Jackson Schuester

Switch, 24, artist.

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

He moved back a little and kissed his temple. “Me too. Me too. We’re gonna get there though. Gonna get there together and gonna use everything they teach us to make our life good as it can be.” He wasn’t sure how true it was that they needed most of what the school was teaching them, but it was his job to keep as positive as he could. “Sure will and we’re gonna have a lot more protection.” 

Jackson was definitely comforted by that thought, and his eyes traveled down to look at the mark on his wrist. The tattoo had long since healed, and the ink had faded ever so slightly and very much looked like it had always been a part of his skin. He knew it wouldn’t be officially completed until after his graduation, but the idea that he would, very soon, get to experience life being treated as the mark he was... well that was something he’d been waiting for a long time. 

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

Asher breathed in and out contentedly as he wrapped Jackson up in his protective embrace. He nodded rocking them side to side. “You ain’t wrong. Might be somethin’ we need to bring up with that new headmaster. Gotta have more options for people that ain’t gonna be havin’ sex and more options to get us where we need to be. Way things are set up now ya almost gotta go against your own limits just to graduate.” He wished he had a better solution. “We’re gonna claim soon at least.” 

“I wish we could graduate without needing to get so many points.” He whispered. He couldn’t help but smile when Asher mentioned their impending claim. “At least that’ll get us closer.” He said softly. 

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

Ash was getting better at translating Jax into Asher. ‘It was okay,’ didn’t strictly mean okay. It probably meant it was either fine or totally not fine, but I don’t wnat to bother you. He went with a safe interpretation. “Not enjoying your classes much. Mine are not too bad. That World Politics class is gonna kick my ass. And be boring while doin’ it.” He came closer and opened his arms. It was always an invitation, not a demand. He had no problem Dominating him, but only in the ways that mattered and never when it came to affection. “It’s better now.” 

Jackson stepped into Asher, accepting the embrace quite willingly. He released a breath, instantly feeling less stressed. It was pretty amazing to Jackson how Asher could read him like an open book. “Yeah world politics was not fun...” He agreed, remembering when he took it. “This school either needs more class options or I need to graduate like, this semester.” He sighed. “I’m still not even halfway to the amount of points needed to graduate though.” 

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

Asher was in the kitchen waiting on the teapot to come to a boil. He had a light smile on his face. He knew how difficult this month was for Jackson and he knew that they were about to embark on something pretty dang monumental. But still just the knowledge that they were doing this and more importantly that they were ready to do this made him genuinely happy. He heard the doorknob turn and the smile grew. “I’m in here. Just makin’ some tea.” He rounded the corner and watched Jackson neatly put his stuff away. “How was your day darlin’?”

Jackson looked up to greet Asher with a smile, “It was okay.” He shrugged. If he were to be perfectly frank, he didn’t really enjoy his day. It wasn’t a bad day, by any means, it just wasn’t enjoyable. His classes were long and held very little interest for him, and the time had seemed to just stretch on and on and on for far longer than he cared to tolerate. He was so glad to be home (even if it wasn’t technically his home...) and finally be able to just unwind and relax with his Dom. “How was yours, Sir?” He asked. 

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[jacksonxschuester]

miss-madeline-beiste​:

[PM] That’s okay, Jackson. I would never be upset with you in that situation. Understood?

PM: Understood, Miss. 

[miss-madeline-beiste]

[PM] Good boy. I don’t know if that psychology is right about controlled pain helping, but I’m more than willing to be the Domme who tries it with you.

[jacksonxschuester]

PM: Thank you, Miss. I'm quite grateful that you're in this class with me.

[jacksonxschuester]

The path from the library to Asher’s suite was quite familiar to Jackson at this point. He spent more night’s in Asher’s suite than he did in his own, which was just another reason he was sure this was the right time to start this process. When he got there, he didn’t bother knocking, instead just letting himself in like he had so many times before. He doesn’t remember when they gave up the formalities of knocking on the door first, but he has no complaints about it. “Hi, Sir.” He greeted Asher as he put his shoes, coat, and book bag into the entry closet. 

