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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
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@jackxhudson-blog
Text to (the world's biggest) Jackass
Justin: YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. BITCH ASS WISHING TROLL.
Justin: OH WELL, I'M PREPARED. I'M RELATED TO YOU. NOTHING COULD GET WEIRDER.
Justin: YOU'RE A BITCH 24/7 SO AT LEAST I'M JUST TEMPORARILY A BITCH.
Jack: I'm gonna tell Auden you're mean to me.
Text to (the world's biggest) Jackass
Justin: AN INNOCENT FLOWER THAT WAS GROPING HIS GIRLFRIEND IN THE KITCHEN AND THEN IN THE LIVING ROOM ONLY HOURS LATER...LIKE YOU'RE NOT INNOCENT WITH YOUR HANDS ON TANA'S ASS AND YOUR JUNK PRESSED AGAINST HER BACK OMG.
Justin: NO OMFG. I GOT SICK IN THE LIVING ROOM becauseIwasdrunk BUT SERIOUSLY?
Jack: LIKE YOU WOULDN'T DO THE SAME THING TO AUDEN IF YOU COULD. BTW? I'VE MET HIS SIBLINGS AND HE HAS A BIG ASS MUSCLEY BROTHER AND A PSYCHO TWIN SISTER? YOU KNOW THAT CHICK WITH THE LONG BROWN HAIR WHO WORE THE RED DRESS AND SANG THAT CLASSIC SONG AND GIVES EVERYONE EVIL EYES? THATS HER.
Jack: Ur my bitch nao.
Text to (the world's biggest) Jackass
Justin: NO I DIDN'T. I COULD KICK YOU RIGHT NOW.
Justin: ACTUALLY I'LL JUST GO KICK YOUR DOG INSTEAD.
Justin: OR PUT MY FURBY IN YOUR ROOM WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP.
Justin: OR BOTH.
Justin: alksfhlsakhdflskahfsal IRRELEVANT. YOU ARE AS RELEVANT AS RAY-J AT A KANYE SHOW.
Jack: I am an innocent flower. Stop with the hostility or I'll tell Mom about the bleach spot underneath the rug in the living room.
Text to (the world's biggest) Jackass
Justin: WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR HEAD OUT FROM BETWEEN MONTANA'S LEGS AND FUCKING TELL ME WHY YOU THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW AUDEN IS DEAF...
Justin: I MADE AN ASS OF MYSELF THE OTHER DAY.
Justin: That's it, I'm sending your ass to an orphanage.
Jack: I figured you knew! Sorry! I mean, why do you think I took all those sign language classes with Tana if I didn't know someone who was deaf? I aSKED if you wanted to come to them!
Text to Jackass.
Justin: SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Justin: AND IS THE TRASH TAKEN OUT?
Jack: ASK HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND SATURDAY, OBVIOUSLY.
Jack: FFS YES IT IS.
Text to Jackass.
Justin: -screenshots of the texts between him and Tana-
Justin: YOU CALL ME A JACKASS AND YOU SAY YOU WISH I'D GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT I HERE I AM GIVING YOU SOMETHING YOU'VE WANTED FOR YEARS BOW DOWN TO ME AND TAKE THE TRASH OUT FOR ME.
Jack: holy fuck.
Text to Jack-off.
Justin: NO, I TOLD HER ABOUT HOW YOU JACK OFF TO HER (sorry) AND SHE WAS ALL LIKE "OH, WOW, THAT'S REALLY SEXY" AND THEN WAY LATER WAS LIKE, "I NEED A COLD SHOWER THANKS TO THIS INFORMATION BUT YEAH"...Dude she wants you to bang the hell out of her omg.
Jack: BUT I WANNA DATE HER TOO.
Text to Jack.
Montana: Whattt? x)
Montana: Um, yeah...you know...I hope that doesn't weird you out or I'm gonna feel like an asshole...
Montana: I may or may not fantasize about things happening in the backseat of your Impala omg.
Montana: Yay, okay then. :) Me too. It'll be great...so great. :)
Jack: :P
Jack: It doesn't! I promise.
Jack: Uh. Oh? Oh. Ohh. Nice.
Jack: I'll pick you up Saturday at 7?
Text to Jack.
Montana: Oh...well...I mean, that's cool...don't be so -mortified emoji- about it. :)
Montana: Uh...yeah...it really is. I mean, we've been friends for year so I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had a fantasy or two about you before. Heh, thanks. :3 Good to know I'm so fantasy worthy.
Montana: Really? Oh my gosh. So, no Natasha? Forreal? Yeah, of course. :)
Jack: Fdjdjsj
Jack: oh..? Well.. Good to know too.
Jack: No Natasha ever again, haha. That's over forever. Really..? Sweet. I'm excited. :)
Text to Jack-off.
Justin: SO, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.
Justin: MONTANA WOULD TOTALLY FUCK YOU.
Justin: SO, GO FOR IT.
Jack: OH MY GOD SHUT UP
Jack: WAIT WHAT.
Jack: you liar.
Text to Jack.
Montana: So, it was true? -more blushing emojis-
Montana: That's actually a pretty sexy mental image, if you ask me...and I mean, I'm totally flattered that you think I'm attractive enough to do that...and yeah.
Jack: .. Maybe.. -mortifed emoji-
Jack: It is...? I mean.. You totally are.
Jack: You down for the dance this Saturday..?
Text to Jack.
Montana: Sooo....Justin informed that you were talking about me the other day? My ears weren't exactly burning, but maybe that's because it was sort of a one-sided conversation if you know what I mean...-blushing emojis-
Jack: hE DID WHAT.
Jack: He. I. Wha.
Text to Jackass.
Justin: THIN WALLS, JACKASS. THIN WALLS.
Justin: Plus, the girl wears heels with everything, has a tongue ring, and lays all over you...it's expected...if you're the type that likes vagina.
Justin: BUT PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I BUST IN YOUR ROOM AND IMITATE THE WAY YOU WERE SAYING HER NAME TODAY WHEN YOU THOUGHT NO ONE WAS HOME.
Justin: WAIT, IS SHE STILL OVER HERE? MUHAHAHA THAT'S PERFECT.
Jack: I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU.
Text to Jackass.
Justin: So, I'm pretty sure the neighbors know Tana's name and she wasn't even fucking in your room. AND I'M GONNA TELL HER ABOUT IT. B) trololol.
Jackson: YOU'RE A LIAR I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
Text to Jake Ryan (Jack)
Montana: yesssss. xD were gonna have to give it its own room, because I feel like it would interrupt...things. Ahaha.
Jack: Totes. The tiger room. Can we name it Tony?
Text to Jake Ryan (Jack)
Montana: So, I just saw this show where these people had a tiger as a house pet. omg. When we get married, can we do that? xD
Jack: Hell yeah. Yolo.
KURT IS HAVING BARBARA MOVIE NIGHT WITH RACHEL, and likeā¦I was dying here. He was so ridiculous. I was going to text you like, āYoooo I need my knight in a shiny impala to roll up at anytime because Iām stuck the acapella tower from hellā but I didnāt know what you were doing.
The movieās over now, though and Blaineās asleep. So, Iām debating on if I want to sneak out with you or sit in my pajamas and watch TV with the dog.
Why couldn't Blaine join them? I'm so, so sorry. I've been sleeping, actually. I actually worked out earlier so now I feel like I'm gonna die. We could skype and watch Netflix together? I'm still grounded from last time I got caught sneaking out.
