system protection or selfish sake. I mean if living like her was feasible, I wouldn't be here and hosting for years.
DNI
As long as you're not a freak or troll or Nazis or some sort of that, I'm good with it. And of course, do NOT fakeclaim or diminish anyone's trauma.
First thing first: Forgive me if the following actually exsisted as a controversy topic or something. Also, I hope you guys don't mind me get involved in autism community discussion or something, at least there's an official diagnosis of aspergers back in those days. Not sure if it's correct and if they've changed anything at all in their system with the change of diagnostic standard though.
With the current mental status and ability, I don't think I can elaborate it in a detailed enough way (and English is not even my first language). But here you go:
What if we try to seperate the idea of autism as a kind of ND, and ASD as an autism's ND problems that needs systematical health care for individuals to overcome? And in that case, I'd also think we should modify the name of ASD a bit. Maybe something like "Autism Adaption Difficulties"?
I don't feel like we should call Autism in general a "disorder", I feel better to call it a "disability" BUT it's not just about disability. There are some aspects of so much better structure of how the mind works than the NT, but it became a "disability" because the NTs don't think that way and autistic became the odd one who has difficulties to adapt to it. And often being told autistic should be the one who "blend in" (because we the minorities should suit the majority or some ****), instead of the "abled" adapting a better framework, especially in this mordern world.
Psy doctor in COURT claiming that "autistics usually don't like socialising," "he actively signed up for out of class activity... he likes helping people," "(but) he has little social circle... I'd consider him being introvert more than autistic," "dissociative disorder usually doesn't reoccur," "dissociation isn't a planned action and doesn't hide so he can't be vandalising in one toilet cell and knowing to go to the other cell to hide the fact that it's him writing the words on the wall"
The quotes are based on what I could remember from the news and my interpretation/translation could be a bit off, but like... What kind of shit is this?!!! If they know nothing about these especially autism in 2026 (people knowing not much about dissociation is a ted bit more understandable imo), why the fuck are they eligible for holding a fucking license for a psychiatric doctor?!! And even get to BULLSHIT IN COURTS?!!!!!
Not sure what should I put for cw but it's about clinical experience with bull shit doctor, and mention of forced medication
I requested a blood test for serotonin level because I know SSRI (or SNRI) can affect the reception of serotonin in blood and causes higher risk of bleeding, but it turns out the doctor did not refer such testing in the blood test referal at all. Let's not talk about why do I need to prevent bull shit doctor for forcing me to take Western med in some case, after all the wait for the appointment to meet that shit again, he gave excuses for twisting what I said and also bull shit about therevs no blood test for serotonin around the world, and even suggest me that I can look up for AI help.
Yeah sure there's no 5-HT test at all and the statistic of only 2% serotonin is found in the brain where others are in intestines and PLATELETS are just make ups with no prove.
How do we tell if it's some CDD stuff of alter memory (is there even such a term and even refering to my meaning?) or some sort of presuodo memory that makes one remember/hear things differently from real world, other than stuff like psychosis? Like... when someone says they're Peter and you heard Mary instead? I *think* some alters might be able to do these kind of trick and tricking others to hear/remember things wrong?
Me, an educated system: *Looks at different systems alters* *Looks at psychology* *Looks at Chinese medic* *Rolls eyes*
They never tell you that it's more of mussels control instead of the shape of eyeball. When you mention mussels they argue with definition of myopia. With my wild but more than likely correct guess, it's because the capitals of related bussiness especially surgery related does not want to lose money. It's definitely potentially possible for many cases if they try to understand shit right and deal with how to balance out a human system (even a singlet is still a system of their own), but western shits wanna deny "Chinese medic psychology" (a most likely over simplified translation done by me for 祝由術, a very powerful yet pretty closeted method so it's very hard to seek for it even in Chinese living areas) or even just the way more non-closet common Chinese medic methods like accupunture. It's about how your brain controlls your body. It's theoretically possible. But instead, they try to cut your body parts out of you AND rob tons of money. They don't even admit they're idiots on stuff like cancer compared to Chinese medic, let alone less life theatening stuff like this.
I saw someone said they had trouble at immigration station because of their fingerprint being DIFFERENT between alters. But uh... I thought fingerprint is not something that your muscle can affect at all?? Is that really possible for systems to have different fingerprints???
Taro sago, though replaced with milk instead of coconut milk that's usually served with it, still pretty great. Just maybe not that great for our intestine. lol
I saw someone said they had trouble at immigration station because of their fingerprint being DIFFERENT between alters. But uh... I thought fingerprint is not something that your muscle can affect at all?? Is that really possible for systems to have different fingerprints???
We're In This Together: A Post of Pairs & Connection in Alters
This topic's not commonly talked about, since we always thought that alters have to be different in order to be a valid experience as a system. I've come here to show you another perspective to tackle that Status Quo:
Alter's are connected with each other--sometimes obvious like in pairs, sometimes subtle ways on how they communicate to other groups better.
It'll be an interesting subject today--I'll Show ya!
Fast Pass: TLDR Section Is Available!
Alright, Im Listenin'
We've had many discussions within the community on why parts are compartmentalized, became distinct personalities, or able to hold different memories/symptoms/skills. Now, that's one view systems often focus on,, this's the time to talk about what's been keeping your innerworld and parts functional in real life despite the chaos.