@asherkarofsky

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[jacksonxschuester]

miss-madeline-beiste​:

[PM] That’s okay, Jackson. I would never be upset with you in that situation. Understood?

PM: Understood, Miss. 

[dexter-wells-beiste]

Text: We should probably talk about our application at some point, right? -Jackson

Text: We sure should. Don't want to push you though. We can wait til March if you want. Or we can just sort talk things through a little bit at a time so it don't get overwhelming.

@jacksonxschuester

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

Text: Yeah, I know. I don’t mind taking your mind off a them, but if you want talk bout that stuff you can too. Let’s save claim talk for our time in bed together. I like having you close when we talk about important things. 

Text: I know, Sir. I guess I just feel like I’ve done a lot of talking about it all in the last few years. I’ve done a lot of looking back and analyzing the past, because I’ve been scared of looking into the future. But right now, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I might actually have a future, you know? I want to focus on that. That makes sense, I like talking about that stuff when I’m close to you too. I’m almost done in the library, so I’ll come over when I’m finished here? 

[dexter-wells-beiste]

Text: We should probably talk about our application at some point, right? -Jackson

Text: We sure should. Don't want to push you though. We can wait til March if you want. Or we can just sort talk things through a little bit at a time so it don't get overwhelming.

@jacksonxschuester

[jacksonxschuester]

Text: I don’t mind talking about it. It’ll help take my mind off the other things, you know? 

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[jacksonxschuester]

miss-madeline-beiste​:

[PM] I’m really glad you have him, Jackson. For me, I’d like you to come up with a safe word just for this scenario, so I know what’s going on. We don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, but that way I can know what you’re thinking without you having to vocalize some of those difficult thoughts.

PM: I’m glad I have him too. 

Okay, I can try to come up with a word. I have to be honest though, sometimes I’m not really conscious of what’s happening until it’s well beyond the point of no return. So even with a safeword in place, I can’t guarantee I’ll be self aware enough to use it. 

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[jacksonxschuester]

miss-madeline-beiste​:

[PM] All right. I don’t plan to speak to him about what you’ve told me, but I may have to if I judge it necessary. Have you gotten to the point where you let Asher know when you’re feeling like this?

PM: Sort of? I mean, not necessarily in words, I guess. He’s sort of incredibly observant. He’s usually finding some way to distract me before I’ve even realized what’s happened. 

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[miss-madeline-beiste]

[PM] Thank you for being so open with me, Jackson. I know that’s not easy to do. Is it okay if I say anything about this to Asher if the topic somehow comes up, or would you prefer it stay between you and me? How often do you start to feel this way?

[jacksonxschuester]

PM: I don’t intentionally keep secrets from him, so that’s probably fine? I don’t know. Depends on how my mental health is, I guess. Sometimes my OCD is worse than other times. 

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[miss-madeline-beiste]

If you’d like, I can try to partner up with you in class whenever possible. Do you enjoy pain at all?

[jacksonxschuester]

PM: I'd appreciate that. I don't know that enjoy is the right word... I have a history with self harm. It's one of the not-so-fun things that goes along with my OCD. But it's been suggested by multiple therapists that controlled pain play might be a useful tactic, because they think maybe it'll have the same effect on my brain but a dominant will know where the limit is and when to stop whereas I cannot stop until after I've gone way too far, in most cases.

[miss-madeline-beiste]

[PM] That sounds like a reasonable way to approach it. Can you tell me more about what triggers the self-harm for you, and what you get out of it? I don’t want you to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing with me, but I think I would be better able to take care of you while doing our assignments if I had more background. Does Asher know about this?

[jacksonxschuester]

PM: I think the most common trigger is just when I'm not able to act on my compulsions. Like if I'm in a messy space, and I want to clean it but someone is telling me I can't or I'm physically being stopped somehow, I get itchy. And then I start scratching and I can't stop. And that's just one example... I find it gets worse when I'm at really low points in regards to my depression. And it's especially bad when my anxiety is triggered. As far as what I get out of it... it gives my brain something else to focus on I guess? I don't know exactly... I just know that it helps and I've done it my whole life, so I don't really know anything different. Asher knows. I don't know if he understands the full extent of it... but he's aware of it at least.

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[miss-madeline-beiste]

If you’d like, I can try to partner up with you in class whenever possible. Do you enjoy pain at all?

[jacksonxschuester]

PM: I'd appreciate that. I don't know that enjoy is the right word... I have a history with self harm. It's one of the not-so-fun things that goes along with my OCD. But it's been suggested by multiple therapists that controlled pain play might be a useful tactic, because they think maybe it'll have the same effect on my brain but a dominant will know where the limit is and when to stop whereas I cannot stop until after I've gone way too far, in most cases.

[jacksonxschuester]

Looks like we get to enjoy a class together this semester, Jackson. -Madeline

Seems like it, Miss. I'm glad to have a familiar face for that class, if I'm honest. I'm not actually that keen on it, but I'm running out of classes to take that I haven't done before.

@miss-madeline-beiste

[jacksonxschuester]

FTF: The lights were out, the door was locked, and they were back in their own bed. He gently hugged Jackson closer. "Been looking at the points and guess what?"

Jackson looked up from his sketchbook, "Hmm?" He asked, showing he was listening to Asher despite the pencil still moving along the page under the glow of the bedside lamp.

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

There had been a distinct possibility in Asher’s mind that Jackson would simply say no. He would have accepted that because he knew that Jackson had so many reasons to not be ready. “No not tomorrow.” He smiled and kissed the top of his head. “March is a damn fine month. Beginning of Spring and all that. Seems to me that we got lots to figure out and plan out so March is soon enough.” He wished he could stop smiling like a fool. It wasn’t happening tomorrow, but it was happening. 

Jackson carefully moved to set his sketchbook aside on the night-table, because right now the moment demanded all of his attention. He turned to face Asher head on, meeting his eyes and taking in that bright, beautiful smile. He loved that he could make Asher smile like that. There was a part of him that would absolutely wear this man’s collar tomorrow, given the right circumstances. But Jackson knew that this sort of thing took time and planning, and not only that, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to dedicate himself wholly to a trial claim during the month of February. That month held too much emotional baggage for him. Despite that, he couldn’t help but feel this had come at the perfect time... Sure, he’d grieve the anniversaries the month held; the day his trial claim with Steven had started, the anniversary of their first kiss, the day he died, and the day of his burial. But this year, instead of looking into the future and seeing nothing but uncertainty and grief, he could look forward and realistically picture a life where he was happy. And it had been such a long time since Jackson was able to do that... as he stared at Asher, he saw a future he’d been keeping locked away from even his own mind. He saw that smile greeting him each morning as Jackson set a plate of freshly cooked breakfast down for him. For the first time he pictured a life beyond the age of thirty, and before he knew it he was pressed into Asher’s chest, hugging him tightly and experiencing a tidal wave of emotions hitting him all at once. 

[jacksonxschuester]

FTF: The lights were out, the door was locked, and they were back in their own bed. He gently hugged Jackson closer. "Been looking at the points and guess what?"

Jackson looked up from his sketchbook, "Hmm?" He asked, showing he was listening to Asher despite the pencil still moving along the page under the glow of the bedside lamp.

[jacksonxschuester]

asherkarofsky​:

The pencil stopping spoke loud and clear. Excitement, but also fear. “Yeah. Kind of lost track. Guess doin’ that safari thing did the trick. Thank goodness for Maddie.” He rubbed Jackson’s arm. “Don’t mean we gotta do anything tomorrow, but I think it’s a good thing. Was scared I wasn’t gonna be able to keep you safe for years.” 

Jackson knew Asher wouldn’t push him before he was ready, and it was probably the fact that he knew that without even having to second guess it that made him feel ready. “Definitely not tomorrow.” He agreed though, suddenly very aware of the date. “Actually... if it’s okay with you, Sir, I don’t want to apply until March at the earliest.” He said. “But we should definitely talk about it... Figure out a plan?”