Do you often think to yourself why parts come in pairs or many at once instead of one by one in a gradual timeline?
While there's no single factor that helps make sense of this, there ARE some primary ones:
Low Dissociation
It's what helps them understand each other's thoughts without saying them out loud, since they vibe with similar frequencies.
Low Emotional Amnesia
This helps them understand what the other is feeling, no matter how small, its like some integrated empathy that's mutually shared.
Splitting from the same Source (alter)
While it's true that the essence were distributed away, some retain the original part, which often makes those separated alters gravitate towards each other again. Sometimes they also remember where or who they belonged to, retaining past memories is absolutely possible.
Arriving from similar origins
They can appear one after the other (in short time span) or alternatively, appear together in a group. This can be caused by changes in the environment/daily life, which brings forth newer equipped alters if existing parts fail to integrate/download the updates.
Is this,, Normal?
It sure is, and there's reasons to back those up.
Similarities can be shared across alters due to how amnesia and dissociative barriers affect each alters differently, this can be compared with two extreme spectrums:
The OSDD 1a is subtype where amnesia and barriers are still prominent, yet the lack of distinction brings us some hints that alters do not have to be different in order to be separate.
And the Polyfrag can have multiple variations of a single alter, contrasting with OSDD's less distinct but separate parts. This suggests different forms of interconnection--meaning, alters are linked through shared origins, functions, or retained traits rather than always being fully different personalities.
Those with DID or other CDD's can also experience this, just in less obvious forms outside of my examples. Depending on what type of system you are, this experience will manifest differently for everyone, and is not universal or comparable.
If you're still confused why an alter split or formed here and there, then it might be harder to understand why groups can appear--In this case, i'll explain the basics to help you understand why.
Tell Me Why?
It's possible to split or form alters that have similar skills, traits, or purposes since the brain do not possess an innate sorting system based on aesthetics or clear organization to box each parts differently.
When you think about it, the brain is geared for survival and producing resources based on what obstacles it had encountered--think about how sharing workload provides better stress resilience when compared to a single part handling all the burden, a big contrast isn't it?
An alter who forms or splits from, is the cause of stress from uncertainty or any complex issues it cannot navigate/solve. It's much easier to simplify solutions to black and white, leaving the grey areas untouched,, this helps them perform actions immediately without overthinking any other perspectives.
Now, if they came in groups, it got the same reason why one appeared,, but now a level above it. There could be multiple stress at once which produces a batch in a similar time frame.
What does their Arrival mean?
If there's an ongoing theme or when the majority have one or multiple traits or issues it's dealing with (e.g, most of your headmates struggles with trust) , that could be a BIG hint that something is up.
You can also call it a reoccurring problem that's desperate to be solved, something that you're uncomfortable to face--yet crucial to heal from.
And, from the alters you've gained throughout your journey, it reflects what stress or trauma that needs to be overcame one day. So.. instead of dreading why you've gained new members, try using a different mindset and ask what do you need in order to cope,, assuming new ones arrived to help you get through life.
How's this related to our topic--
It does relate for today's main subject, because of how some alters talk, and often create their own social groups based on how well they connect with each other.
See for instance, holders can have better access to other holder's memories or how ANP's can talk better with their own similarities compared to talking to EP's groups. Depending on what the alter's dissociated away from, the less distinct, the better they're related to each other.
E.g, A and B are both anger holders, despite having different memories to why they adapted an explosive behavior, the dissociation between them aren't high due to holding the same emotion--Anger. This main similarity between them is what creates better inner communication.
So, its true that alters are all different, although because they belong to the same mind--it's bound to collide and create similar variations from external environment or stimulus.
Okay, i understand! (Takeaway)
That's great, because even if CDD's are made to separate stressful memories or traumas, it does not stop from parts being able to communicate due to their own connected origins which bypass the general amnesia and barriers all systems struggle with!
At the end, to simply explain why connection exists within dissociation, its definitely because of one word: Relation.
Dissociation and amnesia makes it hard to be aware of your own parts or their purpose, but if you got some common grounds to start a conversation--it'll serve as a realization that you're not as separated from everyone else as you'd thought.
Have i challenged the Status Quo?
If this made you rethink how alters connect, you might find subsystems even more interesting, here's the link to it!
- c
TLDR SECTION
Alters don’t always exist as completely distinct individuals—many are interconnected in ways that challenge the common perception of system dynamics.
Some alters form in pairs or groups, sharing traits, emotions, or origins. This happens due to factors like low dissociation, low emotional amnesia, splitting from the same source, or arriving from similar life circumstances.
Polyfragmented systems can have multiple variations of a single alter, contrasting with OSDD’s less distinct but still separate parts. This suggests that alters can be linked through shared origins, functions, or retained traits rather than always being fully different personalities.
Alters arriving in groups often reflect recurring stress or trauma, signaling unresolved issues that need attention. Instead of seeing new alters as a setback, they can be understood as adaptations meant to help the system navigate challenges.
Key takeaway:
Despite dissociation and amnesia, alters are often connected in ways that make inner communication and cooperation possible. Recognizing this can help systems better understand and communicate with themselves.
你的人格分裂華人之友Your Chinese DID Pal @j-chineseenglishdidstuff - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
